AMNESIA AND A LOVE TRIANGLE
by Paper lantern18
Summary: After a traumatic event, Harry loses his memory and forgets what led to his condition, including two love-struck Slytherins. HP/LM... Later: HP/? A whole lot of hurt/comfort... Slash with explicit content you have been warned... i do not own the image... Please have mercy this is my first fanfic.
1. Chapter 2

Finally, I've started the dang story (Ha! Take that, non-believers). I would like to thank those you bothered to set up a story alert even before this chapter was posted….Thanks for your trust.

**Warning:** the chapter contains swearing, newspapers and teacups.

CHAPTER 1: WAKING UP

Harry tossed and turned on the bed as his body ached. Slowly he opened his eyes and was greeted by his dark room in 12 Grimmauld Place. He frowned, not remembering how he got into bed: the last thing he could recall was drinking in the Three Broomsticks with Ron, Neville and Seamus.

_I must have passed out_, Harry thought to himself. He sat up a bit too quickly and winced as his back throbbed. _That's the last time I'll let Ron talk me into a drinking contest._

He stood up- slowly this time- and felt around for his glasses and slippers. After successfully donning them, he made his way out his room and down the grand staircase. He felt hungrier than usual: he could already taste the coffee and toast he was going to make himself.

His tummy rumbled. "And a lot by the sound of it." He said with a laugh, surprised at how hoarse he sounded and then promptly tripping on something.

Harry, thanks to his seeker reflexes, caught himself and looked down at the offending object…

Or in this case, creature: Buggy, his house elf, was picking himself of the floor.

"Oh sorry, Bug." He said, helping the elf up.

The elf only stared at him in disbelief. "Master Potter is waking up." Buggy said slowly.

"Yeah, I guess I overslept." Harry scratched his head and gave a sheepish smile. "Don't worry about getting me breakfast…" he looked at the clock "Er…lunch -or brunch in this case- I've got it."

Harry started once again to the kitchen, oblivious to the house elf that ran into the study.

Upon reaching the kitchen, he smiled; it felt like he was seeing it for the first time. He gathered his bread and margarine but when he reached for the bread knife, it was not in its place. He frowned and searched for a spare knife but could not find any. He scratched his head again and scanned the kitchen for it. Finally, he spotted a gleam of silver in the top cabinet, but it was too high.

"Oh, Ron." He growled, reaching for a stool. Ron was the only one tall and childish enough to keep them up there. "You think this is amusing, don't you."

He clambered up the stool and was about to reach for the knob, when the door burst open, revealing a disheveled Ron and Hermione.

Harry turned to them and sent a glare Ron's way. "Seriously Ron, I may be a jerk sometimes but that doesn't mean you should hide all my cutlery." He snapped. As he opened the cupboard, he saw all his knives and forks- in fact, anything and everything sharp.

Harry growled and grabbed a knife, promising to deal with the rest later. "If I didn't know better I would've thought you were child-proofing the house, or by the looks of it, the whole country." He commented dryly, climbing down again and grabbing the margarine.

Hermione and Ron only stared at him, mouths hanging open.

Harry took his time, preparing his toast, expecting them to have already sat down but when he turned and saw their faces, he frowned.

"Are you guys alright?" he asked cautiously as he took in their appearance.

Both new comers were respectively clad in a nightgown and pajamas with a thin housecoat over it. Their hair stuck out at odd angles and dark bags under their wide eyes stood out against pale skin.

When Hermione heard Harry's question, she quickly shut her mouth and nudged her husband in the ribs. "Of c-course, Harry. Why would you ask that?"

Harry started ticking off with his fingers. "First of all, you guys look like shit- no offence. Secondly, you guys have been staring at me like you've seen a ghost and thirdly, Hermione _never_ sleeps in."

Hermione blushed and tried to make herself more presentable while Ron blinked.

"Sorry, Harry." Hermione said with a sweet smile. "Jo kept me up again."

Harry's face softened at the mention of his goddaughter. "How is Jo anyways? I feel like I haven't seen her in years." He sat at the table to eat and Ron followed suit while Hermione made some tea. "Oh, she's fine." She said dismissively.

"So…Harry?" Ron said slowly, his eyes fixed on Harry. "Are you alright?"

Harry looked up and frowned. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

There was a pregnant silence: Ron and Hermione glanced nervously at each other and Harry was getting irritated by the moment.

"What's your problem?" he snapped at them and then turned to Hermione. "I know Ron was supposed to be home early but we got carried away okay?" When Hermione frowned, he continued quickly. "Blame me: I didn't think you would mind and I'm pretty sure I passed out at the eighth bottle."

Ron raised a red eyebrow. "What are you talking about, mate?"

Harry groaned tiredly. "Last night? The drinking contest in the Three Broomsticks." He said matter-of-factly.

Hermione gasped and Ron stood up quickly, knocking over his stool in the process.

Harry looked between the two stunned faces and frowned. "Was that a sore topic?"

Ron was about to answer but the door swung open again and to Harry's surprise; Lucius and Draco Malfoy _strolled_ into _his_ kitchen.

As fast as lightning, Harry's wand was out. "_Accio_ wands!"

Lucius and Draco's wand flew out of their pockets and into Harry's waiting hand.

Harry got up slowly, his wand still pointed at the pair. "What the fuck do you want, Malfoy?" he growled to both of them, standing protectively in front of Hermione.

"Harry?" Draco said, taking a step forward but Lucius put a hand on his shoulder, silently advising his son to stay put.

"Do you think yourselves so infallible that you would walk into _my _kitchen like you own the place?" Harry almost frowned when a look crossed Draco's face. _Was that hurt? _He shook his head free of sympathy and tightened his grip on the wand. "Now, I'll ask you one more time: what the…"

"I invited them!" Hermione burst out suddenly, causing the whole room to stare at her but Harry's gazed remained fixed on The Malfoys.

"Why?" He asked slowly, obviously battling with his anger.

"I needed to talk to them about some… business." Hermione said cautiously.

"You know I don't mind entertaining your friends, Hermione but these _guests_ of yours have me a bit jumpy." Harry wanted to scream and shout at her woman he had come to love over their years in Hogwarts but he also knew that Hermione was smart and would have a valid reason for speaking to _The Malfoys_.

Harry straightened from his defensive stance but his wand was still pointed at them. "I don't want you alone with them."

"Ron will be with me, I promise." She reassured.

Harry nodded and stood aside, eyes still fixed on the former Death Eaters. "You owe me an explanation and I'm keeping your wands until you leave."

"Fair enough." Both Lucius and Hermione chorused.

Harry watched as Hermione and Lucius walked out of the kitchen, while Ron had to push Draco along. Once the door was closed, he sat down again and continued his meal, his mind swarming with questions.

_What does Hermione have to do with the Malfoys? Does Ron know about this? Why did Draco look so…_

He was snapped out of his reverie when he heard a tapping on the window. He stood up and let in his brown, Barn owl, Kari.

"Hello beautiful." He said to the owl with a smile.

Kari hooted excitedly and rubbed its head against Harry's arm like a cat.

"Nice to see you too, girl." He relieved her of her bundle and gave her a few owl treats. There were some letters addressed to Sirius and Remus, some brochures and the Daily Prophet newspaper.

After skimming through the first page, harry heard Sirius' raised voice and smiled. _At least __**someone**__ cares about Death Eaters strolling through the house._ He started bringing out teacups to set some tea out for his godfather and friends when something caught his eye: the calendar read, April 4, 2008.

Harry frowned and checked the spell that made the calendar update itself: everything was in order. _That cannot be right_.

He looked at the newspaper: April 4, 2008.

He looked at the digital clock that hung above the door: April 4, 2008.

Panicking, he ran upstairs and checked the calendar in his room: April 4, 2008.

He checked the calendar on all floors and each one read: April 4, 2008.

_No, No it can't be_. The room spun violently and harry swayed a little but got himself together. He marched down the stairs and pushed the doors to the study so hard, it banged against the wall.

Sirius was glaring at Lucius, Draco sat on the couch with Hermione patting his back while Ron and Remus were by the fireplace, staring absently into the roaring embers. They all turned when he entered the room but remained silent.

"What's today's date?" he asked frantically.

No one spoke but a few of them shifted uncomfortably.

"I said, what's today's date?" he asked a bit calmly this time, his anger just below the surface.

"Harry, I…" Sirius started.

"What the hell is today's date!" he yelled.

Sirius sighed. "April 4, 2008."

Harry's mouth hung open for a moment and then he cocked his head curiously to the side. "No, it's October 13, 2006."

They all just stared at Harry and he could practically see pity ooze off them.

He growled and pulled out his wand, pointing it at Lucius. "It was you, wasn't it?" he snarled at him.

When Draco got up, Harry sent a spell his way, leaving him tied up on the floor.

He brought his wand back to Lucius. "ANSWER ME!" He yelled shaking slightly. "You don't think you've screwed my life up enough and now I can't even remember the past year!"

Lucius shifted nervously, eyes fixed on the wand. "Harry, please put down the wand." He said calmly.

Harry started a little as glimpses of Lucius saying the same thing to Harry, in the same room with Harry's wand pointed at him, as it was now. He swayed again but when Lucius moved to help him, he glared at the man and held tight to the wand, stopping him in his pace.

"I grow impatient, Malfoy." He snarled and took a menacing step towards him. "Tell me what you…" he trailed off as the telltale yellow of a sleeping spell hit him.

Harry slumped forward and Lucius managed to catch him, wand forgotten on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Hermione said, shaking with her wand in hand. "He was really going to hex Lucius and I panicked."

"It's alright 'Mione." Sirius reassured.

He reached for his godson but when Lucius tightened his hold, he sent a glare his way, causing the man to release him. Sirius picked up his godson, his lightness startling him a bit, before he turned to Lucius and a now unbound Draco.

"I don't want any of you coming near him _ever_ again: I didn't like it then and I'm sure as hell pissed off now." Remus opened his mouth to talk but Sirius beat him to it. "If I ever see any of your sorry faces again, _you'll be sorry_." With that, he carried Harry up to his room with Remus in tow.

Silence again but this time it stretched on until Hermione spoke.

"Don't worry: Sirius is just a bit angry and guilty about what happened." She said softly. "Give him some time to cool down then both of you could talk."

Lucius nodded but Draco just let out a strangled cry and disapparated.

Oooooohhhh…..rada-rada… Don't you just love cliff hangers? Anyways, I'll post the next chapter ASAP: I may be on a break but that doesn't mean I don't have work to do… *sigh* the irony.


	2. Chapter 3

_Hey guys, sorry for the late update: I had a lot of work to do and I still do. I tried to update the author's note but I don't know what's up with the site... anyway, I would like to remind or inform (for those who didn't read the author's note) that I may post new chapters at irregular intervals- it may be months before I update the story but not to worry, it __**will**__ be finished._

_This story may follow parts of the plot in the HP books but it does not follow the exact timeline, so do not get all critical on me. _

_In this story, Sirius and Remus are alive but Narcissa and Ginny are dead... I was thinking of killing off Severus as well but I'm not sure._

_Secondly, I would like to thank Pomme d'Happy for his/ her review- keep it up!_

**GENERAL DISCLAIMER** (do not expect me to post another): I do not own Harry Potter... unfortunately it is owned by JKR... *sigh* some people just can't get a break.

**Warning:** this chapter contains giggles, Neville, swearing and inner battles.

CHAPTER 2: THE TRUCE

**October 2006 (A year and three months ago)**

Harry, Ron and Neville were giggling messes as they returned from the Three Broomsticks; they held and leaned on each other as they stumbled through the threshold of Number 12, Grimmuald Place. Neville had just gotten a job as a Potions Master in St. Mungos and the trio were out with other friends to celebrate his success.

Harry, being a bit more sober, tried to shush them, as the others' giggling grew louder. "Seriously guys, it two in the morning." He admonished. "Remus and Sirius are probably asleep."

Ron smirked and wagged his eyebrows. "If they ever sleep at all that is." He tried to whisper, earning a chuckle from Neville.

Harry rolled his eyes, "You're lucky you have child, otherwise I would have kicked your smart arse." Harry growled than groaned. "Oh fuck, I'm supposed to have you back by eleven: Hermione is going to have my head."

"Lighten up, harry." Neville said. "It's a celebration and I don't think she'll mind much."

Harry nodded, askance and led them through the hallway. He was about to start for the stairs when he saw a flash of warm yellow light peak from under the door to the study; He frowned and made his way to it carefully.

"You guys go on ahead." He said to Ron and Neville, who obeyed with dazed smiles.

Sensing danger, he thrust his hand into his cloak casually and gripped his wand as he opened the door.

He smiled when he saw Sirius leaning against the window but it quickly disappeared when he saw Lucius and Draco Malfoy on the couch.

Instinctively, he drew his wand and pointed it at the blonde pair but faltered a bit when he asked himself_, Why isn't Sirius on the defensive? There are bloody Death Eaters in the living room and he isn't even flinching!_

Sirius sighed. "I told you he wouldn't take it well." He said matter-of-factly.

"Sirius?" Harry asked.

Draco shifted nervously.

Lucius' eyes were fixed on the wand: he had his usual air of authority. "Harry, please put down the wand."

If Harry started, nobody noticed. _Did he just call me Harry? No! Don't give in! It's a trick!_

Harry ignored Lucius and glared at his godfather. "What the hell is going on?" he hissed. "I'm out for one night and I come back to a house full of Death Eaters."

"_Former_ Death Eaters." Lucius piped earning a glare from Harry.

"Don't care." Harry replied in a singsong manner. "Why the hell are you both here?"

"They proposed a truce." Sirius said.

Harry stood still for a moment, allowing the words to sink in. "Why?" he finally said. All the while, he never lowered his wand.

"Because we're sorry?" Lucius said, smirking.

Harry narrowed his eyes dangerously, daring the man to make another smart remark.

Lucius sighed. "Because we're tired of fighting and hiding; we just want to make peace with your family and move on with our lives." He said. "We have lost so much and gained so little, the least we can do is try and salvage what we can, while we can."

Harry was taken aback; his eyes switched from Lucius to Draco whose eyes bore into his father. It was obviously surprising for Lucius to be so humble.

"Sirius, may I talk to you outside?" Harry said, lowering his wand.

Sirius nodded and followed Harry into the kitchen across the hall. The moment the doors closed, Harry spoke. "I don't like this...I don't like this at all." He confessed as he paced.

Sirius hummed. "I'm a bit sceptic as well but I sense no deception."

"Does Remus know?" Harry asked.

The older man nodded. "He is doubtful as well but is willing to try."

***A/N: a little inner battle is coming up (the italics are Harry's thought and the bold are his conscience).**

Harry bit his lower lip and frowned. _This could be a trick, a lie, an ambush! __**But he sounded so...**__ No! I can't!...__**But I can tell he meant it**__...Stop it, conscience! Malfoys never give, they take!...__**The war took Draco's mother from him, he could use some peace right now...**__ The war took from everyone!... __**So you know how it feels to lose Ginny... It's been three years, Harry... Be the better man...**_

Harry growled after the inner battle, he hated when his conscience was right. He could practically see a tiny 'Angel Harry' smirking at him.

"Do you think we should give them a chance?" he asked glancing at Sirius.

Sirius nodded. "Everyone deserves a second chance, no matter what they've done. It's in the past."

"This will take some getting used to and a lot of vigilance." Harry sighed. "Let's go make a truce then." He said strolling to the study.

The Malfoys stood up as Harry and Sirius entered the room. Both pairs stared at each other for a while before Harry stepped forward and extended his now empty hand. Lucius stared down at it as if he did not know what to do.

"I understand how you feel." Harry said, startling the man. "Wanting to escape the past and move on without any title to your name. I respect your decision to make peace: you have our forgiveness and comradeship."

Lucius blinked, and then smiled. "Thank you, Harry." He said, taking the boy's hand and shaking it.

Harry, though hesitantly, smiled back. "No problem." He said.

He could not shake the feeling that something monumental was going to happen soon.

**Present Day**

"I think we can get him back." Hermione said to Ron and Lucius who were seated while Draco paced by the window in The Weasely's kitchen.

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "How?"

Hermione cleared her throat. "From what I have observed, Harry does not remember anything after the moment he met you." She said professionally. "It's his mind's way of protecting itself; if harry were to remember all that happened, he may go back into a coma."

"So you don't want him to remember!" Draco growled.

"No." Hermione said evenly. "I don't want you to _make_ him remember- if you want Harry to make a full recovery, he must remember on his own, at his mind's pace."

Ron and Lucius nodded but Draco snorted. "How can we even win him back after all he's been through and Sirius has practically marked us as prey?" He asked.

"If Harry fell in love with you before, he will fall in love with you again." Ron said. "I talked to Sirius: I personally don't think that Harry should know where the puzzle piece goes but not _have_ the puzzle piece itself."

Draco stared at the redhead for a moment and then smirked. "You spend too much time with Hermione."

"Hey!" Both Ron and Hermione protested.

"So may we see Harry?" Lucius asked cautiously.

"Yes and no." Ron said with a sigh. "You may see Harry _only_ when he wants to see you but other times, you and Draco are banned from Grimmuald Place."

Lucius smiled sadly. "Well, at least it's something."

Hermione rubbed Lucius' shoulder. "We have a saying back in the muggle world: if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, then it's yours. If it doesn't, then it never was."

The room was silent: Ron beamed proudly at his wife while Lucius and Draco allowed the words to sink in. They both knew the rewards and consequences if fate decided to swing in either of their favour.

Draco strolled up to his father and put out his hand. "May the best man win." He said.

Lucius nodded and shook the hand.

_Harry please don't forget us._ They both thought grimly.

_**A/N:**__ Another cliff-hanger... yes, I'm evil, thank you for noticing. Anyway, I will post the next chapter ASAP but I must warn you, I have a test and several assignments due so you may have to wait a while. _

_Leave reviews; good, bad, funny...I do not care. You could even leave an idea or two if you want. Mail me if you ever get confused with the story._


	3. Chapter 4

_Hello again. Unfortunately, this chapter is a bit shorter than the last, so bear with me._

**Warning:** this chapter contains newspapers (again), red silk and invisibility.

CHAPTER 3: ACCEPTANCE

**Present Day**

Harry sat up quickly on his bed gasping for air; the events of the Malfoy-Potter truce had replayed repeatedly in his head. He looked around confused as to how he got to bed, when he saw Sirius and Remus watching him with a sad smile.

"Hey, cub." Sirius greeted. "How are you feeling?"

Harry raised a brow as the day's events flashed in his mind and then he asked, "What happened, Sirius?" He swung his legs over the edge, allowing Remus to sit beside him. "I can't remember a thing from the past year."

"Amnesia." Sirius dug a newspaper out of his jacket and handed it to Harry. "This may make you understand."

_**MALFOY RESCUES POTTER: THE IRONY**_

_It was reported that former Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy rescued Harry Potter: The-Boy-Who-Lived from a mugging in the muggle world on Tuesday._

_The saviour of the Wizarding World was out for a stroll when he was attacked by a group of muggle thugs, sustaining serious injuries. Luckily, Lucius Malfoy happened to be on that path and managed to save Potter before it got worse._

_An informer at St. Mungos said that Mr. Potter has a concussion and is currently unconscious but recovery is expected and highly likely._

_Continuation on page 3. _

"This happened September, 2007." Harry stared down at the paper in shock. "Are you saying that my concussion caused my amnesia?" he asked carefully.

Remus and Sirius gave each other concerned looks. "Partly, yes." Remus said.

"Partly?" Harry said with a frown.

"Well, there were other events that contributed to your amnesia, Harry." Remus explained while Sirius shifted nervously. "But Hermione said that to make a full recovery you have to remember the events on your own."

Harry did not know whether to be angry or relieved; he was, eventually going to get his memories back but the two men in front of him had all the information he needed. However, Harry knew better than to go against his best friend AKA the Wizarding World's best Medi-witch's wishes.

"Was I drunk?" Harry asked.

Remus shook his head. "You were angry and forgot your wand."

Harry sat in silence and allowed the words to sink in.

"I remember the truce." Harry said lowly, causing Sirius to snap his lowered head up. "The truce we made with the Malfoys: I remember that day."

Sirius smiled. "Then that means you will remember the rest in no time."

Harry smiled back and stood up to stretch. "How long have I been asleep?" he asked with a yawn.

"Seven hours." Remus supplied.

Harry looked at the clock and sighed. "I guess that means The Malfoys has gone home." He said regretfully.

Sirius frowned. "Do you want to speak to them?"

Harry nodded. "I want to apologise for today." He scratched his head sheepishly. "It's not every time you wake up and see _The Malfoys_ in your kitchen."

Remus and Sirius laughed.

"No, I guess not." Remus concurred. "Why don't you take a bath and get dressed while I make you dinner."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's ok I'll make it- I have to strengthen my legs."

Sirius shrugged and hugged him. "Goodnight, cub. Sleep tight." With that, Remus and Sirius exited the room.

**An hour later**, harry was dressed in red silk pyjamas and slippers. His dark hair, as usual, stuck out at odd angles and his glasses kept sliding down his partially wet temples.

He made himself a cup of tea and toast, sat in the kitchen and read piled up newspapers from the past months to get his bearings and understand the world that had changed in his 'absence'. He felt like Rip Van Winkle, the man who slept for twenty years, only to wake up and see a place different from the last time he saw it.

_At least I have it easy._ Harry thought to himself. _The poor bloke woke up to find his wife and friends dead._

He was startled by some footsteps in the hallway and soon a robed figure appeared in the doorway.

"Malfoy?" Harry whispered, standing up.

Lucius smiled sweetly. "Hello, Harry."

They stood staring at each other in silent appreciation: the pain, joy and secrets in Lucius' grey-blue eyes seemed to pull Harry in and make his stomach twist.

"I'm sorry for this morn... er, afternoon." Harry said finally. "My apologies to Draco as well."

Lucius shook his head and took an unconscious step towards Harry. "Not at all." He said calmly.

Silence again.

"I remember the truce we made." Harry said proudly.

"Oh?" Lucius cocked his head.

"Yeah." Harry replied and gave a sheepish smile. "I guess I was shocked into it."

"No worries." Lucius took another step towards Harry. "I'm sure in no time, we will have the Harry we have all grown to _love_."

Harry blushed- _why am I blushing?_- and cleared his throat. "What are you doing here, did you forget something?"

Lucius shook his head. "No but you did." He pulled out an object from his robes.

"My wand." Harry smiled and reached to take it but the smile disappeared as his and Lucius' hand brushed against each other.

A spark; a small spark that seemed to set his heart and mind racing. His body tingled with a sensation that screamed and yearned for more as if it had been deprived of it. That was all it took to make Harry gasp and turn an alarming shade of red.

Lucius frowned. "Harry, are you alright?" he asked and placed his palm on Harry's forehead, making the young man blush more.

"I'm fine." Harry replied quickly and stepping away from the man's hands. "Goodnight." He hurried out the door, forgetting his wand once again.

**Three hours later**, Harry was curled under a blanket and asleep yet again. He did not hear the invisible figure that crept into his room and shut the door silently. He also did not notice as the visitor's cool fingers ran across his cheek.

Harry sighed against the touch. "Lucius." He murmured, turning to his side.

_Soon, Harry. I promise you, soon._ The figure smiled sadly and then leaned down to press a soft kiss to a pallor cheek.

"Goodnight, Harry." He whispered and quickly crept out the door.

The only evidence of his visit; Harry's wand neatly placed beside his glasses.

_**A/N:**__ a lot emotions flying, huh? I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed, I promise to try better next time. Don't forget to leave reviews (preferably a constructive kind)._


	4. Chapter 5

_I'm back: sorry it took a while but as I said, I'm a VERY busy person and probably won't be able to update for a while after this one… I would love to thank those who have been waiting steadfastly for this chapter and for your encouragement._

**Warning**: this chapter contains lunch, a (very annoying) house elf, swearing and snuggling.

CHAPTER 4: THE STUDY

It had been a month since Harry remembered the Potter-Malfoy Truce; it took a while for Harry to adjust to calling Lucius by name. He had numerous dreams of Lucius and his son coming over for lunch or exchanging jokes with Remus in the study.

So far, Harry and Lucius have become good acquaintances but Harry could not help feeling a sense of tension between Sirius and The Malfoys. Whenever Harry asks about their whereabouts, Sirius would walk out of the room in a huff or change the subject immediately.

Now Harry, Sirius and Remus sat at the table eating the lunch Buggy had prepared for them. Today was a beautiful Monday afternoon and Sirius was in a good mood, so Harry decided to take a risk.

"So, Sirius." Harry started casually. "I have been meaning to ask you this for a while…"

Said man looked up from his food and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"What do you have against The Malfoys?" Harry continued.

Sirius smirked. "Other than the fact that they are good for nothing scumbags, I have nothing against them." He said coldly, making Remus cast a warning look to Sirius.

Harry frowned. _That doesn't make sense._

"Why would you say that: did you argue or something?" Harry asked.

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" Harry pressed.

"Because I don't." Sirius replied coolly.

"So now you're keeping secrets from me?" Harry asked wryly.

Sirius glared at Harry. "It's for your own good."

"I'm twenty-one years old." Harry cried. "I think I know what is and isn't good for…"

Sirius banged his fist on the table. "Why can't you get it in that stubborn head of yours that I'm trying to protect you?" He growled.

Harry stood quickly, trying to avoid his drink that spilt over the table due to his godfather's tirade.

"Protect me from what, exactly: Lucius?" Harry snarled. "I thought we made a truce with them and from what I can remember, they have done nothing to us: why are you acting like this?"

Sirius kept quiet and Remus placed his hand on his partner's.

Harry watched the gesture and cocked his head. "It related to my amnesia, isn't it?" he asked.

"Harry, drop it." Remus said.

"But…" Harry started to protest.

"_Now_." Remus tone was final.

Harry stared, startled, at the two men in front of him and then huffed.

"Fine." With that, he walked out of the dining room, grabbed his jacket and went for a walk. This time, he remembered to bring his wand.

**000**

_Stupid Sirius, stupid Remus, stupid amnesia. _Harry thought angrily to himself.

It was already nearing dusk; since the moment he left Grimmauld Place, he allowed his legs to take him where they may: he just needed time to think.

_Why can't someone just give me a bloody straight answer?_ And as if on cue, his legs stopped walking. Harry frowned at his feet and looked up, The Malfoy Manor, in all its splendor, stood in front of Harry.

Before harry could question himself, his legs started moving again; past the gate, through the garden and to the front door. His hand lifted itself to knock on the heavy wood but Harry stopped himself.

_What the fuck am I doing?_ He asked himself. _This is madness, as if Mal… Lucius will give me the answers._

He backed away and started to turn when he door opened and a house elf peered out at him.

"Master Potter is coming back." The elf said in awe.

_Master? Coming back?_ Harry was about to ask the elf but someone came along and shooed the elf away.

"Honestly, don't you know it rude to keep guest wait…" Draco trailed off when he saw Harry.

They stood staring at each other; Draco, with his out open and Harry stunned at how handsome Draco had become. Harry had not seen him since the day he hex him and from the memories he has had so far, Draco was not in many of them. Now, he felt like he was seeing the blonde for the first time.

"Uh, sorry to disturb you." Harry said lamely.

Draco seemed to snap out of his reverie. "N-no problem." He stuttered.

Harry raised a brow when a voice, which sounded strangely like Lucius', ran through his head. _Malfoys do not stutter. _

"Please come in." Draco said and stepped aside.

Harry obeyed and nodded politely to Draco. As the blonde lead him through the mansion, Harry could not help but stare in astonishment.

The foyer was wide with white marble on the floor and wall with portraits of past Malfoys and a green carpet with the Malfoy crest, lay in the middle of the room. The high ceiling was decorated with a few floral designs here and there and an exquisite chandelier hung in the middle of what Harry assumed was a ballroom.

Draco led him to a study; the room was decorated with elegant and dark, earthy pieces and colors and a roaring fire under the marble mantle, added to its appeal.

Draco gestured for him to sit. "So Harry, what are you doing here?" he asked, sitting on the table by a wide window.

"First of all, I want to apologize for what happened last month." Harry said, sitting on a loveseat.

Draco waved his hand dismissively. "It's no problem really." He said. "It was kind of a relief to see the old you again."

Harry smiled and blushed a little bit. "I also came here for answers." He said. "Where's Lucius?"

"Hey, I may not be my father but I am a great listener." Draco cried and smirked as Harry blushed again in embarrassment. "Old Siri not giving you what you need?"

Harry sighed and shook his head. "No, in fact, he's adding more questions to the list."

Harry narrated what happened in the dining room and sighed. "I know I'm supposed to remember myself but…uggh." He scrunched his face and buried it in his hands.

Draco hummed sympathetically. "I would love to help you, Harry." He said. "But Hermione gave strict orders that…"

"I know." Harry snapped a bit harsher than he intended. "Sorry: it's just… I'm so confused. Sirius was one-hundred percent for the truce and now… I feel so clueless." He finished with a sigh.

Draco laughed darkly. "Leave it to him to screw things up."

The venom in Draco's voice caused Harry to glare at the blonde. "Hey, that's my godfather you're talking about."

Draco shrugged. "So?"

Harry narrowed his eyes and stood to leave. "To think I thought you'd changed." He mumbled.

"Wait!" Draco shouted and grabbed his hand.

As their hands touched, Harry gasped as images of him and Draco laughing together surfaced in his mind. Draco, however, was oblivious to the myriad of emotions that played on Harry's face.

"I'm sorry." Draco pleaded using his other hand to grab Harry's shoulder. "Force of habit and all."

All Harry could do was nod and allow himself to be steered towards the loveseat he once occupied.

Draco frowned and sat beside Harry. "Are you okay, Harry? You look a bit pale."

Harry nodded. "I'm fine." He breathed.

"Are you sure?" Draco pressed, placing his palm on Harry's forehead just as Lucius had done a month ago.

Harry tried to protest but his mouth grew dry as Draco leaned in unconsciously. He could feel the blonde's breath on his lips. His touch set Harry's body alight but not like Lucius; he felt safe and at peace with Lucius but with Draco, he felt… alive: like hot lava running through his veins.

Draco then looked into his eyes.

_Beautiful._ They both thought as silver met emerald. His eyes travelled down to Harry's lips and back up while his hand, which was once on Harry's fore head, was now cupping his cheek.

"Harry." Draco whispered.

They got closer and Harry closed his eyes: it felt so natural. Their lips were close enough to only just brush against each other and…

"Master Draco." A house elf said, causing Draco and Harry to fly apart.

Harry touched his lips with a shaky hand and Draco gulped. _What have I done?_ He thought in dismay.

"I…I'm sorry." Harry said standing up again and starting for the door.

"No!" Draco cried and ran after him. "Please, Harry stay."

Harry continued briskly to the door, not even sparing the blonde a glance. "Thank you for your time, Draco but I'm afraid I should be heading home." With that, Harry fled leaving behind a devastated Draco Malfoy at his doorstep.

**000**

It was ten in the evening and Harry was still not home. Sirius was pacing from one side of the study to another while Remus was on the couch fidgeting with his thumbs.

"Oh, Remus." Sirius cried. "I'm worried."

"Harry is old enough to take care of himself, Sirius. I'm sure he's fine." Remus reassured Sirius as well as himself.

This was the first time Harry was out alone since the accident. So, Sirius was pretty sure he had a good reason to worry.

Sirius sighed and sat down beside his partner. "Harry hates being bossed around; so many people have controlled him for such a long time and… I feel like I am as well."

"Come here." Remus said with open arms and Sirius obeyed, climbing into his lover's lap and rested his head on the werewolf's shoulder.

"It's okay, Sirius." Remus said, rubbing Sirius' arm. "Harry will be home before you know it."

Sirius nodded and snuggled deeper into Remus' shoulder while the werewolf tightened his hold on him.

A few moments later, they heard the door open and jumped off the couch. They arrived at the door just as Harry hung his jacket back on its peg.

"Harry!" Sirius ran forward and hugged his very confused godson.

"Uh, hey, Sirius." Harry said, dumbfounded. "I missed you too?"

Sirius blinked and released Harry with a sheepish smile, causing Remus to chuckle. "Sorry, cub."

"I'm sorry too." Harry said. "About this afternoon. I was just so frustrated; I hate not knowing things."

"It's okay, son." Sirius reassured the same time Remus said, "It's understandable."

"Come on, dinner is waiting." Sirius started to lead Harry to the kitchen but said boy maneuvered gently out of his godfather's grip.

"Sorry, Siri." Harry said. "I'm not hungry."

"But you didn't finish your lunch." Remus cried.

"I got myself some food while I was out." Harry lied. _I thought you had stopped lying, Harry._ His conscious practically sang.

Harry scowled inwardly at it because, it was right…again: he had found no reason to lie since the war was over… until today.

"And I'm tired." That part was true.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look that Harry missed.

"Alright." Sirius said reluctantly. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight." Harry said and ran up the stairs to his room.

Sirius gave Remus a panicked look. "Should we call Hermione?"

Remus shook his head. "Not yet: let's observe him for a while and see what happens."

Sirius nodded albeit a nagging sensation in the back of his head: dread.

_**A/N**: Dun dun dun. What will happen next? Who knows, I may decide to kill Harry in the next chapter or I could send in a break-dancing polar bear but both are highly unlikely._

_I was thinking of maybe writing a one-shot about how Sirius and Remus hooked up. What do you think? I can't know if you don't tell me. Leave a review!_


	5. Chapter 6

_Hey again... sorry about not updating earlier and thanks for waiting for this chapter... I must warn you, my exams are around the corner so a long wait is up ahead but I __**may**__ post one or two more chapters before I __**temporarily**__ ban myself from FF... till then, enjoy! _

**Warning:** this chapter contains snow, movies (duh!), a spy, sleepovers, a head and secrets (as always).

CHAPTER 5: MOVIE NIGHT

**December 2006 (one month and a year ago)**

It took a while but Ron and Hermione were finally warming up to The Malfoys: although, Harry and Hermione could do without the cockiness and the childish banters between Ron and Draco.

Christmas was three weeks away and both Grimmuald Place and The Malfoy Manor were stunningly decorated for the holiday (thanks to the Weasleys) while snow covered the city in a white blanket.

On this evening, Harry and Draco strolled through the grounds of The Malfoy Manor, admiring how the snow enhanced the beauty of the already picturesque garden. Both young men had become good friends quickly after the truce. Though, not as close as Harry and Ron.

"So, Harry." Draco said. "What do you want for Christmas?" the blonde continued non-chalantly.

Harry pondered over this for a while and shrugged. "I don't know." He announced.

Draco stopped in his tracks. "You don't know?"

Harry stopped as well and shook his head. "I'm content, honestly."

Draco stared at the brunet, astonished. "Seriously: Is this some sort of Gryffindor Pride thing?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Alright then, Santa; what's in this Christmas?"

Draco smirked. "Have you heard of the new _Comet Chaser_?"

Harry wanted to ask, _who hasn't?_

The _Comet Chaser_ was the newest broom in the Wizarding world. It was faster and quieter than the _Nimbus 3000_, which Harry thought was impossible, until he saw a demonstration. Harry easily blended in with the throng of little boys that practically drooled over it.

Harry smiled at the memory and started walking once more. "Yeah, it's a fast broom."

"And you don't want it for Christmas?" Draco almost shouted.

Harry shrugged again. "Even if I wanted it, none of my friends are loaded enough to buy it."

"Mm-hmm." Draco hummed in agreement, although a bit hurt that Harry did not count him as a friend. "_I _could get it for you."

Harry shook his head. "Where's the surprise in that?" he cried. "Besides, I still love my old broom."

Draco scoffed. "Please, you couldn't catch an old lady with that broom."

Harry nodded. "True, but I _can_ catch a snitch, now can't I?"

Draco stopped again and turned to him. "Oh, you did not just say that."

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." Harry said with a shrug.

Suddenly, Harry found himself tackled to the ground and Draco straddled his hips and smiled triumphantly.

"Didn't see that one coming now did you?" Draco mocked.

Harry growled, pulled Draco down and rolled until he was on top of the blonde. Draco kicked and bucked, trying to throw off the brunet but when it was obvious that he was not getting up anytime soon, he stopped his struggling and relaxed.

It was Harry's turn to smirk. "And who emerges victorious again?"

Draco snarled and soon, Harry's was pelted with a handful of snow.

"You did not just do that?" Harry said with mock anger.

Draco shrugged. "Maybe I did..." Harry started floating off the blonde; startled, he turned to Draco for help, only to see Draco smiling with his arm outstretched. "And maybe I didn't."

"Let me down, Malfoy." Harry growled. _I didn't know Draco could do wandless magic._

"First of all apologise for bashing my Quidditch skills."

"Never." Harry scowled.

Draco shrugged. "Fine by me." He started to walk away.

"You'll pay for this, Malfoy!" Harry shouted but Draco continued to walk away. "Fine: I'm sorry for bashing your Quidditch _skills_."

Draco had stopped walking and slowly turned to Harry with a smug smile.

"Very good." He waved his hand again and Harry started descending. "Next time we'll work on your..." Draco did not finish his sentence because this time, he was tackled to the ground.

Once again, Harry straddled his hips. "I told you you'll pay, Malfoy."

After hours of tackling and teasing, they lapsed into a friendly silence and lay in the snow but soon it got dark and colder, so both of them decided to head back into the warm mansion.

Harry was staying over at the manor to keep the blonde company in the absence of his father. Although, Draco insisted that he was fine, Harry could not bear thinking of Draco alone in that huge mansion.

After dinner and a shower, Harry came into Draco's room carrying a DVD player with a few movies while a small television floated after him.

"What in Merlin's name is that?" Draco asked, his eyes wide.

Harry laughed. "It's called a DVD player: it's a muggle invention." He put down the contraption and turned to the blonde. "We are going to watch a movie today."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You're joking, right?"

Harry gave an animated shake of his head and smiled. "No I'm not and you are going to help me set this up."

Draco laughed at that. "And how- _Boy Wonder_- are we going to do that?"

Harry scowled inwardly at the nickname. "With faith, trust and pixie dust!" He proclaimed.

Draco was all out of pixie dust, so all they had left was faith and trust: which really didn't help much with setting up the DVD player and connecting it to the television. However, the set was working after hours of cussing, sweating and crying (well, mostly two of them anyways).

They sat on Draco's bed and watched as the adverts on the first movie rolled by.

"Wow." Draco said in awe. "I have to get myself one of these _EVDs _for Christmas: this movie was amazing."

Harry laughed. "First of all, it's called _DVDs_ and the movie hasn't even started yet."

Draco's eyes widened and he leaned forward. "There's more?"

Six hours, three comedies and seven buckets of popcorn later, Harry and Draco were sprawled out and asleep on Draco's bed; after numerous shifting and stirring, Harry's head accidentally rested on Draco's shoulder, while Draco unconsciously wrapped his arm around Harry's waist.

Unbeknownst to them, a tall, dark figure loomed over the sleeping pair. He smiled at the sight of the brunet sleeping peacefully and then sent a glare to the equally peaceful blonde.

Blue eyes burned with rage, betrayal and jealousy and teeth were clenched shut to stifle any rebel outburst.

_Game on_. The figure thought dangerously, as he continued to glare at Draco. He then turned swiftly and walked quietly out of the room.

**Present Day**

"I warned you before and I'll warn you again, Lucius." A disembodied head in the fireplace said. "Stay away from Potter: you didn't listen to me last time and now look at the mess you're in."

Lucius Malfoy sat by the fireplace with a glass of wine, scowling at the head.

"Yes, I agree I am in _quite_ a predicament but don't forget that before all this..." he gestured to the space in front of him. "... I was the happiest man alive."

The head in the green embers smirked. "Please, you wouldn't know happiness if it _Kedavra_'d you... twice."

"I'm going to get Harry back." Lucius proclaimed. "Even if I have to tear up the Wizarding world for him, I'll do it and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it."

"And by anyone, you mean Draco." The head said matter-of-factly. "You're so desperate; you'd sabotage your own son's chances with the boy just so you can have him back."

"And it worked." Lucius smiled. _House Elves __**aren't **__all that useless._ "I am a Slytherin after all."

"Yes and so is Draco: he _will_ fight fire with fire as long as he gets what he wants." The head cautioned.

"I handled him before and I will handle him again." Lucius stated. "I _do_ have an advantage after all."

"This is the most childish and dim-witted thing you have done." The head said hotly. "Forfeit this Lucius or you'll regret it."

"No, I won't!" Lucius shouted and then took a calm breathe. "You know me well enough that I wouldn't do something like this if I didn't gain from it somehow; I have to try."

The head gave Lucius a look and sighed. "I hope you have the heart of a Gryffindor, Malfoy." It stated. "Because I know either way, someone's heart is going to be broken."

Lucius smiled: he knew what that answer meant. "Thank you, Severus."

"Don't: by supporting you, I'm betraying my godson." Severus glared at the blonde.

"Someone is becoming a Hufflepuff." Lucius joked. "Besides, I don't need to intervene; sooner or later, Harry is going to remember me... and then we'll be together again." He finished quietly.

Severus kept quiet. As much as he wanted to comment, the look of desperation on the blonde's beautiful face could almost make Voldemort's heart melt. Almost...that is if he _did_ have a heart.

"You know, you never did tell me why you don't want Harry and I to be together." Lucius mused.

"I did." Severus drawled. "He is pretentious, rebellious, conceited, not to mention..."

"Not that, Severus." Lucius interrupted. "I mean the _real_ reason why and I know you know what I'm talking about."

Severus blinked his eyes lazily and smirked. "I may be your _friend_, Lucius but that does not mean that I have to explain myself to you." With that, the head disappeared and the flames faded into its usual hue.

_**A/N:**__ Sorry, this chapter is a bit short. But hey, who is the spy? What will happen next? How much popcorn can a person eat (I mean, seriously)? Anyone with the answers? Review please!_


	6. Chapter 7

_Hey, hey, hey! I'm back; so much crap has been going on lately so I wasn't able to update sooner... sorry about that. I have realised that no one has reviewed for a while; I mean, as much as I appreciate all the favourite story alerts and all, I would really appreciate a review...even if it's just a few constructive words...I'm writing to improve my skills and entertain you- how will I know when you're getting bored if you don't state it. Please, please, please review! Thank you._

**Warning**: this chapter contains a teary Sirius, Hermione and her daughter, Jo, a very angry and cussing Draco and a frustrated Lucius.

CHAPTER 6: THE DRAWER, THE TANTRUM AND THE TALK

**Present Day (May 2008)**

Harry woke and frowned, confused about his latest dream. _Me and Draco- good friends, watching movies._ He would have laughed if it did not feel so real.

Harry got up and paced to the bathroom to relieve himself. _It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the almost kiss._ He groaned at the thought of that. _How would Draco even talk to me again? And since when was I..._

A knock on his door snapped him out of his reverie. "Coming!" he called and sauntered to the door.

Sirius stood there with his wolfy smile. "Hey, cub!" His smile widened. "You feeling better today?" he asked.

Harry could not help but smile. "Yup, I was just really tired last night."

Sirius then narrowed his eyes, walked into Harry's room, and closed the door, forcing the brunet to back away.

"You are not telling me something." He said plainly.

_Damn him and his dog senses._ Harry growled inwardly.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Harry said casually.

Sirius folded his arms. "Where did you go last night?"

Harry shrugged. "For a walk."

"Then why did you have Malfoy's scent all over you last night?" He did not say it as a question.

"I went for a visit." Harry said. "Why are you asking me all these questions?"

Sirius regarded Harry for a while and sighed. He unfolded his arms and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Because I worry, Harry." He admitted. "I wasn't there last time you got hurt and..." he trailed off.

"I know, I know." Harry assured. "Don't worry, last time I was just careless. I won't make the same mistake twice and when I find those thugs, they're going to pay."

Sirius laughed. "That's the spirit."

Harry laughed as well. "Besides the whole interrogation, is there something you wanted to tell me?"

Sirius rubbed his chin for a moment in thought and then snapped his fingers. "Oh, yes. Hermione is here to see you." He said. "She wants to know how you're recovering?"

Harry nodded. "I'll be right down." Sirius smiled and started to leave but Harry quickly grabbed his arm. "Sirius, am I..." he stopped himself.

If he asked, he knew Sirius was obviously going to say, "You must remember by yourself" or something philosophical, which Harry did not have time for this morning.

Sirius stood waiting. "Are you what, Harry?"

Harry shook his head. "Nothing. I just remembered the answer." He lied..._again._

Sirius smiled widened. "Nice to see you're remembering." Then his expression grew grim. "Know that I'm always here for you, Harry. _No matter what_."

Harry scoffed. "Please, it would take a lot to get rid of me." He joked.

Sirius smiled half-heartedly, his eyes glazed over and he silently walked out of the room leaving a very confused Harry behind.

A change of clothes and a brushed set of teeth later, Harry started for the living room still a bit worried about Sirius. Hermione sat on the couch with a cup of tea in her hands; her brown hair (which was now fairly tamed) was in a loose bun and her impeccably white Medi-witch robes make her milky skin look tan.

"Uncle Harry!" a tiny little girl with wild red hair screamed and ran for him.

Harry scooped up his goddaughter and showered her with kisses. "And how is my little Joey?" he asked his goddaughter.

"I'm fine." She squealed. "Are you okay now, Uncle Harry? Mama says you were sleeping. You must have been really tired because you missed my fifth birthday."

Harry felt a pang of guilt but hid it with an exaggerated gasp. "Really? You're five." He raised up four fingers.

Jo giggled. "That's not five, Uncle Harry." She then gently raised his thumb. "_That's_ five."

"Oooh, it's seems that we have a Ravenclaw in our midst." He then started tickling her and she giggled, screamed, and squirmed. "Take that you smart witch, you."

"Now children, that's enough." Hermione said with a laugh.

"But mom." Jo whined the same time Harry said. "But Hermione."

Hermione shook her head as Harry put down the little red head.

"Hello Hermione." Harry hugged the woman tightly, as did she.

"Hello, Harry." She pulled back and examined his face. "It seems that you're putting on weight- very good but don't overdo it."

Harry laughed and they both sat down on the couch while Jo was chasing a golden butterfly that Harry had spelled silently.

"So Harry, do you have anything you want to talk about?" Hermione continued professionally. "Any memories coming back? Any questions who want to ask?"

"I'm fine physically but I do have questions for you?" Hermione waited patiently as he narrated his visit with Draco and his dream. By the time he was finished, Jo was nestled in Harry's lap, sleeping peacefully.

"So my biggest question is..." Harry swallowed. "Do I, you know..." he trailed off. _So much for Gryffindor bravery._

"Like guys?" Hermione asked, amused at Harry's uneasiness. "Well, only you can answer that question Harry."

Harry nodded. "But as for you and Draco..." Hermione continued. "You were close friends. At first, I could not believe you had become friends in such a short time but then again, you guys spied on each other on a daily basis in Hogwarts."

Harry flushed. "I did not spy on Draco on a daily basis."

"Hmph, yeah right." Harry growled and Hermione held up her hand in surrender. "Fine, maybe not on a daily basis but you still spied on him."

"So what I'm I going to do about Draco?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed and squeezed his hand. "Do what you think is right."

A few more tests were done and soon Hermione flooed away with Jo

**000**

Two hours and a bath later, Harry was dressed in a dark jeans, grey T-shirt and black sneakers. He grabbed his jacket and was about to leave before he scrambled back to the study and left a note for Sirius that said where he was going. He still could not get Sirius' sad eyes out of his mind and it felt his heart twist when he thought about what he must have gone through when he was in a coma.

He headed out of Grimmuald Place and start towards the Malfoy Manor to meet his demise. _Might as well take it like a man. _He thought grimly.

He was rehearsing his 'I'm sorry' speech when he reached the iron gates. The sharp barbs atop it seemed to bend to towards him, as if ready to run itself through his torso at any moment. This spurred him to move; past the past, though the grounds and to the front door again.

He stood at the door a moment, inhaled deeply and raised his hand to knock. The same house elf that opened the door last time, answered.

"Master Potter." It said.

"Uh, hey. Is Draco around?" he asked.

"Master Draco is upstairs. Gemmy is calling him for you, please come in." The house elf, Gemmy, led Harry into the manor and unfortunately for Harry to the same study.

As the house elf fetched Draco, Harry explored the study and ran his fingers along the beautiful wooden table. The admired the carpet and then smiled when he sat to study Lucius' portrait that hung over the fireplace before slowly dozing off.

_You'll have your own portrait one day._ Lucius voice ran through his head again. Harry got up and looked around. The man's voice sounded so clear. _But don't you want one now?_ He heard a voice again but this time it was his own and soon his head was swimming with images of himself taking a picture and then smiling for a camera. _There, now you can have me wherever you go. _His voice said again.

The room started spinning but something whispered to him. The_ second drawer on the left in the wooden desk._

He tried to ignore it but the pull got stronger and soon, Harry was swaying towards the table. He gripped its edge and slowly pulled the handle of the said drawer- locked.

_Check the drawer_! _Do it!_

"It's locked." Harry breathed, trying to placate the voice in his head. The room was spinning again and his head throbbed in pain.

_Some Gryffindor you are- you're not trying hard enough. __**Check it!**_ The voice hissed hotly but quietly.

"Please stop it!" He tried to scream but it came out as a whisper.

_All the answers you want are in that drawer, Harry Potter. _The voice informed. _You shall meet a crossroad soon; the path you chose will break a snake, the path you choose could kill a snake, the path you chose will start a new path._

Harry tried to say, "What are you saying." But he had lost his will to speak.

_Choose wisely, choose bravely._ The voice faded out and soon Harry felt himself falling into an eternal darkness and then he felt a pull at the pit of his stomach like a portkey.

"Harry? Harry?" someone said shaking his arm.

Harry opened an eye slowly and saw Draco leaning over him with a worried look on his face.

"Hey." Harry said hoarsely. He looked around to get his bearing and found himself curled against an armrest of the loveseat. "I guess I fell asleep, sorry." He continued sheepishly.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Must you apologise for everything?" He smirked and strolled to his desk, sitting as he did last time. "So what do you need?"

Harry sat up and licked his lips. "I came to apologise: I'm sorry about yesterday." Harry said in one breath. "I don't know what came over me."

Draco frowned and raised an eyebrow. "You mean, you don't know that..." He stopped himself before he could finish.

"Don't know what?" Harry asked but Draco just pretended to tend to his nails.

"It's nothing." Draco said dismissively, his face contorting into an ugly scowl.

Harry observed the blonde for a while: he wanted a lot of things right now but getting answers was his priority. Hermione's rule: that was the only thing standing in his way. He could wait, it _will _come to him but patience was never Harry's forte.

No, Harry's priority right now was Draco's forgiveness. He stood up, his head bowed.

"Like I said, I'm sorry Draco for what I..."

"You're sorry: You fucking Gryffindors are so fucking selfish." Draco snapped, startling Harry and cutting him off. "You think you know what you're doing, you think it's for my own good but you can never see the big picture, can you? Lie to yourself for all I care."

"D-Draco, I really am sor..."

"SHUT UP!" Draco roared and a vase that sat at the corner of the room shattered.

Harry stood still and waited silently for Draco to calm down. He had never ever seen the infallible Draco Malfoy so enraged.

After a few minutes of breathing exercises, Draco spoke so quietly, Harry could barely hear him. "Get out."

Harry looked up. "Excuse me?"

Draco's back was turned to him, his shoulder were squared and he was still breathing deeply. "I said, get out." He said louder.

Harry could feel his eyes prickle a bit. "I understand."

Draco laughed at that statement but it was not the laugh Harry had heard in his dreams, this one was bitter. "You'll never understand, Harry." He said. "As long as you can't remember, you will never understand the suffering I'm going through."

"I could help." Harry said automatically.

Draco laughed again. "There is only one way you can help me." He said. "I have the tools you need but if I give them to you, my suffering would be torture."

Harry felt helpless. "But I could..."

"Just go, Harry." Draco cut him off again.

Draco's voice sounded so dead and so defeated, Harry could not help but shudder a bit. He felt his heart ache as he slowly backed out of the study and ran out the door.

**000**

A week later, Harry was in his room thinking about Draco. He did not eat the day he came home for the Malfoy Manor and he hardly ate the next day. His nights were full of dreams of him and Draco doing one crazy thing after another, leaving him smiling in his sleep.

That afternoon, he sat by the window of his room. _Maybe I should apologise again... no, I don't think that's a good idea... I hope Draco's alright..._

As if on cue, there was a knock at his door and Harry groaned. As much as he loved Sirius, he really wished his godfather would stop checking on him every two hours (Harry had counted).

"Sirius I'm fine really." He opened the door only to be shoved back in and a cloaked figure quickly shut the door.

"Jeez, Harry ever heard of being quiet." The visitor admonished quietly.

"Draco?" Harry said in awe.

"Who else would it be?" Draco dropped his cloak on Harry's bed and looked at the brunet.

"I... I never thought you'd come." Harry said quietly.

There was an awkward silence.

"Look, Harry... about last week... I was just a bit angry and things got out of hand." Draco said and took a step closer. "Please, Harry I'm sorry."

Harry stared at the blonde. _Does this mean he forgives me?_ "I'll accept your apology if you accept mine." Harry said.

Draco laughed his sweet laugh that Harry remembered.

"How very Slytherin of you." Draco said and extended his hand. "It's a deal." They shook hands firmly.

"Speaking of being Slytherin..."Harry started he jumped on his bed and lay back against the pillows. "Why are you sneaking around Grimmuald Place?"

Draco frowned. "You mean, they never told you?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Never told me what? And don't say 'it's nothing' because I've had just enough of that."

Draco sighed in defeat. "Sirius banned my father and I from Grimmuald Place."

Harry cocked his head. "Why? Did they fight or something?"

Draco smiled. "Now _you'll_ have to remember the answer to that question."

Harry pouted for a while and then smiled. "Can you at least tell me what is in the second drawer to the left of your desk?"

Draco froze. "What?" He asked.

"I said..."

Draco waved his hand impatiently, cutting Harry off again. "How do you know about the drawer?"

"Oh, I'm remembering." Harry beamed. "I remember our first movie night in your room."

Draco laughed. "Those were good times."

"It still can be, you know." Harry said and then he sat up quickly. "How about I come over for movie night today since you're all alone again." He finished with a pout.

"I don't know..." Draco started.

"Great, it's settled. I'll pack my bags and tell Sirius." Harry said scrambling off the bed and to his wardrobe.

"I never said yes, Potter." Draco drawled.

"You didn't say no either, Malfoy." Harry replied running into his bathroom to gather his toiletries.

Draco shook his head, laughed and sat down on Harry's bed. _Some people never change. At least he stopped asking about that damn drawer._

"You know..." Harry's voice echoed off the tiles of the bathroom. "You never told me _why_ you were so angry."

Draco was silent and Harry stilled his motion, waiting. "Because I thought I had lost control." He finally said.

Harry frowned and peaked his head out of the bathroom door. "Control of what?"

"Everything." Draco replied lowly.

"Sometimes it's good to let go and have things take its course." Harry advised and dashed back into the bathroom.

Draco shook his head. "Not this time." He said to himself.

**000**

It took a few minutes of begging and Remus' coaxing before Sirius allowed Harry to go back to the Malfoy Manor.

Three and a half hours later, Harry and Draco lounged on his bed as the second movie was coming to an end.

"So, does Jacob and Bella become friends again?" Draco asked.

Harry smiled and waved the sequel. "Only one way to find out; you pop this in while I go get more popcorn."

Harry strolled out of the room, bowl in hand. He thought he would get lost the first few times but amazingly, on his first try he found the kitchen. "Your body will remember things you don't." Hermione had told him the other day.

Harry hummed as he made his way down the wide staircase and into the beautiful kitchen: words could not describe its beauty but he bet that The Queen would be envious. He made his way to the cabinet where all the popcorn was kept. He shoved into the microwave (which Draco still fawned over) and waited for it.

He still couldn't get him mind off the drawer in the study; no one was around and he could easily walk in there and break its lock but years with Hermione has taught him to not open things he did not lock. _It was locked for a reason._ Hermione would say.

The microwave let out five consecutive beeps and then died down, indicating that his snack was ready. He poured the contents into a bowl and turned...

...only to bump smack into another blonde, spilling popcorn all over the floor as arms grabbed his shoulders, steadying him.

"Lucius!" Harry cried.

"Hello, Harry." Lucius smiled and started picking bits of popcorn out of his hair.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." Harry said, picking some popcorn out of his cloak as well.

"No worries, Harry." Lucius assured. He then looked at the spilt mess and frowned but with the flick of his wand, it was gone. "I'm sorry about your...popcorn?" He asked.

Harry nodded with a smile. "It's okay, I'll just make another." He repeated the task and sat waiting for the second batch to finish.

"So, what brings you to my home, Harry?" Lucius asked, sitting as well.

"Oh, Draco and I are having a movie night." Harry said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I remember the nights of laughter you boys had...that went on all through the night." Lucius admonished.

Harry blushed and laughed. "Sorry about that."

Then it hit Harry. _This could be my chance: surely, Lucius would tell me what's in the drawer or answer a few questions at least._

The microwave beeped again and Harry poured it into a bowl, oblivious to the sad look Lucius gave.

"So, Lucius I want to ask you something." Harry said turning back to the man, who waited. "The second drawer to the left... ring any bells?"

Lucius blinked quickly. "Aha." Harry said triumphantly and set the bowl down on the counter. "What's in it?"

"A few pictures of your time with... before the accident." Lucius said casually.

Harry though did not miss the slip. "Really?" He said with a raised brow. "May I see it?"

Lucius shook his head. "That would not be a good idea."

Harry frowned. "Why? I already know there's a drawer, all I want to know is what's inside- people easily forget the pictures they take, you know."

"No, only when you're ready." Lucius started to walk out of the kitchen but Harry ran to stand in his way.

"Why are you banned from Grimmuald Place?" Harry asked quickly.

"For reasons that could have easily been avoided." Lucius said plainly. _Stubborn Gryffindors. _"Now please step out of my way." He tried to manoeuvre out of the kitchen but Harry moved to block him again.

"Why won't you tell me what's in the drawer?" Harry asked his arms on his hips.

"Harry, please..." Lucius tried again but Harry did not let him.

"Tell me why!" He challenged. "I'm healing, you know. I'm not some fragile doll that everyone thinks..."

With a growl, Lucius grabbed Harry's shoulder and pinned him to the doorpost. Harry tried to push him away but Lucius only tightened his grip.

"Because you'd be gone again!" Lucius yelled. "Do you know what both your family and mine went through?... Do you?" He shook Harry as he asked.

"Let me go." Harry tried to push him again but Lucius got closer and soon he was leaning over Harry, stalling the younger man's struggling.

Their eyes met. "Never." Lucius whispered. Harry's eyes widened as Lucius leaned down; their foreheads touched and their lips was just barely apart that the smallest movement would result in... well, you get it.

After a few moment of staring into each other's eyes, Lucius grew impatient and turned his attention to Harry's ear. He kissed, licked and sucked it, making Harry groan and close his eyes, fisting the older man's shirt. Lucius then moved to his neck, parting Harry's pyjama shirt and sucked on a collarbone. Harry groaned again and arched into the caress.

_Stop this! This shouldn't be happening! Stop it!_ Harry was trying hard to protest. But the touch seemed to shush him, his body wanted more- screamed for more, in fact. Lucius then looked into Harry's eyes, which was now dark with lust. He moved slowly towards Harry, their lips a few inches apart and getting closer.

_NO, NO, NO, NO! STOP!_ "Stop... please." Harry finally whispered softly.

Those words seemed to slap Lucius in the face, snapping him out of his trance. The moment he let go, Harry sprinted up the stairs and into Draco's room.

"Finally." Draco said. "I was about to send a search and rescue party- what took you so long?"

Harry gave a shaky laugh and sauntered towards his spot on the bed. "Got lost for a moment."

"Are you alright?" Draco asked.

Harry looked at Draco and those eyes- Lucius' eyes stared back at him, so he quickly looked away. "I'm fine."

Draco scoffed. "No you're not: you're shaking." He said matter-of-factly. "Harry, what's wrong?"

_The little snake is just full of questions today isn't he. _"I ran into your father." He said stiffly.

"Father's back?" Draco cried.

Harry nodded. "We were chatting for a bit and he won't answer my questions" That was _mostly_ true.

"Oh." Draco said sympathetically. Ron had once told him that a clueless Harry was an angry Harry. "Where's the popcorn?" He asked again, looking around.

"We ran out." Harry said curtly and pressed the play button, leaving no room for argument.

_**A/N:**__ Oooh... rada-rada... talk about drama, huh?... Wow, this is the longest chapter I've written so far (which is quite sad)... Sorry to all Hermione lovers for giving her such a short scene but I really don't care much for her... I think this story is getting a bit fluffy though...what do you think? Review! Pleeeeese..._


	7. Chapter 8

_Hey again...there are so many thoughts going through my mind about how the story will go from here... it's not necessarily writer's block but it might as well be because I can't decide between the numerous juicy ideas that are running amuck in my head...if I can't decide, I can't write. If you have any ideas, send it to me._

_I'm dedicating this chapter to __**aliengirlguy**__ for his/her review...that you for your patronage._

**Warning:** this chapter contains a Christmas dinner, jumpers and cufflinks, a piano, an angsty Lucius, a broom, a bitchy Draco, a scary Hermione and a teary Sirius (again).

CHAPTER 7: CHRISTMAS

**December 2006 (Christmas day- duh!)**

Last night was the Christmas Eve party at the Malfoy Manor and now Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnegan, Oliver Wood, Luna Lovegood (to Neville's glee), Lavender Brown, Sirius, Remus, Harry, the Weasleys and Malfoys all sat together for a Christmas dinner at Grimmuald Place.

The room was full of small talks of all kinds; Harry sat between Ron and Draco, while Lucius, who had been eyeing the brunet, sat across Sirius and Remus.

After dessert, Sirius stood up and gently clinked his glass with his fork. The room shushed immediately and looked up.

"First and foremost, I would like to thank you all for taking your time to come here; it means a lot to us. Secondly, I officially want to welcome the Malfoys to the family..." He looked to Lucius who could only gape in surprise. "It takes a lot of guts to admit to your mistake, but it takes even more guts to admit your mistake to the people you've wronged and for that, we all thank you."

The room applauded.

"Thirdly and last but not least..." Sirius continued. "It's time for presents."

The room cheered and exited quickly to the living room- which the exception of the Malfoys, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Sirius and Remus.

"Well, unfortunately I must depart." Lucius said to the remaining men in the room. "Thank you for the dinner and Merry Christmas."

"I'll see you off father." Draco said and with a polite nod, Lucius and Draco quietly made their way to the study. "Father?" Draco said, concerned.

"Don't worry Draco." Lucius said grimly. "You enjoy your time with your friends and come home anytime." He did not spare his son a glance.

They entered the study and Lucius took a handful of floo power and threw it into the flames.

"I miss mother too." Draco said sadly, stalling Lucius.

Lucius could only nod; it had been three years since Narcissa's death but the wound was fresh in Lucius' heart- he still loved her.

"She died valiantly: be proud of her...make her proud in every decision you make." Lucius responded.

"You have to move on, father." Draco placed a hand on his father's shoulder. "She would want you to."

Lucius only nodded and stepped into the fireplace, then he was gone.

**000**

Harry, Sirius and Remus said goodbye to their final guests and now lounged in the study admiring their gifts.

Harry got a green jumper for Mrs Weasley (everyone got one), Neville's bubble bath that he created, Luna got him...well, he really did not know what it was, Hermione got him a book titled _Plants of the Wizard World by Alexander Hexwood_, Ron got him a never-ending gumdrop, Draco got him a really expensive perfume, Sirius got him a box of practice snitches for Quidditch and Remus got him a journal.

Harry was mentally ticking off the people he had given gifts to and frowned- one gift was left; it was a pair of golden cufflinks with royal blue curling in complicated designs and lining the trim. It seemed to glow in the light of the warm fire, practically showing off its beauty just like its future owner...

"Where's Lucius?" Harry asked.

Sirius and Remus looked up from their gifts, "He left right after dinner." Remus replied.

"Why?" Harry asked with a frown. _**No one**__ should spend Christmas alone._

They shrugged. "I guess he had more pressing things to take care of." Remus said. "He _is_ Lucius Malfoy after all."

Harry hummed and stood, gift in hand. "I'm going over to give him his gift." Harry announced. "I'll be back in a while."

Sirius nodded lazily while Remus waved in acknowledgement.

A few minutes later, Harry stepped out of the fireplace and into the Malfoy's living room; the place was so quiet and grim that Harry would have thought the beautiful building was abandoned, if it was not for the soft, sweet tune coming from a room above him.

"Mr Potter." A house elf said.

Harry looked down. "Hey, Gemmy." He greeted. "Where is Lucius?"

"Master Malfoy is in the music room." He said with a shake of his head. "It was last place Master and Mistress..." The elf stopped abruptly but Harry understood. "I call him for you."

"No." Harry said. "I want to surprise him- just lead me to the room."

The house elf nodded and obeyed.

The music got louder as Harry got closer and soon, Harry dismissed the elf, allowing his ears to guide him. The first door he leaned against was the right one; he opened and shut it with deft silence.

Lucius' back was to him and he watched in awe as the blonde's fingers moved gracefully across a black piano. The only thing out of place with this ethereal scene was the sadness that oozed from the song.

Harry waited patiently for Lucius to finish, not wanting to disturb what seemed like a private moment. Slowly lucius played the final keys to the song and then hunched over the piano.

"That was beautiful." Harry said.

Lucius obviously stiffened and looked up. "Harry?" He asked as he turned to the younger man.

Harry smiled sweetly. "I didn't see you after dinner and was curious."

Lucius stood and straightened his shirt. "I had some issues to attend to."

Harry's smiled widened and his eyes gleamed mischievously. "I can see that." He said and walked over to run his fingers along the smooth planes of the piano. "I didn't know you played- and it's a muggle instrument: I'm impressed."

Lucius chuckled to hide his blush. _Malfoys do not blush in the face of compliments_, he thought to himself. "I'm glad." He said.

Harry turned serious. "I know why you left." He said bluntly.

Lucius' smile faded and his eyes saddened again. "Yes well, her death was hard on us- especially Draco." He said, sitting at the piano once again. It took him three weeks to say Narcissa's name without him weeping later, so to solve it, he avoided her name completely.

Harry nodded. "I may not know how it feels to lose a parent, but I know it feels to lose a loved one." He said and Lucius waited. "Ginny... she meant the world me... but the war took her away... I really hadn't made any plans about my future- you know, with the whole 'Harry Potter must kill Voldemort' madness going on... she made me think of everything life had to offer..."

"My condolences, Harry." Lucius said. "I'm sure she died bravely."

Harry nodded again, not knowing what to say and then he remembered. "It may not be much... but I hope this cheers you up a bit." He pushed a small box across the piano towards Lucius and waited.

Lucius' eyes widened at the sight of the box; he stood up and picked up the tiny container that looked microscopic in his large hands. The look on his face when he opened it was enough to last Harry a thousand Christmases.

"So," Harry said with a smile and leaned against the piano. "Do you like it?"

Lucius looked up and smiled as well. "It's the best present I've gotten so far."

Harry laughed. "Well, the other presents must have been pretty shitty for mine to come out on top."

Lucius' smile widened and he stepped closer to Harry. "Thank you, Harry."

Harry shrugged. "No worries." He parroted Lucius.

Lucius then looked serious again and he took another step towards Harry. "Do you know why I can't move on from..." He trailed off.

"No I don't." Harry said quickly to ward off any heartache from the older man's beautiful face. "But you don't have to tell me."

Lucius shook his head furiously. "I want to." He said. "I feel guilty." He continued.

"Why?" Harry asked. "For her death?"

Lucius shook his head again. "No: this is worse." He said. "I feel guilty because my heart wants to move on but I can't."

He was silent for a moment and Harry waited patiently. _This has to be a world record or something._ Harry thought, taking his past impatience into account.

"I think I'm in love with someone." Lucius finally said.

"That's great!" Harry cried.

"No it's not." Lucius said. "I'm not only betraying...Narcissa but I'm betraying Draco as well."

"I'm sure Narcissa would understand." Harry smiled. "As for Draco, he can go screw himself for all I care." He scoffed. "You have to try and find happiness again, Lucius."

Lucius laughed darkly. "That's not even the worst part." Lucius said, taking another cautious step to Harry. "I'm not sure that person would love me back: we've had a history and it's not the pleasant kind. I'm afraid I'm too old."

"Old? You?" Harry laughed. "If I were a designer, I would hire you as a model pronto: you're ripped."

Lucius laughed and Harry continued. "You have to put yourself out there: how would you know she likes you if you don't voice your interests."

Silence again.

"Do you want to know who it is?" Lucius asked coyly.

"You really don't have to tell me, Lucius." Harry said again.

"Well, unfortunately I have to tell you." Lucius closed the final space between him and Harry and placed his hands on Harry's shoulders. "I think I love you, Harry Potter."

Harry's eyes widened, his heart skipped a beat and his mouth went dry. "What?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Harry please listen." Lucius said desperately. "I know we've only really know each other for a few months but those months have been the happiest in the past year.

"You may not feel the same way but I'm going to try and win your love, Harry. No matter what it takes, I'll do it."

Harry shook his head to clear the dizziness and backed away slowly. Questions upon questions ran through his head. He agreed that he found the blonde attractive but he was not sure if he liked him in that way. Was he even gay? Life had disappointed him before when it came to the ones he loved... like Ginny. Could he really give love a chance, especially in a delicate relationship like Lucius was proposing?

"Harry?"Lucius asked as the silence seemed to drag.

"I...I need to think about this, clear my head." Harry whispered. He then strolled to the door and pulled it open. "I'll see you later, Lucius." Then he exited.

Besides his devastation, those last words sparked hope within Lucius.

**000**

Three hours later, Harry tossed and turned on his bed, unable to sleep. He could not stop thinking of Lucius and the 'what ifs' that popped into his head was endless.

He gave up sleeping and with a growl, he got out of bed and grabbed his broom: flying helped him think.

He donned some warm clothing and opened his door, promptly tripping on something but he caught himself and looked down.

At the foot of his door was a slender package wrapped in red and gold with a note stuck to it. It read,

_Merry Christmas, Harry._

_Love, Lucius._

Harry could not help but smile. He quickly tore off the wrapper and in its place stood a brand new _Comet Chaser._ Harry gasped. The broom was not even on the market yet. His smile widened as he ran his fingers along the polished hilt.

"Time to take you for a spin." Harry chirped and ran out of Grimmuald Place with his new broom in toll.

**Present Day**

Lucius, Draco, Sirius and Remus talked in the Weasely's study. Hermione was making tea for their guests while Ron was trying to calm Sirius down.

"Calm down? Calm down!" Sirius roared. "This is the third time in two weeks that Harry has come home from a visit with the Malfoys and not eaten."

Draco smirked. "Maybe he ate with us."

"Which I would have believed if I smelt food on him." Sirius retorted. "Something at the Malfoy Manor is troubling him to the point that he loses his appetite and _I don't like it._" He growled the last four words.

"Are you sure it's not that dump you call a home?" Draco asked non-chalantly. "He may have amnesia but he does not have your taste."

Sirius lunged for Draco but Ron and Remus held him back.

"Draco!" Lucius snapped from where he was sitting. "You will do well to hold your tongue."

"Hold my tongue?" Draco cried. "It's his fault everything is the way it is; if he had been the supportive godfather he promised Harry's father he would be, we wouldn't be in a mess this big."

Sirius was stunned for a moment, and then he growled. "How dare you!"

"You're projecting your anger at us because you feel guilty." Draco said casually. "And we all know."

Sirius started struggling against the strong arms that held him. "Why you..." his voice trailed off. He was stunned. He tried to speak again but could not find his voice.

"Now listen up." They all looked to Hermione who played with her wand lazily. "I just put Jo down for a nap and there is no way I'm allowing any of you to wake her up.

"So, it's either you sit down, shut up and listen to me or I could bind you, force you to shut up and you listen to me." She leaned over the tray of tea she had placed on the table. "Do I make myself clear?"

They all nodded and sat down. Nobody crosses Hermione when she is playing with her wand. _I'm so turned on right now._ Ron thought, looking at his wife and taking a seat to Sirius' left.

"I have two theories." Hermione lifted her spell and cleared her throat. "Firstly, I think Harry is just overwhelmed by the memories; the Malfoy Manor was where most events took place so he feels a bit strange that his body has been somewhere is mind thinks he hasn't.

"Secondly, _someone_ has intentionally or unintentionally jugged his memory- which I had advised against. Either way Sirius, Harry will be a bit confused and frustrated: just give him some time."

"What about his loss of appetite?"Sirius asked.

"Like I said, he's overwhelmed. He probably wants the latest memory to sink in before accepting it and moving on." Hermione replied.

"Which brings us to the next question." Ron said and looked to the two blondes. "Have any of you done something to, intentionally or unintentionally remind Harry of something?"

Draco and Lucius shifted nervously. "I knew it." Ron said, burying his hand in his face.

"It was not intentional." The blondes cried at the same time.

"Then _pray tell_ what you did _unintentionally_ to make Harry starve himself?" Sirius said.

Silence.

"We almost kissed." Draco admitted and the room gasped. "I'm sorry, he looked sick and I was trying to help him and then it sort of...almost happened."

Everyone glared at Draco before Sirius turned to Lucius.

Lucius sighed. "It happened the day before yesterday..." he then narrated the story of what happened in the kitchen. "I'm afraid I may be the latest cause of Harry's disinterest in food and I'm sorry." He finished.

Hermione would have sighed at the sweet stories but she thought it, unwise to do it when Sirius was as still as a statue and obviously seething with rage.

After what seemed like forever, Sirius spoke. "Harry will not be allowed at the Malfoy Manor anymore."

"Might as well prohibit him from getting his memories back." Draco scoffed. "How the hell do you think he'd recover if you keep him locked up from the world?"

"I'm afraid I agree with Draco, Sirius." Hermione said. She almost squealed when said man glared at her. "Harry has to be around the Manor if you want him to remember."

Sirius shook his head and stood. "There is no way I'm letting my godson go back there when there are two _snakes_ trying to seduce him in his weakest time." he pointed to the Malfoys.

"I agree with Sirius." Remus said and then he turned to the blondes. "I understand the fact that your feelings can't be help but I won't allow Harry back there either if your libido is doing the thinking."

"He's right." Ron concurred. "Let Harry come to you and not the other way around, let him initiate every conversation and contact you might make because if you take an advantage of Harry, heaven so help me, I _will_ nick you."

"Then it's settled." Hermione said. "Harry will be allowed to go to Malfoy Manor on the condition that Harry will not be touched."

They all nodded.

"Excellent." Hermione clapped her hand once. "Now, does anyone have any questions?"

The room was silent for a moment.

"Harry is remembering... fast." Sirius said reluctantly. "I fear for the worst when he..." he trailed off.

Draco smirked. "When he remembers how you abandoned him?" he finished.

A tear ran down Sirius' face. "Yes." He whispered.

That answer shut Draco up and made everyone sigh sympathetically.

_**A/N**__: Awww...poor Sirius, poor Draco, poor Lucius...The never-ending gumdrop was courtesy of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory... and the book Hermione gave Harry is courtesy of my sister... To get an idea of the song Lucius was playing on the piano, look for "Brothers" (the piano instrumental) from 'Fullmetal Alchemist' on YouTube...the lyrics don't go with the story but the tone of the song does... it's even better with both a piano and violin...Review please!_


	8. Chapter 9

_Hey, sorry for not updating for a while, I had to put up with two assholes this week... I put in the wrong year for the second part of this chapter...so now it's been corrected..._

**Warning:** this chapter contains sulking, wandering, a wine glass, a voyeur and lemony time.

CHAPTER 8: A FALL, A KISS, A NEW BEGINNING

**December 2006 (New Years Eve)**

It was about thirty minutes before the clock stroke twelve; family and friends of both the Blacks and Malfoys (well only Severus) gathered at the Malfoy Manor for dinner and now waited for the clock to announce 2007's arrival.

As much as Harry enjoyed having his friends and family around, he felt anxious; just two weeks ago, Lucius had proclaimed his love for him. They had not seen each other since then (or at least not eye-to-eye) but Harry thought of possibilities upon possibilities of being with an older partner, a man for that matter; he had carefully weighed the pros and cons, regularly adding to the list as the days went by.

After sulking for hours, Harry huffed and quietly albeit unnecessarily snuck out of the noisy room (an elephant could break in and not interrupt the myriad of conversations) and started to wander the manor. He was thinking again... about Lucius. He admitted that he liked Lucius, they had both suffered great losses and are both looking for love.

_Why can't I just give love a try?_ He questioned himself with a groan. _He is obviously sincere...at least I think he is...with his request. Could he really love me or am I just some rebound guy?_

By now, Harry had reached a small, dark room. He could tell no one had been in it for a while because of the smell of freshly polished wood that was still in the air. Well, at least I can have some quiet. He turned on the lights and took his time to admire the small kitchen; everything for the dishes right down to the last tile was new (**A/N: I'll leave the kitchen's appearance to the reader's imagination)**.

He then spots a shiny object in a top cabinet and being the curious Gryffindor he was, he wanted to know what it was. He grabbed a stool and positioned it at the bottom of said cabinet and carefully climbed, cursing his height. The stool wobbled and...

...then stilled again. Harry smiled and opened the cabinet's doors and on one side of it were beautifully crafted wine glasses that you had only seen on television, on the other side were exotic wines of every kind from every country. Tentatively, he reached for a wine glass and stared doting at it, twirling it carefully in his hand.

_Now __**this**__ is how to drink wine_. He thought with a smile.

Suddenly, Harry heard footsteps and a shadow appeared in the doorway; this caused Harry's head to snap to the door a bit too quickly, which in turn caused the stool to wobble again, causing Harry to lose his balance and slip.

He closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable pain to hit him but he felt nothing. Slowly, he opened his eyes and to his amazement, Harry was floating in mid-air above dangerous shards that was once a beautiful wine glass. He mourned shortly for the glass and looked up with a smile, expecting to see 'Draco: the wandless wonder' but instead, an equally blonde Lucius Malfoy stood at the door with his arm outstretched and his palm splayed.

_Well, at least I know where Draco gets it from._ Harry thought to himself.

Lucius then carefully and slowly manoeuvred Harry in such a way that the brunet ended up sitting atop the marble island. With a snap of his fingers, the shards were gone and in its place stood the wine glass.

"Harry, are you okay?" Lucius asked the same time Harry said, "I'm sorry."

"I'm fine." Harry replied the same time Lucius said, "Not at all."

Both men chuckled and Lucius came closer to look over Harry and see if he was hurt, when he found nothing, he started to move back but Harry grabbed his arm.

"Thank you, Lucius." The brunet said.

Lucius smiled. "You're welcome."

"You have a beautiful kitchen." Harry complimented. "But why does it look so..."

"Abandoned?" Lucius asked and Harry nodded, earning a chuckle from him. "This is my private kitchen. I come in here when I feel inspired."

"Inspired to do what?" Harry asked with a sly smile. "Cook? What, is that your secret hobby?" He started to laugh at his joke but when he saw the blonde's face he stopped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh."

Lucius shrugged.

"So..." Harry continued. "You cook uh?"

Lucius chuckled. "A little." He admitted. "Cooking help me think and look at the world in a different light. I know it sounds foolish but..."

"No it doesn't." Harry shook his head. "Flying does the same thing for me...speaking of which, I must thank you for the broom."

Lucius' smile widened. "Do you like it?"

"Are you serious?" Harry asked in disbelief. "I _love_ it; it is so fast and so beautiful. How did you get your hands on it?"

Lucius scowled, faking insult. "I _am_ Lucius Malfoy after all." He said, presumptuously.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Of course." His smile faded and looked at the blonde. "I'm sorry for avoiding you lately."

Lucius' smile slackened a little and he asked, "Is that why you're out here?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I just was not in a party mood." He admitted. "I was thinking...about you... and what you said."

Lucius' eyes widened but he remained quiet and waited.

"I've been hurt by a lot of people and been used by twice as many..." Harry lowered his head as he continued. "And I've lost so much... but..."

Lucius took Harry's hand in his. "I know you been through a lot, Harry." He said. "But if you give me a chance, I promise to care for and cherish you always, to never leave your side and support you in every decision you make. I will show you love like nobody ever has."

Harry nodded and looked into those blue eyes that captivated him so. _Maybe I can love him. It will take time but I can tell he is serious; the least I can do is try._ With a nod, Harry silently vowed to be the best partner he would be- he would not see age difference or gender; he would see a man he could love.

"I'm willing to try." The brunet said.

Those four words made Lucius the happiest man alive; he smiled and placed his forehead on Harry's. He ran his fingers over the younger man's cheek and Harry leaned into the touch.

DONG

Harry and lucius flew apart and look up at a clock that hung above the door: it was exactly eleven seconds to midnight.

DONG

Both men looked at each other and smiled.

DONG "TEN!" the guests in the ballroom shouted.

Lucius leaned close to Harry. "May I kiss you, Harry?" The blonde asked tentatively.

DONG "EIGHT!"

Harry cocked his head and his smile widened. "How gentlemanly of you."

DONG "SIX!"

"Of course you may, Lucius." Harry said. "Thank you for asking."

DONG "FOUR!"

Lucius smiled and leaned in closer. "Happy new year, Harry." He whispered.

DONG "TWO!"

"Happy new year, Lucius." Harry whispered back.

DONG "ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The room chorused.

Harry and lucius crashed their lips together and kissed. Harry's arm wrapped itself around Lucius' strong neck while the blonde wrapped his around Harry's waist.

_Yes._ They thought jointly. _This is right._ The kiss turned from innocent to passionate in seconds. Harry wrapped his legs around the older man's waist, while lucius pulled the brunet closer until their bodies were flush against each other.

Lucius than licked Harry's lips, asking for permission. They parted and both men groaned. The older man licked and sucked on Harry's tongue while Harry's hands boldly carded through the soft blonde hair.

They continued kissing for a while before pulling apart slowly and looking into each other's eyes. "I promise not to make you regret this." Lucius said brushing Harry's cheek again.

"I think I believe you." Harry panted, pulling the man in for another kiss.

Unknown to the blissful pair, a set of tearful eyes watched them with a broken heart.

**000**

**March 2007**

Harry and Lucius have been seeing each other now for three and a half months; both silently decided not to tell anyone yet until they were sure of each other.

Lucius normally went on long business trips that lasted from five days to a week and since the blonde did not know how to use a cellphone, Harry would sit at home and sulk. Tomorrow was going to be one of those days.

Lucius had some business to take care of in India, so Harry decided to visit. Using Draco as an excuse, Harry easily slipped by his godfather's questions but not without feeling guilty. He then flooed into Lucius' office at the manor and knocked on a painting of Aphrodite three times before the art piece swung open, allowing him entrance.

This was their system; Harry and Lucius would sneak into each other's bed and just hold each other, until last month when they started doing a lot more than holding.

Harry quietly made his way through the cold and grimy labyrinth, he had now mastered, until he reached a heavy iron door; he tapped his wand on the door and muttered the password.

Once the door swung open, a wave of heat washed over him and a beautiful room with red and golden drapes replaced the hard, dirty floor. Lucius was waiting for him at the desk in the room; his back was turned, so he did not hear Harry enter. Harry quietly made his way to the blonde and wrapped his thin but muscled arms around the blonde's chest.

"Hello gorgeous." Harry said as he placed a kiss on the blonde's neck.

"Hello beautiful." The blonde replied and soon Harry was in his lap and they were kissing fervently.

After a few minutes, Harry pulled away and rested his forehead on the blonde's (it was their thing). "I don't want you to go." He said sadly.

Lucius gave a chaste kiss to the brunet's lips and hugged him to his chest. "Neither do I." He said. "But I'm a founder- I have to."

Lucius was a founder of _'M & M'_, a bank that was quickly approaching and most likely going to surpass _Gringotts_.

"No you don't." Harry said, pulling back. "Just call in sick- works like a charm." He finished with a smile.

Lucius chuckled. "And I supposed you have used that trick."

Harry shrugged. "Once or twice."

Lucius laughed at that. "You make a fine Slytherin: you should have been one."

"Almost was." Harry admitted.

"What?" the blonde asked.

"The sorting hat said I would be great in Slytherin but I begged it to put me in Gryffindor instead." Harry narrated.

"Why?" The blonde asked.

Harry gave a sly smile. "Let's just say Draco didn't make a good first impression."

Lucius was silent for a moment and then laughed even louder. "That's Draco for you." He said in between sniggers, remembering his son's story of his meeting with Harry.

Harry hummed and straddled the blonde; he rocked his hips, pulling a groan from Lucius. "So Lucius... where were we?" Harry then crashed his lips against the blonde.

Lucius' arms wrapped around the brunet's thin waist and long fingers felt for the hem of Harry's shirt. Soon, both men were topless, still attached by the lips and rocking against each other.

Harry and Lucius could feel their orgasm coming closer and closer but Harry stopped abruptly.

Lucius looked at the brunet with lustful eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked. He and Harry had decided to move at Harry's pace. Whenever Harry felt uncomfortable, they would stop that current activity.

Harry bit his lip and looked shyly at Lucius. "I want you to take me." He said.

Lucius' heart skipped a beat that time. The closest they had ever gotten was rocking against each other until they reached nirvana but now...

"Are you sure?" Lucius asked, brushing his hand against Harry's cheek. "We don't have to."

Harry shook his head and kissed Lucius. "I want to." He said. "Please just take me." He whispered the last two words so innocently that Lucius felt doubly aroused.

He wrapped his arms around Harry's thighs and lifted him up. He slowly walked to the bed, giving Harry time to rethink if he wanted to, and placed him gently on the bed. Harry then leaned up and kissed the blonde, reassuring Lucius as well as himself that he was ready.

Lucius melted into the kiss and started to slowly pull down Harry's slacks. When the brunet was in his boxers, he looked up permission and Harry nodded, soon Harry was naked in front of the older man; his lips were red from kissing and his member stood proudly in its pink innocence.

***THE LEMON HAS BEEN REMOVED... CHECK PROFILE FOR LINK TO UNEDITIED VERSON***

He pulled out of his lover and held him close. "I love you." He muttered.

Harry only nuzzled his chest in return. He was not able to say those words just yet and Lucius was willing to wait.

A cleaning spell later, Harry and Lucius lay in each other's arms.

"I think we should tell." Harry said, after a few minutes of silence.

Lucius craned his head to look down at his love, whose head rested on his chest. "You think we should tell what?" He asked.

"I think...we should tell the others of our relationship." Harry said hesitantly. "Just our family."

Lucius sat up and looked at Harry. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Harry chuckled and kissed Lucius. "Yes I am... so stop asking."

Lucius smiled but it faded just as quickly. "What if they don't accept us?"

Harry gave an exaggerated gasp. "Since when does Lucius Malfoy give a hoot about what people think?"

Lucius leaned forward. "Since it involved the most precious being in the world." He said immediately. "I don't want to come between you and your..."

Harry placed his finger on Lucius' lips, silencing him. "Lucius Malfoy; we are going to tell our family about us and they will support us." He then removed his finger and held the blonde's face in both hands. "Everything will be alright and we will be together, okay?"

Lucius nodded and Harry kissed him. "We can tell them when you come back from your trip if you want." Harry suggested.

Lucius smiled and nodded again. "Yes, I would love that."

Harry smiled as well."Then it's settled; our family will know about us a week after you return from your trip." He kissed the blonde again. "Thank you."

"Always." Lucius whispered and they lay back against the pillows, soon they were asleep."

_A/N: aww they are so much in love... Who was the broken hearted spy?...any guesses (let's see who'll get it right)...review!_


	9. Chapter 10

_Sorry I didn't update sooner. I'm trying to put up as many chapters as possible before my exams start but I don't want to give you crap to read. I hope you like this one... enjoy!_

**Warning:** this chapter contains hooligans, some guy named Al, a kiss (Oooh), Draco's smart mouth (I beginning to hate him), a pissed off Sirius, more piano sadness and Severus.

CHAPTER 9: CALL ME AL

**Present day (April 2008)**

Harry woke up with a gasp; his heart was beating fast and his head was spinning. He got out of bed and stumbled when his stiff legs did not move properly. He looked at his calendar and winced; apparently, he had been asleep for a week.

_So Lucius and I were lovers?_ From what he could remember, he and the blonde were very happy together. However, he could not help but wonder if something that happened between them had caused his amnesia; it would explain Sirius' hostility towards Luc... his lover.

It felt strange just thinking of the man with such an intimate word.

He took a long warm bath to relax his muscles and donned some casual clothes- he was going to take a walk. Harry made his way down the stairs and made a detour into the kitchen for some breakfast.

"Harry!" Sirius cried from his spot by the island, he got up quickly and hugged his godson. "Are you alright: you were asleep for so long that I thought... Oh, God."

At that moment, Remus walked into the kitchen. "Harry?"

Harry turned and smiled at the werewolf. "Hey Moony."

"Thank heavens you're okay." Remus walked up to the short brunet and hugged him as well, thankfully not as tightly as Sirius. "Hermione said you would need some time for the latest memory to sink in."

Harry shrugged. "She's right." He walk around Sirius and started to fix himself some tea.

"So what do you remember?" Sirius asked cautiously.

The question stalled Harry's task. "I don't feel comfortable talking about it right now." he said. "Maybe later, I just need to think for a while."

The others nodded. "We understand." Remus said.

They talked as they ate and soon Harry was strolling through the park a few blocks from Grimmuald Place. Once again, he did not look where he was going and allowed his feet to take him where they may.

_I should probably talk to Lucius... no, not yet... I don't even know if I actually love him... well at least I know I'm gay..._

"Well, well, well," a voice sang. "What do we have here?"

Harry looked up; his feet had led him away from the park to a lowly neighbourhood known for gang violence. Now, three men had surrounded him (one behind him and two at his sides) and were leering at him suggestively.

"Hello pretty." A tall, bald man with ugly tattoos and piercings said. He moved closer.

"May I help you?" Harry asked feigning innocence as he reached into his pocket and grabbed his wand.

"Well, we couldn't help but notice what a nice ass you have." The one behind him said brushing his hand against the said area.

Harry jumped and glared at them. "I don't have any money and I'm not for sale." He started to walk away but the man on his right grabbed his arm.

"We aren't done with you yet pretty." He growled and leaned close to Harry.

Harry almost vomited from the nauseating stench of beer, cigarettes and some unknown substance. "Ever heard of a mint?" he spat.

The stranger only grinned wider. "Well, it looks like we are going to have to fill up that pretty mouth of yours with something... big."

The other whooped in agreement and Harry was about to pull out his wand when suddenly, the man behind him cried out and fell to the ground. Taking advantage of the distraction, Harry kicked his captor in the crotch and then kneed him in the throat as he went down. When Harry was done, the last man was sprawled on the ground and his rescuer placed a foot on him as if he had conquered a mountain.

"Hey." The stranger said. He had dark hair and blue eyes. His build told Harry that this man did not need to work out to keep fit; he had muscles in all the right places. His lower face was rimmed with a thin shadow that gave him a rugged look and brought out his goofy smile. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Harry nodded, unable to keep his eyes off the Adonis. _Yup, I'm definitely gay._

"Nice moves." He said as the climbed over his victim and made his way to Harry.

Harry smiled. "You're not bad yourself."

The stranger laughed. "Now what is a pretty boy like you doing in a place like this?"

Harry scowled. "First of all, don't call me a pretty boy and secondly, I got lost."

The stranger nodded. "Well, I can help you find your way back... if you let me buy you a drink." He finished with a sly smile.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Are you blackmailing me?"

The man gave an exaggerated gasp. "You wound me; blackmailing is such a harsh word..." he said. "No, I see it as trade by barter...you let me buy you a drink and I help you home."

Harry shook his head in bewilderment and chuckled. "Sorry, I was taught not to drink with strangers."

"Well then let's change that." He said with another goofy smile. "My name is Allen but you can call me Al."

"Harry." Harry announced and they shook hands.

Al clapped his hands once. "So, it's settled, I'm buying you a drink."

"I never agreed to that." Harry said.

"Nope, you never agreed to drink with a stranger but now we aren't." He said. "Besides, I saved you from these _thugs_." He spat out the last word in disgust.

He did have a pointed. Harry knew that he would not be here right now if Al had not been around.

"Fine, what are you, a lawyer?" Harry said and walk around a laughing Al towards the sound of cars.

A few minutes later, Harry and Al were at a pub drinking beer, though Harry would have preferred a fire whiskey. Apparently, Al was an aspiring writer who had writer's block at the moment and was looking for some inspiration.

"So Harry..." Al started. "What's your story?"

"Well, I was in an accident a year ago and now I have amnesia." Harry said. He narrated his story form the day he woke up, to his dreams to last night.

"Hard luck, man." Al said. "It must have been weird for you to wake up and find out you aren't a virgin anymore."

Harry laughed weakly at that. "Tell me about it." He said. "And that isn't even the complicated part; a few weeks back, Draco and I almost kissed... and now, my feelings are a bit... jumbled."

Al shook his head. "I wish I could say I know how you feel." He commented. "So what are you going to do now?"

Harry shrugged. "I was thinking of talking to Lucius but I don't know what to say."

"How about you play the field a bit and see how you feel about him- you know, find yourself." Al suggested.

"I just found out I was gay today." Harry cried. "Besides, I don't know any gay guy I can date."

Al looked hurt. "You can always give me a try." He said. Al leaned in close and brushed his fingers against Harry's cheek like Lucius did.

Harry stuttered and stood up. "I should probably get going." He quickly walked out of the pub with and Al followed.

It was dark by the time they reached the park. Harry's brisk steps slowed at bit as they got closer to Grimmuald Place and soon, both men were walking side by side. They did not say anything to each other until Harry turned to Al and smiled.

"Well, this is where I live." Harry gestured to the whole neighbourhood. "Thank you for everything today, Al."

Al smiled. "You're welcome." He then stepped close to Harry, leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Harry's lips and Harry froze.

Al then pulled back and looked into Harry's eyes. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

Harry sighed. "Al, I still don't know how I feel about Lucius." He admitted and stepped back. "I'm sorry but I don't want to make a mistake."

Al shook his head and smiled sweetly at Harry. "I'm serious about dating you, Harry. Take all the time you need." He said and dug into his pocket for a pen and paper. "Here, my address; come by any time you want to talk." He handed Harry a small slip of paper. "I would have given you my number but my phone is in the shop."

Harry nodded and after deliberating, placed a kiss on Al's cheek. "Goodnight." He said and started to walk away.

"Wait!" Al called. "Would you like to take a walk with me tomorrow?"

Harry had stopped and chuckled. "After what happened today?" he countered slyly.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you." The taller brunet huffed.

Harry shook his head in amusement. "Sure, why not- I'll meet you at the park at three." He waved goodbye and started towards his home again.

"Goodnight." Al called and watched as Harry made his way down the street before leaving.

When Harry was sure Al was gone, Number 12 Grimmuald Place appeared and he walked in.

Meanwhile a very angry Draco crushed the present he had brought for the short brunet. He had silently watched the conversation between Harry and the stranger and would not have anyone messing up his chances. With a growl, he walked away.

**000**

Two weeks later, Harry was getting ready for yet another date with Al. He still felt guilty about not talking to Lucius but Al was right; he had to know if his heart really belonged in that relationship.

He donned a coffee brown shirt and some jeans with black sneakers. _Got to look my best for Al._ Harry then headed downstairs for lunch and quickly stepped out of the house leaving a confused Sirius.

"Is it just me or is Harry seeing someone?" He asked no one in particular as he looked at the door.

Remus shook his head. "Sirius, you can be so oblivious sometimes." He said. "Of course he's seeing someone- all the signs are there."

Sirius then frowned. "Why won't he bring her home then?"

Remus shrugged at that question. "Just give him time."

**Five hours**, an amusement park, four ice-cream cones, and a walk later, Harry and Al very slowly made their way back to Grimmuald Place, not wanting their day to end.

Harry felt so lucky to have Al; he loved the way Al would make him laugh at his witty remarks, the way Al held his hand as he did at that moment and the way he would kiss Harry on his head whenever they met or said goodbye.

_This is perfect._ Harry thought to himself with a smile and placed his head on Al's arm- not tall enough to reach his shoulder. Al exchanged the hand he used to hold Harry's and wrapped his arm protectively around the shorter brunet.

They both slowed to a stop when they reached the streetlight that landmarked Grimmuald Place. Harry gave a disappointed sigh and pouted.

"You know, you can always come back to my place." Al suggested with a smile.

Harry laughed and shook his head. "Then you would have to answer to my godfather- he his practically my dad now and a bit over-protective since the accident."

Harry had told Al of his childhood and his friends- of course, leaving out the part that he was a wizard.

Al scoffed. "He'll love me." He then frowned. "When are you going to introduce us?"

Harry had always dreaded that question. "Al..." he said. "I need more time, okay."

Al nodded and turned to face Harry. "I know but I can't help the feeling that you are ashamed of..."

He did not finish his words because Harry had pulled him down and they were kissing. Al's eyes widened or a moment and then he pulled Harry's petite frame towards him wrapped his arms around the thin waist while Harry wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck, having to stand on his toes to reach.

This was their first actual kiss.

Soon, they were apart and panting for air. "You were saying?" Harry asked.

Al's eyes were dark with lust. He smiled down at the brunet. "I don't remember."

Harry chuckled. "I am not ashamed of you, Al: you are the best thing that's happened to me since I woke up. I promise to introduce you as soon as possible." He said, turning serious. "I just want to talk to Lucius first."

Al nodded again. "I understand." He then smiled. "I don't mean to be greedy but could you..." he pointed to his lips.

Harry shook his head with a laugh and they started kissing again.

**000**

Harry could not stop smiling as he hung his jacket and whistled all the way to his room to get ready for dinner. I _have a lot of explaining to do to Sirius._

"Someone seems Happy." A familiar voice drawled as he entered his room.

"Draco!" Harry cried at the pleasant surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Draco shrugged. "Making sure that druggie doesn't rape you or something."

Harry frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Draco smirked and looked at his nails as if they were the most important thing in the world. "The bum that was sticking his tongue down your throat." He said matter of factly.

Harry scowled. "You were spying on me?"

Draco shook his head. "No, I just happened to stumble upon both of you while I came to visit."

"Well, then it's none of your business, is it?"

"Harry, that man is going to hurt you."

Harry shook his head. "No he won't; he saved me from some thugs."

"To gain your trust." Draco said. "I don't want you to see him again."

"You come into _my_ room and then you dictate who _I_ should and shouldn't be with?" Harry snarled, his anger just below the surface. "Fuck off."

"He is not good for you." Draco said.

"And how do you know what is?" Harry asked. A string of sanity was keeping him from losing it.

"Because I do." Draco said stiffly, getting angry as well. "You always try to see the good in others and you never think of the 'what ifs'."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Harry yelled. "Sirius? Remus? My father?"

Draco lost it this time. "I may not be your father but if I was, I wouldn't approve of you allowing strange men to stick their tongue down your throat like a cheap whore!" he smirked. "I mean seriously can't you..."

Harry slapped him, cutting off the blonde, who blink in surprise and looked up at Harry. The brunet had tears running down his cheeks.

"Get out." Harry said in a low, dangerous voice.

"Harry, I'm sorry..." Draco tried.

"Leave!" Harry roared.

Sirius and Remus burst through the door with their wands out. When they saw Harry's face, Sirius growled. "You are not welcome here, Malfoy."

"I think you should leave." Remus said stiffly.

Draco only nodded and left the room, apparating to the manor mid-stride.

Sirius took a step towards Harry. "Cub?" he asked cautiously.

Harry did not say anything; he just turned, walked into his bathroom and locked the door.

He turned on the tap to fill up the tub, slide down the wall and cried. Draco was right; his father would not be proud of him, neither would Sirius nor Remus. He is practically cheating on Lucius by seeing Al.

_Why does everything have to be so complicated with my life... for fuck's sake!... I have to talk to Lucius tomorrow and clear things out..._

The tub was almost full but when he stood up, his head started spinning and images of Sirius saying the same thing as Draco surface here and there. He could feel his heart beating fast and was afraid it was some sort of heart attack and tried to call for help but could not. He made sure to knock over a few things before he passed out.

**000**

"I'll kill you!" Sirius struggled to get to Draco. "What did you do, you asshole?"

Hermione was upstairs looking at Harry while Lucius sat down as Sirius was trying to get out of Remus and Ron's grip towards Draco, who was on the other side of the room.

"I didn't mean to." Draco said. "I was angry."

"Bullshit!" Sirius yelled. "You know he doesn't need stress right now and there you were yelling at him like he was some toddler."

Hermione came downstairs and the shouting stopped immediately. "Harry is okay... he was just stressed and needs rest."

"Now Draco, what exactly did you say to Harry." Lucius asked calmly.

"I saw Harry and a man outside... kissing." The room stood silent and Draco hesitated for a moment. "I told him that if I were his father, I would be disappointed."

A pin drop would have been heard in the living room; Lucius was livid and Remus, Ron and Hermione could only watch as Sirius marched across the room and punched Draco in the jaw, causing him to stumble.

"How dare you use his father's name that way. After this whole shit- you still had the tactlessness to do that." He growled. "Do you know what that could do to him?"

"I'm afraid you may have started a harmful event that may just make Harry's condition worse." Hermione piped. "From what Harry told me, he remembers through dreams: his mind may not be ready for whatever memory you may have jugged."

Lucius just stood and walked over to the fireplace; without a word, he flooed to the manor and marched straight to the music room. He sat down at the piano and started playing; a sad melody filled the room as tears ran down his face.

_My Harry is falling in love with someone else... I deserve it! I promised him... I deserve it... after everything I did..._

He pounded the last keys unto the piano and hunched over the instrument to cry his heart out.

"You still have chance." A voice drawled lazily behind him.

"No, I don't." Lucius shook his head. "I caused everything..."

"No you did not." The voice snapped. "Harry just found out about his preferences- this young stranger Draco is talking about may have just been within Harry's sights.

"From what I can deduce, the boy some still has some feelings for you."

Lucius stood up quickly and looked at the voice's owner. "He does?"

The visitor nodded. "He remembers you; he just needs time to adjust to this new information but I'm afraid I don't know what would happen since Draco's little stunt."

Lucius sat back down with a sigh. "I said you should use your legilimency on Harry- not me, Severus."

The dark haired man shrugged. "It's not my fault your guard was down: you were like an open book."

They were silent for a few moments.

"Thank you, Severus." Lucius said. "For everything."

"Please..." Severus scoffed. "I did it because you look ugly when you cry."

Lucius laughed. Severus' dry humour never ceased to make him laugh.

"So what are you going to do now?" Severus asked.

"Try harder to win back his love." Lucius replied immediately._ I haven't lost yet!_

"And if that doesn't work?"

Lucius was quiet for a moment. "I don't know." He finally whispered.

_**A/N:**__ *sigh* so much drama...just when you think it could not get any worse, BOOM! there's Al... question: what do you think would happen now that Al had been added to the mix... I named the chapter after one of my favourite song by Paul Simon (go listen to it- it's awesome)... to get an idea of what Lucius was playing, listen to "Lux Auterna" (piano instrumental) courtesy of __**aliengirlguy**__... review!_


	10. Chapter 11

_Hey... my exams are around the corner... so after this chapter, a long wait needs to be done on your part... I'll put up the next chapter after my exams... Enjoy!_

**Warning**: this chapter contains cussing, a vulnerable Harry, cutting, and a flashback (it's really angsty so beware!)

CHAPTER 10: DISOWNED

**April 2007**

Harry and Lucius were going to announce their relationship today; they had summoned Ron, Hermione, Draco, Sirius and Remus and now all of them had assembled in the living room of Grimmuald Place (because Lucius thought it would be more comfortable for Sirius and Remus since they would be the hardest to please).

Harry sat down between his godfather and Remus on the couch, Draco and Lucius stood at either side of the warm fireplace (both looking as dapper as ever), while Hermione and Ron took the love seat.

"Alright Harry," Remus said. "We are all here; what is the big news."

Harry gave Lucius a look, stood and walked to the middle of the room, in front of the fireplace. Although he was a hundred percent sure that his family would support his decision, he could not help but shake a little. Lucius walked up to Harry and gently took the thin hand in his.

"Lucius and I are dating." Harry said after moments of anticipation.

The room was deadly quiet. All eyes obviously widened and then settled on Sirius who looked at Harry and then gave a confused look.

"Come again." Sirius said lowly.

"Your son and I are dating." Lucius repeated and Harry squeezed his hand in a silent thanks; he was not sure he could say it again.

The room was silent again as Sirius' body trembled and closed his eyes. "How long have you been..." he did not finish his words.

"Since the new year." Harry answered truthfully.

"So..." Sirius growled and stood up. "You are trying to say that you are dating this man, who is old enough to be your father?"

Harry flinched at the outburst and the others took a defensive position; Draco stood by his father, his hands in his pocket and around his wand, Ron and Hermione stood to stop any crisis that may occur while Remus was trying to calm Sirius down.

"Are you fucking daft, Harry?" Sirius yelled. "This man is a bloody Death Eater!"

Harry was getting angry now. "_Former_ Death Eater." He countered.

"Of course you'll defend him!" Sirius roared. "Do you know what he did to us all?"

"That is all in the past..." Harry started to say.

"Like hell it is." Sirius scoffed. "Harry James Potter you will not court this man- not in my house."

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" Harry yelled.

"He is using you, Harry." Sirius said. "To him, you are just a worthless slut he can have his way with and dump: then again, you must be a slut to allow that man to touch you."

"How dare you!" Draco yelled, pulling out his wand. Other wands, except for Harry and Lucius', were out as well.

"Please Draco lower your wand." Lucius said, placing his hand on his son's shoulders. He then turned to Sirius. "Sirius, please I love your son..."

Sirius raised a hand to silence him and then glared at Harry. "Harry, I will tell you this now: if you court this man, I will break all ties with you."

Harry's world shattered right there and then. Sirius, who is practically his father, is asking him to choose between one love and another. This man had promised to support him in everything and every decision he made. He did not want to lose Lucius but he did not want to lose his family either.

"Please Sirius..." Harry whimpered.

"Don't please me!" Sirius snarled. "If you don't break this off, you will no longer be my son, godson or anything to me!"

"Sirius, please reconsid..." Hermione started.

"SHUT UP!" said man yelled and looked back at Harry expectantly "Well?" The others looked at him as well.

Lucius was slowly letting go of his hand, expecting him to go to his godfather but Harry gripped it as he shook.

"Please." Harry whispered.

Sirius shrugged. "Well, then I guess you've made your choice." He turned and started walking out of the room. "The Sorting Hat was right; you _do_ belong in Slytherin- I'm sure your dear parents would be proud that their son loves being fucked by a snake."

Harry tried to call for him but his voice left him. As if Lucius could read his mind, he called out. "Sirius, please don't do this to him: you are the only family he's got."

Sirius stopped walking and turned to face the room. A flicker of hope warmed Harry's heart. _He can't leave me._

"I'll send your shit to the Manor." Sirius said. "Now, get out!" with that, he left.

Remus and Ron ran after him, pleading while Hermione and both Malfoys kept their eyes on Harry as he trembled. _He left me. I can't believe he left me._

"Harry, I'm so sorry." Hermione said but the brunet did not reply. "I'm sure Sirius will change his mind; he just needs time." Harry still did not reply.

"Harry?" Draco said, concerned as he noticed the man shaking.

But said brunet just kept looking ahead, at the door that his only connection to his parents walked out of. He trembled and kept repeating in his head: _He left me._

"Lucius, take Harry to the manor and let him sleep." Hermione said in a professional tune. "Or else he could go into shock."

Lucius nodded and steered Harry to the fireplace. He tossed in some floo powder and in an instant, he and Harry were stumbling into Lucius' grand study.

"Gemmy!" Lucius called. When the house elf appeared, the blonde instructed the elf. "Prepare a room for Harry and make sure his belongings get here by morning." The elf nodded and scurried off while Lucius was leading Harry to his room.

As much as he loved Harry and was happy to be picked, Lucius' heart bled for the young man who, as he had said, has lost so much but Lucius was going to make sure he gained just as much, maybe even more. He silently vowed to be Harry's everything and never abandon him, no matter what.

"He left me." Harry finally whispered, his shaking increased and suddenly Harry was falling forward.

Lucius caught the brunet before he hit the ground. "HARRY!" he picked up the younger man and raced up the stairs trying as much as possible not to jostle him.

**000**

**Present Day**

Remus was downstairs slowly sipping his already cold tea as he waited. It had been three days since Harry's collapse and Sirius never left his side. He knew the next few days, if not weeks would be hard on the family; Sirius' guilt could be seen by even a blind man.

Remus sighed and strolled to the kitchen to get another cup of tea, despite Buggy's pleas.

_I won't blame Harry if he never forgives him... not after everything... Draco was right: if it wasn't for Sirius' stupid, big mouth this would not be happening..._

He was pulled out of his reverie when a piercing scream penetrated the silent house. He dropped his cup and raced up the stairs with Buggy not far behind. The scene he met when he entered the room broke his heart; Harry was writhing on the bed, shouting in his sleep while Sirius was trying to hold him, tears running down his face.

"NO! Sirius!" Harry yelled as he kicked. "PLEASE! Come back! Don't leave me!"

"Harry, please calm down." Sirius kept repeating. "I'm here."

Remus quickly walked to the small shelf in Harry's room, grabbed the calming potion Hermione left behind and motioned to Sirius to hold him down.

They forced the blue liquid down Harry's throat and Sirius held him as Harry drifted off to sleep. The godfather wept and hugged Harry tighter as he murmured, "I'm so sorry."

Remus could feel his eyes prickling but held back the tears; he had to be strong for Sirius. He gently removed Sirius from Harry's person and carried him off the bed. Sirius clung to him, crying as he sat down on the chair by Harry's bed.

"He'll hate me, Remus." Sirius said. "He'll never trust me again." He broke off at the last word.

"He won't hate you." Remus cooed. "It's okay." He rubbed small circles on Sirius' back until the crying lessened and he fell into a long-deprived sleep.

**000**

**May 2007**

Harry sat on his bed and stared at the ground; it's been three weeks since Sirius disowned him.

Ever since his arrival at Malfoy Manor, Harry never left the room he was given despite Draco and Lucius' coaxing. Hermione and Ron had come to see him several days ago but he ignored them and continued to stare. He always got his meals in bed and never opened the window to greet the sun like he normally did. He just sulked on the bed and watched through the tiny crack in the curtains as day bled into night: he does not even know what day it was.

Today however, Harry got up and walked into the bathroom: the pain was a bit too much today. He did not even bother to close the door as he opened the bottom drawer and brought out a new razor blade that gleamed subtly in the low light. Harry straightened and rolled up his sleeve. The painful memory was playing repeatedly in his head.

_He is using you..._ Sirius' voice was still clear in his mind. He picked up the blade.

_To him, you are just a worthless slut he can have his way with and dump..._ Harry brought the blade to his skin and trembled with adrenaline as the cool edge touched his wrist.

_Then again, you must be a slut to allow that man to touch you..._ The blade broke the skin and shiny rivulets of blood ran down his fingers, into the sink. He could practically see Sirius smirking as he said those words.

_If you court this man, I will break all ties with you... _Harry brought the blade down again and slowly cut a red line identical to the first one. He still did not understand why Sirius was so against him and Lucius dating.

_If you don't break this off, you will no longer be my son, godson or anything to me!_ _Sirius_ was the one who talked Harry into the truce, _he_ was the one who welcomed the Malfoys into the family, and _he _was the one who suggested that Harry should move on from Ginny.

A fourth line was made. Harry did not want to believe that Sirius was concerned about something as trivial as age difference... so what was it. _I'm sure your dear parents would be proud that their son loves being fucked by a snake..._

At that moment, Harry did not care. He was getting a bit light headed but he was not finished. He managed to make two more lines before the room started spinning. Harry gripped the counter to stop himself from falling over then he washed the blood out of the sink and cleaned his arm.

In place of the bloody mess were six horizontal lines; each line representing a letter of Sirius' name. Harry looked down at it listlessly and then walked out of the bathroom, still looking at his work.

"Harry?" a familiar voice broke the silence.

Harry looked up and to his dismay, Lucius stood by his bed, glancing at the cuts on Harry's wrist. Harry quickly hid his arm behind his back but Lucius stepped forward and pulled the arm back. He gently caressed each line before looking up to Harry.

"What is this?" he asked and Harry looked down. "WHAT IS THIS?" he roared and Harry flinched.

"The pain..." Harry said. "The pain was too much... I needed to distract myself."

"And you thought this was the best way to do it?" Lucius asked still angry.

Harry did not answer. He would cut himself every time the pain was too much and then heal himself before anyone noticed, only to repeat the process again.

_To him, you are just a worthless slut he can have his way with and dump... _Harry started trembling; what if Lucius left him because of this, because he was broken. The strong and brave Gryffindor he fell in love with was no longer here.

***FLASHBACK***

**Two days before the announcement.**

Lucius was pacing back and forth while Harry was getting dressed after another night together.

"Luc, please your pacing is making me nervous." Harry said.

Lucius looked up with wide eyes as if he just realised his actions. "Sorry love." He said. "I'm just a bit anxious about the announcement."

Harry sighed. "Lucius, they are going to accept us... nothing will come between us." He wrapped his arms around Lucius and kissed him goodbye before he started for the door.

"Wait!" Lucius held Harry's arm, stalling him. "You know that no matter what... I will always love you, right?"

Harry chuckled. "My, Lucius you sound like a love-struck school-girl." He started laughing but when he saw the serious look on Lucius' face, he stopped and stepped back to the older man. "Lucius... I trust you with my body, heart and life; I agree it may be hard to convince Sirius but he won't stop us unless he sees a good reason to... and I don't, so don't worry."

Lucius nodded albeit his doubt; Sirius and Harry were practically father and son. The bond the two shared was enough to put others to shame. He knew Sirius would never do anything to hurt his son... so why was he so doubtful. Either way, he was going to prepare for the worse.

"I'm sorry for worrying you; I have faith in you." Lucius said and kissed Harry again. "Stay safe."

Harry smiled and bade goodbye before disappearing behind the heavy door.

***END FLASHBACK***

Lucius could feel the tremors going through the younger man's frame. When he saw that tears had gathered in Harry's eyes, his anger left him completely and he smiled. Harry had not cried on the day of his disownment (**A/N: not sure if this is the right word**) or after, this was a good sign.

"It's okay, Harry." Lucius said, pulling Harry closer and hugging him. "Let it out."

Harry did just that; he cried and cried, sinking to the floor with the blonde, clutching at Lucius' robes as he let out all the pent up emotions; sadness, anger, rejection, disappointment, betrayal,... relief.

After a few moments, Harry stopped and looked up at Lucius. "Don't leave me." He whimpered.

Lucius shook his head aggressively. "Never, Harry."

***THE LEMON HAS BEEN REMOVED... CHECK PROFILE FOR LINK TO UNEDITED VERSON***

"I will always be there for you, Harry." Lucius promised, staring into Harry's eyes. "I love you."

Harry smiled for the first time in three weeks. Lucius made Harry forget his hardship that day... he also made him fall in love with the blonde even more.

_**A/N**__: and this is the climax of my little story... *sigh* what a rush... so now we all know why Sirius acts the way he does when it comes to Harry (surely you can put two and two together)... if you have any questions, feel free to ask... now would be the best time to send me any complaints or ideas you have; is the story getting too fluffy, not enough Lucius? Tell me... I hope this chapter does not feel rushed... if it does; I am so sorry... see you after my exams and wish me luck!...review please._


	11. Chapter 12

_Exams are done!... I'm so happy... I would like to thank those two people who have been reviewing non-stop (you know yourselves) you have really been encouraging me... _

_**IMPORTANT**__: Some of you may have noticed that the author's note I posted at the beginning has been taken off because of some misunderstanding with but don't worry, I posted some warnings on the summary and some notes on chapter 2. None of the actual story has been removed so remain calm._

_I would also like to give special thanks to __**aliengirlguy**__ for inspiring part of this chapter with her/ his idea (thanks, I was really stuck. P.S hope you don't mind if I use some more)... enjoy!_

**Warning:** this chapter contains a pissed off Harry, a teary Sirius (again- how many times can a grown man cry?), a _really_ crazy Al, a bit of non-con (not sure if it is actually but I couldn't find any other word to describe it), angry Draco, Lucius and Hermione.

**Last Chapter...**

"_I will always be there for you, Harry." Lucius promised, staring into Harry's eyes. "I love you."_

_Harry smiled for the first time in three weeks. Lucius made Harry forget his hardship that day... he also made him fall in love with the blonde even more._

CHAPTER 11: IT WILL RAIN

**Present Day (May 2008)**

Harry woke with tears streaming down his face; he sat up and winced as his back smarted. He glanced at the calendar; once again, he had been asleep for a week. He looked at the wrist where the healed cuts were supposed to be and started crying. _Sirius left me... after everything we've been through... _

Harry cried for a few moments and then got out of bed, determination in his eyes. He took a bath to relax his aching muscles and wore some casual clothing. He made his way down the stairs, straight past the kitchen and towards the front door.

"Harry?" Sirius' voice stopped him.

"What do you want, Sirius?" he asked coolly, turning to the man.

Sirius took a step towards Harry. "I'm so glad you're awake." Harry took a step back, folding his arms. "Harry, what's wrong?" he asked.

Harry gave a bitter laugh at that. "What's wrong? Hmm, let me think..." He rubbed his chin mockingly before he snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah, that's right: you disowned me."

Sirius' face paled at that. "Harry, please-"

"I trusted you." Harry interrupted. "I trusted you and you betrayed me. Do you know how many times I stuck up for you when Lucius doubted you?

"Then after I wake up, you pretend nothing happened at all: what, were you hoping I would never remember how you abandoned me?" He smirked. "Tell me, is that why you hate Lucius - because he took your little son and fucked him?" Harry finished dryly.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Sirius said desperately. "I really am-"

Harry raised his hand to silence him. "Save that for someone who gives a flying fuck." He started for the door once more.

"Wait, where are you goin-" Sirius started calling.

Harry turned sharply. "Don't you dare!" He shouted, cutting Sirius off again. "Don't you dare pretend you care... you didn't care when I left the first time!"

"Please Harry, let's talk about this." Sirius begged.

Harry smiled darkly and cocked his head. "I remember wanting the same thing but _somebody_ didn't give me a chance."

Sirius tried. "Harry, I know you're hurting right now and..."

"Hurting? Hurting?" Harry repeated as he shook with anger. "Hurting does not even describe what I went through! You left me, you called me a whore!... because I was in..." He paused, he was not sure if he could say the **L** word yet. "I felt so angry and disappointed, I felt rejected and dirty. I even..." Harry stopped again- he was not going to mention the cutting- he was too proud to do that; He clenched and unclenched his hands to stop himself from screaming and tears stood in his eyes but no matter how hard he tried, a few slid down his cheeks.

Sirius started weeping as well. "Harry please..." he took another step towards his godson, who took another step back.

"You can send my _shit _over to the manor for now." Harry said in a dead voice. "I'm done." With that, he quietly left Grimmuald Place.

Sirius sunk to his knees and sobbed, asking James and Lily Potter for their forgiveness.

**000**

**Two hours later...**

_Why do these things always happen to me? Did I offend someone in a past life coz karma must be whipping my ass! _

Harry rubbed his temples as he sat on the park bench. _Do I still feel the same for Lucius as I did before? What about Al?_ He groaned at the thought of the dark haired man. _I mean, I like him but... it won't be fair to any of us; I can't just tuck away my feelings or the past..._

***FLASHBACK***

It was a day after Al had saved Harry from the thugs and as promised, Harry was heading over to the park for a walk.

Al sat on a bench at the park's gate; when he spotted Harry, he smiled and got up. "You came." He breathed.

Harry smirked. "Of course I came; I promised I would."

Al seemed to blush. "For you." He pulled out a bouquet of red roses that he had hidden behind him.

Harry gasped. "Oh my... Al these are beautiful... but you didn't have to get anything." Harry stumbled through his words, his face flushed.

Al handed the roses to Harry. "For you... it was worth it." The taller man said firmly causing Harry to blush even more and Al to chuckle.

"Do you want that walk or what?" Harry asked trying to distract himself from his burning cheeks.

Al chuckled again and followed Harry who had already started walking.

After about an hour of taunting and jibes, it began to rain, making Harry and Al use an old oak tree **(A/N: too lazy to check if there are oak trees in the UK)** for shelter.

"So Harry," a drenched Al started. "Tell me a bit more about the son of this Lucius bloke."

Harry looked up. "You mean Draco?"

Al nodded.

"Well," Harry started. "We went to school together- we were rivals in fact- but when a few of our friends died in the..." Harry paused. "In an accident, we made a truce and became friends ever since. I don't remember much about our friendship...

"I almost kissed him once... it felt so familiar that it scared me because I was supposedly with Lucius and I had to pull back. I apologised but he got angry about me being selfish- I don't know why he said that but I guess I will sooner or later."

Al hummed and moved closer to Harry. "Did you think about my proposal?" he asked.

Harry thought for a moment. "You mean about me dating other men?" He questioned with a raised brow.

Al nodded. "Yes but..." he moved a bit closer, forcing Harry to back up into the tree. Al's face was now a few inches from Harry's. "By men, I meant me." He said steadily.

"Oh..." Was all Harry could say.

Al drew closer to him but Harry stopped Al before their lips met. "I'm sorry... I c-can't... not yet... I n-need time." Harry stuttered.

Al blinked and backed away. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He walked out from the shade and started to stroll away.

"AL!" Harry yelled. "Where are you going?"

Al turned back and frowned. "You said you can't be with me."

Harry came out into the rain to meet Al. "What I meant was I can't be that intimate with you yet coz I need more time. I didn't say I don't want to go out with you."

Al blinked owlishly. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Harry said with a roll of his eyes. "Now let's go back into the shade before we catch a cold, you drama queen." Harry grabbed Al's hand and started to pull Al back towards the tree.

"Thank you, Harry." Al said once they were out of the rain. "I swear that I would never intentionally hurt you, I'll wait for as long as you want."

Al stepped closer and kissed Harry on the forehead; the smaller brunet sighed. "I know."

***END FLASHBACK***

Harry pulled out the address Al gave him from his pocket and sighed; he had to break up with him. It looked like Al was serious but Harry would not lead him on, especially when his heart was not wholly in it.

He got off the bench and glance down on the piece of paper that read:

_49, Benmore Avenue,_

_Leeway, London._

After about thirty minutes walk, Harry reached an old apartment complex; the dull crème coloured paint had patches of white here and there, green vines crept up the walls and twisted around a rusted pipe that ran down the length of the building.

He looked at the address again and climbed the outdoor stairs to the third floor. Door number 49, just like the rest of the building, looked dirty and grimy. Harry knocked once, twice, thrice before there was an answer.

"Alright, alright I'm coming." The voice said. "It's your fault for coming at such an ungodly hour."

Harry frowned and looked at his watch: seven o'clock.

The door was pulled open and a dishevelled Al stood in the doorway with only dark blue jeans on. "Harry?" he said in awe and hugged him. "Thank God you're safe." He then pulled back quickly. "You better have a damn good reason for blowing off our date: I waited for hours, I even went around your neighbourhood looking for you."

Harry winced; of course, they had a date when Harry was still asleep. "I can explain." He said sheepishly.

"Well, it better be good." Al said folding his arms.

"Can we go inside please?" Harry asked. He really did not want to break Al's heart in a dodgy hallway.

Al shrugged. "Depends on how good your answer is."

Harry sighed. _I swear, if he were a wizard, he'll be a Ravenclaw... or Gryffindor- a very stubborn one._ "Remember when I said I remember through dreams?"

Realisation dawned on Al's face. "Oh." He shifted awkwardly. "Sorry, it just that I was so worried." He stepped aside and gestured for Harry to come in.

Harry walked in and was greeted with a room so much more different from the building he met- a meticulously pristine apartment.

"So what do you remember?" Al asked.

Harry was shaken out of his stupor. "I found out that my godfather had disowned me because I was dating Lucius."

"What? That's just stupid!" Al gasped. "Did he say why?"

Harry shook his head. "He didn't say so then and I was too pissed to ask him now; I left."

"Oh Harry... I'm so sorry." Al pulled him into another hug. "You can move in with me."

Harry pulled out of the hug. "Actually, I came to tell you something else." Al waited and he took in a deep breath. "I think we should break up."

The always loud Al was silent; the gleam that was in his eyes suddenly vanished and the grin Harry loved so much disappeared. "It's Lucius, isn't it?" he finally said and gave a bitter laugh. "You still love him- I should have known; one day you say you were going to talk to him, another day, you come here and dump me: classic."

Harry was shocked at Al's words. _Was I __**that**__ bad a boyfriend?_ "I'm sorry Al but it won't be fair to either of us to go on like..."

Al suddenly grabbed Harry and kissed him with so much force and desperation that their teeth knocked against each other; Harry tried to push him off but the other man was much, much stronger.

After a few moments, Al pulled back. "Harry, I may not be rich like Lucius but I love you so much." He said. "Please don't leave."

"I can't, Al."Harry said shaking his head. "I have to know what we had was real before I make any decision."

"You don't have to make it now!" Al cried. "Just take some time off and think of..."

"NO!" Harry said a bit harsher than intended. "We should end this before it becomes something we can't turn our back on." he continued in a softer tone. "I'm so very sorry Al; I hope you find someone you will love you the way I couldn't." With that, Harry walked out of the apartment, purposefully not glancing at him.

He slowly made his way down the stairs praying whatever higher power out there could help Al forgive him. Now, he had to go over to the Malfoy Manor and talk to Lucius.

No sooner than Harry had bounced off the last step did he feel someone drag him into a narrow ally that separated the complex into two parts; His hands were pinned to the wall and lips quickly descended on Harry's, not even giving him time to scream. Harry struggled and twitched his thigh to feel for his wand- he left it at home. _Fuck!_

The lips left him and a shirtless Al looked down at the brunet with a crazed gaze. "I can love you just as well as he can, Harry." He said as he put both of Harry's wrists in one big hand and used the other to unbutton Harry's pants.

"NO!" Harry yelled. "Al stop!" he squirmed and tried to get away but the more he struggled the more painful Al's grip became, soon forcing Harry to stop.

"I love you, Harry." Al said, thrusting his hand into Harry's trousers and gripping his member. "Let me show you." He started stroking the flaccid flesh slowly and smiled when it responded. "You see, you want it; you are too good a soul to hurt anyone on purpose... you think you should stick by the man who loved you in the _past_."

Thunder rumbled in the distance and Harry closed his eyes. _This isn't happening._ "Please Al, let me go." Harry whimpered.

Al continued as if he did not hear him. "Being with me won't make you a cheater, Harry." The strokes became faster as a light drizzle started. "I will take care of you and love you- I won't let any harm come to you like he did; you won't lose your memories if you're with me."

Harry involuntarily bucked into the hand. "Please Al." He whispered. Tears streamed down his face but Al did not see it as it mingled with the now heavy rain.

"I have wanted to make love to you for a long time." Al continued. "But I said I would wait for you to be ready; I tried to be understanding..."

Harry turned his head as he bucked into the hand that stroke him just right- he was fully hard now and he could feel the orgasm approaching. Al felt the flesh twitch and closed Harry's mouth with his as Harry came, screaming into his mouth.

Al pulled back and smiled. "Wasn't that beautiful, Harry." He asked as he licked Harry's seed off his hand with a loud smack. "How about we go all the way?"

Harry sobbed silently. _Please help me... anyone please..._

Harry screamed and struggled more as Al started unbuttoning his own pants; a tap on the shoulder though stopped him. When Al looked back, a beautiful and furious figure stood behind him; his blonde hair fell around his face due to the rain and his dark blue shirt clung to him.

"Let him go." the blonde said and Harry looked up at his saviour. _Draco!_

"Fuck off!" Al growled. "I'm busy trying..." Al did not finish his words because all of a sudden, he was lying on the ground that was now muddy with rain. A kick to the chest made him yelp in pain; he was then pulled up by his hair and made to look into grey eyes.

"I am only going to tell you this _once_; If I _ever_ see you near Harry again," Draco snarled. "I'll pull out your nuts and make you eat them on toast: do you understand?"

Al shook in pain and fear. "Y-yes." He stuttered.

Draco punched him with a growl, knocking Al out before letting go of the head to drop to the muddy ground with a painful thud. He looked back at Harry, who was frozen in place with his trouser still undone and his eyes fixed on Al.

Draco softened his features and slowly stepped to Harry. "Harry?" the green eyes focused on him. "It's alright." He placed his hands on Harry's shoulders, lightly at first before he grew more confident. "You're safe now, Harry."

Harry seemed to blink with recognition before throwing himself into Draco's arms. "Thank you, thank you... he was going to... he said he would... Oh, Merlin." Harry stuttered before he broke down and cried into the blonde's shoulder.

Draco held Harry tightly and allowed him to ruin his shirt. _The rain already got to it anyway- I'll buy a new one._ He gripped Harry even tighter and apparated them to the Malfoy Manor. Harry still clung to him and was too upset to do much, so he carried Harry, bridal style and walked into the manor where Ron, Hermione, Remus, Sirius, Lucius and Severus had been waiting.

"Harry!" they all (except Severus coz he's Severus) cried and ran towards the drenched pair but the said brunet buried his face in the crook of Draco's neck and clung to the blonde.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

Draco just scoffed. "I don't have the time to speak to morons like you." He tried to get to the stairs but Sirius blocked the way.

"Harry?" Sirius reached out and touched Harry, causing his body to tense up. "Cub, what's wrong?"

"Draco put me down." Harry's frame and voice shook. "Please." He added when the blonde hesitated.

Draco reluctantly let him down but put an arm protectively around his shoulder causing a pang of jealousy to nip at Lucius' heart.

"Excuse me. " Harry said, going for the stairs. When Sirius started to protest, Draco glared at him and seemed to growl, causing the man to snap his jaw close.

The pair made their way upstairs and to Draco's surprise, Harry went straight to the room he stayed in after he was disowned. Harry made a beeline to the bathroom, leaned over the ceramic bowl and vomited; after a few moments though, it turned into dry heaving since he had not eaten for a while.

Draco silently rubbed small circles on the small of Harry's back and when the heaving stopped, he helped Harry clean up and then helped him get dressed in one of Harry's pyjamas that was stocked in the dresser.

"Come on, Harry." Draco said; he led Harry to the bed and tucked him in but not before noticing some blue bruises on Harry's wrists where Al had held him. _That bastard!_ He growled in his head. _I'll get him for this._

"I'm not tired." Harry said stubbornly as Draco inspected his wrists.

"Well," Draco said, casting healing spells. "You have had quite a day, so I think you should get some rest."

Harry shook his head. "I don't want to be alone right now."

Draco wanted to object but the fear in the brunet's eyes stopped him; he nodded slowly, cast a drying spell on himself and climbed onto the bed, lying on top on the covers. Harry moved a bit closer, reluctant before Draco pulled him to his chest.

"How did you learn to fight like that?" Harry asked after moments of just staring at each other.

Draco chuckled. "My father had a private tutor teach me self defence when I was eight."

Harry nodded. "How did you know where I was?" he asked.

Draco bit his lip; he did not think Harry would appreciate it if he was told that Draco had put a tracking charm on him. "Coincidence really," He said with a shrug. "I saw you going up the stairs and I was curious."

Harry raised an eyebrow, a bit sceptical at first before he nodded again and they continued to stare at each other.

"Am I too approachable?" Harry asked no one in particular.

Draco's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No, you are just the right amount."

"Then why did this happen; the man who saved me from being raped, almost rapes me at the end." Harry gave a bitter laugh that made Draco's skin crawl. "Some fairytale huh?"

_Al was the only thing outside this messed up, coma-induced episode I call life... he made me forget my troubles... he bridged me to the real world..._

Draco remained quiet, afraid of what the Gryffindor might say next- it has only been one time he had seen Harry speak this way.

"I should have listened to you." Harry said suddenly moments later, causing Draco to jump a little. "You tried to warn me but I was just too stubborn." He buried his face in Draco's shoulder. "I wouldn't blame you if you see me as some whore for seeing another man."

"Look, Harry..." Draco said, pulling Harry's face to meet his. "I never got to say I'm sorry about that day; I said some things that were uncalled for and I regret them."

Harry shook his head. "There's nothing to forgive; you were just being a friend... in your own Malfoy way." He finished with a small smile.

Draco smiled as well and held the brunet as he fell asleep before joining him in the land of dreams.

**000**

Downstairs, Remus and Sirius sat together with Sirius hunched over and Remus rubbing circles on his back while speaking soothing words. Ron and Hermione were discussing, while Lucius stood in front of the fireplace, having just bade goodbye to Severus.

They had heard from Sirius that Harry had left Grimmuald Place upset and forgot his wand; they had all gathered at the manor to make a plan before Draco walked in carrying Harry in his arms.

***FLASHBACK***

"Malfoy!" Sirius called as he flooed into the manor.

Draco met him with a scowl. "What do you want-"

"Is Harry here?" Sirius interrupted.

"Why would he be?" Draco scoffed, folding his hands.

"He forgot his wand when he left Grimmuald Place." For dug into his pocket and produced it.

"Wait, Harry left Grimmuald Place?" Draco said, startled.

"Yes," Sirius said as he lowered his head. "He found out that I..." he trailed off, not having the heart to finish.

"Harry isn't here." Draco said slowly.

"What do you mean he's not here?" Sirius cried. "He left Grimmuald Place over two hours ago."

They were both silent for a minute, allowing themselves to piece together the dilemma; Harry was upset and alone without any protection. "SHIT!" they both swore.

"Gemmy!" Draco bellowed and they house elf appeared with a pop. "Tell father that Harry is missing." The elf nodded and disappeared.

Draco had started walking off when Sirius called. "Where are you going?"

"To clean up our mess." Draco said, not even bothering to look back at the man.

***END FLASHBACK***

Ron made his way to Remus and whispered something into his ear and soon it was only Sirius, Lucius and Hermione in the room.

"Alright, both of you," she boomed. "Quit sulking and listen." Both men looked at the witch immediately. "No one is leaving this room until both of you sort out your differences," For emphasis, she put up locking charms and silencing spells. "Harry has been through enough crap already and I will not have your animosity screwing him more than he is."

The two men glared at each other for a moment and then looked away. After a few minutes, Hermione was about to say something but Lucius beat her to it.

"Why?" He asked lowly. "Why?" he asked again a bit loudly. He looked up at Sirius and something in his eyes told Hermione that this was Lucius' wall, any more and he _will_ snap. "I loved him with all my heart, all my soul, I would give my life a hundred times over just for his happiness... I still do and still will!" He paused and took a deep breath, trying to control his anger before continuing. "He cut himself, you know."

Hermione and Sirius looked up, shocked. "What?" They said simultaneously.

"Harry was cutting himself right after Sirius disowned him." He paused. "He didn't cry one bit after that day... until I caught him with his wrists sliced up." He gave a dry laugh. "You know, I knew this would happen; something told me that you won't appreciate our being together but Harry was _stubborn_... he would always defend you, Sirius... We even fought about it one day... and yet you proved him wrong... the disappointment and rejection Harry felt was so much that he, as Harry said, 'had to let out the pain.'

"I wanted to get help but he refused... because he did not want to seem weak to you or anyone. He said, 'I survived Voldemort, I will not die at the hands of a cheap razor.'"

Lucius sighed as if in relief before he made his way over to an armchair and sat; he looked tired rubbing his temples and the bridge of his nose. And he was.

All was silent. Hermione sat down on the chair closest to her at the new revelation; she did not know Harry's pain was so deep a wound.

"I never hated him." Sirius said, causing others to look up. "I was just... confused. I never meant for him to leave or do this to-"

"BUT HE DID!" Lucius yelled for the first time since Harry's coma.

Sirius just nodded. "I know and I'm so sorry."

Silence again.

"You never said why you were so against us." Lucius said calmer this time.

Sirius sighed. "You see; James really wanted the family name to continue... he and Lily were the only Potters left- with Voldemort on a killing spree and all. James made it a goal to never let the name die out."

Understanding dawned on Hermione. "So when you found out he was dating Lucius..." she did not finish but the others understood.

"After James and Lily died, I made it _my_ goal to make sure the Potter name doesn't die out; so I would set Harry up on dates, trying to help him move on from Ginny." Sirius continued.

"Wait a moment," Lucius said, eyes wide. "Are trying to tell me you didn't know that-"

"If I knew then what I know now," Sirius said, interrupting the blonde. "I would have given you my blessings in a heartbeat."

A pregnant silence filled the room again; the tension was so heavy that Hermione could not utter a word or even move until Sirius spoke again.

"Know that I am still very angry about what you did to him; if you hadn't been so tactless, Harry would not have left the manor and fallen into a coma." He looked up and pinned Lucius with a look. "How do I know you won't leave him again?"

Lucius lowered his head. "I know now that I was foolish... and I will never forgive myself about my hand in... Harry's condition." He then looked at Sirius. "But I swear that if Harry takes me back, I will love and cherish him forever... all we need is your blessing."

Sirius got up and walked to Lucius. "You are good for Harry, Lucius; he needed stability in his life with all the crap that happened... and you gave it to him. For that, I thank you." He stretched out his hand. "Thank you for being there for Harry when I wasn't... I trust you will take better care of him next time."

Lucius looked at the hand for a moment before he stood up and grasped the hand in a firm handshake. "Thank you."

Hermione nodded and smiled. _I should be a family counsellor._ She thought to herself. Her smile then faded as she remembered a crucial part of this situation.

_Draco._

_**A/N:**__ this chapter is sort of bitter-sweet, isn't it?... I'm sorry to those who were beginning to love Al like I was; he is not a psycho, he was desperate and desperate people do __**very**__ stupid things. Don't worry, you'll see more of him in the future... I named this chapter after Bruno Mars' song of the same title to put across Al's feelings towards losing Harry... now we all know why Sirius was against the relationship- do you think it's a good reason?... at least now Lucius and Sirius have made up but what about Harry's feelings? What about Draco's feelings- will he stand down? What really made Harry go into a coma, who wins his heart? Why doesn't it rain flavoured water- I mean, seriously? These, my friends, are the mysteries of the universe. _

_P.S. I'm high on raisins and chocolate so... you may want to forget that flavoured water part... even though they __**are**__ delicious._


	12. Chapter 13

_Hey! I'm so happy I'm on holidays now so I will be able to update chapters sooner... however, I was not able to put up this chapter sooner because my mom's birthday was on Monday so I've been busy... Good news! I have almost finished writing this fic... all I have to do now is revise and update..._

_**IMPORTANT: **__I'm sure some of you must have heard that is going to ban all M rated fics and have started deleting some stories. I'm not sure about what's gonna happen but just in case, I am removing or have removed the lemons in previous chapters... I will publish unedited backups elsewhere and post the link on my profile... so if you're interested, it would be wise to set up an author alert... until that occurs, enjoy!_

_This chapter is dedicated to __**aliengirlguy**__; it mostly consists of his/ her ideas... I only filled in the blanks, so I can't take all the credit. Thank you for your patronage._

**Warning**: this chapter contains Draco, Sirius, Harry (duh), Lucius, a kiss, a portrait, an album, creepy sketches and Severus.

CHAPTER 12: ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR

**The Next Day...**

Draco woke up to a dimly lit room; he glanced at the clock above the door and it read 6:25. He groaned, he had slept for a whole day but he quickly shrugged it off and started to move off the bed when he felt something heavy on his chest. He looked down, startled and then smiled when he saw Harry sleeping peacefully with his head on his chest and his arm across Draco's abdomen. Draco quietly and slowly got up without waking Harry and tiptoed out of the room. He let out the breath he had been holding in and started towards his room to take a bath.

"Draco." A familiar voice called, causing Draco to stop and groan. _Just what I need._

"Look, I said I don't want to talk to you." He snarled.

"I know," Sirius said evenly. "However, I just need you to listen." The only indication Draco gave to show he was listening was the tilting of his head slightly to the right. "I know about how you feel about Harry, Draco." Sirius started again. "And I am begging you to stand down."

Draco turned to glare at the man. "I'm not giving up on Harry."

Sirius scoffed. "Last time, you thought the same thing... and where did that lead you?" Draco did not answer. "Please, Draco for the sake of his health and of our truce, stand down."

"No." Draco said.

Sirius raised a questioning brow. "No?"

"Yes, no." Draco said louder. "I am not giving up when I have come this far... it's Harry's call as to who he wants to be with... _not yours_." He growled out the last two words.

"Why are you so selfish, Draco!" Sirius yelled before stifling his voice and glancing at Harry's bedroom door, when no movement could be heard, he turned back to the blonde. "He was with Lucius fair and square before you decided to rear your ugly head and start this rubbish." He finished softly.

"All's fair in love and war." Draco sneered. "Besides, you're one to talk," He said coldly. "You spew all that crap about my father and Harry getting together and yet here you are with Remus..."

Sirius bristled. "You know very well that we only got together _after_ the accident." He said matter of factly and then his face softened. "I was stupid and selfish... he comforted me in my time of need and loved me when I deserved hatred... yes, that does make me a kind of hypocrite but I assure you that it was unintentional."

"Please, save your sob story for the werewolf." Draco scoffed. "You're just jealous you aren't the centre of atten-"

Sirius cut him off with a punch and then grabbed the blonde, pushing him against the wall.

Draco smirked, oblivious to the blood that ran down his chin. "My, Sirius; I'm flattered but I'm afraid I'm not into _dogs_- bestiality is not really my thing, you see."

"I've had just enough of your crap!" Sirius growled. "Why can't you understand that Harry does not need this shit right now?"

"You know, you should really let Harry make his own decisions." The blonde hissed.

"That's not the point, Draco." Sirius snarled. "Why are you so stubborn?... I know you Slytherins; what do you hope to gain from this? Why are you doing this?"

Draco kept quiet and looked at the floor. _Why am I doing this? Story of my life..._ "Because I love him." Draco said quietly.

Sirius' eyes widened but he wanted to be sure he had heard correctly. "What?" he asked.

Draco pushed Sirius off him. "I said, I love him... since the first day I saw him, I was... _infatuated_ with Harry Potter... when he declined my friendship, I felt rejected and tried to hate him... and it helped a bit that I was in Slytherin... obviously, it didn't work...

"When Harry was looking for the Horcruxes, he was captured and brought here- I was so scared for him but I couldn't do anything when Voldemort was practically our roommate... I saw fear in his eyes- it was only for a moment but I saw it... it would always haunt me... I could only pray that the 'Boy-Who-Lived' could live up to his name once again...

"After the war, I decided to try and make amends and develop some sort of truce... when we were so easily accepted, I made it my goal to not only win his trust but also his heart... then father came into the picture... I was angry; father _knew_ how much I was in love... but he still came and stole him away from me... I decided to play fire with fire; I was not going to give up on what was rightfully mine- we Malfoys always get what we want, you know... it got out of control and... Well, you know the rest." Draco finished dryly.

The blonde pushed himself off the wall and wiped his chin free of blood. "Once again, I have a chance to win Harry's heart; this time, I will play my cards carefully and I will_ not_ let _anyone_, whether it is my father, Ron, Hermione, Remus or _you_ to stand in my way." With that declaration, the blonde turned swiftly and glided through the corridor towards his room.

Sirius could only look upon the retreating back. _I need a drink_, he thought as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. _I've had enough teenage angst drama to last me a lifetime._

**000**

When Harry woke up, it was a few minutes after ten. He groaned, knowing he was going to be sluggish today- he hated that feeling. He started to stretch and yawn when he heard someone beside his bed. "Hello, Harry." A voice greeted.

Harry was startled at first but soon he was scowling at the visitor. "What do you want, Sirius?"

Said man shifted in the seat he had placed by the bed. "I wanted to talk to you." He said quietly.

"So you couldn't wait for me to wake up?" Harry asked.

"I did." Sirius replied innocently.

"I meant like a normal person... not some stalker." Harry stared at the man's heartbreaking face and sighed. "Fine, what can help you with?"

Sirius' face seemed to brighten a bit. "I wanted to... apologise to you about what happened last year... I was just caught off guard."

Harry shook his head. "No, to gasp and take a few days to think about mine and Lucius' relationship is to be caught off guard- you disowned me." He finished calmly.

Sirius nodded and lowered his head. "Harry, I know you have no reason to forgive me but please I'm begging you to... I just can't lose you..." he voice broke at the last word.

Harry gave a dry laugh. "So it takes a cut wrist and a coma to get you to come to your senses."

They were silent for a few minutes.

"I want to know why you disowned me." Harry finally said. "You owe me that much."

Sirius sighed but narrated his story about James and his plan to set Harry up with girls. Harry's eyes widened more and more as the story continued. They then lapsed back into silence as Harry processed the tale.

"My father wants me to continue the bloodline?" Harry asked no one in particular. "So that means, I'm disappointing my father by being with Lucius." A lone tear ran down his cheek. "He would have disowned me as well if he were..." he trailed off and started sobbing.

"Oh cub, no." Sirius cooed and climbed into bed to hug the distraught brunet. "Your father would still love you no matter who you're in love with."

Harry clung to his godfather and nodded but he continued to cry- this time, it was in relief that he got his family back. Sirius happily held his son in his arms and rocked back and forth, trying to soothe him. Soon enough, Harry quietened down but they still held each other.

"Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?" Sirius asked. Harry stiffened. "Did Draco hurt you?" Sirius asked again.

Harry shook his head. "Not unless I hurt him first; maybe I'll tell you some other time." he said. They continued to hold each other, content in just being in each other's presence. "I need to talk with Lucius." Harry said after thirty silent minutes.

Sirius nodded, understandably and let go of Harry; he pulled Harry's face to meet his. "Thank you, Harry."

Said brunet smiled. "No problem." He said. "But you owe me, you know."

"Oh?" Sirius said askance.

"You have to tell me how you and Remus hooked up." Harry said matter-of-factly with a bemused grin as Sirius sputtered and turned a bright shade of red. "Well, I guess I better go take a bath." Harry said again, getting off his bed and leaving behind a still stuttering Sirius.

**000**

Lucius Malfoy stood alone in an unused study; the cherry wood desk and leather chairs were still covered in a cloth that kept the dirt off. The huge fireplace practically shone in its fallow glory and a painting hung over the mantle, also covered by a cloth. Lucius had sworn that he would not unveil the painting until its muse was with him.

Harry was all he could think about; he was glad that Sirius accepted the relationship but past fears still rose here and there. _What if Harry decides to leave me because of Sirius' disapproval... or because of his parent's wishes... what if Draco gets to him first... NO! - I won't let that happen..._

"Good afternoon Lucius." The blonde snapped his head to the direction of the voice. "May I come in?" Harry asked tentatively by the doorway.

Lucius stared at the brunet for a moment; they had not spoken or seen each other since the incident in the kitchen. "Of course, Harry." He finally managed to say.

Harry slowly walked in, not wanting to spoil the pristine burgundy carpeting with his shoes. He stopped at the first chair closest to the door and both men openly stared at each other for minutes, taking in each other's appearance.

"How are you, Harry?" Lucius asked slowly. As much as he wanted to move towards his young love and hold him, he stood still- not wanting to startle the brunet again.

Harry, on the other hand, was not sure what to do; he did not exactly have a book titled 'How to Get Back Your Love Series: Coma and Amnesia Edition.' "I'm fine." He said with a small smile.

They stared.

"About what happened in the kitche-" Lucius started.

"No, it wasn't your fault." Harry interrupted. "You were trying to help me remember... I was just startled, that's all."

Lucius smiled. "Thank you for your understanding."

Silence again.

"I remember us." Harry suddenly declared, causing Lucius to look up. "In fact, I remembered a while ago... then I started dating this guy... I'm sorry but I was... confused and I didn't know how to... approach you... I'll understand if... if you... if you don't want to-"

"Don't Harry," Lucius said firmly, cutting off the brunet. "Don't ever think that I will ever stop loving you."

That was enough to send Harry and Lucius stumbling towards each other and crashing their lips together in a long, chaste, sweet kiss. They pulled away, only for Lucius to pepper small kisses on Harry's tear stained face. "I love you." Lucius punctuated every kiss with those words. Harry was too emotional for words; he pulled Lucius in for another kiss, hoping to convey all his affection through it (longing, happiness, relief) before pulling back and holding him tightly. They stayed like that for minutes, hugging each other as Lucius occasionally kissed his head with 'Harrys', 'Oh Gods' and 'Don't ever leave me agains' in between.

**000**

A dark figure sat alone in his room; his eyes slowly opened as his mind pulled away from the tender scene in the Malfoy Manor. He slumped against his chair and sighed. _It's happening all over again._

**000**

The reunited couple sat in the quiet study, Harry in Lucius' lap, still holding each other; Harry nuzzled the crook of the blonde's neck, while the older man placed his chin on the dark head, breathing in his love's scent- they were like this for hours.

"I still can't believe you're here... with me." Lucius said quietly.

Harry chuckled. "It's gonna take a lot to get rid of me."

Lucius laughed. "Leave it to Harry Potter to surprise me... and speaking of surprises..." Lucius scooped a squealing Harry up in his arms, not wanting to let go just yet. "I have one for you... _Revelo_."

The cloth on the desk, chairs and painting flew off its items and Harry gasped at the painting. "Lucius..."

Said blonde smiled. "All this, Harry is for you... your own personal study; I had it made while you were... well, you know... Do you like it?"

A portrait of a handsome man with pale skin, thin glasses, wild pitch black hair and eyes so green, it shamed the most beautiful emerald, grinned back at them.

Harry saw tiny flashes of memories here and there. "I remember you saying you were going to have my portrait painted... that was the day I took a picture of you with my camera..."

Lucius smiled. "Yes, I still have your camera in my study... it's more complicated than I thought."

Harry laughed. "Well, I'll be happy to show you how to use it... if you put me down, that is."

Lucius laughed as well and gently placed the brunet on the carpet but held on to his hand as they quietly walked out of the study.

"You really did not have to do all this, Luc," Harry said, squeezing his hand.

"I would do it a hundred times over just for you, my love." Lucius replied warmly and chuckled when Harry blushed- he had missed that.

They finally reached Lucius' study; the blonde led Harry around the desk and opened a drawer- the second drawer to the left. Lucius pulled out a blue digital camera and a large photo album; he placed the camera on the desk and handed Harry the album. "I think you're ready." He said.

Harry's eyes widened as memories flooded in; he took the album- it was a beautiful shade of yellow dotted with floral designs and rimmed with a faux fur and azure ribbon trimming. Before Harry opened it, he could tell there were a myriad of pictures; most of them were of Lucius and Harry, a scowling Draco popped in here and there with Hermione and Ron not far behind. Lucius sat and watched as Harry took his time to look at each and every picture- as he progressed, Harry noticed that the pictures of him and Lucius got more and more intimate while Draco's scowl progressively grew.

Harry frowned. "Draco doesn't look happy." He said.

Lucius stiffened a bit and school his features deftly. "Well, you know him." He gave a small chuckle.

Harry's brows sloped dangerously in a deeper frown before shrugging and progressing to the last picture. However, unlike the others, this picture moved; it was of him and Lucius, with Harry on Lucius' lap, both resting snugly on a love seat like they had not long ago- Harry and Lucius gazed lovingly into each other's eyes before kissing passionately and repeating the actions.

"Who took this?" Harry asked, he remembered the day this happened but had no idea who actually captured them- they were supposed to be alone.

"To be honest, I don't know." Lucius admitted. "I came back from work one day and found it on my desk... but I must admit, I'm glad they did."

They lapsed into a compatible silence and Lucius allowed Harry to process the new information he had.

"So," Harry started. "This is why you didn't let me see the pictures..." Lucius nodded and although Harry did not see it, he felt it. "It must have been horrible... I mean, here, I am alive and well, and yet I could not be with you..."

Lucius sighed and sat back. "It was my own personal hell..." he said. "You were so close, I could almost smell you and yet... you were so far..." the brunet did not hear the rest.

Something in Harry's head clicked at those words. He was then bombarded with flashes of the past here and there; there was a song playing with those words; he was dancing with someone, he knew it was not Lucius but it was someone he knew. The memory flashed and the stranger he was dancing with whispered his name.

"Harry?" the brunet was snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of his name. Lucius was standing in front of him with a hand on his cheek, worry marring his beautiful face. "Love, are you okay?"

_Who was that? Why was I dancing with him? Does Lucius know?_ Harry nodded. "Yeah... it's just... you waited for me." He finally said with a smile. _I'll tell him later._

"Of course I waited for you." Lucius said, kissing him on the forehead. "I know things will be hard as you try to adjust but I'm still willing to wait, Harry... I love you."

"I know." Harry replied before pulling Lucius into a kiss and then pulling away with a loud smack.

"I'm sure you're hungry." Lucius said. He grasped Harry's hand in his and started to lead them to the kitchen.

In the hall, Harry faltered in his stride, causing Lucius to stop. "What's there?" Harry asked nodding at a door; He knew he had seen the door before but the manor was too big.

"Oh, that's Draco's study." Lucius said. When he saw Harry's sly smile, he laughed. "Curious?" he asked and laughed again when Harry nodded animatedly. "Draco does not like having anyone in his study without his consent... and do you know what he hates even more: having intruders in his study _with food_- so how about you go in and explore while I go get us some snacks." He finished with a grin.

Harry laughed. "Spoken like a true Slytherin." He commented with a kiss.

Once alone, Harry quietly made his way inside the dark study; he had been here twice after his coma- the day he and Draco almost kissed, and the day he apologised for almost kissing him. He flicked on the light switch and stared dotingly at Draco's portrait that hung over the fireplace like his.

He walked curiously towards the desks and scanned the contents of the drawers; documents, quill, document, quill, stamp, parchment, parchment, mint, document, parchment, document. Harry was about to give up when he opened the last drawer- the second drawer to the left. In it was a green sketchbook with the Malfoy crest in the middle. The first page read in a cursive calligraphy,

_Property of Draco Lucius Malfoy._

The first sketch was that of a rose, followed by a chair, then a very detailed sketch of a garden. When Harry looked at the fourth page, the sketch of a small, dark-haired boy with wide glasses donned in black robes rimmed with maroon stared back at him with the words, 'first year' written below- it took a moment for Harry to realise that that was him in the first year of Hogwarts. The next page also included Harry, though much taller and with longer hair- the words, 'second year' was scrawled at the bottom. Each page contained Harry in every stage of his growth during his days at Hogwarts. Then after the 'eighth year' sketch, the sketches became more and more graphic; Harry was sitting on a bed with nothing but an oversized shirt that fell off his shoulders and pooled at his... well, you get it. The next page had Harry standing in a pond, naked chest up- he had a feeling he was not wearing any trunks either. Harry skipped a few pages before he stopped at a sketch of Harry smiling sweetly and the words 'soul mate' written beside it. Harry skipped some pages again and regrettably found himself staring at a sketch of him and Draco kissing passionately with Harry bent backwards and Draco's hands on his waist and neck.

The room started spinning and Harry dropped the book, leaning on the desk as vertigo held him: he had to get out of there. He could feel his heart beating fast like it did in his bathroom when he fought with Draco and just like before; he tried to call for help but he could not, his breathe coming out is short gasps. He grasped the arm of a nearby chair and tried to go for the door but fell as his head throbbed painfully; flashes of him and Draco popped up here and there- it was too much information.

"Harry?" Lucius voice made him breathe a sigh of relief. "Harry!" He heard the sound of broken glass and then hurried footsteps before he was cradled in Lucius' arms. "What's wrong, love?... are you hurt?... GEMMY! Hold on, Harry." Lucius stammered through his words.

Harry wanted to tell Lucius that he would be okay but the pain in his head increased and he cried in pain then everything went black.

**000**

A certain dungeon bat sat alone in a little room, surrounded by sketches and portraits in different sizes but of the same man, Lucius Malfoy. He was currently working on a painting; Lucius' silvery hair cascaded down his back and shoulders, only the last three buttons of the white shirt was done- showing off the muscled chest underneath, he held up his left hand with a necklace between his fingers, admiring the design- a bleeding heart being squeezed by a large green snake.

Severus was trying to mix the right shade of grey for his eyes when a young blonde barged into his sanctum. "Draco," he drawled. "I don't know about the manor but manners apply in my home... and by manners, I mean knock for god's sake."

Draco seemed to blush. "Sorry uncle Sev but it's important." Severus just hummed for him to continue. "I love Harry."

Those words caused Severus to pause his words and look at his godson. "By George, he's got it." He said dryly.

Draco frowned. "Got what?"

Severus sighed. "It was quite obvious that you _loved _Potter; the way you fawned over him and talked about him again and again... and again. Not to mention you spying on him on a daily basis."

Draco sputtered. "I did not _spy_ on him... I was just... making sure he... stayed out of trouble."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Denial does not suit you, Draco."

Draco turned red and quickly changed the subject. "Who is this George bloke you were talking about?"

Severus shook his head. "Muggle expression: not important." He went back to his work.

Draco walked over to the east wall and slowly examined each piece of art. "Your drawings gives me the creeps..."

"Said the student to the teacher," Severus added dryly without looking up from his work. "That's the last time I'll teach you anything."

Draco smirked and peered closely at the painting of a half-naked Lucius. "Hmm, I never noticed how hot my dad is... which is weird." he commented. "If I didn't know better, I would call you obsessed."

"You might as well," Severus said with the dab of his brush.

Silence.

"Then join me." Draco said. "If we work together, we can both get what we want."

Severus laughed dryly. "As much as I appreciate the offer, I will not be the seed of any Potter-Malfoy related issues. I'd rather just watch from a distance."

"So you're just going to sit there and let him go?" Draco asked incredulously.

Severus put down the brush and sighed. "It's not as simple as you think, Draco."

"No, it very simple; I love Harry, you love father." Draco said matter-of-factly. "All you need to do is tell him."

"And cause more confusion than there is?" Severus shook his head. "Harry just got out of his coma and Lucius just got Harry back... let them be."

Draco's eyes widened. "What do you mean, 'got Harry back'." He asked.

"They reunited this morning." Severus said. "Draco!" he called as his godson started for the door. "We don't know what is going to happen but nevertheless, Lucius and Harry were lovers at some point- let them talk."

Draco stopped, his hand on the knob. "But... what if it happens again?" he asked in a small voice.

"History only repeats itself on one condition: destiny." The older man said wisely.

The blonde spun to face the man. "Use your Legilimency on them again..."

Severus shook his head. "I will not use my ability to increase my sorrow, Draco."

Silence again.

"Severus, I need you to tell me something," Draco said after a few moments. "Do you _really_ love my father?"

Severus bristled. "What are you trying to say, Draco?" he countered.

Draco sighed. "I'm saying that instead of sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself, shouldn't you be out there fighting for him?" all the while, Draco never let go of the handle.

Severus shrugged and said in a tired voice, "Some things are just best left alone, Draco."

"And some things are worth fighting for, uncle." Draco replied and opened the door. "I hate seeing you like this, Severus... at least try." He left.

Severus sighed; he hated making things more complicated than they should be. As much as he agreed with Draco, there was still one question- _Is Lucius really worth fighting for?_

_**A/N:**__ can it get any more dramatic... remember that scene in "Pocahontas" when Pocahontas and John Smith shared their last kiss... now imagine the background music for that scene ('if I never knew you')... well, it popped into my head when I was writing the kissing scene with Harry and Lucius (so touching)... I cried when I was writing it (which is weird but so sweet) *sniff*...__. The next chapter explores how Draco added to this whole love triangle drama... but what about Severus... will he fight for Lucius?... will he win Lucius' love when he is in love with Harry?... wait and see... _

_**NOTICE: **__although over 20 of you guys that are supposedly reading this fic, only a few have bothered to review numerously. Please, please review... don't say to yourself, "I'm sure the next guy will review!"... THEY MAY NOT... I want to build my writing skills; tell me where my weaknesses and strengths lie so that I can become better... tell me how I can improve this fic... I have read many fanfics where authors threatened their readers to review or they would not update their stories... I do not want it to come to that... so I'm __**begging**__ you guys for at least __**FIVE**__ reviews (just a few constructive words)... __**your**__ words could make me the next best selling writer one day..._


	13. Chapter 14

_Hey! Sorry I did not update sooner; my modem ran out so I was stuck reading Japanese short stories until I could fill it back up... but I was also able to write two chapters, so double yay... thank you all those that reviewed and please keep it up... _

_**P.S.**__ know that as I update this story here on I also update it on HP fandom so if you're not interested in this version (as I am editing my chapters to please ), you could just pop over there instead of wasting your time here... keep in mind that, I will update there a few minutes later than here... but don't worry; I'll give you a head's up if any of the chapters have been edited... enjoy!_

_**THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED... CHECK LINK ON PROFILE FOR UNEDITED VERSION!**_

**Warning**: this chapter contains Harry, his camera, Draco, CDs, wine, dancing, John Denver, a kiss (well a lot) and inner battles.

_**Harry's conscience**_

_Harry's thoughts_

CHAPTER 13: LUST

**June 2007**

It has been two month since Harry had been disowned; he still thought of it and cried once in a while but Draco and Lucius always made him feel better. Remus, Ron and Hermione visited him often so it was not so bad.

This evening Harry sat on the couch in Lucius' study; the blonde was away on another business trip and was due back anytime this week. Harry missed him terribly; he would often read the book Hermione gave to him for Christmas or look at photos of himself and Lucius on his camera, just like he was doing at the moment.

"You know," Harry jumped a little at the voice. "You should really get those printed." The owner continue at if he did not notice the jump.

Harry placed a hand on his chest, as if to calm his heart. "Fuck, Draco you scared me."

Draco chuckled. "That shows just how aware you are."

Harry scowled and glanced at the table clock. "You're not supposed to be home this early." He said righting his glasses.

Draco scoffed "I may be a workaholic but that does not mean I don't get tired once in a while." He said matter-of-factly.

"But it's nine o'clock." Harry said.

"So" Draco replied with a shrug.

Harry frowned. "You're home three hours earlier than you normally come home."

Draco raised a brow. "You have been keeping up with my routine." He did not say it as a question.

Harry shrugged albeit his blush. "Four weeks alone and you tend to notice things." And notice, Harry did; he could not help but stare at the beautiful blonde in front of him whose navy blue turtle neck stretched over the broad chest and dark slacks tightened in the _right_ places. His silver hair was smoothed back except for a few stray locks that fell around his face- Harry craved to reach out and tuck them behind an... _what the fuck!_

Harry looked away when he felt his cheeks getting hotter. _Bloody hell, I didn't think I was __**that**__ lonely._ "Did something happen at work?" he asked quickly, trying to distract himself.

"Nope." Draco said non-committed. "I wanted to have some fun with a friend; you see, he locks himself up, pinning. It's pretty sad- I think he needs a break."

Harry looked back. "What is Snape pinning after?"

Draco chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I meant _you_, Harry." He started strolling towards the couch. "You _really_ need to get out more; it's not healthy locking yourself up and looking at old pictures like some starved housewife."

"Hey!" Harry protested, jumping up. "I'm not locking myself up and I am _not_ a housewife!"

"So just _starved_ then?" Draco asked with a sly smile.

"No..." Harry said hotly. "I just miss him, that's all." He finished softly.

"Well, Dad is going to travel often," Draco almost scoffed at the brunet. "Which is why you must find a way to entertain yourself." He then grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him for the door. "I have just the perfect solution."

Harry did not protest- he was curious and honestly, quite bored. He allowed Draco to lead him down the corridor and into his study. Draco then released his hand and strolled towards a painting of Hermes, it swung open to reveal a safe and after Draco had punched in the combination, he pulled out a CD and the DVD player they had used for movie night.

Harry smiled. "I was wondering where that went to?"

Draco carried both items towards his desk. "Maybe we can have movie night tomorrow."

Harry smiled. "I would like that."

Draco smiled back and for a moment, time stopped for both of them- but only for a moment; Harry looked away, causing Draco to blink as if waking up from a dream. "Gemmy!" he called, the elf appeared with a pop. "Bring out some wine." With a nod and another pop, the elf disappeared. Draco slipped in the CD and turned on the player; Harry was astounded when 'Thank God I'm a Country Boy' started playing.

"John Denver," Harry said with a smirk. "Really?"

"Oh, is that his name?" Draco asked. "I heard it once when I was in a cafe."

Harry picked up the CD and inspected it, "It's blank." He observed.

"Yeah, I gathered all the songs I loved and had Seamus put them all in a CD for me." Draco explained and then hummed the chorus. "It's brilliant!"

Harry only laughed. "I didn't pin you for a country lover."

Draco shrugged. "I hate the genre but I love this song." He said, walking up to Harry and twirled him. "Dance with me!"

Although Harry was a bit hesitant at first, after the first few glasses of wine, he and Draco danced and danced. Two hours later, Harry and Draco (well, mostly Harry with Draco being a bit sober) were stumbling to Abba's 'When I Kissed the Teacher'.

As the song faded out Harry asked. "Are you sure that teacher's not a pedophile or something?" he scoffed as Draco laughed loudly. "Seriously, no responsible teacher smiles when a student kisses him, and in front of the class for that matter."

Draco could not stop laughing. "Are... you sure... you're not... a house-... housewife?" he gasped in between laughs.

Harry huffed. "You can laugh all you want but I am making sense." He went to pour himself another glass of wine.

"Sorry, Harry." Draco slowly stopped his guffaw. "I don't think you should take another glass... I wouldn't want father to think I turned you into an alcoholic." He gently took Harry's glass from him.

"But you said we could have fun." Harry whined with a pout.

"Harry, you're drunk." Draco could not help but smile at how adorable Harry looked. "How about we dance to one more song and then call it a day."

"Awww but I don't want to go to bed." Harry whined in a childish manner.

Draco sighed and asked. "Would you prefer if you went to bed _now_?" Harry shook his head. "Then I suggest you should feel lucky that I am letting you have one more dance."

Draco went to pop in the second CD as Harry mumbled. "Killjoy."

"I heard that." Draco called with a smirk but Harry shrugged.

"I cannot tell a lie." The brunet said in mock retribution, placing a hand on his chest and raising the other.

Draco shook his head. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood, Potter."

"Oh?" Harry said raising a dark brow. "And what would happen, pray tell, if you were in a bad mood, Malfoy?"

As the player was resetting, Draco practically stalked towards Harry with a dangerous glint in his eyes and stopped a few inches from him. "I would make you feel uncomfortable... through speech or... through _action_," As fast as lightening (well it was to Harry's sluggish brain), Draco grabbed the hand that had rested on Harry's chest while Draco's other hand wrapped itself around the thin waist and pulled the other's body closer. "Like this." Draco purred those words in Harry's ear, causing him to shiver.

A sweet melody drifted into the room from the player.

_You're in my arms  
>And all the world is calm<br>The music playing on for only two  
>So close together<br>And when I'm with you  
>So close to feeling alive...<br>_

Draco leaned back a little to look at Harry's face. "This is the part where we start dancing, Harry." He whispered.

"R-right." Harry blinked and blushed a little while his other hand rested on Draco's shoulder.

_A life goes by  
>Romantic dreams will stop<br>So I bid mine goodbye and never knew..._

Draco and Harry moved slowly but gracefully to the song (thanks to Draco's dancing skills). Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulder and Draco held Harry tighter as he sang along with the artist.

_So close was waiting, waiting here with you  
>And now forever I know<br>All that I wanted to hold you  
>So close...<em>

Harry breathed in Draco's scent and sighed: lemongrass and apples- it was refreshing; _this is just perfect... Draco always knows how to take my mind of... Holy Fuck!... Lucius is away and here I am snuggling up with Draco... but it's not bad... I mean, we are just dancing right... then why do I feel so giddy..._

_So close to reaching that famous happy end  
>Almost believing this was not pretend...<br>_

Harry made to pull away from Draco but for some reason their eyes locked; Harry did not know who moved first but their lips were now against each other and they were kissing passionately. _Draco! Draco! Draco! __**Lucius...**__ Fuck! Lucius!_

Harry quickly pulled away. "Draco, I... I'm so sorry... I- I don't know what came over-"

Draco silenced Harry with another kiss and when Harry opened his mouth to protest, Draco's tongue slipped in, causing Harry to moan and pull Draco closer. His brain had a huge 'SCREW IT' neon sign stamped on it.

_And now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
>So far we are so close...<em>

They stumbled across the room and soon Harry was on the desk with his legs wrapped around Draco's waist and his hands in the blonde hair while Draco continued to kiss Harry passionately as his deft fingers started to unbutton Harry's shirt.

Draco pulled back. "Harry." He purred then attacked his neck with kisses and small nips, causing Harry to moan and his head to fall back, giving better access. Soon, Harry's shirt was undone but not pulled off, it stopped at his elbows as Draco worshiped every area of his shoulders, collarbone and nipples with licks and kisses. Harry's breath quickened as Draco got closer to the uncomfortable tightness in his pants.

_How could I face the faceless days  
>If I should lose you now?<br>_

_**HARRY JAMES POTTER!**_ Harry opened his eyes lazily and he could almost see that mental neon sign flicker. _**WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? Here you are snogging Draco Malfoy while LUCIUS (remember him?) is away on a business trip... working... and thinking of YOU, I'm sure. Now get your fucking libido under control and STOP THIS! **_

Harry blinked as if a spell had been lifted; he looked down just in time to see Draco close his mouth around him. Harry saw stars and he bucked with careless abandon into the warm cavern until he came hard.

_**Now you've done it! I hope you're happy, Harry... you officially cheated on Lucius.**_

Harry was coming down from his high when Draco kissed him again; Harry was caught in the kiss for a moment before he pulled back and shoved hard against Draco before it went too far.

They both stared at each other before Harry whispered. "Oh, God what have I done?"

_We're so close  
>To reaching that famous happy end...<br>_

"Harry?" Draco walked towards Harry and kissed him again but Harry shoved once more.

"Draco stop!" He yelled as he zipped up his fly and climbed off the table. "How could you, Draco... I was drunk and you took advantage of me!" he righted his shirt.

Draco shook his head to clear his lust-fogged mind and moved towards the distraught brunet. "Harry, I'm didn't mea-"

Harry cut him off with a punch. "Stay the fuck away from me!" he yelled. He started walking out of the study but Draco grabbed his wrist. "I said, fuck off!" Harry swung with his free hand but Draco caught it easily, the dangerous glint was back in his eyes but this time, it scared Harry. _**What a perfect time to get drunk, Potter.**_ Harry growled in his head. _You shut up!_ "Let me go!" Harry yelled at Draco as he struggled.

"No." Draco said, firmly. "I have been wanting to do that for a long time, Harry... I was the one you were meant to be with not _him_."

Harry paused; his brain was too sluggish to grasp what Draco was saying quickly. "Are you crazy?" he struggled again. "Let me go, Draco!"

"NO!" Draco pushed Harry towards the wall behind him and pinned him there. "I love you, Harry Potter! I've always loved you... you were supposed to be mine but he came and took you away... I promise you, I will fight to get you back... I SWEAR!"

Harry managed to get one of his hands free and then he slapped Draco with a resounding smack. "I am not some prize to be won... I am a human being... but you, Draco, are a heartless, selfish soul who cares about nobody but himself!"

_And almost believing this was not pretend  
>Let's go on dreaming for we know we are...<em>

"Are you trying to tell me you felt nothing at all, Harry!" Draco yelled back. Harry's opened his mouth to protest. "Because, if you say you didn't then you are a liar... I know you felt something, Harry."

Harry closed his mouth and looked down in defeat. _I did... I felt something... but I can't just leave Lucius... but I want Draco as well... I have wanted him since Hogwarts... then the war and Ginny came along... and then Lucius... Lucius loves me and I don't want to lose him because of some school crush... but Draco is everything I... but so is Lucius... __**Potter, you are officially fucked.**_

"Draco," Harry said with a small, broken voice. "What happened here was a mistake... I'm sorry if you think I led you on but... but I... I just..." Harry pulled his other hand out of Draco's grasps and ran out of the study.

Draco rubbed his still red cheek, walked towards his desk and sat down on his chair. _I'll get you, Harry... I'll win you back._ He promised silently.

The song started to fade out.

_So close  
>So close<br>And still so far..._

***A/N: that song is titled, 'So Close' by Jon McLaughlin... short but very lovely...**

**000**

**Present Day**

When Draco came back from Snape Manor, the Malfoy Manor was as quiet as a graveyard; Gemmy had told him about Harry's collapse and went to St. Mungo's to visit but no matter how much he tried, his father and Sirius would not let him near Harry.

Two days later, Draco sat alone in his study, reminiscing the day he and Harry first kissed; he nursed a glass of fire whiskey in his hand, stretched out on his couch. _I hope Harry's okay..._ he thought grimly. Sirius had 'insisted' that Harry should be moved back to Grimmuald Place, as he was concerned for Harry's health. Draco huffed, _concerned for Harry's health my a-_

"Draco." Said man jumped, resulting in him falling off the couch and staining his shirt with the drink. Lucius scowled in his direction but said nothing.

"Father." Draco said, getting up quickly and casting a cleaning spell on himself. "Is Harry alright? What happened; you haven't said a word to me since I got back."

Lucius merely produced the green sketchbook, strolled to the desk and flung it on the table with a loud bang. "Explain." Was all the Malfoy Patriarch said.

Draco paled when he spotted the book. "Where did you get that?" He asked in a shaky voice.

"I was the one who asked the question, Draco." Lucius said in a voice so calm that even Voldemort himself would shiver a little. "And I expect an answer."

Draco still stared at the book, putting the pieces together. "Harry saw my sketches." He said to no one in particular.

"And they were delightful," Lucius said in a tone laced with sarcasm. "But why, pray tell, are they of my half naked partner?"

"You weren't supposed to be here." Draco said, he then looked up from the book to glare at his father. "Why were you in my study?"

"I wasn't." Lucius almost yelled. "Harry was and now you and your filthy portraits of my partner shocked him into another, as Hermione calls it, 'Memory Sleep'. I just got him back!"

Draco looked perplexed. "How dare you blame me!" he shouted. "If anyone is to be blamed, it's you; you knew that my study was off-limits and you knew that I loved him but yet you still took him without a second thought of your son's feelings. Now you chastise me for expressing my feelings for him!"

"Expressing you feelings?" Lucius said. "Expressing your _feelings_?" he grabbed the book and revealed a very detailed sketch of Harry's naked body. "_This_ is not love, Draco- this is lust!" he threw the book back on the table as if it had burnt him. "This was not how I raised you."

"You're right," Draco said. "You raised me to assert myself in the most honourable manner and yet you contradict yourself- you're the one who lusted after Harry, not me."

"HOW DARE YOU!" Lucius roared but Draco held his ground and continued.

"You just wanted a plaything to take your mind off mother!" Draco clasped his hand to his mouth as soon as those words left it.

Lucius opened his mouth to reply but closed it and smiled. "Do you want to know what love is?" with the snap of his fingers, the book lit up in flames.

"NO!" Draco snapped his fingers, trying to cease the flames but it kept burning. He brought out his wand and pointed it to the blackening book. "_Aquamenti_!" a spray of water shot out of the wand towards the burning object but before it could make contact, it flowed upwards and showered down, falling around the book in a convex manner- a shield. "NO! STOP IT!"

"Love, Draco," Lucius said. "Is protecting the ones you love by destroying _anything_ that would hurt them... no matter how small it may be."

"_Expelliarmus_!" Draco roared and Lucius was thrown across the room, resulting in the flames dying. Draco ran toward his sketchbook and inspected its remains; it was still in one piece, however each page was blackened to nothingness. "No..."

"You are letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Draco," Lucius got up and smiled. "Reason, if Harry loves you like you think he does, we wouldn't be having this conversation... so do not blame me because you were too insecure to approach Harry first."

"Harry _does_ love me." Draco declared. "He just doesn't want to hurt your feelings... and ego." Lucius bristled at that. "Harry lost everything to defeat Voldemort; everyone that ever loved him died and those who were supposed to love him, treated him like dirt. You strategized like this was just some game- you knew that Harry would cling to whoever gave him affection."

"Are you implying that I do not love Harry? That I am playing him?" Lucius growled.

"Haven't you been listening to me?" Draco scoffed. "You may be _old_ but I know you are not deaf!"

With a growl and the wave of his hand, Lucius bounded Draco and levitated him before his son could fall. Draco hovered a few inches from Lucius. "I will only tell you this once; believe what you may, Draco but I love Harry... if you are too blind to see that, then so be it... but if you do anything that will hurt Harry again: I. Will. Get. You."

"You're one to talk," Draco scowled. "You wouldn't know love if it fucked you senseless." Lucius opened his mouth to speak but Draco beat him to it. "You think you're a know it all but you aren't; did you ever think of the one person that loved you no matter what you did or said, who stood beside you and fought by your side for years."

Lucius shook his head. "As much as I loved your mother, Draco she is dea-"

"I am not talking about mother!" Draco shouted.

Lucius frowned "Then who?" Draco was gently lowered to the ground and the ropes around him disappeared.

"Why don't you figure it out; surely you are not _that_ inattentive." Draco said, stalking out of the study but he stopped at the door. "A little reminder; Harry is no longer bound to you... he will be confused about his feelings... he may even choose me this time... so try to get over it." With that, he silently left.

Lucius frowned at his son's retreating back in thought, _Who was he talking about?_ Then his eyes widened and he shook his head. _It can't be him- not Severus... it was years ago... I don't think he does... but do I?_


	14. Chapter 15

**Warning:** this chapter contains POVs, a rare flower, mild OOCness, Draco, a Death Eater (can't be HP without one), potions and non-con (non-graphic).

CHAPTER 14: DYING LOVE AND FIRESLEEP

**A little over 20 years ago...**

**Lucius POV**

This is a disaster; father and mother said I am betrothed to a lady of the noble house of Black- they have even selected my bride-to-be. Father said I am old enough to start a family and create an heir to continue the line; he started this speech about how he already had a son at my age.

_Well, father that was then and this is now: I am eighteen for Merlin's sake, don't you think I am old enough to chose who I want to marry._ I would have said that to him if it did not warrant a slap. Apparently, father did not approve of the ladies I courted in the past.

So let me ask you- what do you think father would say if I told him I am already in love? "Oh, very good, my boy; is she of a decent, pure-blooded family?" I could practically see his eyes twinkle a bit- just a bit- while he says that.

All right, let's proceed to the next question- what do you think father would say if the person I loved was not pureblooded? "You know, Lucius that we will only marry those of pure blood- nothing less." That answer was obvious.

Now, here is the tricky part- what do you think father would say if the person I loved was not a _she_? Silence that would convey father's disappointment and anger; He probably would not talk to me until... "I come to my senses."

Now this is the hardest question (I implore you not to laugh)- what do you think father would say if the person I loved was Severus Snape?

You don't know? Well, neither do I; but I am fairly certain that something or someone will burn- whether it is literally or metaphorically is up to father.

The first time I saw Severus I remember pausing and just staring at him; his hair fell around his face like a dark curtain, his dark eyes held a spark of danger in them and his lips looked absolutely delectable as he chewed nervously on it. I sound like a love-struck schoolgirl, don't I? (I hope you're not laughing).

It was the first day of potions in my first year; I failed that class-work because I stirred my potion for too long. However, the professor was gracious enough to pair me up with Severus so that he could teach me the proper way of making the perfect potion. At first Severus was shy and would not so much as looked at me until one faithful day; I turned that Potter into a goose for taunting Severus and as I was serving detention, the professor in charge- whose name is inconsequential to remember- left me to my own devices. Imagine my surprise when Severus sneaked into detention just to thank me.

Since then, we have practically been brothers; he told me about his life with his abusive father- which made mine look like a saint compared to his. I comforted him when he needed a shoulder to cry on and he did the same for me. I did not realise I actually loved Severus until the reality of my predicament slapped me in the face one morning; I have a feeling that marrying a stranger in the name of some pure blood tradition is not my cup of tea.

Now, that I'm in my final year at Hogwarts, I have to chose... "Marry a Lady Black or lose everything." My father had said sternly to me. But do you know how I translate it? "Be with a total stranger or be with the one you love." I chose the second; riches are not worth more than my love for him but before I jump to conclusions and throw away my life, I must ask myself... does Severus love me?

**000**

Tonight is when I meet the infamous Narcissa Black AKA my bride-to-be. Tonight is also the night I tell Severus how I feel about him; my heart is beating so fast, I can practically taste the adrenaline, my palms are sweaty (Malfoys don't sweat!) and I can't stop pacing (damn these emotions).

I pick up my gift for Severus; the rare Dying Love flower- its petals are black and wilted; to an untrained eye, the plant is nothing but a burnt reminder of what it once may have been but to me, it is very much alive. The flower was designed to show it's owner his true love- I admit it sounds cliché but what is a desperate man to do- if you and your significant other were to touch this plant, it's petals shall brighten into a deep red blossom: the darker the hue, the stronger the love. Only three of these flowers exist today due to their charred appearance; I have been saving up for it since the day I realised I was in love (it helped being a Malfoy).

Father had excused me from school so that I may formally introduce myself to Narcissa- Dumbledore did not mind since graduation is a week away. However, I am going to sneak into the school and speak to Severus first; if my love is requited, we will run away together. I make my way downstairs quietly then freeze when I hear the laughter of strangers. They are here early! I grind my teeth and growl at my mother's impromptu thinking. No matter, I can still try to escape; I cast a silencing charm on my shoes and sprint down the stairs. I can make it, I can make it, I can make...

...I bumped into someone when I turned the corner but I managed to right myself before I made a fool of myself and fall over. I looked up and was about to snarl at their incompetence but I stopped, my mouth open mid-protest.

In front of me was the most beautiful lady I had ever had the pleasure of meeting; her hair was fair but not as pale as mine, her bow shaped mouth was pulled up in a sweet smile and her blue eyes contained so much life, it made me want to sing.

"Oh, pardon me." She said politely. "I was absentminded for a moment."

At this point, I had closed my mouth and smiled back. "No, the fault was mine I-"

Suddenly, she gasped and looked at my bundle. "Is that a Dying Love flower?" she asked, her eyes wide.

I blinked. "Yes." I said, silently praying that she would not touch it, as my love seemed to weaver a bit.

"Amazing," she beamed at the flower like a mother who has just found her long-lost child. "I never thought I'd see one- they are so rare." She continued to stare at it while I stood there awkwardly; after a moment, I cleared my throat. "Oh, sorry I have not introduced myself; my name is Narcissa Black. What's yours?"

Right then, a corner of my heart that roomed my love for Severus shattered and was replaced by a tiny piece for Narcissa. God why didn't you make her ugly?

"I am Lucius Malfoy." I said, shifting again.

"Ah," Narcissa said as she looked at the floor. "I guess you know I am your betrothed."

I nodded.

"I am delaying you." She said.

I frowned. "Delaying me?" I asked. She chuckled and pointed at the flower. "Oh, yes I was on my way to quickly visit a friend."

Her eyes seemed to lose her spark and her smiled waned slightly. "Well, your friend is very lucky if you are gifting her with a flower as rare as that." I could feel her disappointment in those words; I deduce she knows the flower's significance. "I guess I will see you later... don't worry I will cover for you." She turned and started to walk away.

"WAIT!" I called loudly. I do not know what possessed me to call her but I hope she doesn't turn aro- oh Merlin, she turned around. "I... um... actually got this for... you." I don't know what possessed me to say that either but I could feel my legs moving towards her with my hands outstretched.

Her eyes widened. "Really?" she reached to touch it and I did not pull back. I think I was possessed with a sudden jolt of curiosity because as she touched the bloom, it quickly brightened into a pink blossom- the hue symbolizes friendship. She gasped and looked up with a bright smile. "Thank you." She said warmly.

"You're- you're welcome." I stuttered and gave a sheepish smile.

Normally I refrain from using crude vernacular but I must say, I am so fucked!

**000**

"Severus?" I whisper harshly as I quietly crept around the astronomy tower. "Severus." I called again.

The door suddenly swung open to reveal a red-faced and panting Severus Snape; he even looked more beautiful up close. "Sorry," he said between gasps and leaned on the wall. "Potter again."

I growled at the name. "I swear I will get that prat one day." I said hotly. He bullies someone smaller than himself, using an excuse as idiotic as his house: how juvenile.

Severus laughed. "Did you just call Potter a prat?" he asked and laughed louder as I blushed. "Merlin, I think Lestrang is rubbing off on you." I just shook my head and chuckled. "Is there a reason why you wanted to meet me so late?" he finally asked.

I shifted again (damn these legs of mine!). "I... met my bride-to-be." I said lowly.

His smile disappeared and I saw something flicker in his eyes for a minuscule of a second before he asked. "Who is the lucky girl?"

Hesitation. "Narcissa Black." I said, unable to look at him.

Silence.

Silence? I felt a bubble of hope warm my chest as I felt Severus' eyes look at me critically.

Then he finally said. "I am happy for you Lucius."

The bubble burst.

**000**

**Severus POV**

I am not happy; I know Narcissa Black, she is the most unlikely Slytherin to walk the earth- she would have fared better in Hufflepuff. I tried my best to stay as cheerful as possible. "So when is the wedding?" I asked.

The beautiful blonde looked up from the floor; I could tell he was nervous about something because Malfoys do not fidget... "Two months after graduation." He said lowly.

I sense disappointment from him but I quickly brushed it away. "Congratulations." I said with a false smile. I do not know why I am angry; it was meant to happen eventually- it's not like Lucius Malfoy would love someone like me- especially me.

"I wanted to ask you something," Lucius said suddenly and I cocked my head, waiting for him to continue. Could this be it? Could he actually feel for me the way I feel for him? "Would you be my best man?" he asked with a shy smile.

I guess not. "Me really?" I asked. Although I was flattered he asked me, I really did not want to watch the man I love marry someone else.

Lucius chuckled again. "Of course," he said incredulously. "I can't have a wedding without my brother." So that's what I was to him: a brother.

"I would be happy to, Lucius." I said. I was suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. "Sorry to run off like this but I really must be getting back to my potion." My voice started to shake.

Lucius gave a louder guffaw. "You and your potions." He said and I laughed a little.

"Yeah, me and my potions." I parroted. I started for the door when I felt the first tear start to gather at the corner of my eye. "Goodbye." I walked out quickly, I will not let him see how defeated I have become.

**000**

**Present Day **

Harry woke up to a dark, stuffy room; at first he was startled because he did not know where he was but then when he recognised the wallpaper, he mumbled. "Grimmuald Place."

"You're awake." Harry looked up at the owner of the voice. Lucius Malfoy lay on the bed beside him. "How do you feel?"

"Lucius?" Harry shook his head and sat up while Lucius placed his glasses in his hand. The brunet frowned as he remembered. "I remember looking at pictures of me and Draco..." he trailed off and looked up at Lucius.

"Harry, it's okay." Lucius said.

Harry turned to face Lucius completely and frowned. "I cheated on you."

"You made a mistake, Harry." Lucius said with a small smile. "I understand that you may feel the urge to pursue younger-"

"But I don't want anyone else!" Harry yelled. He straddled the older man's hips and kissed him deeply. "I want only you." Harry pulled him in for another kiss. _I can't believe I cheated on him... after all he did for me... so dirty... Sirius was right; I __**am**__ a slut... I'll make it up to him..._ Harry started to unbutton Lucius' robes as he grinded into the blonde groin.

Lucius groaned into the kiss; his fingers caressed the tone back before they crept under the shirt. He could feel himself get hard at the younger man's action; oh, how he wanted to ravish him and make love to him right now but before it got too far, he gripped Harry's shoulders and pulled back.

The brunet was breathing hard; his lips were red from Lucius' nips, his glasses had slid to the tip of his nose and his eyes were hazy. "What is it?" Harry asked. Lucius just looked at him with a sad smile so Harry decided to dive in for another kiss.

Lucius held firm. "No Harry, you don't need to do that."

"But I want to." Harry said as he struggled to escape the vice-like grip. "I betrayed you and your trust... please, I just-" Harry started unbuckling Lucius' belt and he thrust his hand into the trousers.

"No, Harry," Lucius protested but Harry continued, so Lucius grabbed the thin wrists in his hands and pinned Harry on the bed. "Harry stop!"

Harry seemed to be in a crazed trance; he bucked and screamed and kicked and bit the blonde- the guilt and shame made his blood boil. "Lucius I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... it just happened... please forgive me... don't hate me..." His eyes flew around the room and was glazed over as he muttered those words over and over.

Lucius was getting scared now. "Harry, listen to me!" that outburst stopped the chants and Harry's eyes focused on him. "I don't hate you, Harry... I still love you... but I understand that a relationship with an older man may not have been the best step for a spirited youth such as yourself... I won't hate you if you wanted to be with Draco now... I wouldn't love you any less if you feel that our relationship is not working." Lucius slowly loosened his grip on Harry and placed a kiss on the brunet's forehead. "Whatever decision you make, Harry I will always love you." He stood up and left the room.

Harry continued staring at the ceiling. _What a life you have, Harry Potter._ He thought bitterly. _What a life you have._

**000**

**Malfoy Manor (Draco's study)**

Draco Malfoy was in a sour mood; not only was his sketchbook reduced to nothing, Harry was back with his father and his hangover would not let up. _Bloody fire whisky, bloody headache, bloody father... I need a drink! _He made his way over to his desk, picked up the half-full bottle of fire whisky and...

"Draco?"

The bottle slipped from Draco's startled grip and shattered when it hit the table. "Bloody Hell, have you ever heard of..." he trailed off when he saw Harry leaning on the doorpost with a smirk.

"You should seriously reduce your alcohol intake." He said smugly.

"Harry, you're awake!" Draco cried as he charmed away the mess on his desk.

Harry chuckled. "Thank you, captain obvious." He said with a roll of his eyes. "That shows just how aware you are."

Draco could not help but feel a strange sense of déjà vu. "H-how are you, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "I remembered our first kiss thanks to your sketches." He said dryly.

Draco sighed. "Harry, I'm so sorry about that day; I was selfish and desperate... but... but I meant it when I said I love you."

Harry's face softened at that. "Why didn't you just tell me."

It was Draco's turn to shrug. "In case you haven't noticed, I am not very good at sharing my feelings." He paused. "I fell in love with you since the first day I met you but I was too scared to approach you... I mean, you are Harry bloody Potter, hero of the Wizarding world and I am the son of former Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy- doesn't really encourage one to pursue the other."

Silence.

Harry stepped into the room and stalked towards Draco. "Draco?" he said tentatively. "I am going to be honest with you... I had a crush on you back in Hogwarts." Draco's eyes widened. "But I assumed that since you didn't ask me out first, that you were not interested... now that I know about your intentions towards me, I need to make sure about _my_ intentions..." _Lucius forgive me._

"And how are you goi-" Harry shut Draco up with a kiss. At first the blonde was too startled to respond but a swipe of Harry's tongue on his lips snapped him back to reality; he opened his mouth to allow Harry access and soon, both were battling for dominance, which Draco won. Harry groaned as his hands snaked up to wrap around the blonde's neck while Draco gripped Harry's hips firmly.

When they pulled back, both were breathing heavily with their hair dishevelled and their lips red. "Well?" Draco asked between pants as he lost himself in those green depts.

Harry shook his head. "I think I love you." Draco smiled at that and planted small kisses on Harry's neck. "Draco, wait." Harry protested, the kisses stopped. "I love Lucius as well." He said in a small voice.

"Neither of us are willing to share, Harry." Draco said.

"I know Draco," Harry replied with a frustrated sigh: he placed his head on Draco's shoulder. "I need to think."

Draco placed a kiss on Harry's head and rubbed small circles on his back. "Take all the time you need."

**000**

**Later That Afternoon...**

Harry's room was littered with his attempts on sorting out his confused feelings for both Malfoys; lists containing the pros and cons of dating each Malfoy filled up the bin to an extent that Harry did not even bother throwing them in the bin's general direction. Flower petals were shattered by the window sill as Harry performed 'He loves me, he loves me not' on each respective one.

After the last petal, Harry sat and stared out the window, thinking. _What would life had been like if Lucius had not asked to court me... I guess I would be with Draco... but then who would he have been with... he may still pursue me even after Draco had gotten me first... could this be how I got amnesia; we argued, I went for a walk and then got attacked?... no, Sirius said it was partly the reason... _

_**Think Harry; why did you fall in love with Lucius?**_

_Because he takes care of me and makes me feel safe... he always makes sure I am comfortable with everything we do... he guides me and makes sure I am doing the right thing... he understands me, he knows what it's like to lose someone you love..._

_**Why did you fall in love with Draco?**_

_Because he makes me feel alive... he keeps me on my toes and even though at the end of the day, he ends up protecting me... I have loved him since-_ Harry frowned. _To be honest, I don't know when I fell in love with him... it just happened; rivalry grew to friendship which in turn grew into love..._

_**Which begs the question- would you rather feel alive or safe?**_

_You're my conscience... you tell me... do your job... guide me..._

_**Even you know that I can only guide you when you've made a decision... I cannot make the decision for you... I don't have ALL the answers, Harry...**_

"You suck!" Harry growled and then buried his face in his hand.

"They say speaking to yourself is the first sign of madness." A voice said.

Harry gave a dry laugh. "If I didn't know better I would have said you were in the same room with me." he then looked up and blushed furiously. "Oh, hey Severus."

The potions master's face was placid. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Potter." Severus said.

_How did he get into my room...? I'm sure my door was locked_. Harry stood up and shifted awkwardly, he felt like he was back at Hogwarts. "May I help you?" Harry asked.

Severus scoffed. "I believe it is _I_ who is to help you." He produced an orange tinged potion from his robes. "Lucius told me you were a little upset this morning and he requested that I bring this to you."

Harry looked down at the floor in shame. "Thank you, Severus I'll take it later."

The man took a threatening step towards Harry. "I'm afraid you must take it immediately," he said. "I have to administer the dosage."

Harry frowned. "It's alright, you don't need to," He replied, feeling a bit uneasy in the man's presence- he wanted to get away as soon as possible. "Just tell me what to do and I'll-"

"NO!" Severus barked and then cleared his throat. "This is a delicate potion that must be taken with care; I do not want to poison The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice." He continued softly.

Harry raised a surprised brow. _This can't be good._ "It's nice to know you care about me, _Severus_." He said with a pretentious smile. "But you know what? I feel fine, I don't think I'll even need that potion." _Take it! Take the bait!_ Harry casually thrust his hand into his pocket and gripped his wand.

"Oh," Severus said, putting the potion away. "Well, I that case... _Diffindo!"_

Harry pulled out his wand and ducked just before the angry looking spell hit him. "_Expelliarmus!"_

Severus dodged the attack and faced the short brunet; both had their wands pointed at each other.

"Who are you?" Harry asked.

The Severus look alike smiled before his appearance changed; long dark hair retreated into the skull until it was a russet buzz cut, the hooked nose straightened and a nose ring rose up to the surface like a lump of meat in a broth while obsidian eyes faded into hazel. The lean figure that was once Severus Snape was now bulky and very muscular.

"What gave me away?" the stranger asked.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows Severus Snape wouldn't even give me a glass of water if my hair were on fire." He said matter-of-factly. "Besides, he never goes this far into a conversation without an insult." Harry looked him over. "Your appearance changed too fast for a ployjuice potion, so I'm going you guess... Metamorphmagus?" The stranger nodded. "Death Eater?" The stranger nodded again. "Just my luck." Harry muttered with a sigh. "_Petrificus Totalus!_" a stream of purple shot out of his wand.

The Death Eater muttered something and yelled, "_Protego!_" Harry's spell ricocheted and raced towards the brunet who was too stunned to move quick enough- resulting in a frozen Harry Potter.

The Death Eater laughed. "Do you like it?" he asked with a cloying smile. "I invented that spell; just whisper a little elasticity charm and voila, your enemy are falling by their own hands."

Harry could only watch as the tall man strolled casually towards him. "Ah, Harry Potter." He ran his fingers over Harry's cheek. "I can see why you're the most eligible bachelor in the Wizarding World: you're quite stunning." He frowned and took off Harry's glasses. "That's better... well, for me anyways." He let the spectacles drop before reaching for his wand and tossing it behind him. "What do you say to a round between the sheets?" Harry gave a glare that said, 'Don't even think about it'. The Death Eater smacked himself on his forehead. "Of course, I didn't introduce myself; Romulus Hector Syracuse the third." He gave a small bow and looked at Harry expectantly.

_Am I supposed to know him?_ Harry continued to glare. _Someone is full of himself... _

Romulus cleared his throat awkwardly and straightened, "Anyway, let's get down to business, shall we?" he produced the orange potion again. "Don't worry about your family; unlike those savages, I kill only those I _need_ to kill... unless someone gets in my way, of course... the werewolf and the elf would be asleep for a while; your godfather should not have left you _this_ vulnerable." He uncorked the potion and brought the rim to Harry's lips before pulling it back. "I think we can have some fun with this, can't we?" he said with a smirk before pouring the potion into his mouth. Before Harry could comprehend why he did that, he was released from his spell and Romulus' lips were against Harry's; he forced the brunet's mouth open and feed him the potion orally. His muscular physique allowed him to hold on to Harry albeit the frantic kicks he received.

Harry tried to break free but the more he struggled the tighter the huge hands gripped his elbows and soon, he was running out of air so he had no choice but to swallow the saliva-laced potion or risk passing out.

Romulus pulled away and smiled as Harry coughed. "Yummy." He said licking off the excess that started to dribble down his chin.

Harry could feel his legs going weak and his hazy view of the room start to spin a little. The grip on his arms loosened and Harry feel to the floor, his legs no longer heading to his command. Then the pain started; his chest burned, his throat burned but he could not scream. _Stop it!... Stop! It burns!... Lucius!... Draco!... Help me!_

"That, my little mignon, was Firesleep potion: another creation of mine," Romulus said. "It's fast...You can feel the pain now, can't you? Don't worry, it'll be over soon and then you'll go to _sleep_." He cooed. The Death Eater pulled Harry up and brought him close until they were flush against each other. "Something tells me you wouldn't mind that round now?"

Harry could only gasp as he was lifted and carried to the bed; since his legs were now AWOL, he tried to punch the man but they were made feeble by the potion. His vision was getting darker and Harry could feel himself slowing being disconnected from his body. _No! God, no!_

He blinked once: he was on his bed.

He blinked again: Romulus had just divested him of his trousers.

Blink: Romulus was slowly stroking himself hard.

Blink: he felt fingers inside him.

Blink: Romulus positioned himself at his entrance and bent down to whisper in his ear. "This is for Edith."

Blink: Pain like he has never felt before.

"Harry." He heard someone whisper his name.

Blink: Darkness...

_**A/N:**__ um... yeah... you must hate me for stopping there, right?... don't worry, it'll get better...ish... Why do I have to rape Harry?... I didn't okay; Romulus did... Harry can't help being hot... who is Edith?... hold on... sorry if this chapter seems short... I want to put up as many chapters as possible before the next term starts... next chapter shows what really happened the day Harry was attacked... stay tuned and give me like __**eight**__ reviews to make it extra saucy..._


	15. Chapter 16

_Hello readers... sorry for updating so late (I should probably have said I will update in a week)... my exam results are out and I did so well I could dance... I re-read the last chapter I posted... it was crap... sorry for making you go through those rushed scenes... I'll make it up to you... _

_**NOTICE:**__ As promised, this chapter got saucy lemon time... that means you should probably go to HP fandom to read an unedited version of this chapter... however, I will update the HP fandom version in about a day or two coz of technical difficulties (my laptop's a bitch)... please just bare with this version for now and enjoy!_

**Warning:** this chapter contains the longest flashback I have ever written (possibility of forgetting actual setting), lemonesque scene, a letter, Draco and more betrayal.

CHAPTER 15: LATE IN THE EVENING

**September 2007**

No words could describe how happy Harry was today; he paced around the living room, waiting for Lucius to come home. The Medi-witch said he should not stress himself but he was sure the adrenaline coursing through his veins would make up for it.

***FLASHBACK***

**June 2007**

Lucius returned from his business trip three days ago; although Lucius had tried to engage in sexual activities with him, Harry would either make up an excuse or say, "I'm not in the mood". Harry was still guilty about himself and Draco; he knows he should tell Lucius but that would mean answering questions he did not have the answers to- 'Do you love Draco?' was the most difficult question he could not answer now.

"Harry what's wrong?" Harry jumped at the voice and almost slipped until he was steadied by large hands. "Why are you so tense?"

There were days when Harry would muse so much about Draco he usually forgets where he is; at the moment, he was under a rapidly cooling shower. When he felt Lucius' arms wrap around his shoulders, he relaxed. "Sorry, Luc." He said. "I was distracted."

Lucius nuzzled his apple scent hair. "That was obvious, Harry." He said. "The question is _why_; you didn't even notice when I climbed in with you."

_Come on, Harry... you're a Gryffindor for God's sake... tell him the truth..._ Harry braced himself and turned to face Lucius. _Just tell him wha- Merlin. _Harry could help but moan at Lucius naked body; the wet, long, silver hair stuck to the broad shoulders and sourced a tiny stream of water that ran down the tone chest, curved at the hips and continued down his left leg past his groin.

Lucius chuckled, making Harry snap his lust-glazed eyes away from his... _package _and up to the older man's face. "Like what you see?" the blonde purred.

Harry nodded and attacked Lucius with his lips, causing Lucius' eyes to widen in surprise but he quickly responded to Harry; it has been a month since he had kissed Harry like this, under the warm shower, naked. Lucius lifted Harry and the brunet automatically wrapped his legs around the waist. This caused their newfound erections to rub against each other, which in turned caused both men to moan at the friction. Lucius pushed his lover against the wall and thrust against Harry, pulling another loud moan from the brunet.

"Lucius." Harry gasped as his head fell against the wall, revealing his neck. Lucius trailed kisses down the alabaster column and with another hard thrust, Harry mewled, his hands gripping Lucius' shoulders fiercely. "Faster!"

With a growl, Lucius gripped Harry's hips, his thrusts against the brunet's member increasing. Harry could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge before the thrusts stopped; he gave a frustrated groan and tried to thrust against the blonde but his hips were held still. "Please." Harry whimpered. He tried to snake a hand between their bodies but it was slapped away. "Please!"

"Do you really want it?" Lucius asked between gasps and Harry nodded immediately. "Then tell me what's wrong with you."

Harry's eyes shot open and the fog of lust cleared his mind. "It's nothing." He said lowly and squirmed in Lucius' hold.

"Nothing, Harry?" Lucius said firmly this time. "You have been pulling away from me more and more ever since I got back- something happened and I want to know what."

"It's my business." Harry said, irritated. He squirmed again and kicked a little. "Luc, put me down."

"What do you mean it's _your_ business; I thought we have gotten to a stage where we can trust each other."

"I don't have to tell you _everything_ that happens to me!" Harry yelled. "What, don't you trust me anymore?"He asked with a challenging glare.

Lucius blinked. "Of course I do-"

"Then why can't you just let me be?" Harry demanded. "We were having a nice time and you just had to ruin it with your bloody questions..." _The Slytherin bastard..._ "Now _put me down_." He growled the last words.

Lucius looked insulted but gently placed Harry back under the shower and said stiffly. "I'll be in my study if you need me." with that he left.

_**Nice going, Harry... just like you to make everything worse...**_

Harry growled and turned off the shower with more force than necessary. _Shut up, conscience... I don't need crap from you either..._

_**He was worried about you... you were supposed to tell him-**_

_What? Tell him what?... Lucius, when you were away I got drunk, snogged Draco and after a mind-blowing blowjob, he declared his love for me and now I think I'm falling for him..._ Harry got out of the shower and towelled himself._ Since I can't decide, do you mind if I get fucked by both of you instead?... yup; I can see him applauding at that..._

Harry could practically see his conscience scoffing. _**Well, when you put it like that... wait- "mind-blowing blowjob"?**_

Harry shook his head fiercely. _Not the point... I don't want to have sex with Lucius while I'm thinking about Draco... and I don't think either would like to share..._

_**Then tell him...**_

_Again... not going to be easy... _Harry donned his boxers and a loose green T-shirt.

_**No one said it was going to be easy, Harry... the longer you hide this, the worse it's going to get... you need to talk about it...**_

"Shut up." Harry muttered; he dived on his bed and covered his head with a pillow.

_**I heard that and no, you cannot block me out with a pillow...**_ Harry growled and threw the pillow across the room._** Go downstairs and talk to Lucius... at the very least, he would appreciate you being honest with him...**_

Harry sighed. "You're right." He felt his conscience roll it's eyes and mouth the word, _**duh!**_ Harry scowled and got up. "I'll just tell him about what happened with Draco and then we'll go from there." His conscience nodded. **That's the spirit... and remember, it's okay to be afraid...**

**000**

Lucius was too tired work and too frustrated to concentrate; he snuggled on his couch and summoned a blanket from the cupboard outside his study. He decided that he would try to talk to Harry again tomorrow.

He was dozing off when he felt someone climb under the blanket and nuzzle his chest. "Harry, do you need something?" He asked bluntly.

Harry shook his head. "I'm sorry, Luc." He said. "You were right; I should be able to trust you with my problems... but I'm scared and confused."

Lucius frowned and sat up. "Why are you scared, Harry?" he asked looking into those green eyes.

Harry looked away. "Because you may leave me." he said truthfully.

"Oh, Harry," Lucius gently turned Harry's face to his. "I told you, I'll be with you no matter what; please, tell me what is bothering you." He ran his fingers down Harry's cheeks.

Harry nodded and sighed. "You see, when you were away...something happened."

"What happened?" Lucius prompted.

"I was lonely and... then I got drunk and..." Harry chewed nervously on his bottom lip. _**Just do it.**_ "I really like you, Lucius but... I don't think that I'm expressing it enough because... I think I love you." _**What? You chicken!**_

Lucius blinked. "You think you love me?"

Harry nodded. "Yes... No... I don't think so, I know so... but I'm don't think I can say it ye-"

Lucius cut Harry off with a kiss. "You _almost_ saying that makes me the happiest man alive." He rested his forehead on Harry's. "Is that why you're scared? You think that if you don't say you love me, I'll leave?" Harry nodded. "Look, Harry I know the consequences of courting someone much younger than me but I'm not going to give up on you... I do not have any expectations of you and you are not required to do anything." He pulled away and cupped Harry's face. "I love you, Harry Potter."

Harry nodded again and gave Lucius a chaste kiss. "Thank you, Lucius." He gave him another kiss, this time, a deeper one.

Lucius held on to the thin waist as Harry straddled him and proceed to plunge his tongue into his mouth. He could feel himself hardening again and gave an experimental thrust, pulling a moan out of Harry.

_**You coward! You fucking coward! Instead of telling the truth, you're just going to lie some more... and by using the one thing you knew Lucius always wanted from you... how Slytherin...**_

_I don't have a choice..._

_**Don't have a choice? Everyone has a fucking choice, Harry... do you even **_**really**_** love Lucius... what about Draco...**_

_I know for sure that I love Lucius much more than Draco... besides, he's away and I'm going to tell Draco to back off if he tries to come on to me..._

_**This is a mistake... you're not only going to hurt yourself... you'll hurt Lucius too...**_

_... I have to try... he's everything I have..._

_**No he's not...**_

_Please, conscience... can't you let me get away with just this... I'll deal with the consequences..._

_**That kind's of contradicts my job description, doesn't it?... don't say I didn't warn you...**_

Harry sighed when the tiny voice in his head finally quietened; he slowly unbuttoned Lucius' nightshirt while the blonde, oblivious to the inner battle within Harry, let his fingers creep under the brunet's trousers. Once the shirt was tossed aside, Harry ran his fingers down the tone chest, taking his time to tweak each nipple to hardness before moving lower. Lucius moaned and pulled Harry's T-shirt over his head before he attacked the pale neck once again.

Harry suddenly moved off Lucius and pulled down his trousers, revealing his slightly purple member; he nipped at the blonde's inner thighs before he licked the underside of the organ. When Lucius started begging, Harry took the length in his mouth all the way down to the root and copied what Draco did- Harry pulled away quickly, his eyes wide.

"Harry, please." Lucius whimpered. When Harry made no move, he opened his eyes and saw Harry wide eyed and panting heavily. "Harry?" the green eyes focused on him. "You don't have to, it's okay."

Harry looked confused before he gave a sweet smile and kissed the blonde deeply again. _I will not let Draco rule my life!_ He removed his boxers, pulling a moan out of the blonde at the sight of his member, and sat on Lucius' lap, straddling him backwards with his back against the firm chest.

"Harry?" Lucius questioned confused. When he felt Harry grab his member and position himself above it, he gripped Harry's hips tightly. "What are you doing? Lube-"

"I don't want any." Harry was still panting hard, so between gasps, he said, "I want to feel you... when you enter me..." He could feel Lucius was doubtful. "Please... I want this..." _Make me forget him..._

"I don't want to hurt you, Harry." Lucius said softly.

"I know." Harry said before he impaled himself with a painful cry. When he heard Lucius pleading for him to stop, he shook his head. "I'm alright, I just didn't expect it to be this painful... just give me time to adjust." _Must forget Draco..._

Lucius moaned at the sinfully tight heat; he had never had sex this rough with anyone except Narcissa- he had always been gentle with Harry.

Harry moaned to cover up the pain; he could feel something begin to trickle down his thigh and he knew it was blood but he had to keep going. _Anything to forget... anyway to punish myself..._ Lucius snaked his arm around to stroke his young lover in time with his thrusts, causing the brunet to buck into the hand before bringing Harry over the edge with him.

Harry whispered a quick cleaning spell to vanish the blood before he collapsed against the damp chest behind him while the older man wrapped his arms around him and licked the bite mark on Harry's neck. "Oh God, Harry," Lucius moaned. Harry did not reply, he just craned his head to give Lucius a kiss. _I'm gonna be sore for days..._

When Harry felt the member inside him begin to harden again, he chuckled. "Again?"

Lucius laughed as well but before he could answer, the clock rang out, announcing it was twelve mid-night. "Happy July, Harry." Lucius said with a kiss. "It is approximately thirty days till your birthday."

Harry groaned. "Great, another year older." He muttered.

"And wiser." Lucius added with a chuckle.

"And sexy!" Harry piped. "Don't forget sexy!" This caused Lucius to laugh louder.

... That is until it was replaced with moans and the cacophony of flesh hitting flesh.

***END FLASHBACK***

Harry brought out the letter given to him from St Mungos and looked at it affectionately; his future was in this letter, all he needed now was Lucius to make everything perfect. All the signs were there but he did not think it was possible.

***FLASHBACK***

**July 2007 (Harry's Birthday)**

Harry hated being sick; his birthday party had to be shortened when he suddenly ran out of the room to vomit in the nearest toilet. Hermione had said it was probably a bug so Harry did not think much about it.

At the moment, it was late in the evening and Harry was looking for something he could eat after hours of being forced to stay in bed; he had to sneak out after Lucius had fallen asleep. He stumbled into the kitchen and slowly made his way to the fridge. _God, I feel so weak... curse this bug..._

"And he emerges." Harry turned and scowled at the blonde.

"Go away, Malfoy." He hissed. "I'm not in the mood and I'm still not talking to you."

Draco pouted. "Come on, Harry." He whined. "I said I was sorry; aren't you happy that two gorgeous blondes love you?" The young Malfoy stalked towards Harry like he did before but this time Harry backed away.

"I-I'm serious, D-draco." Harry stuttered, still backing away. "Stay away: I don't want you near me... don't think we can just be together just because you decided you loved me one day... love doesn't work that day."

Draco continued to stalk closer to Harry until he hit the fridge; the blonde, with his seeker reflexes, placed his hand on either side of Harry, effectively blocking him. He then leaned in and said, "I didn't just wake up one day and then fall in love, Harry... I told you... I loved you since the first day I saw you... I'm still fighting for you."

Draco quickly leaned in to kiss the brunet before he could comment; he forced the mouth beneath his open and thrust his tongue in. Harry tried to push him off but his illness made him too weak to fight him off; he was running out of air and getting very dizzy. His vision darkened and his legs buckled; he would have fallen if Draco had not caught him.

"Harry?" Draco said, concerned as he righted the Gryffindor. "You shouldn't have gotten out of bed."

"You shouldn't have kissed me either." Harry tried to snap back but failed. He gasped when Draco lifted him into his arms and started out of the kitchen. "Put me down, Draco." He moaned feebly.

Draco just continued walking towards the stairs and Harry, too sick to complain, rested his head on Draco's shoulder and took in the familiar scent of lemongrass and apples.

"Harry!" Lucius' voice caused the brunet to peak at his lover from under his lashes. "Draco, what happened?"

Harry felt Draco's body shift in a shrug. "He was about to get himself some food then he just fell." He said smoothly.

Harry felt himself being transferred to another pair of hands and the scent of sandalwood told Harry that he was now in Lucius' arms. "Thank you, Dragon." Lucius said. The small jerks told Harry that Lucius was now climbing the stairs; he wrapped his arms around the thick neck and glanced back at Draco, who bore a shattered look.

***END FLASHBACK***

"Someone looks happy." As Harry looked up, the letter flew out of his hands into the other's.

_Speak of the devil..._ "Draco." Harry growled. "Give that back."

Draco smirked from his position by the door and twirled the letter in his hand. "What's this?" he looked at the seal. "St Mungos; you trying to hide your ailment from us?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "No."

"Oh," Draco said in a tone laced with amusement. "Then you wouldn't mind if I take a peak-"

"NO!" Harry yelled. "_Accio _letter!"

"_Protego_." Draco countered lazily with a smile. "Must be something juicy then." He walked slowly towards Harry as he inspected the letter.

"Give it back, Malfoy." Harry snarled with a glare.

"What, we are still calling each other by our last names?" Harry's glare intensified. "Okay, okay take it." He held it out to Harry but yanked it back when Harry reached for it. "For a price."

_Why do I have a bad feeling about this?_ "What?" Harry barked.

"A kiss." Draco purred leaning in close.

"Get a life, Malfoy!" Harry said as he pushed Draco away. "And give me back my letter, you pervert!" He made to grab it again but it was pulled out of his reach; he jumped to get it, cursing his height, as Draco held it high above his head. "Give it back, Malfoy!" he jumped once again and for some unknown, supernatural reason (wink, wink), he tripped on his feet and fell on Draco; his hands holding tightly unto Draco's shoulders.

Before Harry could pull back, the blonde's arms wrapped around his waist. "Why don't you love me?" Draco asked. Harry ignored him, as he struggled to get out of the strong hold. "Do you even love father?" That made Harry pause. "I mean, I know you have feeling for him but do you _really_ love him?"

Harry relaxed into the hold with a sigh. "Draco, I'm with Lucius... this," he gestured to the small space between them. "...it can't happen... it's not right... and it's not fair to Luc."

"Forget father." Draco said. "For this one kiss forget him; just feel, don't think... if you don't feel anything, I'll leave you alone... if you do, then I'll talk with father today."

Harry worried his lower lip, nervously; he was indeed curious as to how he felt, perhaps he could get some answers and sort out his feelings once and for all. "Promise?" Harry asked.

Draco leaned in closer. "Yes." He then crashed his lips to Harry's; at first it was chaste and sweet until Draco's tongue traced his lips and Harry froze.

Draco pulled away only to nibble on Harry's lobe. "You're thinking, Harry." He whispered before diving back into the kiss and once again, requesting to be let in. This time, Harry allowed him access and he groaned; he could feel his blood boiling and every cell within him on fire. He wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and pulled him closer while Draco moaned and squeezed his butt in encouragement.

"What is this?" A shaky voice caused both young men to jump apart.

"Lucius." Harry heart sank at the look of his lover's face.

_**A/N:**__ I was generous to update two chapters for you guys last time but come on, I'm not __**that**__ generous... you're gonna have to work for the continuation... and by work, I mean review... I may not be able to update next week though... the second semester of my university is around the corner and I haven't even done my course planning programme yet... for shame... now would be the best time to give me any ideas to add before I continue... REVIEW!_


	16. Chapter 17

_Hey... you hate me for not posting the full chapter last time, right? But it's better this time (I hope) so cheer up... I was able to post this one much earlier than I anticipated so yay for time management... I have noticed that I am not getting as much reviews as I wanted... I wonder if it is because of the juicy lemons I post on HP fandom...LOL... I don't have anything against reading the unedited version but please leave a review here or there so that I know my sleepless nights are appreciated... _

_I would like to thank_ _**BloodMoon93**__ for his/her funny hyperbole (big thanks...LOL), __**aliengirlguy**_ and _**dan8**__ for their reviews... sorry I didn't thank you in the last chapter (you know yourselves)... if I have left anyone out, I apologise and I thank you as well... keep it up guys..._

**Warning:** this chapter contains, more betrayal, pissed Lucius, the letter, gang violence, Draco, Hermione... heck everyone (okay, not really).

**Last Chapter...**

"_What is this?" A shaky voice caused both young men to jump apart._

"_Lucius." Harry heart sank at the look of his lover's face._

CHAPTER 16: SHORT-LIVED HAPPINESS

**September 2007**

The blonde's face was pale, his eyes filled with sorrow; he clenched and unclenched his fists, his stormy eyes switched from Harry to Draco in quick successions. "I asked a question." He said a bit more firmly this time.

_Why is he home so early..._Harry took a few steps towards Lucius. "Luc, it's not what you think."

"So you were not kissing Draco?" Lucius asked dryly. "I may be old, Harry but I am most certainly _not_ blind!" He snarled. An angry wave of Lucius' magic made the lights flicker for a moment and the fireplace to come to life. It also made Harry stumble back from his lover. "Was this your game all along?" he asked the brunet bitterly. "You, getting close to Draco by pretending to love me?"

Harry shook his head fiercely. "No, Lucius it's not like tha-"

"Then what in blazes is it like, Harry!" Lucius barked. "Are you trying to tell me that you fell in love with him _after_ we started courting?" Harry bit his lips and looked away, causing Lucius to gasp; he knew that look. "That's it, isn't it?" he said slowing as his realisation settled. "The day I came back from my trip... that's what you wanted to tell me... that's why you were so withdrawn from me... you love Draco..."

_This is wrong... this wasn't supposed to happen._ "Luc please." Harry shook his head and begged with a little sob.

"All this time... you have been stringing me along like a puppet..." Lucius continued without pause. "When you said you love me... did you mean it...?" Harry could only stare at Lucius with teary eyes and Lucius' eyes that had held such misery suddenly became fierce. "Do you love me?" Lucius asked for a second time. Harry looked away once again. With a growl, Lucius marched forward and gripped Harry by his arms with such force that Harry whimpered. "ANSWER ME!"

Harry could only look pleadingly into Lucius' eyes; the pain that lanced through his arms frightened him into silent crying. He knew he would bruise later- he had never seen Lucius this angry for a long time.

Draco spoke for the first time since Lucius' appearance. "Father stop!" He lunched forward to help Harry only to be thrown backwards by a mysterious force after a glare from Lucius.

The Malfoy patriarch turned back to the young man within his grip and tightened his hold, causing the brunet to whimper again. "How would you feel if I used you, Harry?" he pulled Harry towards him and raised him up to his face's level; which meant that Harry was now on his toes with only the painful hands as his support. "How would you feel if I threw on that couch, had my way with you, told you I loved you... only to kick you aside like a dog." He spat.

"Please." Harry said in a small voice as he shook with fear. When Lucius tightened his hold even more, he cried out at the unbearable pain.

"Let him go." A voice caused Lucius to snarl; Draco stood with his wand pointed at his father and a cut graced his cheek as a result of being flung back before. "Let. Him. Go." Draco said again.

Lucius glared at his son but released Harry, causing him to fall to the floor. Harry hugged himself and cried while Draco slowly moved to his side, his wand still pointed at Lucius. "Lucius I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... it just happened... please forgive me... don't hate me..." Harry stumbled through his words.

However, Lucius gave a dry chuckle. "I never thought you would do this to me, Harry... I should have listened to Severus when he said you were trouble but I was so blind... I thought we could work..." He then turned to Draco. "Congratulations, you've won... now take your slut and get out of my house; I will give Harry the elves to help him pack and leave you both the villa in Tuscany so you can finally be _together_."

"No!" Harry shouted. He jumped to his feet and gripped Lucius' robes tightly. "Don't leave me... please don't le- ahhh!"

Lucius had gripped Harry's wrists painfully and when Harry let go, he pushed him away, causing him to fall once again. "Don't you _ever_ lay your filthy hands on me again!"

"Father, this is stupid." Draco said. "Harry didn't mean to do it... it was me... let's just sit down and-" Lucius disapparated. "...talk." Draco finished slowly. He turned back to Harry whose eyes were still fixed to the spot that Lucius once stood. "Harry, don't worry; I'll talk to fathe-"

"No." Harry said lowly, interrupting Draco. "I don't want your_ help_, Draco." He turned to Draco with anguished eyes. "Everything was perfect... I had everything I ever wanted and it was about to getter better but you just had to take my bloody letter, didn't you?" Draco blinked and Harry stood up. "You didn't want him to have me... well, congratulations- he doesn't... if only I wasn't so confused... or curious... if only you didn't kiss me." He gave a bitter laugh. "What do you know; ignorance _is_ bliss, after all."

Draco's heart bled. _Where did it all go wrong?_ "Harry, please I-"

"Save it, Draco" Harry continued in the same low voice. "I'm going for a walk." Draco could only look on as Harry slowly made his way out of the room.

A few minutes later, Draco stood up as well, marched to the cabinet on the east wall and took out a bottle of firewhiskey; he uncorked the top and took a swing of the burning drink, not even bothering with a tumbler. _Damn father for coming home so early... damn the fates for making him decide to come home so early... damn me for not seeing this coming!_ As he was strolling to the couch, a white parchment caught his attention; it was the letter Harry had been so desperate to take back and was so happy to receive. _Wouldn't hurt to read it __**now**__... might as well see how badly I've screwed his life..._

Draco bent to pick it and finished the short journey to the couch; the seal was broken so all Draco had to do was unfold it. When he read the first sentence, the firewhiskey fell out of his shocked hands and crashed to the floor. "Oh my God, what have I done." He whispered and jumped to his feet, ignoring the mess.

_Where could father be..._ He mused for a moment and then ran out of the room when the answer popped into his head.

**000**

Harry hugged his knees to his chest and cried into them; he sat in an alley after he had willed his legs to take him where they may.

_**It's not the end of the world, Harry... **_

_Yes, it is..._

_**No, it's not... I'm sure Lucius will forgive you after he cools down...**_

_Will that still change the fact that I cheated on him?_ His conscience was silent. _Didn't think so... I should have listened to you..._

_**Yes, you should... but everyone, even the Pope, makes mistakes, Harry...**_

_But I __**knew **__I was making a mistake... it not something that just happened; I knew what I was doing... I was just stubborn..._

_**So what are you going to do, now?**_

Harry slowly stopped crying and cleaned his face. _Probably go live with Ron and Hermione for a while... I'll take what I had saved up from the royalties and my fortune to get myself a small apartment in Scotland... _

_**I suggest you get a job now... I think you've had a long enough break from the world...**_

Harry stood up and dusted himself off. _If Sirius could see me now... he'll probably laugh at me... I'm sure my parents are rolling in their graves with disgust..._

"Hello, there sweetie." Harry looked up at the direction of the voice; three men slowly made their way towards him from the end of the alley, their faces were painted with cloying smiles. "Such a pretty thing in such a lowly place." The man in the middle wore dark jeans with equally dark sneakers, his blue mesh stuck out oddly against his skin tone and his face was decorated with tattoos. "If you're lost, I'll help you get back... for a price." He continued and the others laughed.

Harry subtly put his hand into his robes' pocket and searched: his cursed silently, he had left his wand at home. "No, thank you- I'm fine." He started for the mouth of the enclosed space but three other men were blocking it with equally cloying smiles. "Look, I don't want any trouble; I don't have any money on me." Harry said.

"Don't worry." Harry felt a man come up behind him and wrap his arms around his waist. "I'm sure there are other ways." His hand cupped Harry's groin and he thrust his growing erection against Harry's ass suggestively.

With seeker reflexes, Harry spun around and punched the man hard, stunning him. The man stumbled backwards; he touched his stinging lips and when he brought his fingers away, he saw blood. With a growl, he punched Harry as well; Harry, being smaller than the man, cried out in pain when the fist collided with his jaw. Before he could stumble, someone was behind him; he twisted Harry's arms to the back before someone else bound them.

"Let's have some fun, boys!" the first man said. He started for Harry once again but Harry kicked him in the groin, causing the man to howl before falling to the ground.

"You bitch!" Another man snarled before punching Harry in the ribs. Harry gasped at the pain and his legs buckled. "Release him, Jack." The man behind Harry, Jack, let go of his arms, letting the bound brunet fall to the ground.

The man Harry had kicked was now on his feet. "You slut!" he kicked Harry in the abdomen once, twice, three times and the kicks kept coming.

_No! Stop! Don't hurt her!_ Harry screamed for him to stop but it was ignored; after a few moments, they did stop. Harry coughed up some blood and tried to breathe but the pain and broken ribs limited him to short gasps. _God, help me... please... stop them..._

"Mike, take care of his legs, Bailey, gag him- we don't want him screaming for help." The man said. "I'll take him first." He said to the others.

**000**

It is amazing how one tends to exaggerate distance when a wizard disapparates; Lucius sat in his study on the armchair that was placed near the fireplace- he was staring at the object burning in the fire when Draco came in.

"What the hell!" the younger Malfoy cursed; his father's once pristine study was in ruins- the desk had been turned over, the chairs lay in pieces around the room, papers of important documents littered the floor and the room smelt like burnt rubber.

"Draco." Lucius said, not looking away from the fire. "Come to gloat?" his voice sounded so defeated.

Draco shook himself out of his stupor and frowned at his father. "Father, you have to go back to Harry right now."

"Why?" Lucius said, obviously not hearing his son. "Were you so envious of my happiness that you had to take him away from me... were you so green with jealousy that you would have done anything to have him...?"

Draco tried again. "Father, there is no time for-"

"Don't you think I deserve happiness...? Or are you punishing me for making your childhood a nightmare... for following Voldemort... for letting your mother get killed-"

Draco had enough. "LUCIUS ABRAXAS MALFOY!" Said man looked up from the fire and glared at his son. "Listen, you have to get back to Harry."

"What a gentleman I've raised; here you are fighting for your love's honour." The taller blonde gave the infamous Malfoy smirk. "Now, why are you giving him up so suddenly when you finally have him... why would I go back to Harry after he cheated on me?"

"To answer your first question; I'm not giving up, I'm letting go... especially when I know my presence is only going to make things hard on him and everyone." Draco said. "I was the one who kissed him when you were away... he was drunk so you can't hold that against him; he tried to dissuade me from pursuing him... you were the reason every time... he may not have loved you like you wanted him to but he was loyal to the end."

"That doesn't explain why he was kissing you a few hours ago." Lucius said stiffly. "Unless you're trying to say you forced yourself on him."

"You might as well because he didn't want any of this." Lucius bristled and Draco paused for a moment before he continued. "I _was_ jealous... but most of all, I was angry; you knew I loved Harry but you took him away from me... I said to myself, 'I deserve happiness just as much as you do... I felt hurt and betrayed... I decided to show Harry he was making a mistake by being with you... and now that I have him, I can't really _have_ him..." He gave a bitter laugh. "It's ironic, isn't it...? Then again that's life: an ironic tragedy."

Lucius' eyes had softened at those words. "Harry always said life was a comedic irony but most times it is the kind of comedy only an impassive audience would laugh at." He said softly. "Why would Harry take me back... after all those things I said to him."

Draco produced the letter. "_This_ is the answer to that question as well as the second question." Lucius walked forward and took the letter. It read,

_**St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries**_

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are excited to announce that you are three and a half months pregnant with a healthy baby girl. Like we do for every other pregnant witch; we insist that you DO NOT apparate or use portkeys as that might stress you and the baby. DO NOT drink, smoke or partake in stressful activities._

_It would be wise to admit yourself to St. Mungos at least three weeks to your due date to ensure that you and your baby are properly cared for, as male pregnancies are extremely rare and exceptionally dangerous._

_We at St. Mungos are happy to be the first to congratulate you and your partner and wish you both a happy life with your daughter._

Lucius stared blankly at the letter. "Harry is pregnant... with my child... my daughter..."

Draco smiled a little. "Congratulations, father; Harry always wanted a family, now he can have it." He said. Lucius continued to stare at the letter. "Father!" Lucius blinked at looked at Draco. "Harry left; we need to get him back..."

Lucius nodded then frowned. "Where did he go?" he asked.

"He just said he was taking a walk... he's not supposed to apparate so he can't be that far." Draco reasoned. "I'll go check with the Weasleys and Remus."

Lucius nodded. "I'll check the park and the next neighbourhood."

Both Malfoys left the study while still burning in the fireplace, was a platinum ring with a small emerald in the middle; it was surrounded by a black gooey substance that was once its velvet box and it glowed with the protective charm placed on it, making it impervious to the heat.

**000**

Harry's eyes widened when the legs of his trouser were raised and a cool metal rested on his ankle; he tried to squirm away but someone pulled on his hair and when he cried out, a cloth was stuffed into his mouth. Then the pain came; the man named Mike, struck Harry's ankle with a metal rod, causing Harry to scream into the cloth in his mouth. Harry kicked blindly with his good leg, hoping to stall them in time for someone to see him and call for help.

"Stop that, you bitch." The man he had kicked grabbed his hair and knocked his head into the wall, causing the brunet to see stars; His second leg was smashed as well but Harry was too faint to cry out- he could feel himself slowly lapsing into unconsciousness.

_Perhaps it was meant to be this way... this is a fitting punishment... there is really nothing for me to do anyway..._

_**Don't you dare give up, Harry!... what about Ron, Hermione, your baby...**_

_I'm dying... there isn't much hope for her to live..._

_**What about Remus, Sirius, Lucius and Draco!**_

_I'm inconsequential to their existence... I told you that I'll deal with the consequences for lying to Lucius... so let me die in peace at least... please..._

The voice in his head was silent for a moment before it said,_**No matter what you say, Harry you'll be missed by all... you brought peace to the Wizarding world and you had a family, even if it was for a moment... you did well, Harry...**_

Harry smiled at that and let himself fade away from the harsh reality outside his body.

**000**

Lucius was frantic now; he had searched the park and even called Severus to search his the area as well. He was searching about four blocks away from the manor when he heard a small cry, a few moments later, a man snarled. "Stop that, you bitch." Followed by a sickening thump.

Lucius suddenly felt sick; his heart started beating fast and his palms became sweaty. He cast a disillusionment charm on himself and quietly made his made down the street; He came across three men huddled in at the mouth of an alley, being taller than them, he was able to see what had caught their attention.

What Lucius saw made his heart turn cold; Harry lay prone and unconscious on the ground with his legs at odd angles and his arms bound behind his back. A small pool of blood was by his head and his face was bruised.

A man unzipped his fly and released his member. "Strip him." He commanded as he stroked himself. "I bet he's tight."

Those words made Lucius see red. "STUPEFY!" he released a wave of magic that caused all the men to freeze before falling to the ground.

Lucius ran to Harry's body; he removed the rope that bound him and the cloth in his mouth. "Harry! Harry please open your eyes!" Harry's face was deathly pale; a stream of blood ran from the corner of his mouth and his breaths were slow and shallow. Lucius held his body to his. "Hold on, Harry."

Lucius knew he should not apparate but it was the fastest way to St. Mungos; he closed his eyes, visualising St. Mungos in his head and after taking a few deep breaths to calm down, he found himself at the reception of the hospital.

"Help me." Lucius demanded, carrying Harry from the floor. The nurse at the desk looked at him wide eyed. "HELP HIM!" Lucius cried even louder, causing the nurse to spring into action.

**000**

**Present Day**

Harry slowly opened his eyes but he saw only shadows. "... snuck in and heard that Harry was not feeling too well, so he impersonated Severus when Lucius had asked for help." Harry recognised the owner of the voice as Remus.

"I'm happy that bastard has been locked away; Severus came in time to save Harry." That was Draco.

Sirius spoke. "But Harry was still raped." Harry's eyes widened. "How the hell is he going to recover from that while all this shit was still happening?"

Harry vision grew dark once again.

***A/N: I could leave it here but that would be just evil, wouldn't it?**

**000**

**September 2007 (later that evening...)**

Lucius sat by Harry's bed; the brunet was a shade paler than the sheets he laid on, his breathing was back to normal thanks to the oxygen mask on his face and his legs were fixed but Harry had lost the baby.

"It's not your fault, father." Draco said from Harry's other side. "It could have happened to anyone."

Lucius shook his head. "If I had allowed him to explain, he wouldn't be in this bed." He gently squeezed Harry's hand. "Do you know what the chances are for a man to get pregnant? A million to one... the fact that Harry even managed to get pregnant is a miracle... the chances that male pregnancies will occur twice in the same man are the same as the chances that lightning will strike in the same place... He'll hate me for this..."

Draco stayed silent.

The door suddenly burst open; Hermione, Ron, Neville and Luna strolled in. "We came as soon as we-" Hermione stopped mid-sentence at the sight of Harry and quickly dashed to Harry's side, checking his vitals.

"Merlin." Ron whispered and turned a bit pale.

"What happened?" Neville asked equally pale.

"A misunderstanding." Lucius said curtly not sparing them a glance.

When it was obvious Lucius was not going to say anything more, Draco narrated the story from the day he kissed Harry, to when Lucius found them together, to the baby and finally the attack.

"Harry lost the baby?" Hermione asked. Draco nodded. "Why does this always happen to Harry; he deserved that child... he had wanted a family for so long..."

Ron's face was as red as his hair. "This is both your fault." He turned to Lucius. "If you hadn't been such a prat, Harry wouldn't be in this mess." He then turned to Draco. "And you... you Slytherin bastard!" Ron started marching towards Draco but Hermione and Neville stopped him from getting closer. "You're such a spoiled brat... you can't bear the fact that someone had something you want... well, grow up; this is the real world and sometimes shit doesn't go the way we want... if you had just left Harry alone, none of this would have happened!"

"Ron, calm down." Hermione said. "Your negative energy will affect the healing charm put on Harry and delay his healing process." Ron reluctantly calmed down and sagged against his wife. "He'll be alright; Harry always pulls through." Hermione comforted her husband.

Luna stood by herself at the corner; she looked at Harry sadly and sighed. "Sirius and Remus will be here soon." The door opened and said men walked in. "Hm. Sooner than I thought."

Draco and Lucius stood up at the sight of both men; Sirius glared at both blondes before nodding in greeting to others while Remus looked grim- the full moon had passed three days ago.

When Sirius' eyes rested on his former godson, they widened. "Merlin, Harry." He slowly made his way to Harry's side and cupped the brunet's cheek. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you, cub." He took Harry's hand in his and wept at their pallor tone. "Who did this?" he asked.

Both Malfoys kept quiet and stayed perfectly still while Ron and Neville took turns to narrate the story to them.

Remus leaned against the wall, his eyes wide."Pregnant? It's impossible."

"No," Hermione said as she picked up Harry's chart from the foot of the bed. "Not impossible, just highly improbable; it last happened about two hundred years ago... a Medi-witch named Ruth Vogelcheck found out her husband was cheating on her when she discovered he was pregnant. Funny story but tragic ending; both her husband and the baby died due to complications."

The room stayed silent before Luna spoke again. "What exactly is wrong with Harry?" She asked.

"Hm." Hermione returned to the first page of the chart. "Concussion, punctured lungs, broken ribs and fatigue." She listed. "But do you know what I find disturbing?" She made her way to Draco's side, since Sirius was not ready to move. Hermione pulled up the sleeve of Harry's beige hospital pyjamas and pointed at the yellow handprint on his arm and wrist. "The Medi-witches were not able to heal these completely because it was a lot older than the ones on his jaw and legs."

Remus frowned."How old?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head askance. "About an hour old- give or take." She said. "That means he was man-handled _before_ he left the manor."

All eyes rested on Lucius whose head hung low. "I can explain." He said.

Those words were enough for Sirius to lung at Lucius and punch him in the face, causing the blonde to stumble. "How dare you!" He made to take another swing but Remus gripped his fist. "Let go of me, Moony." He growled.

Remus stayed put. "I understand that you're angry, Sirius... I am as well but this is neither the right place nor time to brawl... not when Harry is like this." He reasoned.

"He's right, Sirius." Hermione piped in. "I feel the same way you do but fighting will only make things worse for Harry's condition." She squeezed Sirius' shoulder. "At least wait for Harry to wake up before you confront him, okay?"

Everyone marvelled at how motherly Hermione had become. However, Sirius huffed but dropped his fist, he quietly made his way to the chair Lucius had once occupied and said with a stiff tone. "Explain, Malfoy."

Lucius narrated how Harry had been alienating himself from him, how he reacted when he found them together and when he found Harry been attacked.

Everyone stayed silent as they waited for Sirius to say something; the man stayed perfectly still as he looked at his godson. "Both of you," He finally said and everyone relaxed as a bit of the tension was lifted. "You are not to come near Harry again."

Lucius blinked. "But Sirius-"

"No." Sirius continued in a deliberately slow tone, as if he was trying to keep his temper in check. "I know I over-reacted when you both told us about your relationship but I will not sit by and do nothing when my godson is being abused in your home."

"Bullshit!" Draco cried. "It was just a misunderstanding; father didn't hurt Harry because he wanted to, it was a mistake!"

"Draco." Remus growled, getting the blonde's attention. "You will do well to hold your tongue before I rip it out." He snarled.

Draco scoffed. "Do what you want to me but I'm telling the truth." He declared. "Father adores Harry... he was just angry... angry people do stupid things."

"At first it will be a mistake and then it will grow into something destructive." Sirius said.

Draco huffed. "Why do _you_ even care?" he asked. "You're the one who kicked Harry out because he was in a relationship with someone you couldn't stand in the past- how petty."

Everyone braced themselves; ever since Harry had left, Sirius had not been the same. Most times, he would snap at people for no reason, he would ask profusely about Harry's wellbeing before insulting him, no matter how bad he felt about letting Harry go, he was too proud to apologise to him. It was always a sensitive topic for Sirius.

"Harry is coming home with me when he has been discharged." Sirius said. "And that's final." He added when Hermione was about to protest.

_**A/N:**__ and that concludes most of the cliché stuff... from now on to later in the story, the chapters shall focus on the past events but would sometimes briefly fade into a present event (like this one)... writing the attack was a bit hard but I after I channelled my inner gangster and listened to Bruno Mars' 'Granade', it turned out fine... As I was writing the scene with Lucius and Draco in the study, Alexander Desplat's 'Marry me Bella' from New Moon just popped into my head... yes, I am a twi-heart... go listen to it, it's slow but really sweet... well, there is more coming up; Edith appears in either the next chapter or the one after that, Severus and Lucius have a heart to heart and Harry gets in touch with his dark side... REVIEW or die... _


	17. Chapter 18

_Hello readers... I must apologise in advance for this chapter; it is not my best so far... I have been sick for a while and I really did not want to give you crap to read because I couldn't focus... if I can't focus, I can't write... I'm sure my fellow authors know what I'm talking about... well, enjoy *goes to look for aspirin*..._

_I would like to give my thanks to __**Angelic Abomination**__**, lysander, **__**lil night raven**__**, BloodMoon93, **__**dan8**__**, **__**Taylor1991**____(and anyone else I may have missed) for their reviews!... do continue! _

_**P.S:**__ even if you are not a member of this site, please sign in with an alias when you review so that I can thank you properly instead of calling you "Guest."_

_**NOTICE: **__I did not intend for the thugs that attacked Harry in the last chapter to be the same thugs that approached Harry in chapter 9 (they are just extras I added to keep the story going) but I guess you can call them the same if you want._

**Warning:** this chapter contains sorrow, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Lucius, Draco and his weird ass dream (**DON'T **read if you have an aversion to blood), Severus, depression and therapists.

CHAPTER 17: HYSTERIA

**September 2007**

"NO!" Harry screamed and struggled while Sirius straddled the brunet's hips, holding him down as he kicked and screamed and bit the man. "MY BABY!"

Harry woke up a week after his attack; the small bulge on his stomach he had come to love was missing.

"Harry, calm down." Sirius said and hissed when one of the kicks got him in the back. "Everything's going to be fine." Remus ran into the room with a Medi-witch at his heels. "Now, Harry the nice nurse will just give you a potion that will make you calm down, alright?"

"NO!" Harry's kicks became frantic. "LET ME SEE HER!"

"Mr Lupin, if you could please hold his legs down." The Medi-witch said and Remus obeyed. "Mr Potter, I need you to open your mouth please." She brought the potion to Harry's lips but he turned his head away. "Mr Potter, If you take this potion for me, I'll let you see her."

That made Harry stop his actions. "How can I trust you?" Harry hissed with a glare.

"You have my word as a Medi-witch of St. Mungos that you will see your child if you take this potion for me." She brought the potion back to his lips.

Harry's eyes softened. "Promise?" he asked in a small voice.

The Medi-witch nodded. "Yes, now open wide." Harry obeyed and the nurse poured the contents of a dreamless sleep potion into the cavern, soon Sirius was climbing off a sleeping Harry.

"Sirius, the press are literally trying to tear down the gates." Remus said.

Sirius growled. "We gave them a story last week!" He cried incredulously.

"You know the press, they never sleep." Hermione came into the room; she was in white robes with her hair in a lose bun. "How is he; the nurses told me he was upset?" She asked as she motioned to Harry.

Sirius shook his head as he sat on the chair by Harry's bed. "It was awful, 'Mione." He said with a sigh. "He wants to see his child."

Hermione frowned. "But she's dead; she would have been cremated by now if it wasn't for Lucius." She noticed how Sirius bristled slightly. "Sirius, if Harry is to cope with this trauma, he needs Luci-"

"No; I said it before and I'll say it again." Sirius spat. "That man and his son will not get anywhere near my son again; Harry was perfectly fine without him before, he will be fine without him now.

"I appreciate your help and concern, Hermione but Harry has people that care about him other than Lucius. I can do what Lucius can and more so don't give me that crap about Lucius being the only one that can help him through this." With that, Sirius turned back to Harry and gently brushed back his bangs.

Hermione, on the other hand was furious; _this was the man who abandoned his "son" because he did not see Lucius as a fit partner for Harry... now he's banned Lucius and Draco because of a misunderstanding... what a hypocrite!_ With a curt nod to Remus, she turned and left the room.

**000**

**Present Day (July 2008)**

**Severus POV**

I shouldn't have saved Potter; I know it sounds callous but if you were in my position, you'd be thinking the same thing... No? Then you are lying to yourself.

Three days ago, Lucius approached me; he said Potter had some kind of anxiety attack and as a _friend_, he requested that I brew something for him. The impudent little brat cannot go one week without ruining my day; the man I love is requesting that I make a cure for _his_ love's ailment. I almost said no but the look on Lucius' face made me say differently.

After making a fresh batch of calming potion, I make my way to the poor excuse for a pig sty called Grimmuald Place; understandably, I scowl at the walls' dreadful colour- Sirius _really_ needs an interior designer.

Upon making my way to the stairs, something catches my eye; Remus laid asleep on the couch- not much cause for alarm, right? Then I hear a small thump come from upstairs. I narrow my eyes in suspicion and slowing crept up the stairs, pulling out my wand.

As I get closer, I hear moans and gasps. I frowned and lowered my wand; it is probably Lucius and Harry _together_... and I do not want to stick around for a show at how _great_ my life is without Lucius. Then I hear someone speak from behind the door. "This is for Edith." My frown deepens; that was not Lucius' voice and I've heard that name before... nothing good has come out of that name.

I raised my wand again and with a sharp intake of air, I kick the door open. What I see leaves me shocked to this moment; I saw a strange man, bucking into a limp body on the bed. "Harry!" At first, I was outraged- I was going to call Potter out for cheating on Lucius again but then when I saw the boy unconscious, I did the first thing that came to mind. "_Petrificus Totalus!_" I yelled and the stranger collapsed on Potter's pale frame.

I ran to the pair and pushed the stranger off Potter; he was naked from the waist down with bruises decorating his hips- probably where that animal had held him- and the sheets were ensanguined with blood. I then noticed Potter's breathing was irregular and when I checked his heart rate, it was practically as fast as a humming bird's.

I cast a diagnostics charm; The-Boy-Who-Lived was dying... for a moment, I stood there and watched the boy. If Potter dies, I'll have a chance with Lucius, but both him and Draco will be devastated and I'll have to put up with a harem of weeping Weasleys; I force the potion I had brewed down potter's throat to calm his heart and then place a stasis charm on his body to slow the process of the poison. After healing him and covering up his privates, I quickly call the Aurors and Lucius before leaving to brew the antidote for the mysterious potion.

The Romulus fellow would have been a worthy potions master if it wasn't for his intent; the potion he invented had some sort of paralysing effect on Potter- I have manage to save him from certain death but his immune system has been greatly damaged- the potion I am currently brewing should return Harry back to his former infuriating self but I need Potter to wake up and_ move_... which he hasn't since the attack.

At the moment, I sit in Lucius' greenhouse; nobody comes here, only the house elf and it wouldn't dare disturb my peace. This tame jungle is a paradise compared to the press waiting outside my gates, the hours upon hours of potion making and Lucius...

...Lucius looked so broken and so sad that I can't even bare to look at him anymore; I am angry at Potter for putting him through this- I know it's not his fault but a beauty such as Lucius should not cry every month because of "Harry." Either "Harry" is sick or "Harry" has been attacked or "Harry" is dying. Most times, I think Lucius only keeps me around just to brew potions for "Harry."

Its Lily Evans all over again; she was my friend and yes, I loved her but at the end of the day, Potter took her away from me. Then I fall in love with Lucius and then Potter's_ son_ takes him away from me! I can't help but think that my life is some sort of punishment from the gods, my pathetic existence entertains them enough to keep me alive.

I quietly pick my way through the wild tangle of wines and when I successfully (without tripping, that is) reached the centre of the greenhouse, I saw it; I gasp at first and move closer- right in front of me, behind a glass dome was the Dying Love flower. I thought they were extinct but Lucius must have purchased this one long ago. I remove the barrier between me and the plant- it was indeed a fine specimen; it's blackened petals gives predators the illusion of death but I can see it is alive. Old but alive; I wonder how long ago Lucius got this flower.

I ran my hand over the flower, not touching it in its delicate condition; a stasis charm on it had been placed on it to delay its death, however, it only had enough magic to reveal true love to one more couple. I always found it amazing: one touch can decide the rest of your life. I wasn't going to miss this opportunity- I placed the glass dome back and shrunk the flower before placing it in my pocket.

I know what you're thinking; I should just ask Lucius about his feeling for me right? To answer that, I have two questions for you; do I look like the type of person that shares _feelings_?- I think you know enough of my past to answer that one.

If you had a magical flower that could show you your soul mate, would you just talk to your significant other or would you trick him into touching the flower?- something tells me you would prefer the latter.

**000**

**October 2007**

"Lucius!" Hermione bellowed as she stumbled into the manor. "LUCIUS!" she cried: still no answer. "Fuck, Lucius get your ass down here NOW!" she called again and this time, Lucius came sprinting down the stairs.

"What's the matter, Hermione?" The blonde asked; he was donned in only his trousers and a white button up shirt that had the first few undone while his long silver hair was, as usual, bound with a leather cord.

"Its Harry." She said between gasps. "He's running a rampage through St. Mungos." She took the glass of water the house elf presented to her and downed it so quickly, Lucius thought she might choke. "We have to go." she finished.

"But Sirius-" Lucius started.

"Fuck Sirius!" Hermione growled. "Harry put him in a body bind so I don't think he'll bother- We have to go _now_."

Lucius nodded and summoned his robes, before disapparating with Hermione to the hospital. The scene he was greeted with made Lucius paused; all the Medi-witches and Wizards along the hall were either unconscious, in a body bind or stupefied. He was surprised that his Harry would source such chaos.

Hermione released a Medi-witch from her spell. "Where is he?" she demanded.

The terrified witch witch pointed down the hall and Lucius ran in that direction while Hermione tended to the other downed witched and wizards.

_God, Harry! What have you done... I knew this would happen; I should have fought to be by his side... I'm sure that bloody mongrel has learnt his lesson..._

A wizard stumbled towards Lucius as he turned a corner. "Go back." He said, shaking a little. "He's mad!"

Lucius brushed the man's comment aside and asked. "Where is he?"

The wizard pointed to a door. "There; he forced me to bring out his child's carcass." The man then frowned. "Those Medi-witches had it coming, they did; they've been making empty promises to him- it was only a matter of time before he snapped."

Lucius ignored the man as he slowly made his way to the correct room; on the far corner of the room stood a pale, thin figure in beige hospital pyjamas. His raven hair was wilder than usual and those green eyes which were once full of life now looked down dully at a small, humanoid creature that laid limp and frozen on a tray.

"Harry?" Lucius said softly and those eyes snapped up to look at him; tears streamed down the brunet's face and his clenched his hands so tightly that the stranger's wand in his grasp splintered.

"She's dead." He said hoarsely before looking back to the foetus.

Lucius moved closer to the brunet. "Yes, she is; the attack took a toll on your body... and on her... I requested that she should not be cremated so that we could bury her." Lucius said. "Harry, I'm so sorry."

The-Boy-Who-Lived did not nod, shake or even cock his head, he did not make a sound as those salty rivers continued to run down his cheeks. With one last kiss on his child (placed on what many may have presumed was a forehead), Harry let the wand drop to the floor and started to walk out the door; when Lucius reached to hold him, Harry flinched away, absentmindedly rubbing his wrist- he did not spare Lucius a glance when he walked out of the room.

Lucius walked closely behind Harry in case he would do anything to hurt himself; Medi-witches and wizards cleared the hall immediately when they saw Harry coming but the brunet just quietly went to his room where a now unbound Sirius, Remus and Ron stood with Hermione.

"Cub, are you okay?" Sirius asked but Harry silently walked past him and crawled into his bed.

**000**

Lucius, Sirius and Hermione sat in Lucius' study; Harry had slipped into a sort of depressive state and they needed to do something fast.

"You and Draco will be allowed to see Harry on one condition." Sirius said and Lucius leaned in. "He will stay at Grimmuald Place until he his healthy enough to request otherwise and you may only see him between the times of ten in the morning till ten at night."

Lucius and Hermione nodded. "Fair enough." She said.

Sirius got up abruptly and started towards the fireplace. "Sirius." Lucius' voice halted the brunet. "I know this is my fault but I swear, I never meant any of this to happen... if I knew he was pregnant, I would have-"

"You would have what?" Sirius asked curtly. "Taken the child and thrown my son into a gutter or would proclaim the child a bastard." Lucius said nothing. "Nothing you say, Malfoy, will ever make me forgive you or your son so get that into that fucking head of yours... why can't you just pursue someone your age; you just had to have The-Boy-Who-Lived as your bitch."

Lucius sputtered. "It's not like that!" He cried.

"I don't care what's it's like; once Harry is healed, you will stay away from Grimmuald Place until further notice... if it wasn't for the fact that Harry was in this condition, I would turn into my animagus and rip your innards out." Sirius threw some floo powder into the flames before disappearing.

Lucius heaved a great sigh and sat down on the armchair by the fireplace; he was too deep in his sorrow to notice that Hermione was still in the room. "Thank you, Hermione." Lucius said. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had this opportunity to visit Har-"

Hermione raised her hand to silence him. "I didn't do it for you, Lucius, I did it for Harry." She said. "As disappointed as I am in you and Draco, Harry needs loved ones to heal."

"I know you hate me, Hermione but I still love Harry... I was angry." Lucius explained.

"Oh, grow up, Malfoy!" Hermione spat. "Your behaviour is unforgiveable and when Harry gets well, I hope he..." She trailed off, unable to wish him any ill-luck; she admitted that Harry was his happiest with Lucius but she was just too angry to reassure him either. "Good day, Mr. Malfoy." She said with a terse nod and disappeared into the fireplace as well.

**000**

***Dream Starts Here***

_Draco was in a dark, empty room; his legs were chained to a wall while his hands, which were shackled at the wrists, rested in front of his groin with a long chain that snaked from the shackles to the ceiling- there was still enough give in the chains to walk around though._

"_Hello!" He called out- no answer. "Where am I?" he bellowed- no answer. Draco was angry now. "Show yourself!" _

_As if on cue, a light came on and shone on a lone figure in the room; it was a little girl no older than four or five with long silver hair that framed her pallor face, her wide eyes were deep green and she wore a short white dress. She stared- no, glared- at Draco and the younger Malfoy flinched from the intensity of the gaze._

_The little girl then frowned and let out a pained cry before hunching over and vomiting blood, painting her white dress crimson. She wailed and scream in pain as more blood poured forth from her mouth and soon, all she did was purge more and more claret. _

_The blood did not flow out of the room, instead it built up until it reached Draco's knees and it was rising fast; Draco panicked and tried to free himself from the chains- the gore was now at his abdomen- however, Draco was tugged roughly towards the wall while his arms were stretched high above his head as the chains suddenly shortened. The more he pulled, the more the chain stretched and with the blood now under his chin, he took deep breathes before his nose went under._

_Through his bloody gaze, Draco saw the little girl floating with her unseeing eyes and mouth wide open- she had choked on her own blood. Draco looked away from the sight and closed his eyes but opened them just as fast when Draco felt a hand on his cheek; Harry smiled down at Draco, apparently untouched by the blood. Draco could not help but notice that even in this hemic hell, Harry still looked beautiful._

"_Draco," Harry whispered clearly despite the impossibility of that happening before gently kissing the blonde man. Draco responded immediately; he did not mind going this way- with the one he loves kissing him. Harry pulled away and smiled again. "I love you." The moment those words left Harry's mouth, a cut appeared on his cheek and bled black into the red sea._

_Draco frowned at the sight. "I love you, Draco Malfoy." Harry said again and another cut, a deeper one, appeared across his torso; it also bled an inky substance, blackening the red around them. Draco shook his head trying to stop Harry from saying those words to him, unable to talk himself due to the blood. "I love you." Another cut at the torso. "I always have..." A cut on his neck. "...I always will." A cut down his thigh._

_The pitch blood continued to ooze from the cuts and soon, all Draco could see was Harry's sweet smile until it all faded into black._

***Dream Ends Here***

Draco woke with a scream; of all the nightmares, that was the worst so far. The blonde got out of bed to get himself a glass of water; ever since Sirius banned him and his father from seeing Harry, he retreated to his apartment in Paris for some peace.

The young Malfoy downed the glass and then stripped- he needed a shower to wash the sweat away. As he thought, he let the cool water run down his subtly muscled physique (yum); _I hope Harry is alright... damn that dog and his werewolf bitch... this is my fault... if only I just left Harry alone... damn my hormones... damn father... damn everyone! _He banged his fist on the tiles with each damnation._ His child is dead because of my stupidity... he was attacked because of my tactlessness... I was tempting fate; I deserve what I got... but Harry deserved none of this. _He turned the knob on the shower and towelled himself before wrapping it around his waist and making his way to his bedroom.

With a quick _Scourgify_, the sheets were cleaned but as he reached to grab another pair of pyjamas, there was a tap at his window; Draco recognised the owl as the Weasleys' and quickly moved to let in the bird. _Perhaps there is news about Harry from Hermione._ The owl was carrying two letters; one normal letter and one howler, both were from Hermione.

Draco gulped and reached for the red envelope; "DRACO MALFOY, I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU; YOU CLAIM TO LOVE HARRY BUT YOU JUST UPPED AND LEFT WHEN HE WAS UNWELL!" Draco gapped, _Sirius told me to stay away!_ It was as if Hermione knew what he would think. "AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP ABOUT SIRIUS BANNING YOU FROM HARRY; I THOUGHT MALFOYS ALWAYS GET WHAT THEY WANT! YOU CLAIM THAT YOU FELL FOR HIM SINCE THE FIRST DAY YOU SAW HIM- NOW PROVE IT! IF YOU ARE NOT BACK HERE IN TWO DAYS, I SWEAR I WILL FIND YOU AND KEDAVRA YOU ON SIGHT!" the letter tore itself to pieces.

Draco had an odd feeling of déjà vu but he reached for the second letter. It read,

_Draco,_

_I will not apologise for the howler but I need your help; Harry has gotten worse, he may need your presence to heal so I need you to get back to London in approximately two days._

_Sirius has temporarily lifted the ban he had placed; you may visit Harry whenever you like (that is, within the curfew) until he is healed. I promise you will not be bullied by anyone should you decide to come back._

_Hermione._

Draco frowned at the letter's bluntness; he and Hermione had grown quite close since the truce. It hurt that she, the most understanding and motherly of them all, was angry with him.

_This is my chance to make everything right... and try to settle things with Sirius... nevertheless, I have a feeling that Ron will jump me the moment I set foot into Grimmuald Place... that is, if I don't get hexed by Sirius or Remus first... screw it!_

With a newfound determination, Draco packed his luggage and dressed up before apparating at the Malfoy manor.

**000**

**Five days later...**

Hermione was worried; ever since Harry came back from the hospital, he has been quiet, he barely eats and he rarely left his room. Lucius and Draco visited Harry everyday but no matter what they did, the brunet would not even acknowledge their presence.

Today, Harry sat at the corner of his bed; he hugged his thighs to his chest and rested his head on his knees, looking languidly out the window.

"Harry." Hermione said cheerfully as she entered the room. "I want you to meet someone." Harry continued to gaze outside, oblivious to her presence.

A woman with jet-black hair and hazel eyes walked into the room; she had a slightly muscled frame and her dirty blonde hair was in a loose ponytail. Behind her, an extraordinarily tall man followed; he was bald with chocolate brown eyes, was dark in complexion and very muscled, his face was hard on the eyes- probably because he rarely smiled.

Hermione introduced the new comers. "This is Edith, your therapist..." she gestured to the lady who nodded and smiled politely. "And that is Gaius, her apprentice." The man nodded as well. "They are here to help you get back on track."

Harry looked up; Hermione almost gasped at how lifeless his beautiful eyes had become. "Thanks Hermione." Harry said and this time, Hermione did gasp- this was the first time Harry had spoken since he saw his child. "But no thanks; I don't need a shrink, I'm not crazy."

Hermione shook her head. "I don't think you are crazy, Harry but you need help."

"I don't need any help..." Harry said louder this time. "I'm just fine."

"But Harry I want to hel-"

Harry groaned in frustration. "What part of I don't need your help do you not understand!" Harry bellowed. "Just because I'm not hungry doesn't mean I'm mad!"

_Hmm... I wonder... _"Harry, you're killing yourself!" Hermione cried. "It's not only a loss of appetite but you don't sleep, you don't go outside, you don't talk to anyone... what the hell am I supposed to do, just sit and watch you die!"

Harry stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed his arms. "You don't have to do anything!" he snarled.

"I'm you friend, Harry!" Hermione cried incredulously. "I'm helping you whether you like it or not."

"Fuck off, Hermione!" Harry yelled. "Why do you always have to poke your nose into every bloody thing that happens... I just want to be left alone!" Light bulbs shattered as a wave of wild magic washed over the room.

"I am not leaving you alone because I care, you stubborn idiot!" Hermione yelled back. "I'll put you in a body bind if I have to."

Harry jumped out of bed and glared at the woman. "Not if I petrify your ass, first." He countered.

Remus ran into the room. "What's going on?" he gasped when he saw Harry standing; no one has gotten Harry to do anything since his discharge.

"Harry is being a stupid prat!" Hermione whined childishly.

"Well, Hermione is being a nosy hag!" Harry added not looking away from the woman.

"How dare you!" Hermione screamed. "I'm trying to help you!"

Harry pulled on his hair and gave an irritated cry. "How many time do I have to say it!" he yelled. "I don't want your bloody..." Harry trailed off when Sirius ran into the room. The spark that was in Harry's angry eyes moments ago disappeared and his face slackened; he quietly walked to the window seat and curled up on the cushions, gazing outside once again.

"Harry?" Sirius said; he made to go to his godson but Hermione placed her hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

Hermione ushered everyone out of the room. "We'll be outside if you need us, Harry." The brunet man did nothing.

The moment the door clicked shut, Sirius and Remus bombarded Hermione with questions. "It was an experiment I was trying." Hermione said. "I thought I'd strike a nerve and apparently I did; you know Harry always carries his burdens alone so I thought I'll bring him help." She gestured to Edith and Gaius.

"To be honest, I only thought about getting him to engage in the argument longer a while after he first spoke; he's too proud to ask for help and too stubborn to want any."

"Then why did he stop when Sirius came into the room?" Remus asked.

"I can answer that." Edith spoke for the first time. "After considering the events that led to Mr. Potter's condition, Mr. Black may be a trigger for this languid state he is in."

"What!" Sirius barked. "Are you trying to say I caused _that_!" he pointed at the door they came out of.

"Forgive me, Mr. Black but Harry's depression is due to guilt; you trigger his guilt which in turn triggers the depression." Edith said calmly. "If either Malfoys were around, it may be the same thing- this is much deeper than depression though."

Hermione nodded slowly in understanding; Harry was guilty for not listening to Sirius, he was ashamed for cheating on Lucius, he felt guilty for kissing Draco and his daughter's death.

"Is there anything we can do?" Sirius asked.

Edith nodded. "I'll start a session with him as soon as possible and try to get him to interact with people." She said professionally. "We need to get him on a proper diet so that he doesn't burn out. I'll start with basic conversations tomorrow."

Sirius remained quiet while Remus and Hermione thanked Edith- All they could do was hope for a miracle.

_**A/N:**__ yup... there's Edith (not much, is she?... or is she?) ;)... the dream scene may be a little sick but I guess it turned out well... I always write dream sequences with meanings attached to them, can anyone decipher this one?... I won't be able to update in a while because honestly, I have some pretty tough classes this semester, so I may post new chapter every two to three weeks but I'll try to get it up earlier... more angst and drama occurs in the later chapters; we learn how Sirius and Remus became a couple, we see how Harry is coping with his depression, Lucius and Severus get green thumbs (not really) and Harry gets uber mad... once again, I apologise if this chapter seems rushed... review!_


	18. Chapter 19

_Hey bro-hams... I'm still feeling under the weather but I'm healing nicely... once again, I am very sorry for the last chapter... although this one is also not up to par, I hope it makes up for it... enjoy!_

**Warning:** this chapter contains our favourite conscience, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, roses, Lucius, conniving, Edith and Gaius.

_Thoughts_

_**Harry's conscience**_

CHAPTER 18: ROSES ARE RED... HARRY IS BLUE

**November 2007**

_**What are you doing, Harry?**_

Harry blinked; once again, he was curled on the cushions in front of the window. "I'm enjoying the view." He said. It has been a while since the voice in his head decided to grace him with its presence.

_**No, I mean what are you doing sulking...**_

"I'm not sulking." Harry said weakly.

_**Yes, you are... I know you lost her, Harry, I'm hurting as well but you don't even care enough to realise that your family is worried about you...**_

"I know Ron and Hermione and the others worry about me... I'm fine."

_**No, you are not! For God's sake, Harry, Edith has been trying to engage you in conversation for weeks! You won't even talk to Hermione now!**_

"Why does she care; Hermione has better things to do than care about me." Harry said bitterly. "Why is she wasting her time on me?"

_**She cares about you because she's your friend, you dumbass!... so does Sirius.**_

"I can't talk to Sirius." Harry said. "He doesn't love me, he just took pity on me... I don't want his pity."

_**Quit lying to yourself... AKA me! You were scared to face him... and what did you do? You retreated into your mind; how Gryffindor!**_

"Shut it." Harry griped.

_**Stop acting like a child and grow up, Harry Potter... this is the real world; Lady luck may have smiled upon you one time too many during the war but now, you have to buck up and get a life!**_

"Shut up!" Harry shouted.

_**I will not shut up! You're not man enough to face your godfather, what makes you man enough to tell me what to do!**_

_Because you're me!_

_**Ha! Let me tell you this; as long as you remain like this, like a fucking corpse, you will never be Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, the man Lucius and Draco fell in love with.**_

"That man is dead." Harry mumbled.

_**Nope, that man is sleeping... and I'm fucking tired of trying to advice you and at the end of the day, you just ignore me! Listen for once, you prick!**_

"Go fuck yourself!" Harry yelled. "I don't need your help or advice!"

_**Fine!**_

"Fine!"

_**Good!**_

"Brilliant!"

**000**

Hermione was checking up on Harry when she heard muffled words coming from the room. "... I'm fine." That was Harry's voice.

Hermione opened the door slowly and she saw Harry rocking back and forth on the cushions; although he had recovered physically, he was still paler than usual, he was losing weight at a frightening rate and the dark circles under his eyes stood out vividly on his snow-white face. "Harry?" Hermione called, moving towards him. "Are you alright?"

"Why does she care; Hermione has better things to do than care about me." Harry said bitterly. "Why is she wasting her time on me?"

Hermione frowned and shook her head. "I'm not wasting my time on you, Harry." She sat opposite her best friend on the cushions. "I want to help you."

"I can't talk to Sirius." Harry said. "He doesn't love me, he just took pity on me... I don't want his pity."

"No, Harry, Sirius has always loved you." She protested. "He feels awful for what happ-."

"Shut it." Harry griped.

Hermione's frown deepened. "What?"

"Shut up!" Harry shouted.

"Harry, please let me in." Hermione pleaded. "Please talk to me or Ron... he's worried sick about you..." she was oblivious to the tear that ran down her left cheek. "Harry, please we need you to come back to us... we'll work things out... please."

"That man is dead." Harry mumbled.

"Harry, no you're still in there... I saw you!" Hermione said, she reached to touch him but stopped; Harry did not do well with body contact since the accident. "Please talk to me."

"Go fuck yourself!" Harry yelled. "I don't need your help or advice!" Hermione watched silently as an angry spark lit up Harry's eyes.

"Fine!" Harry yelled.

"Harry?" Hermione stared at Harry with worry.

Harry huffed. "Brilliant!"

Hermione was getting scared now. "Harry, snap out of it!" without thinking, she squeezed Harry's shoulder. The response was immediate; Harry flinched away with a startled cry, he then blinked a few times at Hermione before rubbing his wrist in his usual manner.

"Hello 'Mione." Harry mumbled lowly.

Hermione grinned widely albeit the tears. "Hey, Harry." She said merrily.

Harry frowned at Hermione. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

Hermione blinked and quickly wiped away her tears. "I was peeling onions a while ago." She lied easily, not wanting to make Harry feel anymore guilty than he already is.

They remained in silence for a few moments before Hermione spoke. "Does it hurt?" she gestured for Harry's wrist, which he was still rubbing; the Medi-witches said he was completely healed, Hermione had double-checked herself- there were no more bruises.

Harry shook his head. "No."

Hermione nodded, not wanting to push him any further. "So Harry, who were you talking to?" she asked.

Harry looked up. "Myself." He said truthfully. "He won't shut up." Hermione remained quiet as she saw a myriad of emotions play across Harry's face; anger, sadness, confusion. "I guess I _am_ crazy."

Hermione shook her head. "No." She said. "It's normal: your conscience talks to you and you talk back."

"But mine's a bitch!" Harry cried. "He's like Snape and Mrs. Weasley wrapped in one."

Hermione chuckled. "You got it easy; mine is like Professor McGonagall and Madame Promfrey- always demanding the best and always chastising me."

Harry stared at her and frowned before he said, "Snape and Mrs. Weasley together is a bigger bitch by default!"

Hermione shook her head. "But Severus is not our professor anymore... he's half the bitch he was in Hogwarts."

Harry scoffed. "You have no idea what I'll give to make my conscience half the bitch he is."

Hermione's grin returned. "I bet I can double it."

"You don't have a dick so I don't think you can." Harry said matter-of-factly.

Hermione stared at the brunet for a moment before she burst into laughter and Harry smiled for the first time in a month.

**000**

**Five Days Later...**

"How did you do it, Hermione." Remus asked; he stared at a smiling Harry as Neville and Ron were arguing about which Quidditch team was better while Luna just shook her head in defeat.

"I didn't do anything." Hermione said. "Perhaps he had an epiphany."

Remus shook his head in amazement and laughed when he saw Harry chuckle; although Harry was now talking, body contact still made him flinch, he still had a loss of appetite and insomnia- he was so thin, Mrs. Weasley almost blew the house down when she visited.

"If only Sirius could see him." Hermione said sadly and Remus nodded.

Sirius stayed away from Harry at all costs, especially now that he was getting better; he and Hermione thought it would be best until when Harry decides that he is ready to talk to him.

"He says he wants to see Lucius." Hermione said lowly.

Remus blinked and frowned. "Are you sure it's for the best?" he asked. "Shouldn't he wait for a month or something?"

Hermione shrugged. "He says he wants to see Lucius." She repeated. "If I say no, Harry will throw a fit about not wanting to be treated like a child... and from what I saw at St. Mungos, I'm going to give him what he wants until he's fully healed."

Remus bit his lips nervously but nodded; he knew firsthand what Harry could do if provoked, however, he could not help but have a bad feeling about it.

**000**

**Present Day (Harry's Birthday)**

Once again, Sirius could not celebrate Harry's birthday with him; last year he wanted to go to the manor and perhaps apologise to Harry but then he came down with a fever. Now, his godson/son was slowly but surely recovering from the poison used by Romulus.

Sirius scolded himself repeatedly with the same words; _if only I had stayed home, I might have been able to stop the mad man._ He could not blame Remus for thinking he was Severus- both men were close friends at Hogwarts.

Sirius continued to muse in his study, silently praying that Harry would not lapse into another depressive state; he raised his head up from his desk after hours of dozing, thinking and dozing again. In the middle of the desk was a single red rose with a small note addressed to Sirius beside it.

***FLASHBACK***

Sirius spent most of his days in the study and kitchen; since Edith said his presence might trigger his depression, he secluded himself from the world until Harry was asleep. Remus would come back with stories of how happy Harry was and most times, Sirius would look at his memories in a penseive (A/N: not sure if that is the correct spelling).

Nothing strange has happened, till today, Sirius as usual, was making his way to do some work in his study; when he opened the door, the first thing he spotted was a single red rose on the desk. At first, he thought it was cursed and cast several revealing spells on it but it turned up clean; he picked up a small slip of paper that read,

_Sirius,_

_I hope this makes you smile...You look beautiful when you smile. _

Sirius did smile a little but it quickly faded; this secret admirer was most likely toying with his emotions. Sirius threw the rose and note into the small bin behind his desk. _I don't have time for romance... Harry needs me._

The next few days passed by in the same manner; whenever he entered his study, there was a rose waiting for him with an affectionate letter beside it but each time he threw them away.

One morning, he got a shock of his life when he was greeted by dozens upon dozens of roses; on his desk was the familiar small slip of paper.

_Good luck trying to get rid of these..._

After that day, Sirius kept each rose he received in a vase and the notes on a small box, he even looked forward to each morning knowing that there was someone who still cared enough to send him roses. However, there was still a matter of _who _the secret admirer was.

This morning Sirius woke up extra early to get to his rose. "Remus?" he said when he saw the werewolf in his study.

"Good morning, Sirius." Remus said with a kind smile. "You're up early."

Sirius raised a brow. "So are you." He said as a greeting. "Do you need something?"

Remus shrugged. "It's hard not to notice sixty dozen roses; anyone could smell it." He said and then picked up the note on the desk. "Your girlfriend writes cheesy love note."

Sirius blushed. "She's not my girlfriend." He cried and snatched the note from the werewolf. "I don't even know if it is a she."

"Wow, Sirius." Remus said with a laugh. "You got it bad."

Sirius blinked. "What?" At Remus' look, he said, "I'm not in love, Remus."

"Oh?" Remus said; he picked up the rose and pulled off a petal. "So you won't mind if I play with this."

Sirius took the flower from Remus. "Yes, I would mind; I don't want another sixty dozen roses stopping me from working." He said. "Besides, I don't have time for girlfriends... how's Harry?"

Remus shrugged again. "He's feeling well; he's beginning to eat a bit but his insomnia is worse- he gets nightmares every time he tries to sleep."

"Why not just give him a dreamless sleep potion?" Sirius asked; he placed his rose in a vase full of older roses.

"We can't give him a dreamless sleep potion every day." Remus said with a sigh. "They are addictive."

They stayed in silence for a few minutes before Sirius spoke. "He'll get better, right?" he asked softly.

"He's strong." Remus said matter-of-factly. "He'll pull through." Sirius nodded. "So when do I get to meet this girlfriend of yours."

"Out!" Sirius said feigning irritation

Remus raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, I'm going."

**000**

_Why didn't Remus not tell me!... I have a bad feeling about this... oh God, Harry why are you so decent?... and where the fuck is Remus!_

Two days later, Sirius was looking for Remus; he just received news from Hermione that Harry wanted to see Lucius. Remus was not in his study, nor was he in the garden, kitchen, dining room or living room. Which leaves only one place...

...Sirius marched towards his study and pushed the door open; Remus had just placed a rose on his desk.

"You." Sirius gasped.

Remus looked up. "Sirius." He then hid the flower behind his back. "I can explain."

"You sent the roses." Sirius said and Remus nodded. "You wrote those stupid notes... for what, to get a laugh? What sort of sick game was that?" Sirius barked.

"No." Remus said. "It's not like that... I... was just trying to cheer you up... you've been down for months."

"That's it?" Sirius yelled. "You toyed with my emotions... and you expect me to be fine with it?"

Remus blinked. "Wait, you loved the roses."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Who wouldn't; you called me beautiful and sent me red roses." He said matter-of-factly before frowning. "Of course I loved them... to be honest, I thought that whoever sent me those must have some feelings for me... but I guess I was far off... I mean, who would love me after what I did to Harry?"

Remus blinked again and dropped the rose; he marched towards Sirius who back away a little however, Remus reached out and yanked Sirius back. "I would." With those words, Remus kissed Sirius deeply.

Sirius allowed himself to drift into this small world of happiness; after all that has happened, he allowed himself this privilege to let go. He kissed back fiercely and soon both were fighting for dominance with their tongues; Remus growled, pulled back and started attacking Sirius' ear- even in his animagus form that was the place he loved to be scratched. Sirius melted and moaned; Remus' nips were making him dizzy, he would have fallen if it were not for the strong hold on his arms.

When Remus was sure Sirius was distracted, he dove back for another deep kiss, winning the fight; he pushed Sirius towards the desk and pulled Sirius' legs around his waist before stripping his new lover and making love to him on the desk.

Sirius knew the usually cool-headed Remus was rough now because the full moon was coming out tonight; the thrusts were painful enough to make him cry but he bit his lips to stifle himself. As if Remus read his mind, the thrusts became gentle, hitting his prostate in a sensual manner; Sirius moaned as Remus pulled out until the only the tip was left before slamming back in. The pace became fast again but it was not a painful as last time, soon both men were coming.

They leaned on each other, panting hard before Remus pulled Sirius in for another deep kiss. "I hurt you." He said. "I'm sorry."

Sirius shook his head. "I needed that." He said, kissing _his_ werewolf again. "I love you."

Remus' eyes widened; he only befriended James Potter in Hogwarts to get closer to Sirius- he hated the way the Gryffindor bullied Severus. However, his plan backfired when James came up with the idea of them becoming animagi to keep him company during his transformation: they have been inseparable ever since. When Remus remained quiet for too long, Sirius looked away but Remus gently turned his face back. "I love you too."

Sirius smiled and they kissed again, silently celebrating their love for each other.

***FLASHBACK ENDS***

Sirius smiled at the memory and picked up the rose. "I know you're here, Remus." He called.

The air shimmered beside him and suddenly Remus was standing by his desk with a goofy smile. "I thought I was being subtle."

Sirius shook his head. "Don't be." He said and kissed the werewolf. "It doesn't suit you." Remus chuckled. "What about Harry?" Sirius asked, serious again.

Remus shook his head. "Severus said he's going to be better."

"But he was raped." Sirius cried. "God, Remus... I should have been home... I would have been able to stop hi-"

Remus cut off his love with a kiss that had Sirius moaning. "Don't do that." He said as he smooth the worry lines that marred Sirius' face. "You look beautiful when you smile."

Sirius smiled at that and kissed his lover in appreciation.

**000**

**November 2007**

Lucius approached Harry's room quietly; he was surprised when Hermione summoned him to speak with Harry- he stayed away when Edith said that he or Draco might cause Harry to fall back into his depression.

The blonde slowly opened the door; Harry was at his designated spot by the window- he looked healthier (he was still too thin but there was a bit of colour back on his cheeks and the dark circles under those green depts were fading) for which Lucius was grateful for but his eyes still held such pain that Lucius felt his heart ache a little.

"Hello Lucius." Harry said lowly, not looking away from the scene outside the glass pane.

Lucius shivered at the icy tone. "Good afternoon, Harry." He replied politely, sitting on the edge of Harry's bed. "You look well."

Harry ignored his former lover's comment but slowly pinned Lucius with an agonized gaze. "Where is she?" he asked.

Lucius sighed. "I buried her a month ago at Godric's Hollow beside your parents." He said. "I named her Lily Helena Potter-Malfoy... does it suffice?"

Harry nodded. "Thank you." He said lowly and went back to looking out the window. "You may leave."

"Harry, please." Lucius pleaded. "Talk to me."

"Talking is not going to bring my little Lily back, is it?" Harry asked in the same monotonously low voice. "Besides, you said all that you needed to that day..."

Lucius got up from the bed and slowly made his way towards Harry; after what he observed in the morgue, he did not want to scare him again. "Harry, I'm sorry." He said. "I'll say it a thousand times if I have to... please forgive me... come back with me."

"You're sorry." Harry gave a bitter laugh at that. "Sorry will not bring her back... sorry will not erase the pain I went through... nor will it change the fact that you threw me out like a common whore." The brunet's eyes snapped back to look at Lucius. "You can apologise a million times, _Malfoy_... I'm not coming back."

Lucius was now standing on the other side of the window, opposite Harry. "I was angry, Harry." He said. "The way I saw you both kiss each other I... I felt betrayed, Harry."

Harry laughed louder. "You're one to talk." He stood up from his spot and paced the room slowly. "All those promises you made... you said you'll never leave me... you promised to support every decision I made... you didn't even give me a moment to explain myself... all because of what, a kiss?" Harry laughed again, they were getting more maniacal by the moment. "Go spew your crap elsewhere... I'm done."

"You're acting as if I'm the one at fault." Lucius said angrily. "Yes, I over-reacted but you and Draco are as much culprits as I am a Malfoy."

Harry glared at Lucius. "Do you think I wanted to meet those thugs!" he yelled- light bulbs shattered in the room. "Are you trying to say I wanted my daughter to die like an animal... at the hands of some crack addicts who wanted a little _fun_?"

"If you hadn't kissed Draco, I wouldn't have found out and you would not have been attacked!" Lucius said loudly- he did not want to yell but he was now very irritated. "Draco said he forced himself on you but I know better..."

"You're right; Draco didn't force himself on me, I kissed him back." Harry said. "And you know what, although I regret my actions today... I enjoyed it." He smiled at those last words to spite his former lover.

Lucius' face was red. "All I ever did was love you!" he yelled. "When Sirius threw you out, who took you in... who took care of you... it was me!"

Harry raised a brow. "I thought you said you had no expectations of me."

"Those words were not an invite to sell yourself to the next bidder!" Lucius yelled. "For that single moment you kissed Draco, you trampled on everything; my trust, my love and my heart."

Harry silently glared at Lucius, his eyes widened though when Lucius' lips were suddenly on his; flashes of the attack hit him like a ton of bricks and Harry desperately tried to free himself of the hold. With a cry, Harry pushed Lucius away and punched him in the jaw.

When Harry came back to himself, it was too late; Lucius looked stunned, he placed a hand on the struck area and stared at Harry. The brunet could see Lucius' eyes water a little; he could practically see the hurt, pain and betrayal that flashed in those grey pools he had come to adore.

When Lucius felt his eyes prickle, he looked down. "Goodbye Harry."

Harry could only watch as the blonde walked away; _God, I'm such a prick..._ _Lucius had lost a daughter too and to add insult to injury, I had betrayed him... why did I hit him... why didn't he hit me back... I deserve it!_ Harry sunk down to the floor and cried in shame. _My fault... my fault... all my fault..._

**000**

Gaius waited patiently for Edith to come back; she had gone to tend to Harry who had apparently lapsed back into a depressive state but this time, it was worse.

_Can't the little arse just die already... I'm tired of acting like an idiot... why didn't we just take him out in the beginning... _

Gaius gave a great sigh when Edith walked into the room. "What took you so long?" He barked. "Do you know how long I have been waiting?"

"Frankly, sweetheart I don't give a damn." Edith said calmly.

Gaius scowled. "Why do _you_ get to be the therapist?" he whined. "I hate being a stupid apprentice."

"But you play stupid so well." Edith said dryly. "Besides, it is not easy being a sweet and... _patient_ therapist, which you don't know how to be. That Potter boy is too sick to do anything anymore and the others are concentrating more on his health than security... now is our chance to strike."

"No more playing Medi-witch?" Gaius smiled. "Finally some action!" he whooped.

"Keep your voice down, you imp." Edith hissed. "Do you want Malfoy to have our heads?"

Edith and Gaius had been given the guest chalet at the Malfoy manor for the length of their stay.

Gaius waved his hand dismissively. "Please, the old man is too heartbroken to even eat and the ferret is too busy trying to get over his love sickness with hookers."

Edith sighed and glared at the man. "That does not mean we should throw caution to the wind." She chided harshly. "We have to make our plans now; call my brother and tell him to prepare."

Gaius groaned. "Why can't _you_ call Romulus?" he whined. "He doesn't like me."

"Well, seeing that you are going to be his brother-in-law, I suggest you start getting used to that idea." Edith spat. "Tell him we need the potion in four days."

"Yes dear." Gaius said with a sigh. "Do I at least get to play with Potter first... you know, sow my wild oats?" he finished with a sly smile and a wiggle of his brow.

Edith grinned devilishly. "Of course, darling." She said sweetly. "Anything for my future husband."

_**A/N:**__ Too fast a pace? I agree- but don't forget I'm still recovering from my sickness... most times, when I write a story, I listen to songs or look at pictures before inspiration slaps me in the face... as I was writing the scene with Lucius and Harry, I was listening to 'Never meant to belong' from Bleach (OMG, that song makes me cry all the time!)... it was a miracle I was able to get this chapter up so soon but don't forget, I am quite busy so pray that I get the time to upload early... I have a feeling that this chapter may have been too fluffy, was it?... what could Edith be planning... can the others stop them?... stay tuned...oh, and review (preferably with more than three words)..._


	19. Chapter 20

_Finally, I have updated... thank God... I'm a bit disappointed readers; only one person reviewed the last chapter... just one... did I wrong you guys in any way or was the chapter too boring to care... I know the last one sucked a bit but come on, ONE PERSON... really?... but enough whining... on to the story... enjoy!_

**Warning:** this chapter contains cutting, conniving, [we take a journey to] Harry's subconscious, Buggy (haven't seen him in a while), Lucius, Sirius, Remus and flirting.

_**Harry's conscious**_

_Thoughts_

CHAPTER 19: SNATCH

**December 2007**

Cut. Blood. Drip.

_L..._

Blade gleaming dully in the light.

Cut. Blood. Drip.

_I..._

The dull thud of blood and tile meeting.

Cut. Blood. Drip.

_L..._

Dizziness and the stench of blood overwhelm the space.

Cut. Blood. Drip.

_Y..._

He smiles down at his at his work like a carpenter who had just completed a day's hard labour or an artist who had just finished his masterpiece.

"Lily."

At the moment, Harry Potter sat cross legged in the bathroom with his arms decorated with cuts; the left arm had six horizontal cuts for Lucius and the right had four identical cuts for Lily.

"Harry?" Neville's voice rang from outside.

The blade fell out of Harry's weak hand and he sat waiting to die; he made sure he had locked the door in case any of his friends decided to play hero.

"Mate, are you alright?" That was Ron.

Harry laid his head against the cupboard, hoping that for once his friends would just forget about him.

"Harry, could you open the door, please?" Edith, polite as always, asked.

Harry shook his head, forgetting for a moment that no one could see him; he silently prayed for the blood to hurry on out before they jump to a conclusion.

"Harry." That was Remus. "Harry, if you don't open this door in ten seconds, I'm breaking it down."

Harry closed his eyes. _Ten seconds is all I need... then, I would be with mom and dad... and Lily._

Three seconds later. "_Alohomora_!" The door swung open and the new comers gasped at the bloody sight.

"Oh, my God!" Remus cried. "Call Severus!" he said to no one in particular and Ron ran out. He pulled Harry towards him and looked at his arms. "Why, Harry?"

Harry groaned in reply while Neville held his breath, he could not stand the smell of blood since the war.

Ron came back with Severus, Lucius, Draco, Sirius and Hermione at his heels. "Harry!" Hermione cried.

Severus quickly made his way towards Harry and held his left arm. "Of all the things to consider, Potter, this is the most cowardice." He started healing the cuts.

Harry whimpered and tried to flinch away but Remus held him. "Shush, Harry." He cooed as he stroked Harry's hair. "Severus is going to heal you, and then you'll be all better."

Harry's eyes snapped open at that; Remus and Severus were flung back as Harry put up a shield around himself.

"What the hell did he do?" Ron yelled.

"He's protecting himself." Lucius said. "Or in this case, the cuts."

"Why?" Neville asked. "He'll die if-" he stopped when realisation dawned on him. "Can't we break it?"

Hermione shook her head. "Most wizards do this unconsciously when they are in danger but too weak to fight- it stalls the attacker long enough for help to arrive." She said. "It won't take long to break but it will take a toll on his body... Harry has to _allow_ us to enter."

"I have an idea." Lucius said and slowly made his way towards the brunet who was curled up in a ball.

Harry looked up at Lucius and smiled. "Hey, Luc!" he called happily. "Look at these," he showed his arms.

"Why did you do this, Harry?" Lucius asked gently, kneeling a few centimetres from Harry.

The brunet shrugged. "I've had enough... first of all the war took my parents and Ginny from me... then, my child dies... and you hate me." he listed cheerily.

Lucius moved closer. "I don't hate you." He said.

Harry's smile faded and he frowned. "Why?" He asked. "I cheated on you... I hit you... why didn't you hit me back?"

Lucius moved closer and now their breaths mingled with each other. "I didn't hit you because I love you."

Harry looked at Lucius incredulously. "Really?" Lucius nodded. "Even after I cheated on you?" Lucius nodded again and Harry smiled. "Thank you, Luc." He snuggled up to the blonde who gladly held him. "It's too bad I'm dying though..."

"No Harry." Lucius said with a frown and stroked Harry's hair like Remus had done. "We can start over."

"Luc, I let you in because I know you are clueless at healing spells." Harry laughed weakly at that. "We can't start over; it won't be the same." He said sleepily. "Besides, I want to see my mom and dad... and then I'll be able to play with Lily."

"And you will..." Lucius said before he whispered something into Harry's ear and the brunet fell asleep. "... just not now." He finished.

The shield dissolved and Severus came back to continue with the healing spells; when he was done, he magiked a blood-replenishing potion and nourishment potion into Harry. "He'll be fine." Severus said. "He just needs rest now."

"What did you do?" Ron asked Lucius.

Everyone watched silently as Lucius gently carried his love to his bed and tucked him in. "I used a sleeping spell on him." He said curtly before placing a kiss to the forehead. He turned to Sirius. "I am sorry for all of this; I shall pay for the remainder of Harry's treatment."

Sirius glared at the blonde. "We don't want your money." He growled.

Lucius just nodded. "Nevertheless, I will pay for it." With one last glance to Harry, he left Grimmuald Place.

**000**

"How long do you think it would take?" Romulus asked his sister.

Edith shrugged. "If all goes as planned, it shouldn't take any more than thirty minutes- an hour at most."

Gaius sat quietly on the armchair as he watched the Syracuse siblings converse about the plan; improving it where needed and changing it where complicated.

"Is the safe house prepared?" Edith asked and Romulus nodded. "Good, I'll meet you then, brother."

Romulus nodded. "If you are not there in an hour, I'm storming Grimmuald Place."

Edith rolled her eyes. "Yes, big brother." She placed a kiss on his cheek and motioned for Gaius to stand up; Gaius and Edith made their way to the fireplace and disappeared in a burst of green flames.

**000**

"Do I _really_ love Harry?" Draco asked; he was tipsy from the bottles of firewhiskey had been downing.

Severus looked up from his book to glare at his godson; he and Draco had left Grimmuald Place for the Prince manor when he had finished healing Harry. "Do you?" he asked.

"I don't know." Draco said with a shrug. "I would give my left kidney for him." He said.

Severus gave an amused smile; Draco was the funniest drunk he had ever met. "Oh? And what about the right one?" he asked.

Draco blinked before he smacked his forehead. "That's right, I have two!" he declared with an innocent countenance.

Severus chuckled and shook his head. "Draco, I advise you to stop with the alcohol."

Draco stuck his tongue out at his godfather but placed the half-full tumbler on the table beside him. "He tried to kill himself... was it so bad that he would go to such measures?" he said soberly.

Severus smirked. "He's a coward; he's been spoon-fed all his life and now that life got a little tough, he tucked his tail between his legs and-"

The blonde stood up so fast, the table beside him almost tipped over. "DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM THAT WAY!" Draco yelled; he glared at Severus despite being drunk and he flashed his teeth in a snarl.

Severus just raised a brow and looked back to his book. "If I wanted an animal, Draco I would have gotten a dog."

Draco blinked and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Sev." He said.

Severus hummed uncommitted. "At least you've answered your question." At Draco's frown, he sighed. "Never, Draco, have you ever stood up for any of your friends, not even Zabini."

Draco scoffed and sat back down. "Well, they're prats."

"You've said worse about Potter." Severus said, he dropped his book and focused his attention on Draco. "You cannot replicate love, Draco; I've seen the men you've _'snuck in'_- short, dark hair, green eyes... what do you hope to get from that? Loyalty? a relationship? It's pathetic." He finished with a grimace.

"I know, Sev." Draco said softly. "But I can't have Harry."

"And what makes you say that." Severus asked with a raised brow.

"Didn't you hear?" Draco asked. "Father wants them to start over." Draco had not spoken to his father since Harry's rampage at St. Mungos; even when they came to visit Harry, one left as the other arrived and vice versa.

"But they will not." Severus said.

Draco laughed. "Tell that to father; he'll do all it takes to get what he want."

"Then why can't _you_?" The potions master asked.

Draco shook his head. "Because unlike most people, I know when to quit... I know when something just cannot be attained." He said. "That's why I'm letting him go."

Severus blinked. "What?" he asked. "After everything you went through; standing in the backdrop so that Potter won't see how miserable you were... it took a bottle of firewhisky to loosen your tongue and now, you're just going to give up." Severus smirked. "You are as spineless as Potter."

"Harry is not spineless." Draco spat. "He's a hero."

"And you're a fool; if you let your father take Potter again, you'll lose him forever." Severus said.

Draco sighed and stood up. "So be it." He donned his jacket and ran his fingers through silver hair. "Harry gave me this muggle book to read once, one of the characters- Jacob- said, letting go is the greatest display of love you can show... I'm just paraphrasing but I believe him; why torment someone with promises of love, when they already have it... planting a seed of doubt that is only going to hurt them in the end... it's useless." He said bitterly.

Severus scoffed. "That _book_ is an insult to vampires and werewolves worldwide." He spat. "It's sad that you jot love notes from it."

"_Nevertheless._" Draco growled deliberately slow. "If it wasn't for me, Harry would still be with child- this is my punishment... please let me be."

Severus glared at Draco as he stumbled towards the fireplace and disappeared. _Oh, Draco you have no idea how wrong you are._

**000**

Harry was floating in pitch nothingness; he allowed himself to be pulled away from the small tunnel of light that was reality.

_**Harry...**_ a voice as soft as a lullaby whispered gently; he opened his eyes and beside him was a man in dark robes who seemed to be standing on nothing but air so dark, it seemed like a solid plane. He looked like Harry in every way; wild dark hair, green eyes and all, except that he was older. _**You're giving up...**_

The man did not open his mouth but Harry knew he was the one talking; He continued to look at his older clone. _I'm tired. _Harry replied mentally. _I've had enough._

The older Harry frowned and cocked his head. _**That's not the Harry I know.**_

_Well, as I said, the Harry you know is dead._ Harry closed his eyes and sighed. _I'm just a shell... I'm useless._

The older Harry shook his head and with a large hand, he stroked Harry's cheek lovingly. _**Don't say that...You're not useless.**_ He chided gently.

Harry shook his head. _Yes, I am... I can't do anything right; I suck at relationships, I suck at cheating... and I sucked at keeping Lily safe.___

The older Harry sighed as well and spread his arms out wide to Harry; Harry willed himself to stand on the dark plane as well before stumbling towards his older self and hugging him. _**You made a mistake... we all make mistakes... it's not the end of the world... don't give up.**_ The older Harry hugged him back.

Harry shook his head. _There's nothing left for me-_

_**What about Draco?**_

Harry glared. _I'd rather not want to date the son of my ex after telling him that Draco is a good kisser... God, that was horrible... all he ever did was take care of me... all he ever wanted was love... I'm a horrible person... why didn't he just let me die!_

_**Because they love you.**_ The older Harry stroked Harry's hair gently. _**They want you to get better.**_

_And then what?_ Harry asked. _I'll spend the rest of my days with guilt- I can't bare it... I __**let**__ Draco kiss me... I punched Luc... I __**let**__ those monsters kill my d- daughter._ His voice broke at the last word and he sobbed into the older man's chest. _I know I'm a coward by staying here but please... I can't go back out there... I can't face them again... please..._ Harry tearfully stumbled through his words.

The older Harry looked at Harry thoughtfully and then nodded. _**I understand... **_He said as he hugged Harry tighter. _**You're safe now... No one will ever hurt you again... **_

**000**

Remus sat with Sirius in the kitchen in silence; both were still horrified about Harry's suicide attempt two days ago. After Lucius had left, Sirius threw a fit and proceeded to break everything in the house... until Hermione threw a sleeping spell his way.

Harry was now catatonic; he did not eat, talk or move, he just laid in bed and looked out the window before falling asleep, only to wake up screaming with a nightmare. It was only Severus' nourishment potions that was keeping him alive, however, it was only a matter of time.

"Masters." Buggy said with a low bow.

"What do you want?" Sirius snapped- he was still pissed.

The house elf flinched. "Forgive me, master but Miss Edith is wanting to see master Harry."

Remus sighed and stood up. "I'll greet them." He said, giving Sirius some time to cool down before he attends to the therapist as well.

As Remus drew close to the living room where the visitors' floo entrance was, the hair on the back of his neck stood; his werewolf transformation was last night, so he had some residual animal senses... now he sensed something was wrong.

"Good evening, Edith." Remus greeted politely.

Edith gave a bright smile. "Remus." She cried cheerily. "How are you?"

Remus shook his head. "We're pulling through... Sirius on the other hand is still... um... _recuperating_ from the attempt."

Edith nodded. "I'm glad." She said and then looked around. "I'm sure this room was beautiful last year." It was nearing Christmas but no one was feeling up to decorating the house since Harry was unwell. Edith sighed and continued. "Would you mind if I check up on Harry; I need to study him so that I'll know what methods to use next time I come over."

"Well, Harry needs to get well first- he needs his rest." Remus said matter-of-factly. "But rest assured that I'll call you as soon as he gets better."

Edith frowned a bit. "But I want to know what to bring next time." she insisted. "Do not underestimate my profession, Mr. Lupin; research is long, tedious and necessary in my field."

Remus was getting irritated now; there was a nagging tug at the back of his head telling him to send them away but he did not want to be rude to Edith... the longer, they stayed, the harder the tug. "I agree but as I said, Harry is resting and-"

"Oh, forget this." Gaius growled. "_Stupefy!_" A stream of blue flew out of his wand and hit Remus right in the chest. At Edith's glare, he shrugged. "You were taking too long... we don't have time to flirt."

Edith blinked. "I was not flirting." She cried.

"Sure." Gaius said dryly. He lifted the stunned statue that was Remus Lupin and started for the cabinet on the west wall- it was large enough to hide a man.

"Remus?" Sirius stood by the door, his eyes wide. Before he could pull out his wand though, Edith had him in a body bind and he fell. "BUGGY, GET HEL-" Edith cast a silencing charm as well.

"Gaius." Edith hissed at the man who was trying to fit Remus' stiff body into the cupboard. "Leave him; close up the floo and raise an apparation ward- nobody comes in, only we go out." The man obeyed.

Edith looked back to Sirius and crouched. "I'm sorry about this, darling but its just business." She cooed as she ran her fingers down his cheeks. "You would have made a _fine_ Death Eater... so handsome." Sirius was so stunned by the discovery that he did not notice that Edith had her lips against his until she bit him. "You taste good too; if I wasn't getting married, I'll have my wicked way with you... then again..." She trailed off suggestively and rubbed her hand down Sirius' chest.

"Stop flirting, Edith." Gaius snarled. "Let's take what we want and go."

With a wink to Sirius, Edith led her fiancé up the stairs. "Jealousy doesn't become you, Gaius." She said with a smile.

Gaius just scoffed.

**000**

Lucius banged on the piano once again; he could not think... not when Harry was like this. He had been trying to conclude the piece he was composing all day- it was the only way to tired him out enough to sleep.

Lucius heard a pop and as fast as lightening, his wand was out, pointed at... a house elf. "Oh, Buggy." Lucius said and lowered his wand. "Do you have news for me?"

The house elf nodded violently. "Master Sirius is telling Buggy to get help." Buggy said. "There be Death Eaters in Grimmuald Place... they be hurting my masters... they wanting to hurt Master Harry."

Lucius' eyes widened; it has been four years since Voldemort's defeat, he did not think that there were still be Death Eaters around. He closed his eyes and tried to apparate; the world shifted a little but he was still in the music room, he then sent a patronus to Draco, Severus and Hermione before racing out of the room with Buggy in tow.

He threw a handful of floo powder into the nearest fireplace. "Grimmuald Place!" he yelled. Nothing happened. "Grimmuald Place!" Nothing.

"They must have blocked the fireplace." He growled and sprinted downstairs when he heard the tell-tale pop of apparation.

Hermione stood in the living room with a concerned look on her face. "Lucius, what happened?" She asked as Severus popped in.

"Harry's home is being raided by Death Eaters as we speak." Lucius said. "I've tried apparating and flooing there but access to the house has been blocked."

Severus looked at Buggy. "Who were they?" he asked the house elf.

Buggy wringed his fingers. "It be Miss Edith and Mister Gaius." He said and the others gasped. "They say they be wanting to check Master Harry."

"You should have gotten Harry out of there!" Lucius bellowed, taking a threatening step towards the elf. "It's your job to protect him!"

Hermione placed her hand on Lucius' shoulder. "If Buggy hadn't gotten out on time, we wouldn't have known that Harry was in trouble."

Buggy cried. "Buggy is bad, sir... Buggy is punishing himself now." he took a lamp and tried to smash it on his head but Draco stopped him.

"What's going on?" he asked- no one had noticed him apparating in.

"Harry is in trouble; Death Eaters are at Grimmuald Place." Hermione said quickly and Draco's eyes widened. "Access to the house has been blocked... flooing and apparating don't-" Draco disapparated. "...work." she finished slowly.

Lucius disapparated as well followed by Severus before Hermione and Buggy joined them. Lucius and Draco were already on their way to Harry's room while Sirius laid motionless at the foot of the stairs with Severus crouched over him. Hermione then spotted Remus by the cabinet and with a quick _Enervate,_ the werewolf fell over.

Remus shook his head and looked around. "Hermione?" he said confused at first, then he jumped. "Edith is a death eater! She and Gaius stun-"

"I know, Remus." Hermione interrupted calmly as she helped him up. "I need you to sit down for a while or you'll get sick."

Remus ignored her. "Where's Sirius?" he asked and marched towards the stairs. When he saw his love's body, he ran for him. "Sirius!" he cried and cradled his love's head in his lap. "Will he be okay?" he asked Severus without looking up from Sirius' face.

Severus nodded. "Just a few bruises and a broken rib." He said calmly. "He'll be healed in no time."

Remus sighed in relief and stroked Sirius' cheeks affectionately causing Severus to stare at him but after a moment, he went back to his work. When he had completely healed his ribs, Sirius stirred and coughed.

"Sirius." Remus cooed and rubbed his chest to soothe the cough.

Sirius opened his eyes and looked around before he burst into tears. "I... I tried to stop them..." he said between sobs. "Moony, I tried... I couldn't... help him..."

Remus stroked Sirius' hair to calm him while Severus frowned; as he was about to question Sirius, the sound of thundering footsteps echoed through the house.

"They took him!" Draco cried from the top of the stairs. "They took Harry."

_**A/N:**__ it continues next time... yes, I'm very cruel... I am a bit befuddled about future chapters I'm about to write... I mixed up some stuff in the past chapters and I'm trying to find a loophole around it... next chapter; Harry's dark side shows a bit... more heart to heart talks and angst ensue... I'll see you in a week or two... review please!_


	20. Chapter 21

_Hey... OMG I'm so over classes, I could kill someone... I'm so busy... I rarely have time to write these days... a friend of mine in school, who is on has stopped writing all together and will resume during the holidays... I don't want to keep you guys waiting that long, especially when there are about five or so chapters left... either way, I will be updating pretty late... please just bear with me and enjoy!_

_I would like to thank __**dan8**__** and **__**YecatsJ **__for their reviews... keep it up, guys..._

_Reply for__** 'Guest': **__I'm looking for____loopholes as to how Severus used Legilimency in chapter 12 without being there... I totally forgot that little but crucial detail... if any of you have any ideas, I all ears.___

_**NOTICE: **__once again, please review with an alias if you are not a member of this site... the above reply was a bit awkward to me._

**Warning:** this chapter does not contain eggshells but it contains Harry's conscience (?), a tornado (sort of), wild magic, Death Eaters, Lucius, Hermione, etc.

CHAPTER 20: EGG SHELLS

**December 2007**

Harry sat contentedly in his older clone's embrace- he knew he was safe here; he will not hurt Lucius, Draco will not seduce him, Sirius will not hate him and others will not pity him.

_**Harry.**_ The older Harry whispered urgently. _**You are in danger.**_

Harry frowned. _What?_

_**You have been captured by Death Eaters... they will kill you.**_

Harry just blinked. _How do you know that?_ He asked.

His clone rolled his eyes. _**You may be AWOL at the moment but we are still very much alive.**_ The older Harry said matter-of-factly. _**We have not COMPLETELY lost touch with reality.**_

Harry scowled and closed his eyes. _I don't care anymore._ He grumbled as he snuggled up to the addictive warmth.

_**I know you want to die, Harry; but do not let it be at the hands of Death Eaters... they are the followers of the man who killed your parents.**_ Harry opened his eyes again and looked at the man. _**I understand your reasons, Harry... if you let me, I will help you save yourself and I will not stand in your way if you still decide to end your life afterwards... **_

Harry's face contorted as he mused about his options; his conscience was right (as always), dying at the hands of Death Eaters is not an honourable escape, no matter how suicidal he was; He would rather die of malaria than at the hands of murderers.

_Alright, what do we do?_ He asked finally.

The older Harry smiled. _**I need you to lend me some magic... you don't have to go back out there if you don't want to... just leave it all to me. **_

Harry relaxed and allowed his magic to seep into the man holding him; the dark nothingness was turning into a pale grey hue as the bright tunnel slowly moved back towards them.

A red tinge of light surrounded the pair- it glowed brighter and brighter until all Harry could see was white.

**000**

**Present Day (July 2008)**

Lucius sat by Harry's bedside once again; it has been two weeks since Romulus' attack and Severus has been giving Harry potions for his recovery. The potions master had told Lucius that Harry will be back to normal soon but he could not help but worry about what would happen when Harry wakes up.

***FLASHBACK***

Harry had been talking in his slumber since Romulus' attack; Hermione said he had slipped into another memory sleep.

Lucius had just apparated back to Grimmuald Place after he went to the manor to take a bath when the house moaned and shuddered. Lucius frowned and Remus who was in the kitchen poked his head out of the door while Sirius raced out of his study.

The house creaked again and shook a bit more violently, causing the trio to lurch forward. "What the hell?" Remus cursed.

"MASTERS!" Buggy wailed as he appeared. "It be Master Harry... he be awake... he be angry!" A smash of glass echoed through the house as if to emphasise the elf's statement.

The three men raced up the stairs and Remus almost slipped as they turned the corner that led to the brunet's room.

When they entered, they froze at the sight; Harry sat rocking back and forth on the bed, mumbling to himself while a tornado of combs, papers, shoes and clothes revolved around him, occasionally tossing things out of its axis. Shards of glass, which Remus recognised as an empty potion bottle, stuck out of the wall and pooled at the foot of the bed.

"She's dead... my fault... she's dead... my fault." Harry kept chanting this to himself; his eyes were glazed over and his face was puffy from crying.

"Oh, God." Sirius whispered; He started to make his way towards Harry but a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him.

Lucius shook his head at Sirius. "Let me." He said. Lucius stayed alert, ready to smash away any stray object heading towards him and cautiously made his way to the bed, ducking under a flying Quidditch poster.

Harry's eyes snapped to him; the fog disappeared as he glared at Lucius. "_You._" He growled. "You let this happen... you threw me away... then you pretend that nothing ever happened!"

The tornado spun faster, pulling up more items from the wall and making the shelves buckle (everyone could practically taste the wild magic as it thickened) but Lucius said nothing and continued towards the bed.

"Stay away from me... don't think that I will ever forgive you for this... I hate you!" Harry bellowed.

Lucius finally got to the bed and slowly climbed on it. "Harry, calm down." He said gently as he crawled towards Harry.

"NO... stay away from me!" Harry screamed but Lucius kept coming closer. "Fuck off... get away from me!" Lucius was right in front of Harry now. "I said, leave me alone!" Harry swung his fist at him but Lucius caught it and pulled the brunet into a hug. "Get off me!" Harry yelled and kicked. "Get off... I hate you... I hate you... I hate you... I HATE YOU!" Harry screeched as he pounded his fist on the blonde's chest, occasionally scratching at his face but Lucius bore it all and hugged him tighter. Harry's kicks grew less and less until all the brunet did was cry into Lucius' robes. "God, she's dead... why... why... Luc, our baby..."

Lucius could not help but weep as well; he pulled the distraught brunet into his lap and rubbed circles on Harry's back. "Sshh... It's okay, love... hush, it's alright." With Lucius' soothing words, the tornado died, leaving behind the clatter of items as they dropped to the floor.

***FLASHBACK ENDS***

Lucius sighed at the memory and squeezed Harry's hand; the brunet was pale and occasionally twitched in his sleep but other than that, he was healthy.

"I wish you knew how sorry I was." He said to the sleeping youth. "I wish I could go back in time and just stop this all from ever happening... You deserve none of this." He took a deep breath to reign in his emotions. "Our baby would have been the most beautiful maiden in the Wizarding World... I mean, with my charm and your bravery, she can do no wrong." Lucius chuckled weakly at that. "We'd have to Kedavra all the boys who go after her because a stick just won't do." He laughed a bit louder at that.

Harry frowned in his sleep and moaned. "Lily." He whimpered as a tear escaped his eye.

The blonde wiped away the tear. "Sshh... I know... it's alright." He cooed and Harry fell silent once again. Lucius looked down at his love sadly and then stroked his cheek. "I meant to give you this that day..." Lucius pulled out a platinum ring with a small emerald in the middle. "That's why I was home so early... I had even planned a romantic evening for us... so imagine my surprise when I came home to..." he trailed off and took another calming breath. "I know this will not erase the things I said but Harry... Marry me." He slipped the ring unto Harry's ring finger and kissed the brunet's forehead. "I still love you and I want you to be mine forever."

Unbeknownst to him, Draco stood wide-eyed on the other side of the door; the door had been left open slightly, so he had heard everything Lucius had said to Harry.

_So it's __**that**__ bad... I royally fucked everything._ Draco knew that if he had not kissed Harry that night, if Harry had shown Lucius the letter, if Lucius had proposed that September, they would have been wedded in December.

Beneath the joy of stopping his love from getting married, Draco could not help but feel guilty as well; he was the one that ruined everything... with that kiss, he shattered not only Harry's dreams but his father's as well.

Draco quietly left Grimmuald Place and apparated to his room in the manor before he started packing.

**000**

**December 2007**

Gaius shivered at the lifelessness Harry's eyes. "What kind of hell do you have to go through to look like that?" he asked no one in particular.

He and Edith were in a small room with only two chairs and one mattress (which Harry was occupying) on either side of the room- a beam of sunshine was the only source of light.

Edith gently brushed Harry's bangs away from his eyes- still no movement whatsoever from the brunet. "The mind is a fragile thing, Gaius." She said. "It has its limits... and Harry's has reached it."

Gaius hummed in acknowledgement but said nothing; all they had to do now was wait for Romulus to arrive with the potion.

"Can I start now?" He asked keenly and took off his robes.

Edith shook her head at his eagerness. "I'll be in the bath... you better be done by the time I come out." She called as she made her way into a small room.

Gaius turned Harry on his back and divested him of his blue pyjama shirt. "It's too bad you won't scream for me." He said. Gaius licked Harry's lips and slowly kissed his way down the neck to Harry's chest. "But it turns me on... your helplessness... God, all you do is blink." As if to prove his point, Harry blinked. "I wonder how it would feel taking someone so weak..." He moaned when his member twitched, fully hard now, and he licked Harry's nipples. "...someone who won't be able to fight me."

"It feels like this." A voice said. Gaius felt a hand go through his chest and squeeze his heart; he could not scream out in pain or even beg for mercy all he could do was wheeze in surprise.

Harry sat up, his hand still in the man's chest and smiled. "Hello Gaius." He said and his eyes bled red. "If I'm not mistaken, you kidnapped me to kill me, didn't you?" Gaius continued to stare at him. "Answer me." Harry hissed and squeezed the heart a bit more. Gaius nodded. "Good."

Harry placed a hand on Gaius' cheek and leaned in to whisper. "I'm going to kill you now... I'll pull out your still beating heart and show it to you... then I'll cut off your head... I'll then kill Edith the same way... and I'll use her hair to paint a message for whoever you're waiting for... then I'll dance... and dance... and dance in your spilt blood... I'll kick your dismembered head around as if it were trash..." He squeezed Gaius' heart a bit more and the man gasped. "This, Gaius, is how it feels like to be helpless..." With a sweet smile, Harry pulled out the heart and stood up while Gaius looked at the muscle that was still pumping, true to Harry's word.

Harry threw the heart to the corner and made his way to across the room; he transfigured one of the chairs into a machete and decapitated the man's head with Seeker reflexes. Gaius' body fell as the head rolled towards Harry and stopped at his feet; the brunet looked down at it in disgust and spat on it.

"Gaius?" Edith's voice echoed from the bathroom when she heard the thump of the fallen head. "That was fast... was he that good?" She said amused.

Harry narrowed his eyes and slowly made his way towards the bathroom; he knocked on the door and was greeted by a chuckle. "Ready for round two?" Edith said. Harry heard the tell-tale squeak of a faucet being turned and the woman came out with only a towel, her eyes widened when she saw Harry.

"Yes, I am." Harry said as he licked the machete. "I bet this one is going to be even better."

**000**

**Present Day**

Draco was almost done with his packing; he had bought an apartment in Spain so no one will know where he is. _It's better this way... then I won't mess with his dreams... he'll be happy-_

"Draco."

Draco did not turn around or pause his work. "Severus." He greeted. "Have you come to see me off?" he asked.

Severus leaned on the doorpost with a smirk. "Just what do you think you're doing, Draco?" He asked with an irritated look.

Draco shrugged. "Packing." He said immediately.

"Why?" Severus pressed.

"I'm leaving." Draco said.

"Why?" Severus asked again.

"Because I have to." Draco said; he looked back at his godfather. "Are you here to help me pack or play twenty questions?"

Severus got off the doorpost and stalked towards Draco. "I'm tired of this nonchalant behaviour of yours." He said edgily. "Now, answer the question: why are you leaving?"

Draco sighed and continued his packing. "Look, Sev... it's best if I left, okay... I heard about what happened at Grimmuald Place... his magic going wild with anger... to be honest, I don't want to stick around for his wra-"

Severus knocked over a vase in anger, cutting off Draco and making him turn to the potions master. "I'm sick and tired and sick of your whining!" He bellowed. "After everything... _everything_... now you're tucking your tail between your legs and running away... again!" Severus took a deep breath and continued. "I won't let you leave... I will not waste all that time trying to help you only for you to leave... you'll have to duel me to the death before-"

"He wanted to propose." Draco said firmly, cutting off Severus.

Severus' eyes widened and he paled. "What?" he asked softly.

"The day of the attack," Draco said. "Father wanted to propose to Harry... if I had not kissed Harry, they would have been married by now and have their daughter with them."

Severus blinked and sat down on the bed; he could not believe he had come so close to losing Lucius forever. The bang of a dropped box snapped him out of his stupor. "D-don't leave... not yet." He begged.

Draco, who had continued with his packing, shook his head. "I can't Severus... it's not fair."

"Please." Severus begged; that made Draco to stop his actions- Severus never begs. "Let me try to see where I stand with Lucius at least."

Draco sighed. "Even if you and father end up together, what are the chances that Harry would come to me... he'll hate me."

"But the kiss... you saved him!" Severus protested.

Draco stayed silent for a moment and frowned in thought. "It doesn't matter." He said in a defeated tone.

"But you love him, right?" Severus asked.

Draco sighed again and turned to his godfather. "Sev, I-"

"DO YOU LOVE HIM?" Severus bellowed.

Draco started a bit at the shouted question but replied lowly. "Yes."

Severus nodded and started for the door. "That's more than enough."

"But he doesn't love me!" Draco called loudly.

"Love doesn't just _die_, Draco." Severus yelled back. "You should know!"

Draco shook his head at his godfather's naiveté. _It did for you!_ He wanted to highlight that point to him but Severus seemed so determined that he let him go; as Harry had told him once, ignorance is bliss.

**000**

**December 2007**

It has been almost twelve hours since Harry was kidnapped.

This was the last exclusive hideout Lucius remembered from back during the war; he, Sirius, Severus and Draco stood in the small room with a dull beam of evening sunshine as their only source of light.

"What is this place?" Sirius asked, looking around the room in the disgust- it was worst than Grimmuald Place and that's saying something.

"It used to be a Death Eater hideout... only those in Voldemort's inner circle knew about this place." Lucius replied. "I never thought it was still in use." They all drew their wands when they heard laughter. "Evidently, I was wrong."

They quietly crept towards the direction of the sound and when they reached the source, they stopped; the walls and floor were ensanguined with blood and Draco gasped at the sight of Edith's head. On the wall across them were words written in blood.

_FUCK OFF!_

At that very moment, they all thought: what kind of monster would do this?

Then they saw Harry; the brunet twirled around in a pool of blood as he hummed to himself. His pyjama bottoms, shirtless torso, arms and face had blood spatters on them; he picked up the naked body of Edith and twirled the corpse around as if she were dancing.

Draco felt sick. "Harry?" He called in a shaky voice.

The brunet stopped humming and turned to the new comers. "Oh hello!" He greeted cheerily and flung the body to the corner with such strength, the others gasped. "You must be my rescue party." He said smugly.

Severus scrutinised Harry; he could feel a foreign aura in the air but it was mingled Harry's magic. _Something is not right._ "You're not Potter." He said askance.

Harry looked at Severus for a long moment before he broke into a laughing fit. "Nope, I'm Harry." He said finally. "You just don't know _this_ Harry."

"Harry?" Sirius called and the brunet snapped his crimson gaze to him. "Are you hurt?"

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Why do _you_ care?" He hissed. "I'm nothing but a slut, remember... so why should you give a fuck, you good for nothing arse."

"Potter." Severus protested.

"Shut up!" Harry hissed at Severus. "I'm not your student anymore so don't pretend you care." Harry walked purposefully slow towards them. "I can see it... I can see you hate being here... you don't want to be here." He said matter-of-factly.

Severus smirked albeit his shivers. "And your behaviour has reinforced my unwillingness."

Harry stopped his approach and turned to look at Lucius. "You... you called me a slut as well." He said and cocked his head. "Why?" His voice sounded innocent.

Lucius blinked and shuddered at the red eyes. "I didn't mean to-"

"No, I'm not saying that you're wrong." Harry said with a chuckle. "I'm just asking how you knew." The others frowned. "Gaius almost had his way with me... those men in the alley... they called me a slut... Sirius as well." Harry frowned and looked at them questionably. "I must be one... I mean, everyone seems to know this except me."

Lucius shook his head and took a step towards Harry. "Harry, you're not-"

"SHUT UP!" Harry bellowed and the chair across the room exploded. "Don't try to deny that nothing is wrong with me... I'm a slut... a whore..." He pulled on his hair and gave a loud maniacal laugh. The others kept quiet, hoping that their Harry would return soon.

"Harry." Draco called and the laughter stopped immediately. "Let's go home... please." He begged.

Harry blinked at Draco and the red in his eyes faded from deep red to the familiar deep green speckled with red. "Draco." He whispered as if he had just noticed him and then he swayed a bit.

Draco and the others moved a bit to catch him but thought otherwise and stayed put. "Yes... please, let us take you home." Draco said gently with a nod.

The brunet stayed quiet for a long time and then smug look returned as Harry shrugged and looked around. "I guess... I'm tired of playing with them anyways." With those words, he disapparated with the others not far behind.

**000**

"Edith." Romulus called as he apparated into the safe house with the potion safely under his robes. He frowned when he heard no answer. "Edith!" he called louder, still nothing.

He made his way deeper into the room and panicked at a tiny spatter of blood by the bathroom; he ran to where he was sure they would keep Harry and was greeted by the sight of two mangled bodies without heads.

Romulus gasped in surprise and instinctively stepped back, only to trip on something... his sister's head; Edith's eyes and mouth were open, forever frozen in shock.

With a shaky hand, Romulus reached out and touched the head. "Edith." He whispered and lifted the head slowly; he closed her eyes and stroked her hair- it was damp with blood, that's when he saw the note on the wall.

"Oh, God... Edith I'm sorry..." He sobbed into his sister's hair, not caring if he got blood on his face. "I'll get him... I promise... I'll kill him if it's the last thing I do." He placed a kiss on the head and disapparated with it... just before Aurors appeared at the scene.

_**A/N:**__ I guess Harry was not really dark... just a bit crazy (*shrugs* oh well)... the ring Lucius had was mentioned in chapter 16 as well if you're a bit confused... should Draco give up?... will Severus finally tell Lucius about his feelings... what about Harry?... that and more in future chapters... review!_


	21. Chapter 22

_Yo!... once again I grace you all with my presence... LOL... I have so many things to do for school... I have two assignments due this week so, you may have to wait a while before the next chapter... it's sad, I know... the story is almost finished (Boo/ Yay!) but I have like three different endings in my head... so the question is should I post all three endings or just one to satisfy you... anyway, on to the story!_

_I would like to thank __**dan8**__**, **__**Annabeth Volturi, Ana and **__**starlight-wish**__ for their reviews... keep it up._

**Warning:** this chapter contains mistletoes, Remus, towels, pink and Draco's sketchbook makes a cameo appearance.

CHAPTER 21: EVERMORE SLUMBER

**Harry's POV**

I was floating contentedly in nothingness; He said he would take care of everything... all I had to do was stay put. And I planned to...

"Harry."

... that is, until I heard that.

I blinked and I found myself in a small room; the floors and walls were covered with blood, even a spatter could be seen on the ceiling if you squinted a bit. In front of me was Sirius, Lucius, Draco and, surprisingly, Severus.

"Draco." I said when I recognised the voice.

_**Harry, you're too weak to function your body on your own.**_ My conscience warned as I felt myself sway.

_Did you do all this?_ I asked incredulously.

_**They wanted to hurt us... they had it coming.**_

I said nothing; I really do not pity them however, I feel a bit sick that my hands were the ones responsible for their death.

_**Don't feel guilty... it was self-defence...do you want to talk to them?**_

_No._ I said as my eyes focused on the men in front of me. _I just want to look at them one last time..._ _I don't think I'll have the heart to talk to them; I can see that they are afraid of me_. My hands feel heavy with spilt blood- I must look ghastly to them.

_**You still want to die.**_ It was not said as a question.

_Yes._ I replied.

"I guess... I'm tired of playing with them anyways." I heard my mouth say to the others and then my world faded with disapparation.

The world came back into focus._ Where are we? _I questioned when I saw leaves and strange flowers.

_**Lucius' greenhouse.**_ I felt my legs move by their own accord towards a familiar looking plant.

_Why are we in Lucius' greenhouse?_ I asked, confused.

_**For this.**_ My hand plucked a few leaves and held it up. _**Mistletoe. **_The world faded again and now I was standing in front of the kitchen at Grimmuald Place.

"Harry, thank good-" Hermione gasped before she could finish obviously disturbed with my appearance. "Oh God, Harry!" she cried distressed.

I did not listened to what she said afterwards, I just took her in; I will miss her dishevelled hair and motherliness, sure, she is bossy and nosy but she has a good heart.

Hermione's face suddenly distorted in worry- I (or in this case, my mouth) must have said something troubling to her. I could see Neville and Luna a few metres behind her: they looked terrified.

Ron then said something to me but I did not hear it; Ron, my best friend, he was a bit of a prat to my back at Hogwarts but he always pulled through for me when I needed him... he was... _is_ brother in many ways.

"Would you excuse me?" My mouth said to them, cutting off Ron. "I need to go to my room and clean up." My feet took me away from there and ran up the stairs.

_What's the mistletoe for?_ I asked.

My hands opened my room door and my feet made its way to the bathroom to wash away the blood on my hands. I saw a glimpse of myself in the mirror... I almost gasped at my blood-spattered face but my hands took care of it with a wet towel.

_**A potion. **_My conscious said. _**One that we read about in the book Hermione gave you for Christmas last year.**_

My mind swarmed itself with information as I tried to remember which potion needed mistletoe._ What is it? _I asked when my mind turned up blank.

I felt my shoulders move in a shrug. _**I've forgotten the name but I remember the ingredients; all we need are poppy and sweetpea seeds, a calming potion and a dreamless sleeping potion... most of the ingredients we need are in those potions. **_He explained.

My feet walked towards the cupboard in the room and my hands rummaged through vials and sachets before progressively spotting all the needed ingredients. _**Now we need to crush the mistletoe and seeds.**_ My hands pulled out a small mortar and crushed the leaves and seeds under the pestle. _**And mixed it all up.**_ The mortar was transfigured into a cup and the two vials were emptied into it.

_What exactly does the potion do?_

_**It poisons I think... it's a bit slow but very effective.**_ The reply came immediately as my hands mixed the concoction.

I frowned. _If I didn't know any better, I'd say you __**wanted**__ me to die... I thought you were the voice of reason... where is the speech about moving on with my life and self-preservation and all that?_

_**I promised you that I would not stand in your way if you still decide to kill yourself... once I go back in, you'll be too weak to make the potion because of your low nutrition levels... in other words, I'm doing you a favour.**_I stayed quiet and in the cup, was now a baby pink fluid. _**It's ready but I want you to be double sure that you want to do this... you'll be missed by a lot of people, you know... most especially Draco and Lucius... you can keep the potion and rethink this.**_

_I know. _I replied lowly._ Nevertheless... the sooner the better._

My conscience stayed silent for a moment._**Okay.**_It said and then tipped the potion into my mouth.

**000**

Everyone stayed silent as they watched Harry ascend the steps, when a bang signified that he was in his room, Ron cussed.

Hermione shook her head. "He finally snapped." She said sadly.

"Did... did you see all that blood?" Neville asked, shaky and Luna patted his back to soothe him.

"We found Edith and Gaius decapitated and Potter... dancing. I presume he did them in." Severus said. "It seems that Potter got a bit, for lack of better phrase, fed up of the situation." He said matter-of-factly.

"But that is not _our_ Harry." Hermione protested. "Harry wouldn't hurt anyone... not like that."

"I managed to find some Muggle books on psychology." Severus said. "It's a defence mechanism; Potter was, as I said, fed up and his body decided to deal with the situation. _That _Potter that just spoke so vulgarly to Mrs. Wesley here was another part of him... buried deep down within him- within all of us- until he was needed..."

"Until our Harry couldn't take it anymore." Hermione added. "The mind is protecting itself by taking on another persona, one that will suit the situation."

Severus nodded. "Yes." He said. "Until the Potter we know feels safe, he will stay away while his other self roams free." He then frowned. "But what may be worse; if 'our' Potter comes back, he may resume his depression and then we'll be back to square one."

"Do you think it would be possible to talk to our Harry through _that_ Harry?" Ron asked as he pointed up the stairs.

Severus thought for a moment. "I can't answer that but I don't see why not."

"I'll talk to him." Ron said quickly.

"No offence, Honey." Hermione said. "But I don't think you're the person to convince him... maybe Neville."

Neville shook his head. "I can't... not with all that blood." He said with dismay. "I'm sorry 'Mione but to be honest, that Harry scares me."

"I'll talk to him." Lucius and Draco said simultaneously.

Everyone in the room frowned. "I'd prefer if you did not." Sirius said stiffly.

"He is too hostile to reason with you, Lucius." Severus said. "He may see you and Draco as contributing causes to Harry's current plight. In other words, he may not think twice about castrating you."

Luna sighed. "Well, I know I'm not fit for the job, neither is Hermione, Sirius or Severus." She listed.

"What!" Hermione cried. "I'm fit for the job."

"Hermione, you're a very smart witch." Luna said matter-of-factly. "It might intimidate him a bit and by his reply to your fussing, I don't think he likes you that much... Severus will probably just annoy him- no offence." She gave the potions master an apologetic look. "Which leaves Remus; he's practically Harry's dad." Sirius winced at that.

All eyes settled on the werewolf, who was still digesting the new information and as well as trying to erase Harry's macabre look from his head. "I don't know." He said lowly.

"Please, Remus." Lucius pleaded. "It's the only way to get Harry back... he trusts you, sometimes much more than others... at least try."

Remus remained silent for a moment before he whispered, "Okay," and quickly jogged up the stairs.

Remus came into Harry's room just in time to see the Harry doppelganger knock back a cup of something. "Harry?" he said with a frown. "What was that?"

The brunet gave an alien smile. "A little something to help me... _cope_."

Remus suddenly felt his hackles rising in warning; he was about to call for Severus but the Harry lookalike put him in a body bind and placed a silencing charm on the door and the floor so that the other will not hear the thump of his body as it fell.

"He couldn't bear it anymore." Harry said. "He's too ashamed to live with the guilt... he wants to die... so I helped him."

"What was it"? Remus asked as he squirmed in the invisible bind. "What potion was it?"

Harry shrugged and said, "Don't remember the name." He walked towards the window and patted the cushions. "This is where he sat... regretting, wishing, hoping... I talked to him... tried to make him see reason but he is... stubborn." He chuckled a bit and looked out the window. "Then after talking with Lucius, he did not see the need to live anymore... he came to me for peace and I gave It to him... then those fucking Death Eaters had to come and screw things up some more... so, I rescued him..."

"But you're not rescuing him _now_." Remus snarled. "You took poison didn't you...? You're killing him!"

Harry sighed. "I did not want this, Remus." He said with a tired voice. "But who am I to stop him from choosing how he wants to live and... and end his life."

"Who _are_ you?" Remus asked.

"To Harry... his conscience."

"You're not really acting like one."

Harry sighed again. "I know." The cup he was holding fell from his grasp as he swayed a little. "It's faster than I thought." he said sluggishly.

"Harry... Harry can you hear me... Harry please."Remus pleaded. "Let us help you... you're safe and sound... we won't let anyone hurt you again."

Harry remained quiet and his eyes glazed over as if he was thinking, he then blinked and looked at Remus. "Harry wants to talk to you..." he then closed his eyes and almost fell to the ground but he grabbed the windowsill for balance.

"Harry!" Remus yelled and tried to free himself from the binds again.

"Remus." Harry said softly; He looked up and smiled at the bounded werewolf. "Sorry about that, he tends to be a bit protective."

Remus sighed at the familiar warm smile- that was his Harry. "Harry... release me, I'll go get Severus for the antidote and then we'll sort all this out." He pleaded desperately.

Harry shook his head; he tried to stand but his weak state had him falling back against the wall. "No, Remus." He slowly made his way to the werewolf, leaning heavily against the wall to avoid falling. "It's better I leave."

"No, no Harry please... you're better than this."

"No I'm not." Harry said lowly; he stood beside Remus. "I'm a slut... they all said so... I'm not good for anything else... I'm just a worthless slut people can have their way with and dump..." He repeated Sirius' words.

"Sirius was wrong." Remus said. "What Lucius did was wrong... what Draco did was wrong... what those men and Edith and Gaius did to you was-"

"Wrong." Harry finished for him. "But that doesn't mean that I don't deserve it."

"You didn't deserve any of that!" Remus bellowed. "No one deserved any of-" Harry pitched forward and fell on the floor. "HARRY!"

"Remus." Harry said. "Tell Sirius I forgive him... I don't want him to feel guilty... take care of him... and Lucius... he's going to feel horrible." The brunet's words were slurred and his eyes were blinking furiously, as if he was trying to battle sleep. "I know Hermione will blame herself for bringing in Gaius and Edith but tell her... tell her she meant well." He rested his head on the floor and closed his eyes.

"Harry!" Remus screamed frantically and Harry opened his eyes. "Hold on, Harry... don't fall asleep yet." Remus crawled (in a very caterpillar-esque way) towards the door and tried to get to the knob. "Bugger! Somebody!"

Harry smiled again at Remus. "Remus... tell Mrs. Weasley that she was like a mom to me... that I appreciate everything she did... Ron is going to throw a fit and try to kill the Malfoys... he was the closest thing I had to a brother... he's my best friend..."

Remus was frantic now; his godson was dying right in front of him and he could do nothing about it. He silently hoped that someone would check up on them soon as his bound legs rammed his exposed feet into the door, trying to get some attention. "Harry, don't give up on me!"

Harry continued as if he did not hear Remus. "Tell Draco that he is not to blame either... tell him that I... I-" he paused and frowned a bit; he shook his head a bit and then tried to get Remus' attention. "Remus... Remus..." The werewolf looked at Harry with panicked eyes and Harry smiled. "It's not your fault for not saving me... you did your best."

"Harry." Remus said with a small sob. "No, Harry."

Harry as he yawned. "It's better this way." He placed his head on the floor gently

"Harry... Harry? Harry!" Remus yelled.

"_Alohomora!_" Someone yelled from outside and Hermione strolled in quickly. The first person she saw was Remus by the door. "Remus!" she cried and unbound him, then her eyes widened when they settled on Harry. "SEVERUS!" she screamed as Remus ran to Harry's side.

Severus rushed in followed by Sirius and the others. "HARRY!" Lucius and Sirius cried and both were by the brunet's side.

Lucius turned Harry over on his back and placed his head on Sirius' bunched up robes beneath him. "Harry... please... oh, God... Harry... open your eyes for me... PLEASE!" He sobbed and Harry did open his eyes. "Harry... hold on, okay... Severus will fix you and then-"

Lucius stopped sputtering when Harry tried to raise his hand; Lucius help him and held the cool hand to his face and kissed it. "Luc." Harry whispered with a pained look. "I'm sorry." The eyes closed again and the hand fell slack.

"No." Sirius whispered.

"He- he took a p-potion." The werewolf stuttered and wept on Harry. "I c-couldn't stop him."

Luna and Draco stood by as Ron pulled Remus and Neville pulled Lucius away because Severus and Hermione could not check Harry properly.

"What potion did he take?" Hermione asked professionally.

Remus shook his head and sniffed a bit before he was able to speak. "He said he doesn't know the name of the potion... he drank it from that cup." He pointed to the forgotten cup by the window.

Draco quickly picked it up and sniffed it (being the best in Severus' potions class paid off) but when he did not recognise the potion, he handed the cup to Severus; the potions master looked at it before he sniffed it. "No." He exhaled in disbelief.

"What is it?" Draco asked. "Is it bad?" The others stayed silent as the potions master's shoulders sagged.

"It's Evermore." He said.

Draco's eyes widened and Neville- being a junior potions master at St. Mungos- gasped. "Oh, God." He breathed.

"What's that?" Hermione asked.

"It's an ancient potion." Severus said. "It puts the drinker to sleep for-_evermore_... that is, until they die of starvation."

"Can't we magik him some nourishment potions?" Luna asked the same time Ron said. "Isn't there an antidote?"

Severus shook his head and answered the questions respectively. "I may have been able to if the dose were smaller but Potter used _two_ whole vials... this sleep is enchanted and protected by ancient magic." He said. "There is no antidote recorded in the history of the Wizarding world... I'm afraid, Harry is as good as..." he trailed off.

"He can't be!" Ron bellowed. "There has to be something... anything at all!"

Severus stood up and sighed. "Weasley, from years of experience, you know that I don't sugar-coat, guess or prevaricate; I get straight to the point and the point here now is Potter may never wake up again." Neville flinched at Severus' brusqueness while the other stared at the potions master in shock- as if he had just slapped them.

The silence grew tense as they all took in the information.

The quiet was broken, however, when Draco turned and slowly walked out of the room, leaving behind the echo of lamentation and howling; he apparated to the manor and strolled to his study where he took off his jacket and folded the sleeves of his shirt.

After transfiguring his jacket into a bat, he proceeded to break everything in the study; he flung bottles of firewhiskey and tumblers, he turned over his desk and chairs with a shout, he smashed all the ornament in the room and tore every single scroll, not caring if it was important.

_Harry! Harry! Harry...! why him... this is all my fault... God, why... my Harry..._

His rampage ended, though, when he had grabbed his green sketchbook and was about to fling it across the room but he held it to his chest and cried for his loss, for his love. Draco sunk to his knees and cried and cried, not caring if it was not 'Malfoy' to do that; he was not a Malfoy right now, at the moment he was an ordinary man who has lost far too much to bear it anymore.

Draco felt warm arms encircle him and he leaned into the embrace when he recognised the cologne; he allowed his godfather to hold him as he did when he was younger and soiled the potions master's robes with his tears.

_**A/N:**__ *sniff* why!... why do I have to be so mean... to be honest, this chapter was part of last chapter but I decided to spilt them... refer to chapter 2 for Neville's potion master'edness, chapter 10 to recap Sirius' words to Harry and to chapter 12 for the sketchbook...____more stuff next chapter; Severus and Lucius have a heart-to-heart (finally- I'm sure you guys are just biting your nails in anticipation... well, at least I hope you are), Draco plays Prince, apples and needles are mentioned, 'nuff said... pray that my assignments don't do me in... it's seriously biting me in the ass... see you in a week or two or three... so should I post all three endings or just one? Please give me your opinion and review!_


	22. Chapter 23

_Damn... okay, I had assignments by the bucket load... I just used my breaks to write little by little until I finished this chapter... I had to take it slowly because I did not want to give you some rushed crap to read... I really don't want to start ranting about my week... trust me, we'd be here for a while... so far I've had only about two people saying that they want all three endings... as much as I appreciate the beautiful reviews I get, I'm pretty sure there are more than six people reading this story... tell me what you want people... I'm here to entertain... enjoy!_

_I would like to thank __**dan8**__**, **__**HP 4EVA, Annabeth Volturi, **__**lil night raven**__**, aliengirlguy and **__**MarquasNoir97**____(thank you very, very much) for their reviews... you guys encourage me._

**Warning:** this chapter contains fairytales, the Dying Love flower, Severus and Lucius talk (I have a feeling you're saying "finally"), a lot on the topic of kissing, serious Severus OOCness and Draco.

CHAPTER 22: FAIRYTALES

**February 2008**

Severus Snape was tired. It's been roughly a month and a half that Harry drank the Evermore potion and since then everyone and everything has been bleak. Even Severus was starting to miss him... and he hated it.

Harry's magic was the only thing keeping him alive; as soon as it burns it out, so does Harry.

Severus had read everything he knew about the potion, even the book Hermione gave Harry for Christmas, and they all said the same thing:

_Evermore_

_Evermore, formerly known as the Assay Sleep was invented sometime in the early 16__th__ or 17__th__ century. It is unknown who the original inventor was or where it originates from, however, the elixir had been attempted to be improved numerous times._

_The first attempt was in the late 17__th__ century by a witch in Germany; however, the potion only lasted for two weeks._

_The second attempt was in the early 19__th__ century by a Lady in France; the potion lasted longer, a hundred years to be precise but once again, the potion wore off (with the aid of numerous stasis charms and nourishment potions, the test subject survived)._

_*Both events were turned into muggle folktales by German wizards, Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm._

_The third attempt was in the late 20__th__ century by an American potions master Jacob Phineas Evermore who revised and rewrote the recipe, leaving behind a much longer lasting and deadlier concoction._

_Till this day, no known antidote has been recorded for Jacob Evermore's version as the ingredients he added has no counterpart._

Severus snapped the book closed with a frustrated growl; every time it was a dead end. He rubbed the bridge of his nose in defeat, closing his eyes, and placed the book on his desk.

_It's useless, these hours of research... I already said there's no hope... why am I still researching this... _

He then remembered Lucius; the look on the blonde's face shattered his heart every time, igniting his desire to make him smile again. Severus shook his head and reclined on his chair. _I shouldn't be entertaining his hope... there's nothing I can do... it's not like this some fairytale where everyth-_

His eyes snapped open and he jumped off his chair. _Could it be?_ Severus reached for Hermione's book and his examination list from when he was trying to determine the ingredients of the potion. He read and re-read both of them... that is when he noticed it; Cypress petals had been removed from Harry's concoction, as it was in Jacob Evermore's version, and in its place was...

"Mistletoe." The potions master whispered. "He wouldn't be so careless."

A thought then occurred to him; he frowned for a millisecond at the ridiculousness of it but then brushed it off and headed for Draco's former nursery.

**000**

**Present Day (August 2008)**

Severus Snape was nervous; he slowly walked towards Lucius' music room, where a soft melody started to play lowly. He patted his pocket, the Dying Love flower was still there.

_I only have one chance... if I fail, I lose him forever..._

Severus quietly opened the door and tiptoed inside; Lucius was at his piano again playing what Severus recognised as a score they both wrote together while they were sill at Hogwarts. When he heard his part approaching, Severus quickly picked up his violin from its place at the door and joined Lucius.

Lucius, understandably, faltered in his playing, shocked but continued when he recognised the player. They continued like this, silently appreciating what was their moment; they rarely had times like this since they graduated.

Lucius played the final keys and looked up to Severus with a smile. "Severus." He said. "You still remember your part."

Severus' heart pounded at the blonde's smile; he knew if he smiled back, he'll start giggling like a school girl, so he settled for a shrug. "Practice makes perfect." He said tight-lipped and placed his violin back in its case, schooling his features.

Lucius stood and straightened his shirt. "You don't know how eternally grateful I am to you for helping Harry."

Severus froze, trying to reign in his ire; he silently wished that Lucius would cease talking about whom he had forfeited him to. "I know you're grateful, Lucius." He said walking back towards the piano. "I, however, would be eternally grateful if you'd stop talking about Potter."

Lucius chuckled. "I still don't know what you have against him."

Severus smirked for a moment and then turned serious. "I want to talk to you... actually, I want you to do something for me."

"Oh?" Lucius raised a curious brow. "What is it? Is it about that Romulus fellow?"

"No, he's still in Azkaban." Severus said with a shake of his head. "You must first promise to do it."

Lucius frowned at that; years of being at Voldemort's side has taught him not to make unknown promises but this was Severus, his brother, his comrade. The blonde quelled his suspicions and smiled again. "Of course, Sev. It's the least I can do after everything you did for us."

Severus' jaw tightened at 'us'; he removed the shrunken plant from his pocket and returned it to its normal size.

Lucius' eyes widened in shock and then narrowed in a glare. "Where did you get that?" He asked.

"Your greenhouse." Severus said simply. "Now touch it."

Lucius shook his head; he had an odd feeling of déjà vu, old feelings were resurfacing at a rapid pace... he was afraid. "No Severus." He said. "Harry-"

"Forget Harry." Severus all but shouted. "Just do this for me, Luc... please."

Lucius started at his nickname; Severus had not called him 'Luc' for over two decades now. "Do you know what the flower signifies, Severus?" He asked lowly. "I will not betray Harry like that."

Severus had had it. "You mean like the way he betrayed you?" Lucius' glare intensified. "Don't fool yourself, Lucius... the boy does not love you... if he adored you like you claimed he did, you'd be married by now."

Lucius shook with anger, clenching and unclenching his fists. "We are not having his conversation." He started to stalk away but a calloused hand grabbed his wrist and tugged hard.

Soon both men's hand were on the flower and its petals turned white, it got paler and paler until the flower practically glowed. Lucius and Severus' eyes widened at the hue; they stared at the blossom until the flower quickly darkened and wilted, dead.

Slowly both men looked up at each other, still in shock. They stared until somehow, they had their lips against each other and they were kissing their breath away... as if the death of the flower broke a spell that kept them apart.

Lucius almost whimpered when those reawakened feelings hit like a ton of bricks; he pulled Severus against him and deepened the kiss. Severus was the happiest man alive; he pushed Lucius against the piano and started to unbutton the blonde's shirt- he had waited long for this.

Lucius groaned when his back hit the piano hard; with a growl, he pushed back until Severus was trapped between a shelf and him. He grabbed the potions masters by his hair and deepened the kiss _even more_.

Severus continued to unbutton what seemed like a hundred buttons; he finally gave up and tore off the blonde's shirt. He pulled back and peppered kisses down the neck, on that firm chest, getting lower and lower.

"Severus." Lucius was breathing hard from all that kissing: he could not believe he had wasted all those years- _Wasted?_ He remembered Harry, his love- it was hard saying that word now- was sick in bed and here he was with... Severus, the love of his life or as the flower stated, his soul mate.

Lucius gripped Severus' arms, pulling him up, attempting to push him away but Severus kissed him again and Lucius groaned, succumbing to that addictive kiss and forgetting Harry once more.

Severus groaned as well and thrust against Lucius, causing his newfound erection to harden even more. Lucius growled and thrust against him too and soon, both were rocking against each other.

Severus dug his nails into Lucius' back and Lucius held Severus tightly before they both screamed out their orgasm.

**000**

**Back in the Past...**

Draco laid alone on his couch in his still ruined study; he was too upset to drink, to sad to think straight and too emotional to hold a civil conversation. Harry was going to die any day now; he, Severus, his father, heck everyone researched looking for a cure but nothing... it was always nothing.

The fireplace roared and Severus appeared in a burst of green flames. "Draco." He paused and stared around. "Your study is a pigsty."

Draco glared at the potions master. "What do you want, Snape." He snapped.

Severus smirked, he pulled out a pile of shrunken books from his robes and dropped them on Draco's desk, billowing a cloud of dust. "Merlin, Draco when was the last time you cleaned this place?"

Draco shrugged. "Doesn't matter... what do you want?"

Severus took a deep breath. "I will ignore your poor etiquette and relate to the current events taking place." He said lowly. "However, Draco I will hex you if you don't get your arse up this instant."

Draco glared at Severus but obeyed and sat up. "This better be bloody important." He grumbled.

Severus sighed and shook his head before he picked up one of the books. "What do the stories Snow White and Sleeping Beauty have in common?" He asked.

Draco frowned. "You came all the way here to ask me that?"

"Answer the question, Draco." Severus growled.

Draco blinked and then frowned in thought before shrugging. "I don't know; they were both written by the Grimm brothers, the main characters were both princesses, they were both cursed-"

"Exactly!" Severus exclaimed.

"Severus, I don't get what you want with my old story book but-"

"It's not the story book, Draco." Severus interrupted. "It's what's _in_ the story book!" Draco's frown deepened and Severus sighed. "Read this." The potions master opened to a page and handed the book to Draco.

Draco took the book and looked at it, confused. "Sleeping Beauty?" He questioned askance.

"Yes, now read." Severus prompted impatiently. "Just that first sentence."

Draco threw a confused look Severus' way but read aloud. "He stands- he stoops to gaze- he kneels- he wakes her with a kiss."

"That's it." Severus said amazed. "Remus said he didn't want to do it... so he found a loophole... how Slytherin."

"What's it?" Draco asked. "Severus, what are you talking about?"

Severus gave a frustrated groan. "Try not to be thick, Draco it doesn't suit you." He drawled. "I'm talking about the antidote... that's the antidote."

Draco's brows rose. "You mean the kiss?"

"Yes." Severus rolled his eyes and groaned again. "Do try to keep up, Draco." He took the book from the blonde.

Draco stood and scratched his head in a very un-Malfoy manner. "So you're saying that a kiss is the cure to one of the most ancient potions the Wizarding world has ever known." He did not say it as a question.

"You're quite slow today." Severus stated.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Draco asked irritated.

"I do not joke, Draco." The potions master said matter-of-factly.

Draco narrowed his eyes in a glare. "You're saying that you got the antidote to Evermore potion- _Evermore potion_- from a book of muggle fairy tales, how is that not a joke?"

Severus sat down and explained. "The Grimm brothers recorded the events and the antidote but no one took them seriously- they were just as sceptical as you are- so the brothers turned it into a muggle story; in Snow White, an apple was dipped in Evermore and given to the princess to eat while in Sleeping Beauty, the spindle the princess touched was tipped with Evermore.

"The potion did not last long because in those two stories a prince will come along and snog them, breaking the curse.

"Jacob Evermore realised that in both potions, as well as the original potion, there was Mistletoe; with Mistletoe in a potion, you can disrupt its effects with a kiss, but not just any kiss... true love's kiss.

Severus paused. "Remus told me that Potter's alter ego did not want to take the potion but with Harry being his boss, he had no choice. However, he tricked Harry into thinking the potion was incurable and swapped Cypress for Mistletoe, hoping I'll discover it."

Draco blinked. "So true love's kiss will heal Harry." Severus nodded. "How the hell are we going to find Harry's true love?" At Severus' look, he shook his head. "No, I vowed that I would stay away since the attack... I caused that... I will not be a burden to Harry anymore."

"Don't be an idiotic Gryffindor, Draco!" Severus snapped, standing up. "We need you to try and get Potter back-"

"Harry doesn't want me." Draco said in a small voice.

"Yes he does... he's just too thick to realise it."

Draco shook his head, confused. _Since when does he care about Harry's love life?_ "Why are you telling me this?" He asked. "Father and Harry were in a relationship; he is most likely Harry's true love. Why aren't you telling father?"

"Because," Severus barked. "I don't want him to be." He finished lowly.

With the look on his godfather's face, Draco did not need to ask any questions; he understood everything clearly now. "You love father." He stated, not asked, stated.

Severus was about to protest but stopped; his cold facade slipped and he allowed his godson to see his ignominy. "Yes." The potions master admitted, his body slumping. "I love Lucius Malfoy... I have loved him since the day he turned Potter into a goose for me... just for me... when he told me he was to be wed to Narcissa, I... I accepted it- the fact that your father did not see me that way... and I dealt with it... I don't want the same to happen to you, Dragon... I don't want you to end up like me... I feel so lost and lonely... the longer you wait, the harder it becomes... do you love him, Draco- _really_ love him?" Draco nodded. "Then go before its too late... fight for him, never give him up to _anyone_."

**000**

**Present Day (Lucius' music room)**

Lucius and Severus were staring at each other, breathing hard with their hair dishevelled and their lips swollen.

"Severus." Lucius finally said, pulling away from the potions master; all that time thinking Severus would never love him, moving on and marrying Narcissa and then courting Harry. "Since when?" he asked.

"Hogwarts." Severus said breathlessly. "I fell in love with you when you helped me with Potter."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lucius prompted.

"How could I?" Severus said lowly, looking down. "All those girls you courted and then Narcissa..." He trailed off and looked back up. "Since when?"

"The first day I laid my eyes on you I was smittened." Lucius admitted. "But then the way you fawned over that Evans girl... I thought..." He trailed off as well.

Silence.

"That flower," Lucius pointed to the dead plant on the piano and continued. "I initially got it for you." Severus' eyes widened. "I was going to ask you to run away with me if you returned my feelings... but then I met Narcissa and... I'm ashamed to admit my love for you faltered a bit... then Voldemort came along and there was no time for love or feelings or doubt... after the war, I still did not think you'd love me... I was hoping you'll tell me not to marry Narcissa that day in the astronomy tower... if you did, I wouldn't have... I would have told you my feelings and left the rest to the gods..."

Severus blinked. "I wanted to tell you." The potions master said. "I wanted to give you space after Narcissa's death... it took a lot from me but I finally had the courage to tell you about my feelings... I planned to tell you during the New Years Eve party at Grimmuald place but then-"

"You saw me and Harry." Lucius completed.

Severus nodded. "I was devastated... and jealous... they way you kissed each other... with so much fire... I thought I'd never be good enough... so I backed away... it was my fault for being so cowardly." He ducked his head again as shame coursed through him.

Lucius shook his head and stepped back to Severus, he placed a hand under the man's chin and raised his head to meet his eyes. "No, Sev... you're the bravest man I've ever met... you risked a lot during the war... the Wizarding world and I owe you a debt of gratitude." He placed a small kiss on the man's lips.

"I love you." Severus whispered.

Lucius started; the last person that told him those words was Harry. "Severus... I love you too but... I can't leave Harry like that."

The light in Severus' eyes died. "But... the flower... we belong together."

Lucius sighed and pulled away again. "That may be so but... I put Harry through hell... it's my responsibility to help him... if he decides that he doesn't love me-"

"Then you'll come back to me." Severus completed dryly. "Once again I am second best."

"Severus, it's not like that-"

"It's always been like that; it's always Potter... always Harry." Severus said bitterly. "I bore it for two years... now is the time to choose: if you choose Harry, I'll walk out that door and you'll never see me again."

Lucius shook his head. "Sev please... I can't do this to him."

Severus nodded and walked towards Lucius. "I understand... it's the code of a Malfoy to take responsibility and face consequences." He stroked Lucius' cheek and started for the door. "I forgive you...Take care, Luc."

"Severus..."

"You don't need me anymore... Potter will be awake soon, so you better get your strength up." Severus quickly left the room, made his way down the stairs and ran to the fireplace for his home.

Ignoring the burning tears that streamed down his face, Severus raced for his room and flopped down on his bed before sobs racked his body; he had not cried this hard since the day Lucius told him he was getting married to Narcissa.

From under his pillow, Severus pulled out a photograph; it was during his and Lucius' last year at Hogwarts, there was a Yule Ball and Lucius had almost finished getting ready when Bartholomew Baldwin took the blonde's picture. The Malfoy was elegant in his white shirt and grey waistcoat, which was tied together with black dressing robes. His hair was not bound yet so it flowed down his back like a waterfall of spun silver; the picture Lucius scowled at the photographer and pulled on his white gloves as a show of his irritation before repeating his actions.

Severus stared at the picture for a long time before he tucked it back under the pillow.

**000**

**Back in the Past... (Grimmuald Place)**

Draco steadily made his way up the stairs to Harry's room; he was nervous but determined help Harry, however, there was a question of his father not allowing him. Lucius had stayed by Harry's side since the suicide attempt; the only time he rested was when he would accidental fall asleep watching over his love.

The younger Malfoy found his father, as usual, at Harry's side, holding the younger man's hand. Harry was deathly pale, his cheeks were sunken, there was barely any movement other than the slow rise and fall of his chest- that was the only indication that he was alive.

Sirius sat on Harry's other side with Remus fast asleep on his shoulder; the man looked up when Draco entered the room and nodded in greeting.

Draco nodded back. "Father." He said.

Lucius looked up, Draco was used to those tired, bloodshot eyes now. "Dragon." He said lowly. "I trust you rested well."

"I see you didn't." Draco replied.

Lucius' eyes suddenly looked watery. "I can't leave him." He squeezed Harry's hand with such gentleness one might think he did not want to break the brunet.

Draco said nothing; his eyes were fixed on Harry... and how fragile he looked. "Father, Severus found a cure."

Lucius' eyes widened and Sirius jumped to his feet, forgetting that the werewolf was asleep on his shoulder. "A cure?" They both said.

Remus rubbed his eyes. "A cure?" he asked a beat later.

Draco nodded. "But it's tricky." He slowly walked towards the bed. "I can try but you have to be open minded for this."

Sirius frowned. "What are you-" He stopped when he saw Draco starting to climb onto the bed. "What the hell!" Sirius lunched himself across the room and pulled Draco back roughly. "What the fuck are you playing at!"

"The antidote." Draco said, trying to wiggle his way out of Sirius' stronghold. "True love's kiss is the antidote."

"And who proclaimed you Harry's true love?" Sirius asked.

Draco scowled at the man and pulled his arm free. "I have to try." He started for the bed once again only to have Sirius pull him back a second time.

"Stay away from-" Sirius suddenly froze mid-speech and Draco frowned in confusion.

"Try." Lucius said. "I stunned him so if you want to try go ahead."

Draco nodded at his father and looked at Remus as if for his approval and Remus nodded. The younger Malfoy climbed onto the bed and leaned in.

"One last thing." Lucius said, causing Draco to pause. "I won't give him up so easily... if Harry decides to be yours, then so be it... but that does not mean I won't try to win him back."

Both Malfoys looked at each other, a silent understanding travelled between both of them and Draco nodded before he looked back to Harry.

Draco kissed Harry; he conveyed all his love and hope and feelings through that kiss. He played their first kiss in his head... he remembered the first day he saw Harry all frumpy and cute but wild.

_Harry... I'm sorry for my hand in your situation... we need you to wake up... I need you to smile... and pull pranks on Ron... and insult me again... I miss you... I miss the fire that you brought into this world... don't let it die... I love you..._

The kiss was chaste at first then it deepened as Harry arched into the kiss. A thin hand rose to cup Draco's cheek and Draco pulled back startled; Harry's green eyes peered curiously at Draco before they quickly closed again and the hand dropped.

Everyone blinked in awe.

"I'll get Severus." Remus said and he raced out of the room.

Draco was pushed away as Lucius moved in to gently caress Harry's cheeks, whispering words of encouragement into Harry's ear. Severus arrived in moments and worked quickly to give Harry the potions he need. The Weasleys, Neville and Luna, who unfroze Sirius, all filed in later and chattered excitedly about Harry getting better; they thanked the potions master and their gods and wished that Harry would improve. No one but Severus noticed that Draco had once again slipped out of the room.

Harry lapsed into a coma as his body repaired itself after weeks of only his magic keeping him alive.

_**A/N:**__ wow... well that's the end everyone... I'm just kidding... and it all comes to a full circle now... _

"_He stands- he stoops to gaze- he kneels- he wakes her with a kiss." I got this sentence from Wikipedia as I was researching sleeping beauty._

_I was seriously contemplating writing a lemon scene for Lucius and Severus but I thought that'd be too much drama... the photograph Severus was looking at was inspired by the cover art I set up for this story... I'm gonna write one or two more chapters before I write the ending... so vote if you want all of them... what's gonna happen to Harry, who will he choose, what about Severus... that and more in future chapters... if you have any questions whatsoever regarding the story, I'll be happy to answer them... I still have assignments to take care of so I'll see you when I see you... review please._


	23. Chapter 24

_Finally, i'm free-ish... i was able to write during the breaks i had in between assignments... thank you for your patience... i hope you enjoy this chap!_

_I would like to thank __**dan8**__**, **__**MarquasNoir97**__,__**Annabeth Volturi, **__**starlight-wish**__** and **__**aliengirlguy**__ for their reviews._

**Warning:** this chapter contains tears, Severus, Karma, oak trees and major fluff (I think we were expecting this sooner or later).

CHAPTER 23: HOLLOW

**Present Day (August 2008)**

Harry's room was in disarray; the curtain half hung on its rails, the Quidditch poster on the north wall had a huge slash on it, the door that lead to the bathroom was in pieces on the floor with just a small chuck of wood hanging on the hinges. All the light bulbs in the room had shattered so the only source of light in this dimly lit room was from the half-opened window.

Sirius and Remus cautiously opened the door and peered nervously at Harry; the brunet did nothing, he just sat in the middle of his bed, looking down at his blanket. It has been about a day since Harry woke up; Remus and Sirius were relieved it was not another twister but all morning up until the afternoon, Harry's magic had been going wild- with a single flash of sadness, anger or distress, something will suddenly smash or rip so loudly that it could be heard through Grimmuald Place.

"Harry?" Sirius said softly, taking a step inside.

"Get out." Harry growled, not looking up.

Sirius shook his head. "Please cub, we just want to help-" With a glare from Harry, a vase about two feet from the man abruptly exploded and the new comers promptly obeyed the brunet's order.

Harry looked back down to the blanket; he could not believe Lucius had done that to him- kicked him out, broke his promise... Then again, he was to blame; he had no business kissing Draco... Lily's life was the price to pay for his carelessness.

The new information he has now changed everything; he did not know if he could face Lucius or Draco but he knew for sure that the potions master will be hearing from him soon enough- he had a feeling Severus had a hand in reviving him. Nevertheless, Harry was confused; how could he start over again, where would he start from... he did not know how to pick up the pieces, _if_ he could pick up the pieces.

The brunet shook slightly with emotion; he had cried all his tears that morning... now all he felt was hollow. As he raised a shaky hand to wipe his face, he felt something cold weigh his hand down; Harry looked down and his eyes widened at the beautiful ring on his finger; he removed the ring to admire it and when he squinted, he could make out the words,

_I love you: those three words have my life in them__- Lucius_

Harry's tears seemed to have replenished a bit as a little salty stream silently made its way down a pale cheek.

**000**

"Sirius, he'll be fine." Remus comforted his lover. "This is a start; he didn't really show any emotion after Lily's death before... let him mourn."

Sirius and Remus sat in the kitchen, it was lunchtime but none of them could eat. "He looked so angry..." Sirius said lowly, looking into his bowl of potato porridge. He was angry as well, but not at Lucius, Draco or even the thugs that attacked Harry, instead it was at himself; for not being there for his godson when he needed him most.

"After everything; losing the baby, then getting his memories back after being poisoned and raped by Romulus... it's understandable." Remus reasoned.

"I'm glad that son of a bitch is in Azkaban." Sirius growled before he then sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I just wish I could take the pain away."

Remus got off his stool and hugged his love tightly. "I know, love... I know."

Sirius relaxed into the embrace and nuzzled the werewolf's neck, breathing in his warm, earthy smell while Remus pulled back and took Sirius in for a comforting kiss that quickly got heated.

"No offence but..." The sudden voice caused both men to jump apart, while sitting at the island and spreading jam unto his toast was Harry. "...get a room, will you?" Sirius and Remus stared openly at Harry as he took a bite of his toast. "Guys, I'm not gonna make you burst into flames." The brunet was donned in simple black jeans, blue sneakers and a blue T-shirt

Both men blinked. "H-Harry, how... how are you?" Remus stuttered awkwardly; he did not know how to start a conversation with someone who just remembered he has been through hell... pleasantries seemed to be a good start.

Harry shrugged. "I'm alive." was his curt reply as he finished his first toast and moved on to spreading jam on the second.

There was silence as Harry continued to eat.

Sirius bit his lip nervously. "Harry, do you need anything?"

Harry shook his head. "No." He said brusquely and sighed when he saw Sirius' face fall a bit. "Listen, Sirius... what I know now may have changed some things but it does not change the fact that I forgive you for what you did... I just need to think a while... and digest the whole information, okay?" He finished with a small reassuring smile.

Both men nodded. "Take your time," Remus said the same time Sirius declared, "We're here for you."

Harry finished his brunch and pushed his plate away. "I'm going for a walk... don't worry, I made sure I have my wand." He got up and after a moment's hesitation, he hugged both men, startling them. "Thank you for everything."

Sirius and Remus looked at each other questioningly before they tightened their hold on Harry. "We love you, cub." Sirius said as he placed a kiss on the brunet's forehead. "Don't ever doubt that."

They would have stayed like that if Harry did not pull away with a tiny smile and a teary look. "I'll see you later." He released them and made his way slowly to the front door.

Sirius frowned at the retreating back. _I hope he'll be alright._ Remus squeezed his shoulder as if he could hear his thoughts.

"He'll be fine, Padfoot...You must be tired." Remus said gently. "Let finish our lunch and take a nap, okay?"

Sirius wanted to protest but he suddenly did feel tired; all that time taking care of Harry after he lost Lily, then looking after him after the suicide attempt and then making sure he got better after being poisoned. It was as if Remus' words released him from his guilt-fuelled insomnia. "Alright." He said.

**000**

**Severus POV**

I folded the letter I had just received and threw it into the fireplace in disgust; Black and Remus were thanking me for my help and also telling me that Potter was up and running. To be truthful, I feel miserable; I should have just kept my damn mouth shut instead of having to deal with rejection... I liked ignorance better.

I wonder what Lucius is thinking of now; it is painfully obvious that the mutt will send both him and Draco a letter as well... or at least just Lucius. I should probably stop thinking about him; it only stirs up the bitterness- the irony of it all: all that time hoping he would love me and he does... only to have it thwarted by a snivelling little brat.

I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose tiredly; it's not Potter's fault, no matter how much I want it to be... it's mine. I should have been brave enough to tell him about my feelings when he told me about Narcissa... now that I'm too late, I can't even take it like a man... I'm moping- I laugh at that- I, Severus Tobias Snape, am moping. Draco would have a field day with that.

The fireplace roared to life and glowed green, catching my attention. "Potter." I drawled.

The boy is still too thin to my liking and paler than usual; he has a dangerous look in his eyes- is that supposed to frighten me?- he approached me slowly and stopped a few feet from my fireplace. "Snape." He said coldly.

I give him my trademark smirk. "What may I do for you, Potter?" I asked, as I busied myself with stirring my current potion. "If it's to thank me, your godfather already did that... but I have a feeling you are here for the contrary."

"You're right." He said.

"Well, get on with it; as you can see, I'm busy." I snapped.

"I know you found the antidote." Potter said- he is obviously still as perceptive as he was in school.

"And?" I said impatiently.

"Why?"

"Are you trying to say I should have let Romulus kill you?" I drawled- the selfish boy has no concern for Lucius whatsoever.

"That's not the antidote I'm talking about." Potter said.

I put the lid back on the cauldron and turn to the imp. "Evermore potion?" Potter seemed hesitant at first, as if he was unsure, but then he nodded. "Do not blame me, Potter; first of all, Lucius and the others would not let me have a moment's peace, then, I must admit, I got curious as to what the cure was and lastly, whoever was in your stead on that faithful day duped you."

"Why?" The boy asked again.

"Are you deaf, boy?" I hissed. "I already told-"

"I mean, you could have just let me die... why didn't you... it would have been better that this...hell."

I laughed at that; personally, I am as surprised as Potter is because, I actually intended to shout at him. "Potter, you don't know the value of life... I have lived long enough and been through much more than you... I should be the one with the right to contemplate suicide- which was, by the way, very cowardly.

"You may have defeated Voldemort and opened a few orphanages but honestly, anyone could have done that... you decided to give yourself a break and live off your royalties and fortune... you have contributed to society in no way at all... so don't give me that shit about wanting to die."

Potter's fierce facade dropped. "I... I just... I didn't mean to-"

"For God's sake spit it out, boy!" I finally shouted.

Potter flinched a bit, a small albeit petty victory for myself. "I couldn't handle it." The boy said.

"But you can now?" I scoffed. "Halleluiah." I finished dryly.

"I'm not sure; I can't trust anyone anymore... I don't know what to do with myself." Potter said lowly and looked down. I could hear sadness coat his voice.

"Well, grow up and think." I scolded. "I don't have time to think for you... you're a grown man now." I finished softly.

Silence.

"I also came to ask for your advice." Potter looked back up. "About Lucius... and Draco... I just finished visiting the Weasleys, they all say I should try to patch things up with Lucius and give him a chance... but I also want yours."

This is the moment when most of us will use this opportunity to our advantage; I could tell Potter to leave Europe and never return, to start a new life somewhere... but I won't do that to Lucius; he was happy- blissful, in fact- with Potter; if I can't have his affection, I can at least let him have happiness. So I said the most neutral, non-judgemental thing that came to mind.

"You may be lacking in other areas, but when it comes to being principled, you rise well above others."I said to Potter. "Do what you think is right."

**000**

Harry Potter wandered down the lowly streets of London, thinking; _does Lucius actually love me then? What about Draco? What do I do? _

_**Don't ask me... I'm as clueless as you are... **_

Harry hung his head. _I could move..._

_**Not an option... You can't run away like that.**_

_Then what should I do!... I lost everything..._

_**Not everything...**_

_Whose side are you on!_

_**Definitely not the side of cowardice.**_

Harry started to retort before he snapped his [mental] mouth shut. _I __**am**__ a coward, aren't I? I wanted to run away from Lucius... I wanted to run away from myself... I wanted to leave the world..._

_**Those were situations, I could sympathise with... in this situation, only you have the power to make things right again... you can either run away and be labelled a coward for the rest of your life- I'm sure Snape will get a kick out of that- or you can stay and face this... compared to Voldemort, this should be a walk in the park...**_

Harry stopped walking. _It __**should**__ be a walk in the park... but it's not... I lost my baby girl... she didn't even have a chance to taste life..._

_**All things happen for a reason.**_

_Philosophical son of a bitch! _

"Look boys." A snide voice rang through the area. "Fresh ass."

_Bugger._ Harry's legs had taken him to the familiar street where his world had crashed. As he turned to warn the intruder, he froze; the men who had attacked him in the alley two years ago now had surrounded him with the same sickening smile as before.

"Hey, pretty boy." A man said, coming closer to Harry. "Are you lost?"

_**I told you...all things happen for a reason.**_ The voice in his head said in a singsong manner. _**Now, Harry Fate has allowed you to cross paths with those who wronged you... what will you do with this juicy turn of events.**_

_I have few ideas._ "Yes, I'm very lost... thank you for your help." Harry said feigning innocence as he smiled sweetly at the men.

**Five Minutes Later...**

Harry walked out of the alley and dusted his clothes off; behind him was a heap of bloodied and bruised men. As much as he would love to kill them just like they had killed Lily, he felt it was not worth his energy. However, it took a lot of restraint on his anger and magic to not do away with them. He was thankful for the silencing spell and wards he had put up, otherwise, their anguished screams would have been heard.

Harry sent an _Obliviate_ towards the heap and tucked his wand into his back pocket.

"Harry?" The brunet froze- he knew that voice- and turned slowly towards the source. A dark haired man stood on the other side of the alley's entrance with a bag of miscellaneous items in one hand and a brown paper bag full of groceries close to his chest. "Harry... is that you?"

"Al." Harry frowned at his ex's horrified look; it marred his sweet features.

Al looked much different from when Harry last saw him; frown lines creased his forehead, and instead of an aloof shadow, there was a growing beard, even is hair had grown out and was now wilder than Harry's, his beautiful blue eyes were bloodshot and tired looking. "Are they dead?" He looked at the heap of unconscious men and then at the area Harry hid the wand. "What did you do? With that stick?"

"No, they are not dead... I beat them to a pulp... something I should have done to you myself." Harry hissed.

Al flinched a bit as if he had been slapped. "About that day... Harry I... I didn't mean to-"

"What?" Harry yelled and took a threatening step towards the taller brunet. "You didn't mean to what? Almost rape me? Force fellatio upon me?" He hissed.

Al did not look away as Harry came to stand in front of him. "Yes." He said to Harry.

Harry blinked, he did not expect that answer. "Well, too bad... I'm not in a good mood so I really can't listen to crap right now." He folded his arms and smirked at Al.

"Please, Harry... I've been useless without you... knowing that I did that to you..." Al stepped closer to Harry. "If you're willing to give me a chance, I'll explain... please, just one chance." He added when he saw Harry glare.

Harry looked at Al for a long time; this was the man- other than Lucius or Draco- he had been giving himself up to... He had been ready to leave Lucius for him.

Harry sighed and then focused on Al. "You have one minute."

Al smiled, it was the smile that Harry always loved to see on his face; he could melt the world with that smile. "There's a pub nearby." He said.

"This is not a causal outing, _Allen_." Harry spat out Al's full name.

Al's smile faded quickly and he shifted nervously under Harry's heavy gaze. "Um... there's a park nearby."

Harry nodded and stood aside, silently cueing Al to lead the way. The park was beautiful... Harry hated that; what right did the park have to look amazing and smell sweet when he was bitter.

Harry and Al sat silently on a green bench; actually, Harry seethed while Al rubbed his thumbs together. "Well?" Harry asked impatiently.

Al nodded, his thumb rubbing increased. "When you told me you wanted to break up with me, I was devastated... I had never met anyone so full of life... so vibrant... losing you was like having a hot poker been shoved through my heart..."

Harry smirked again. "Flattery will get you nowhere." He snarled.

Al blinked and nodded. "Right... I mean, I didn't see you for a week and I was scared... worried that something bad had either happened to you or... you had moved on to that Lucius bloke... when I finally see you... I was so relieved... but then you ended it just like that... and I panicked..."

Harry scoffed. "Understatement of the century."

"I have split personality disorder." Al blurted out in a gush.

Harry had to backtrack to make sure he had heard him properly. "What?"

"I wasn't the one that almost raped you... it was my... _other_." Al said lowly. "The last thing I remember was you walking out my door and then I woke up outside in the rain... I can recall a few flashes of you begging me to stop but not evrything. "

Harry's anger almost disappeared completely. "Why didn't you tell me... I could have helped you."

Al shook his head violently and bit his bottom lip. "I thought he was under control... he hasn't been out since I was fifteen... and when he is, it's very rare; like when I'm in _bad_ trouble... I didn't know he would do something like that..." His body shook as he started sobbing. "Harry... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you... I just... I was scared." Harry frowned for a moment, suspicious before he moved hesitantly to hug the taller brunet, who nuzzled Harry's neck as the sobs became louder. "Forgive me... I'm sorry... I would never hurt you..." Al blubbered.

Harry rubbed his back. "Shh... it's okay... it's alright..." He cooed.

**000**

About an hour later, Al had stopped crying; he and Harry lay under an oak tree as Harry narrated all that had happened to him after their encounter.

"Wait," Al said as he frowned and turned to Harry. "Wizards can get pregnant?"

Harry shrugged. "Just a handful." He said.

Al's brow sloped dangerously as his frown deepened. "So, if... if we had..." He gestured awkwardly to the space between them.

Harry smiled a little at the behaviour. "No, I don't think it would have happened." He said. "Yes, a few wizards can get pregnant but it's only once in their lifetime that it happens."

"Oh." Al said and stared up at the tree shading them. "So, twenty-two, huh?"

Harry frowned this time and looked at the taller brunet. "What?" He asked, confused.

"Your birthday was about two weeks ago." Al explained. "I guess with all this shit going on, you forgot."

Harry chuckled bitterly at that. "Yeah, and to top it all up, I was raped."

Al bolted up and stared down at Harry. "WHAT!" he yelled so loudly, the birds inhabiting the tree above them fluttered away. "How are you this calm?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know." He said lowly. "To me, it just doesn't reach the pain threshold compared to Lily's death."

Al looked worriedly at Harry. "Have you visited your friends?" he asked. Harry nodded. "Have you spoken to Lucius and Draco?" Harry shook his head. "Have you visited your daughter?" Harry did nothing. "I'll take that as a no."

"I can't bring myself to do that just yet." Harry said.

Al nodded. "Alright." He lay back on the grass next to Harry and they stayed in silence for while. "Harry," said brunet looked up. "...is it possible that we... you, know... that we could try again... us, I mean."

Harry sat up this time, with a sigh. "Al, I don't think that's a good idea."

Al looked dejected. "I thought as much."

"It's not about what happened before." Harry said. "Back then, I wasn't so keen on entering into a relationship with you because I was a mess... now, I'm an even bigger mess... it won't be wise."

Al nodded slowly and sat up as well. "I understand." He said lowly with a sigh. "Well, you know where to find me if you need me."

Harry shook his head. "I can't let you wait for me... you have to move on, Al."

"Harry-"

"No, Al." Harry interrupted. "I've been very selfish; you deserve so much better than me... I'll weigh you down with all my crap." Harry's head hung low as he finished.

"Now, who's being a drama queen?" Al laughed a little and gently turned Harry's face to his. "Haven't you heard anything I said? I love you." He wiped a tear that seemed to suddenly appear on Harry's cheek. "I can never get over to you... even if you threaten me with death."

Harry sniffled a little; it was relieving to hear affectionate words after he remembered his tribulations... and to make it more amorous, Al never gave up on him... _not like Lucius._ He could run away with Al and live happily with him... no one will question his decision...

_...but will it really be a life? The life I want?_

"Al." Harry said lowly. "I can't let you wait for me." He repeated. Harry produced his wand. "You have to forget me."

Al looked at the wand and then back up at Harry. "You're going to make me forget." He said matter of factly.

Harry nodded.

Al caressed Harry's cheek and rested his forehead on Harry's. "Is it necessary?" he whispered.

Harry nodded, dark hair mingling with each other. "I want to move on too... without any guilt." He admitted.

Silence.

"Ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?" Al asked.

"Yes." Harry said.

"You may have it... a twisted version with magic wands and the power to make people forget." Al said with a smile while a tear ran down his face.

"You know me... I'm a rule breaker!" Harry laughed a little as Al shook his head, amused. "But you're wrong, this isn't Stockholm syndrome... I was never a victim with you."

The taller brunet smiled sadly. "So this is where we part." Harry nodded. "I guess, it's better this way." Al continued. "But I want I last thing from you."

Harry looked up at Al and raised a brow.

"One last kiss?" He asked. "Please?"

Harry smiled. "You are being selfish." He said in a mock scolding voice.

Al shrugged. "I may never see you again... I might as well be." He finished with a sly smile.

Harry laughed and then leaned in slowly until their lips met; it was tender and sweet... it reminded Harry of all the times they had together and all the possibilities he may never have if he continued on this path... if he let Al go.

They pulled apart and Al hugged Harry tightly, breathing in his scent. They stayed like that for a long time until Al then kissed Harry's forehead and moved back. "Goodbye Harry... I love you."

Harry sighed and put his wand up to Al's temple. "I know." He said with a sad smile. "_Obliviate._"

_**A/N:**__ OMG... i cried while i was writing this chapter... it was inspired by James Blunt's 'Goodbye My Lover'... so fluffy i know... and i understand if you're sick now... the quote on the ring was by_ _Alexandrea to Nicholas III__... __my shool's on a break but i have three essays, one proposal and one exam coming up... and they are all due on or before november... so once again, you may have to wait a while... the next chapter may be the first ending... sorry if this chapter feels rushed... i'll try better next time... review!_


	24. Chapter 25

_Hello everyone... the first ending... wow... it's been a long road so far and as my semester is drawing to a close soon, so is this story... I'm thinking of writing only two endings but we'll see... this ending is my least favourite, that's why I'm writing this first- to get it over with... I shall continue like this; start with my least favourite and then move on to my favourite... I hope you like this ending... if you don't then wait for the next one... enjoy._

_I would like to thank __**dan8**__**, **__**MarquasNoir97**__,__**Annabeth Volturi and **__**aliengirlguy**____for their reviews... continue please, I appreciate them._

**Warning:** this chapter contains rings, tombstones, kissing, responsibility and pretty much sappy crap (please keep a tissue on standby... to laugh at my horrible attempt at sap).

ENDING 1: OF THORNS AND ROSES

A lone figure looked down at the ring in his palm; it's wide platinum band gleamed brightly in the setting sun and the tiny emerald in the middle looked like a verdant eye. The last time he was at Godric's Hollow was when he was searching for the Horcruxes; that day had been a horrible day for him... just like today.

Harry Potter sat on the ground beside his daughter's tombstone and sighed. "I know I let you down, Lily... I don't think a billion sorrys can make it up to you... you didn't deserve any of this... now I feel so lost..." Harry said and then looked down at the tombstone. "I don't know what to do, honey."

He ran his fingers down the side of the expensive marble and then gently touched the golden plaque that read,

_Here lies_

_Lily Helena Potter-Malfoy_

_So beautiful, so young_

"I imagined you with beautiful silver hair like your papa and maybe with your grandma's eyes... or even with dark hair like me and eyes like your papa... I'm glad we kept your birth a secret... it's not that I want to hide you... I'm just glad because no filthy reporters can disturb your peace or..." Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes in disappointment. "I don't even know what to say to you... how can I talk to Lucius... or even Draco!"

A frustrated tear escaped his eyes and he wiped it off with unnecessary force. "I'm so sorry, baby... I'm just confused; I mean, I may not have loved Luc the way he loved me but I didn't want to hurt him this way... then there's Draco; I don't know what to think about Draco... it would be kind of cliché if we ever got together- school rivals turned lovers... classic love story." He finished with a laugh.

Harry twirled the ring in his fingers. "Lucius obviously still has feeling for me but I'm afraid of hurting him again... because I love... because I love..." He stopped again and sighed. "Because I _don't_ love your papa... not like this... but this is not about me, this is about you... I promise... I'll try to make it up to you."

**000**

That night Lucius Malfoy waited nervously in his study; he was wondering what Harry could be thinking about him. _He must see me as a monster... how do I start... where do I start from... I wish Harry had remembered that first morning so I wouldn't have to be this damn anxious... Oh Severus..._

Lucius had been thinking of Severus since the day they kissed; he still wanted a life with the man but hell would freeze over before he would let Harry suffer again but he highly doubt that Harry would want him.

As if on cue, the fireplace roared and glowed green; Harry stepped out awkwardly from the embers and stared at the blonde. He was angry, sad, confused and... so many emotions he had no words for but he knew feelings will get him nowhere.

"Harry, how are-" Lucius started.

Harry raised a hand to silence him. "I would prefer it if we just cut to the chase." He said coolly.

Lucius nodded and watched carefully as Harry made his way across the room and sat on the couch that faced the fireplace before he sat by his desk. They sat in absolute silence as they both thought of what to say to the other.

"How could you." Harry said lowly. "I thought you going to always be there for me... what happened?"

Lucius said, he had been expecting that question. "To be quite honest, I have no-"

"Don't you dare!" Harry hissed. "You are Lucius_ bloody_ Malfoy; you have the answers the everything... if this is just to spare my feelings, that boat left when you kicked me out."

Lucius sighed again. "I always knew about Draco's attraction to you... I think at some time after our truce, he noticed my attraction for you as well because he was becoming more and more amorous."

"So that's it?" Harry hissed. "It was just some competition between father and son to see who can lay the-boy-who-lived?"

Lucius shook his head. "No, no... oh God, this is coming out wrong." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yes, at some point it might have turned into a competition but it was unintentional... all we wanted was a chance at your affection."

"That doesn't explain your actions." Harry scoffed.

Lucius nodded. "When I finally had you, I had my suspicions that Draco might still pursue you... I pushed back the thought; I told myself that you would never do that to me." Harry's smirk faded at that. "When I came home and saw both of you together... it broke my heart; all my fears coming to pass... I decided to break it off with you immediately before you broke my heart any further."

They were silent once again as the new information sunk in.

"You should have let me explain." Harry said lowly.

"I thought you would explain why you might not want me anymore." Lucius said with a tired sigh. "It does not excuse what I have done, I know that... but I can never express how deeply and truly sorry I am, Harry."

Silence again.

Lucius' head hung low as Harry spoke. "At first when you told me to leave, I hated you; if you had allowed me to explain, none of this shit would have happened... I wouldn't have left, I wouldn't have gotten attacked... I could have been holding Lily in my arms now... but most especially I hated myself." The blonde whipped up his head. "I broke your heart and trust... after everything you did for me; you took me in and loved me... you had every right to throw me away... I would have understood." A tear escaped his eye. "I'm sorry, Luc... for everything."

Lucius got up and walked towards Harry. "I did not want to throw you away." He kneeled before Harry and wiped his tear away. "I know I hurt you... I broke my promise... if you are willing to give me another chance, I am yours." He took both of Harry's hands and kissed them.

Harry could only stare at him; yes, he wanted to fix things with Lucius but he felt torn... he had promised his daughter that he would, for her sake, patch things with Lucius but his heart did not belong to him.

"Or are you in love with Draco?" Lucius asked when Harry was silent for a long time; deep down, he wished for Harry to say yes, that would allow him to be with Severus without any guilt.

Harry bit his lips, unsure of what to say, and then he remembered the ring; he brought it out of his pocket. "Did you mean this?" he asked as he showed the ring.

Lucius blinked at the ring, he had forgotten about that; when he had proposed to Harry, he meant it then but now, he was unsure. "Yes, I did." He said carefully.

"Do you still mean it?" Harry pressed.

Lucius swallowed. _Forgive me, Severus._ "Yes." He said with a small nod.

Harry looked at Lucius and then at the ring and back again; Lucius still wanted him. "I promised Lily that I would give you another chance." Harry said and handed Lucius the ring. The blonde looked at the ring in confusion but then Harry stuck out his hand. "I will marry you, Lucius Malfoy." Harry said with a smile.

Lucius smiled brightly at that and slipped the ring onto Harry's finger.

Harry admired the jewellery as Lucius sat beside him and placed a kiss on his head. "It's beautiful." He said and smiled up at his fiancé. "So was the tombstone; thank you for being there for Lily when I couldn't."

Lucius smiled warmly. "She will always be my baby girl, dead or alive." He gently caressed Harry's cheek and leaned in. "You know I love you, right?" he whispered.

Lucius and Harry's throat tightened at those words; Lucius knew he was lying to Harry- Severus still held his heart and Harry knew that he owed this to his daughter- he will not let her death be in vain.

"I know." Harry managed to whisper back before their lips met in a kiss.

**000**

**The Next Day...**

**Draco POV**

It has been about a day since I got my letter from Sirius saying Harry was well; I expected Harry to come yesterday to probably kick my arse for what I did to him, instead he had gone to see father. I took a sip from my tumbler of firewhiskey and sighed- I really need to stop drinking.

I laid on the couch in my study; father and I have not spoken to each other for a while now... that might be due to old wounds being opened- this whole amnesia thing has pushed both of us to our breaking points.

"Firewhiskey again?" a voice rang out, making me jump which in turn made the glass in my hand slip and pour all its contents on my newshirt... _again_- I had worn that shirt to impress Harry.

"Bloody hell!" I cursed and jumped off the couch ready to bite off a few heads. My tirade stopped when I spotted Harry by the door.

"That's the second time I've startled you, Malfoy." He said, his face blank. "You're losing your touch."

I blinked as Harry cast a cleaning spell on my shirt. "You should really learn to knock, Potter." I mumbled as I picked up an invisible lint from the material.

There was a deafening silence but I knew what was coming.

"We need to talk, Draco." Harry said finally.

I looked back at his face; there was a gloomy look in his eyes and his hands were clenched in fists, as if he were in pain. "I gathered." I said. "Come in."

Harry obeyed and went to stand by the window, ignoring my gesturing hand towards the sofa; something was obviously wrong.

"I don't know what to say to you." Harry said, still looking out the window.

I let my hand drop and sighed. "Neither do I." I said. "To be honest, I expected you to walk in here screaming and throwing punches."

Harry's lips twitched a little. "So did I." He said. "But then I realised, that would get me nowhere."

Silence again.

"Lucius proposed." Harry suddenly blurted out.

I blinked again. "Oh," was all I could say. "And... and what did you say?" I asked as fear crept over my heart.

Harry turned to face me and I made myself look at his folded hands; his right arm covered his left hand neatly but I could make out a gleaming ring thanks to the sunlight from the window.

"We wed in three months." He said lowly with a sigh.

My heart broke to pieces; all my efforts to get Harry... wasted... but that doesn't mean I still can't try. "Harry, don't do it." I said. "I know you don't love him, Harry... I _felt_ it... you want me." I took a step towards him and he took a step back but I continued. "Did he guilt you into this?"

Harry glared. "Nobody guilt me into anything." He snarled. "I agreed to marry him without any-."

"You're lying." I cut him off and he seems startled by my declaration. "When you lie, you bite the corner of your mouth... if father hasn't picked up on that then you shouldn't be with him." Now I was right in front of him, having backed him up into a corner. "You can still stop this from happening... call it off before it too-"

"STOP IT!" Harry yelled, making me hush and stop my march towards him. "You can't keep doing this, Draco... you can't make me just call it off because you say so... it stops now... I should have stopped your advances immediately they started... I was not firm enough but now I'm saying it... this has to stop, Draco... I'm marrying Lucius and there's nothing you can do about it..."

I stood and stared as the cogs in my head turned; it makes no sense, I saved him from the potion, I felt him when we kissed... you cannot just _stop_ loving someone. Then it hit me. "Lily." I whispered.

"What?" Harry asked, he tried to put up a confused facade but I could see a spark of relief in his eyes.

"You're doing this for Lily." I said. "You _do _love me."

Harry shook his head. "Don't be so full of yourself." He made to manoeuvre around me but I put up both my hands with lighting seeker reflexes, blocking him. "Move." He growled lowly and narrowed his eyes.

"Say it then." I demanded. "Tell me you don't love me and I won't bother you again... and don't lie- I know when you're lying."

Harry's eyes widened as I leaned close. "En-enough, Draco." He warned shakily. "Let me go." I knew his heart was racing because his breathing suddenly became laboured.

"Not until you say it." I said as I leaned even closer. "I won't let you do this without exploring all parts of this... situation... I don't want you to regret anything... Now... do you love me, Har-umph." Harry's lips were suddenly on mine; his hands gripped my shoulders painfully, startling me for a moment but I quickly took control of the kiss and deepened it. Locking the doors and floo to avoid interruption, I pulled him close; one hand firmly around his waist and the other carding through his hair.

Although this may have revealed his feelings, I suspect that Harry will not stray from his plan of marrying father; of course, he and father will get together- I'm sure father relished the opportunity to have Harry wholly for himself. Harry, on the other hand, would want to honour his daughter- courting the man that indirectly caused her death would add insult to injury.

The kiss started to slow, it was glaringly obvious that Harry did not want this to end but he pulled away. "I can't be with you, Draco... you have to find someone else and be happy." He said, out of breath.

"So should you." I gasped back.

Harry shook his head. "I have a responsibility, Draco." He said firmly this time and stepped back. "This will not happen again." He practically growled but I could hear the misery in his voice. "Never refer to me in any inappropriate manner... I get married in three months... it would be less painful if you got over it now..." I opened my mouth to protest. "Please... for both our sakes." He said quickly and I closed my mouth.

So he came to say goodbye to me... at least he had the courtesy to do so. "Alright, Harry... I won't bother you again." I know when I can't do anything more; I deserved this anyway, I had a hand in Lily's death... and this is the price I pay. "Congratulations by the way... and welcome to the family." I said lowly and tried to smile.

Harry gave a small smile. "Thank you." He said.

We basked in companionable silence as we smiled awkwardly at each other; I hate awkwardness.

"Hm." I rubbed my hand on my chin pensively as I inspected the man in front of me.

"What?" Harry's smile faded at my scrutiny.

"Do you have baby fat?" I asked; that seemed like the best way to kill the tension.

It must have worked because Harry's face reddened. "What kind of fucked up question is that?!" he yelled.

I shrugged. "Just want to see if I can use your pudginess to my advantage." I smirked at him. "Quidditch?"

Harry narrowed his eyes and gave a sly grin; he seemed grateful to me for not making us go through awkward months of trying rebuild our friendship. "You're on, pot-belly." He started to walk out of my study.

"I don't have a pot-belly!" I cried but could not help but look at my stomach, which I painstakingly sculpted to look as good as it does now.

Harry chuckled. "Not with all that drinking!" he called and darted out of my study.

"Why you..." I growled playfully and ran after him. "We'll see about that, Potter!"

I may have lost the war but I still got Harry- ironic, isn't it? It might not be exactly what I wanted but there comes a time when one must count their blessings; having Harry just as a friend is better than not having him at all.

**000**

Severus was almost done with Remus' potion; he had made sure to throw himself into his work, if it would mean not thinking about Lucius. Yesterday, his curiosity got the best of him and unfortunately, he had seen Lucius propose to Harry. He felt like a fool; _why would a Malfoy want to associate himself with someone of the likes of me? I'm the worthless friend who does all the work and never gets rewarded at the end... I'm one of those characters in a book that stands back and watches as everyone gets their happy ending._

Severus felt a hand on his shoulder and he whipped out his wand with a speed that would have Harry sputtering.

"Calm down, Sev." The intruder said, putting up his hand. "It's me."

"Don't do that, Lucius." Severus growled and lowered his wand. "I could have killed you."

"Well, I have been knocking for the past ten minutes." Lucius said matter-of-factly and leaned down to see the book in Severus' hand. "Hm... Severus, since when do you read upside-down?"

The potions master blinked at the book and gracefully turned it right side up. "I was thinking."

Lucius made a sound to show he acknowledged the answer. "I want to tell you somethi-"

"You and the brat are engaged." Severus drawled, interrupting him.

Lucius blinked. "How did you-"

"The bond." Severus said.

"What?"

Severus rolled his eyes and pulled out a drawer. "We have a bond." He explained. The potions master produced a greenish potion and gave it to Lucius. "Just a sip." He instructed.

Lucius looked at the potion suspiciously but obeyed; the effect of the potion was immediate, he could see a thin golden thread streaming out of Severus' chest and flowing into his. The blonde took a step back and the thread lengthened.

"What is that?" Lucius asked.

"That is the Brothir Bondi or the Brother Bond." Severus explained. "It's Old Norse; I don't know when it appeared but I suspect it was when you declared me your brother, the day you announced your engagement to Narcissa.

"That's why sometimes you can feel if I'm in trouble and I can see what you are doing and thinking from a great distance away- it's a powerful bond." Severus finished and stood up to straighten his robes.

Lucius was silent for a moment as he allowed the new information to sink in. "Is it supposed to be so thin?" he asked finally.

"No," was Severus' reply. "It got thinner fairly quickly after the day we..." he trailed off. "We no longer see ourselves as brothers anymore... well, not a strongly as we did before... the bond is weakening."

"Oh." Lucius said.

They were silent so the only sound in the room was the bubbling of the potion Severus was preparing.

"If that is all, I would appreciate if you left: I'm very busy." The potions master turned his attention towards the potion.

"Severus-"

"Lucius, it would be best if we parted ways now..." Severus interrupted brusquely. "I don't want an explanation... Harry wants you... you can't abandon him: I get it... I'm not going to stand in your way."

Lucius' heart shattered at the harsh words; he could call off the wedding but that would be unfair to Harry... but now he is being unfair to Severus. "If that is what you wish." Lucius said slowly.

"It is." Severus said curtly, still not looking at him.

"I just want to say I'm sorry." Lucius said lowly.

"So am I." Severus said. "And congratulations."

Lucius nodded and started to leave but then he stopped. "We can still be brothers, right?"

Severus faltered in his stirring. "I doubt we can, Lucius." The blonde's heart sunk. "But I'll try... if we can't then... we'll just have to be friends." Severus looked back momentarily to smile at Lucius. "Now, get out... you're distracting me." He said with mock anger and turned to the potion again.

Lucius smiled and obeyed, oblivious to the small tear that ran down Severus' cheek and dropped into the potion he was stirring, ruining it.

"Bugger." Severus growled; he vanished the spoiled batch and started the potion again.

**000**

**EPILOGUE**

**000**

**Three Months Later...**

The wedding was today; acquaintances, friends and family of both the Malfoys and Harry were bustling with excitement... except one.

Severus lay on his bed, miserable; he was not going to the wedding, he did not think he could bear going to a second wedding of Lucius. He had accepted that he and Harry were going to get married but he just could not accept that once again Fate had spat in his face.

Draco walked into the room quietly and stared in silence as the once sharp Professor Snape wasted away on his bed. "Severus?"

Said man turned his attention from the ceiling to the blonde beside him; he looked much paler than usual- and that was saying something- he had lost weight and his eyes were puffy from weeping. "Draco." He said languidly.

Draco winced at the lifelessness of his voice. "We are about to leave."

"Alright." Severus looked back to the ceiling.

"Aren't you coming?" Draco sat beside the potions master.

The brunet sighed, he looked much older. "No, Draco... I'm not going."

"Not even for father?"

Severus frowned. "Most definitely not for him." He all but snarled.

Draco nodded. "I understand." He said. "But I have to."

"Why?" Severus asked dryly. "Why torture yourself by going there... why tease yourself with something you cannot have... it's devious and pathetic."

Draco closed his eyes. "I'm learning to move on." He said. "Going to this wedding will help me move on... it will help you too."

Severus glared at his godson. "As much as I appreciate your thoughtfulness, I will not go."

"You have to move on." Draco said lowly.

Severus laughed. "You talk as if I haven't tried... since the day Lucius announced his engagement to Narcissa, I've been trying to move on... but I can't." Severus sat up and looked at the youth in front of him. "It's not something that can go away... I can't get over it... I had proof... I had him... he loves me... and yet," another laugh. "...and yet, I lost him... again... do you know what kind of pain I went through... no, of course you don't... you're young... you can start again... but I can't..." he trailed off.

"Don't talk like that." Draco said.

"But it's the truth!" Severus snapped. "Life is not a bed of roses for everyone, Draco... sometimes, you get the thorns... even if you've worked so hard and what you want is the feel of just one soft petal, not everyone gets it." He finished lowly.

"Who says you still can't get it?" Draco asked with the lift of a brow.

"Don't be dense, Draco." Severus hissed, uncommitted. "Who will I love as much as Lucius? Who will love me back?"

Draco stared at Severus for a long time and then bit his lower lip. "I could." He said shyly.

Severus blinked at the blonde and frowned. "Perhaps you've drank to many calming potions." He said quietly.

"I'm serious, Severus." Draco said with a frown.

Severus' eyes widened. "Why?" He asked warily.

Draco moved closer to Severus. "We need to move on."

"So you think courting each other will help?" Severus asked and gave an amused chuckle.

"Just until we get our bearing; I don't think I can bear dating someone out there yet." Draco admitted. "We understand each other's predicament... we can help each other... I promise this is not just some fling... I shall be committed."

Severus turned serious again and thought for a long moment before he said, "I cannot replace Potter."

Draco nodded and boldly ran his fingers down Severus' cheek. "And I know I can't replace father." He said and leaned in. "But I think it's about time we got some sort of happy ever after... don't you?"

Severus said nothing; he closed the space between them and kissed Draco softly on the lips, he pulled back to lick his lips and then dove back in for another kiss. Severus reluctantly opened to Draco when his tongue poked at the potions master's lips; it felt wrong, not only did he practically raise Draco but he knew he couldn't give Draco what he was asking for... it was all a lie. However, he agreed with the blonde, false happiness seems to be the only alternative to no happiness at all.

Still attached at the lips, Severus got bolder and pulled Draco towards him until he was flush against his body, which in turn caused Draco to groan; he was going to milk this for as long as his conscience will allow him... Lucius' son was the next best thing to the Malfoy patriarch.

Draco pulled away, out of breathe and smiled at Severus. "I have to go." he said. Severus nodded and released Draco. "I'll see you after the wedding."

Severus nodded again. "My regards and apologises to the couple." He said.

Draco nodded and placed a small kiss on the potions master's lips before he slipped through the door.

Severus knew he should feel bad but he did not; why should he feel guilty when Draco was using him as well. This was to help him get back on track and try to forget... and Severus would do anything to forget.

**A/N:** _that's ending one... I was actually thinking of making Severus commit suicide after six months of dating Draco but I had a feeling some of you will rip my head off- and I like my head... miscommunication is a bitch, huh; if only Lucius and Harry knew the truth... well, more favourable endings will come up as soon as I can get all these school projects over and done with... I hoped you enjoyed this ending... review!_


	25. Chapter 26

_Hey... half of my projects are over, so I had some time to write... thank you __**Annabeth Volturi**__ for wishing me well with them... some of the phrases and possibly scenes from the first ending will be repeated again in this ending and the next but it will be with a twist... I can't say not many of you enjoyed the last chapter because not many reviewed... but so far, I've gotten a thumbs-down... I hope this one is alright... I won't exactly call it my favourite but I'll pick this ending over the last one any day... enjoy..._

_I would like to thank _**dan8****, ****MarquasNoir97**, **Annabeth Volturi and ****aliengirlguy** for their reviews.

**Warning:** this chapter contain letters, threats, crying, watering, trains, Paris and a supernatural appearance.

ENDING 2: LET GO

A lone figure looked down at the ring in his palm; it's wide platinum band gleamed brightly in the setting sun and the tiny emerald in the middle looked like a verdant eye. The last time he was at Godric's Hollow was when he was searching for the Horcruxes; that day had been a horrible day for him... just like today.

Harry Potter knelt in front of his daughter's tombstone and sighed. "I know I let you down, Lily... I don't think a billion sorrys can make it up to you... you didn't deserve any of this..." Harry said and then looked down at the tombstone. "I don't know what to do, honey."

He ran his fingers down the side of the expensive marble and then gently touched the golden plaque that read,

_Here lies_

_Lily Helena Potter-Malfoy_

_So beautiful, so young_

"I was careless... I didn't think of the consequences... I was stupid and... and I..." Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes in disappointment. "I don't even know what to say to you... how can I talk to Lucius... or even Draco!"

A frustrated tear escaped his eyes and he wiped it off with unnecessary force. "I'm so sorry, baby... I'm just confused; I mean, I may not have loved Luc the way he loved me but I didn't want to hurt him this way... then there's Draco; I don't know what to think about Draco... it would be kind of cliché if we ever got together- school rivals turned lovers... classic love story." He finished with a laugh.

Harry twirled the ring in his fingers. "Lucius obviously still has feeling for me but I'm afraid of hurting him again... because I love... because I love..." He stopped again and sighed. "Because I _don't_ love your papa... not like this... I can't do it..."

He held the ring tightly in his palm and wept. "I can't be with him... I can't face him again... or Draco..." He dug a small hole at the bottom of the tombstone and placed the ring in. "I'm sorry, honey... I know I'm being a coward but... I was happier not knowing..." he covered up the hole and patted it. "I love you Lily... even if I can't be around for you... I will always love you... never doubt that." He placed a small kiss on the plaque and got up but his trembling body made his knees buckle and he cried on his daughter's grave.

**000**

**Three Days Later...**

Lucius Malfoy waited nervously in his study; he was wondering what Harry could be thinking about him. _He must see me as a monster... how do I start... where do I start from... I wish Harry had remembered that first morning so I wouldn't have to be this damn anxious... Oh Severus..._

Lucius had been thinking of Severus since the day they kissed; he still wanted a life with the man but hell would freeze over before he would let Harry suffer again but he highly doubt that Harry would want him.

As if on cue, the fireplace roared and glowed green; Lucius had expected said brunet to walk through but instead Luna Lovegood sauntered out gracefully from the embers. She had a bright pink jacket over an orange blouse and green cotton trousers; besides her colourful attire, she looked grim and her eyes were rimmed red.

_She's been crying,_ Lucius deducted. "Miss Lovegood." He said, surprised.

"Mister Malfoy." She greeted in return with a small voice.

"Please, call me Lucius." The Malfoy patriarch said.

Luna smiled a little. "Only if you call me Luna." She said.

"Very well." Lucius said with a nod. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Luna's smile faded and then she produced a parchment from her jacket. "Harry said I should give this to you."

Lucius took the letter immediately from her outstretched hand and unfolded it.

_Lucius,_

_I am not sure what to say... I don't blame you for leaving me; I deserve everything that you did to me and all I can say is I'm sorry. _

_I saw the tombstone you put up for our daughter; it was beautiful... so was the ring... but I'm afraid, I don't love you that way. I know it took such a long time to realise that but I can't live like this anymore._

_I'm leaving... I sent letters to Sirius, Draco and Hermione so don't worry about them not knowing... I asked Luna to deliver it to you in person because I know you'll ask questions._

_I'm so sorry... about everything._

_Farewell,_

_Harry._

Lucius looked up. "Where is he?" he asked.

Luna wiped a tear from her cheek. "In the States." She answered truthfully.

"Take me to him." He demanded.

"I can't." Luna said, looking down.

"What do you mean, you can't!" Lucius all but yelled. "He could hurt himself!"

"He won't." Luna snapped, looking back up.

"How do you know!" Lucius yelled this time.

Luna sighed. "Because as far as he's concerned, he has no idea who you are or what you're talking about." At Lucius' confused look, she said, "He asked me to _Obliviate_ him." Lucius gasped in shock and sat down by his desk to allow the information to sink in. "He was hurting." Luna continued. "I didn't want to but he begged me; he was going mad with guilt... I had no choice, Lucius."

At the mention of his name, Lucius looked up. "Undo it." He said with trembling lips. "Please... I'll do anything... just bring him back."

"I can't." Luna said. "Harry thought of that... We made an Unbreakable Vow: he made me promise not to break the spell, no matter what... he wanted to start over... I wish I could but I can't... I'm sorry, Lucius... "

Lucius buried his face in his palms and sobbed. "Oh, God... Harry, I'm so sorry." _My fault... everything is my fault..._

"He gave me another message." Luna said and waited for Lucius' sobs to slow before she continued. "He said, you should move on... that's all he wants from you... he said you deserve someone better... he also said you should not look for him... I told Draco, Ron and Sirius as well but I have a feeling they won't listen... Hermione and Remus could probably keep Ron and Sirius in check but Draco... I'm worried about him... please promise me not to let him look..."

Lucius just nodded and they wallowed in uncomfortable silence; Lucius looked pointedly at the carpet, while Luna shifted nervously.

"Well, goodnight, Lucius." Luna finally said and turned to leave but then, after a moment's hesitation, she backtracked and hugged the Malfoy patriarch tightly. "Take care." She said as she rubbed his cheeks affectionately and then she disappeared into the fireplace.

**000**

**Luna POV**

That was the most horrible thing I have ever done; the look on all their faces when I told them Harry was gone... it shattered me. Hermione wept and Ron threatened to hex me if I didn't take him to Harry but lucky for me, Neville and Hermione stopped him. However, Neville has not spoken to me in a week.

Sirius and Remus were very hurt; they were like fathers to Harry...I think they felt betrayed because Harry didn't confide in them. Sirius had kept quiet for a long time before he broke into tears while Remus just frowned, silently rubbing circles on Sirius' back. And when I gave them Harry's wand- as he had requested- that only made Sirius cry harder. They didn't ask me to take them to Harry though, for which I am glad... Sirius can be as scary as hell when it comes to Harry's wellbeing and I think they understood that Harry needed this.

Draco was the worst; he looked devastated... he begged me to take him to Harry and undo the spell and when I said no, his wild magic shattered every breakable item in his study. He looked very terrifying when he jabbed his wand into my neck and promised to rain curses on me but then suddenly, he was crying... all I could do was hold him and cry too.

I sigh as I water some of the plants that Neville had planted in my garden; I'm angry at myself as well... Harry came to me because he knew the others wouldn't let him go, they would have tried to get him help... but what I did was helpful, wasn't it?

***FLASHBACK***

"Harry, I don't think I can." I said to him.

Harry looked really tired, like he hasn't slept in days; Sirius had been worried about him since he didn't come back after he left Grimmuald Place two days ago. "Please." Harry begged. "I can't take it anymore... I need to forget-"

"But this isn't the way, Harry." I interrupted, angry. "This is cowardly... you should at least talk to Lucius."

"And then what, I live a life and pain and guilt? Everything goes back to normal?" Harry shook his head. "I have nothing to say to him." He sat on my sofa and ran his fingers through his hair. "Please Luna... please... I don't want this anymore... please, I can't bear it..." His voice broke at the last word and he started to sob. "H-help me."

I could help Harry... I could make him forget... he may be a bit confused but he'll have the life he always wanted... if I guide him.

"Fine." I said lowly and Harry looked up. "But I will be keeping an eye on you." Harry nodded. "And you have to write to the others... it's only fair." Harry nodded again. "Where are you going to stay?"

"While I was away, I purchased a house in the states... I cleared out my account at Gringotts, so I have all that I need... I'll give you the address if you don't tell the others where I live... I don't want them to look for me... especially Sirius... tell Lucius and Draco to forget about me and move on... tell everyone that I'm sorry... especially to you Luna; I know you don't want to do this... but I need it; you may break the spell _only_ if it is a matter of life and death... and there is no other way... otherwise, don't. "

I was a bit angry that he would even leave his father out of this but I kept quiet and nodded; I could say no now but that would mean he would suffer and he's been through enough.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Harry." I said, I could not help but tear up a little.

Harry smiled back at me and got up. "It's better this way." He wiped the tear that gathered at the corner of my eye. He made to pull away but I hugged him; we weren't that close in Hogwarts but Harry always acted like my brother... this situation only made me realise how distant we were. Harry pulled back, he was crying as well. "Now, I need a quill and some parchment." He said shakily and tried to smile.

***END FLASHBACK***

"Luna." I jumped at the voice and turned, effectively spraying Neville with water.

"Oh my God, Nev I'm so sorry." I gushed and turned off the tap. "You startled me."

"Sorry about that." Neville blushed and cast a drying spell on his clothes. "Why don't you use magic?" he gestured towards the hose in my hand.

I shrugged. "This way I can think." I said lowly.

We were both silent as I turned the tap back on and continued my work.

"I'm still angry about what you did." He said after a while and I paused at the bed of roses. "But now, I understand... you were trying to help him..."

I turned back to him and nodded. "Yes... I admit it was not the best path but he really wanted it."

Neville nodded. "For that, I thank you; I have a feeling things will work out great this time." He said. "Though, I would steer clear of Ron... he's not very happy with you."

I nodded too with a sigh. "I know." I said and turned to face him. "But what made you forgive me?"

Neville blinked rapidly. "I... um... well... I... um... um..." He sputtered and blushed while I waited.

Neville suddenly walked up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist; He leaned in and kissed me slowly and I started, surprised but then I melted into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. This means the hose I was holding was spraying water down on us like a makeshift rain and I loved it.

We pulled apart, wet and panting. "What took you so long?" I asked with a sly grin.

Neville blushed even more and smiled warmly at me. "I have no idea." He said and then looked up. "We're soaking wet."

"Hm-mm." I hummed and leaned closer. "Do you have a problem with it?"

Neville's smile increased and he tucked a wet lock of hair behind my ear. "With you here... never."

We kissed again.

**000**

**EPILOGUE**

**000**

**Two Years Later...**

Rodney Holt stepped off the train and smiled; he was finally in Paris. The brunet could not believe he was finally here, he had been saving for this for a long time.

Rodney took in a deep breath, savouring the fresh air and then turned to look for his co-travellers.

"Harry?" Someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Harry, is that you?" Rodney turned and found himself face to face with a beautiful blonde.

"I... I'm sorry." Rodney said, a bit smittened. "You must have mistaken me for somebody else."

The blonde shook his head. "It's me... Draco."

Rodney looked at him understandingly. "I don't remember you; I had an accident about two years ago so I don't remember much." He said. "We may have met but my name is Rodney, not Harry." The brunet tried his best to smile.

"No, it's you." Draco said and took a step closer. "I'd recognise you from anywhere."

Rodney took a step back, a bit frightened. "Like I said, we may know each other but-"

Draco suddenly grabbed his arm. "You're here." He whispered and squeezed the arm a bit. "You're really here."

"Look, I don't want any trouble." Rodney said and tugged on the grip that held him but it would not budge. "Let me go." He tugged harder, desperate.

"No." The blonde said. "Not this time... Luna is going to fix you and then-"

"Let go of him this instant." A voice growled dangerously behind Draco, causing him to stiffen and a moment later, turn around.

Two men stood behind him; one was a bit muscular, with dark hair and a barely seen shadow around his jaw, the other was not very muscular but was as tall as a building, towering over Draco and glaring daggers at him, his long hair was darker than the other's and gave him a sort of youthful look.

"Dean, Sam!" Rodney cried out in relief.

"Let him go or you'll regret taking this train." Sam, snarled.

Draco stared at them for a while before he let go of Rodney and looked on as the brunet walked quickly into Sam's arms and allowed himself to be held.

"Did he hurt you?" Dean asked, still glaring at Draco who glared back.

"No." Rodney shook his head as Sam looked him over. "It was just a misunderstanding." He said.

"Perhaps he should be going." Sam snapped at Draco and put a protective arm around Rodney.

Breaking eye contact with Dean, Draco nodded. "Perhaps I should." He said curtly and then looked down at Rodney. "I'm sorry I startled you... you just look like someone that went missing a few years back." He finished softly.

Rodney nodded and gave a small smile. "It's alright." He said lowly.

With a stiff nod to Dean and Sam, Draco slowly walked away, his gaze lingering on the brunet in the giant's arms.

The trio kept watching the blonde and when he was far enough, Dean growled. "Fucking psycho."

Sam sighed and hugged Rodney again. "I'm not leaving you alone again."

Rodney sighed. "I'm fine." He said; The Winchester brothers always babied him, he did not mind it but he wished they would let him fend for himself once in a while.

"We were gone for like two minutes and we came back to some dick holding you in a death grip." Dean said matter-of-factly. "Who knows what he would have done to you if we didn't get here when we did."

"I can take care of myself." Rodney said. "I was just caught off guard... he looks... he looks very familiar." He said in a distant voice and Sam rubbed his arm in sympathy.

"And by familiar, I'm sure you mean supermodel familiar." Dean said, looking in the blonde's direction with a stupid smile. "Sweet Jesus, I'd go gay for that any day." Sam glared at his brother, who in turn cleared his throat. "But the point is, we need a way to keep you safe." He amended quickly.

Sam nodded and looked down at Rodney. "Perhaps we should let the others know you are off limits." He said in a sultry voice and then leaned in to kiss the smaller man, who groaned and wrapped his arms around Sam's neck as he was lifted up a bit from the ground.

Dean made a face. "We could have just taught him how to use a gun, you know." He grumbled. "Alright love birds, break it up... this is the only holiday I've got and I'm not gonna let you ruin it by dry humping in public." Dean said.

Sam placed his boyfriend down and Rodney blushed brightly, "OW! What did I say!" but then he laughed when Sam cuffed his brother's head.

**000**

**Draco POV**

It was father and Severus' wedding anniversary and as a good son, I have to attend; my arse ached in the uncomfortable train seat, I'll sue the station for every penny they've got- that'll teach them to mess up my booking.

The train finally stops and I almost burst into singing 'Amazing Grace'; I get off the train and spot one of father's assistant who has come to welcome me and take me home. I give him the description of my luggage and wait under a shade.

I wonder what Harry is doing now, I hope he's okay; but I should probably stop thinking about him, father moved on, why can't I?

"We'll go get the suitcases." I hear what was definitely an American accent shout at someone and I scoff. Why can't they just stay in their country?

I looked up to see who the banshees are and then my heart most likely skipped a beat; across the platform, stepping out of the train was Harry bloody Potter. I don't know what possessed me but suddenly, my feet were taking me towards the brunet; I had to make sure I was not going mad, it must be Harry, he must be here.

"Harry?" I tapped him on the shoulder when I was close enough. "Harry, is that you?" He turned around and I found myself staring at those beautiful green eyes.

"I... I'm sorry." Harry said with a shake of his head. "You must have mistaken me for somebody else."

I shook my head in disbelief. "It's me... Draco." I said, trying to jug some memory- Luna could not have _completely_ Obliviated him.

Harry looked me with... was that sympathy? "I don't remember you; I had an accident about two years ago so I don't remember much." He said. "We may have met but my name is Rodney, not Harry." The brunet tried his best to smile.

"No, it's you." I said and took a step closer. "I'd recognise you from anywhere." Every movement and expression screamed Harry- I should know, I spied on him.

Harry frowned and took a step back, he looked frightened. "Like I said, we may know each other but-"

Scared that he would run, I suddenly grabbed his arm. "You're here." Saying those words made my heart flutter and I had to squeeze his arm a bit to make sure this wasn't a dream. "You're really here."

"Look, I don't want any trouble." Harry said and tugged on the grip that held him. "Let me go." He tugged harder, desperate- that was understandable: not many strangers can hold me the way I'm holding Harry without losing a few teeth.

"No." I said- I was not going to lose him again. "Not this time... Luna is going to fix you and then-"

"Let go of him this instant." A voice growled dangerously behind me, interrupting my conversation; I felt the hair at the back of my neck rise and a moment later, I turned around.

Two men stood behind me; one was a bit muscular, with dark hair and a barely seen shadow around his jaw, the other was not very muscular but was as tall as a building, towering over us and glaring daggers at me, his long hair was darker than the other's and gave him a sort of youthful look.

"Dean, Sam!" Harry cried out in relief; the newcomer's eyes flickered to Harry for a second when their name was called.

"Let him go or you'll regret taking this train." The tall one, Sam, snarled.

I could practically taste the rage coming off them, especially Sam- these men would not think twice about smashing me to a pulp; I let go of Harry and looked on as the brunet walked quickly into Sam's arms and allowed himself to be held.

"Did he hurt you?" The first one, Dean, asked, still glaring at me, I glared back; how dare they think I would hurt him!

"No." Harry shook his head as Sam looked him over; envy nipped at my heart when, from the corner of my eye, I saw Sam cup Harry's cheek to look at him well. "It was just a misunderstanding." Harry said.

"Perhaps he should be going." Sam snapped at me and put a protective arm around Harry.

Breaking eye contact with Dean, I nodded. "Perhaps I should." I said curtly and then looked down at Harry. "I'm sorry I startled you... you just look like someone that went missing a few years back." I finished softly- what else could I say after practically assaulting someone.

Harry nodded and gave me a smile, it was the shy smile he'd give when I made inappropriate innuendos. "It's alright." He said lowly.

With a stiff nod to Sam and Dean, and one last look at Harry, I slowly walked away; it felt wrong walking away but Harry looked happy and that was the point of him leaving, right?

My father's assistants were waiting for me under the shade and I dismissed them; I can find my way to the villa and besides, I need to think and cool off before I snap at a Weasley. I was angry the day father and Severus announced their engagement; yes, I was happy for Severus but I could not believe that father would just forget Harry after just one year of his absence... then my angry cooled down- it was Harry's wish for him to be happy... besides, who am I to come in between love?

"Malfoy?" A stunned voice made me sigh- I'm not ready to face another journalist. "_The_ Draco Malfoy!" They are in France too! These annoying reporters have been pestering me about Harry's disappearance.

"Look, I'm not in the mood to answer questions." I stated firmly but not rudely.

"Questions?" The voice sounded confused, I really don't have time to waste on amateur reporters; I turned to tell off the idiot but paused when I saw another dark haired Gryffindor.

"Oh, Wood." I said. "It's nice to see you again."

Oliver Wood smile brightly at me; I don't remember much about Wood, I know he was once captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team in Hogwarts but that's it. "Merlin, Draco... you've grown." He said.

I couldn't help but blush as the older man ran his eyes over my body. "Well, that's what people tend to do." I said, my nose high.

"And I think you're a testament to that." He said heavily and I blushed again.

"May I help you with something?" I asked, trying to forget about my reddened face.

Oliver chuckled a bit. "No, nothing really." He said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Just saw you and wanted to say hi; I'm here for a match... maybe after the game, we can catch up over lunch tomorrow."

I blinked and cocked my head bemused- did he just ask me out?

Oliver, however, seemed oblivious to my shock. "Unless you prefer Quidditch instead." He continued.

"I don't think that's a good idea..." I started to say.

"Come on, it's one Quidditch game." Oliver said. "But if Potter has traumatised you with all the butt-kicking he's given you, then we can do lunch."

"Hey!" I protested; why would he bring up Harry when I am trying to forget him and to add insult to injury, he's bashing my Quidditch skills. "I'm just a good as Harry." I said with a dramatic fold of my arms and a glare.

"Then, it's settled." Oliver said and clapped his hand once. "I'll see you on the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch tomorrow at two."

"You bet your galleons I'll be there." I said with sly smile but then it faded- I haven't smiled like that in a while... too busy thinking about Harry.

Oliver's voice pulls me out of my reverie. "Try not to be late, gorgeous." He gave me a wink and walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the train station with a look on my face that screamed "What the fuck!"

Oliver was obviously trying- and by my reactions, succeeding- to flirt with me; I haven't given anyone else much thought since Harry but I guess I can try. I mean Oliver is good-looking, talented and brave- just like Har- I shook my head, I have to stop thinking about him, I should at least give Oliver a chance.

If Harry and father could move on, then I guess I can too. Perhaps I can learn to let go.

_**A/N:**__ you like? You don't like?... tell me...I'll post the next one as soon as I can... I still have some more projects to submit before the semester is over... review!_


	26. Chapter 27

_Ending 3 already... it seems just like yesterday I was posting up the first chapter of this story, not sure if it was gonna be read... so far, I am grateful to you all for reading... I did a research essay on why mostly heterosexual women read and write slash fiction and it was eye-opening to say the least... it was hell before I was able to finish it though... at this rate, I'm happy with a 60 percent..._

_I would like to thank __**dan8**__**, **__**MarquasNoir97**__, __**Annabeth Volturi, **__**asiacheetah**__, __**Ele, Jules and ANON **__for their reviews... it's the highest I've gotten so far for a chapter... so if you haven't reviewed in a while, take these guys' example and tell me what you think..._

**Warning:** this chapter contains graveyards, rings, punching, wands and lemony time (haven't had that in a while).

**The lemon in this chapter has been edited... go to the link on my profile to view an unedited version...**

ENDING 3: WHAT THE HEART WANTS

A lone figure looked down at the ring in his palm; it's wide platinum band gleamed brightly in the setting sun and the tiny emerald in the middle looked like a verdant eye. The last time he was at Godric's Hollow was when he was searching for the Horcruxes; that day had been a horrible day for him... just like today.

Harry Potter sat on the ground beside his daughter's tombstone; He ran his fingers down the side of the expensive marble and then gently touched the golden plaque that read,

_Here lies_

_Lily Helena Potter-Malfoy_

_So beautiful, so young_

Harry held the ring in his hand tightly; a tear escaped his eyes and he wiped it off with unnecessary force. "I'm so sorry, baby..." he voice broke at the last word and he cried. He felt sorry for so many things; kissing Draco, breaking Lucius' heart and most importantly, Lily's death.

The brunet did not know what else to say, he just cried on the tombstone; he did not move when six figures approached him, he did not flinch when one of those figures held him tightly and he did not question why he was burying his face in the stranger's chest.

Ron, Neville, Remus, Sirius and Luna watched solemnly as Hermione held Harry; only Hermione, Ron, Remus, Luna, Neville and the Malfoys came for Lily's burial and now they can mourn as a full family. Ron approached the shaking form in Hermione's arms and wrapped his arms around his wife and best friend; Luna, who was weeping as well, allowed Neville to rub her back in comfort, Remus remained silent as Sirius placed a bouquet of lavender, lilies and red roses at the foot of the tombstone.

After almost thirty minutes, Hermione and Ron coaxed Harry to his feet and then stepped aside for Sirius to hug his son. "We're here, cub." He cooed. "Shush, it's okay." He rubbed small circles on the hiccupping back.

Harry's crying reducing to silent weeping and he settled for the comforting silence of being held by his father.

**000**

**A day later...**

That night Lucius Malfoy waited nervously in his study; he was wondering what Harry could be thinking about him. _He must see me as a monster... how do I start... where do I start from... I wish Harry had remembered that first morning so I wouldn't have to be this damn anxious... Oh Severus..._

Lucius had been thinking of Severus since the day they kissed; he still wanted a life with the man but hell would freeze over before he would let Harry suffer again but he highly doubt that Harry would want him.

As if on cue, the fireplace roared and glowed green; Harry stepped out awkwardly from the embers and stared at the blonde. He was angry, sad, confused and... so many emotions he had no words for but he knew feelings will get him nowhere.

"Harry, how are-" Lucius started.

Harry raised a hand to silence him. "I would prefer it if we just cut to the chase." He said coolly.

Lucius nodded and watched carefully as Harry made his way across the room and sat on the couch that faced the fireplace before he sat by his desk. They sat in absolute silence as they both thought of what to say to the other.

"How could you." Harry said lowly. "I thought you going to always be there for me... what happened?"

Lucius sighed, he had been expecting that question. "Harry, I don't kno-"

"Don't you dare!" Harry hissed. "You are Lucius_ bloody_ Malfoy; you have the answers the everything... if this is just to spare my feelings, that boat left when you kicked me out."

Lucius sighed again. "I always knew about Draco's attraction to you... I think at some time after our truce, he noticed my attraction for you as well because he was becoming more and more amorous."

"So that's it?" Harry hissed. "It was just some competition between father and son to see who can lay the-boy-who-lived?"

Lucius shook his head. "No, no... oh God, this is coming out wrong." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yes, at some point it might have turned into a competition but it was unintentional... all we wanted was a chance at your affection."

"That doesn't explain your actions." Harry scoffed.

Lucius nodded. "When I finally had you, I had my suspicions that Draco might still pursue you... I pushed back the thought; I told myself that you would never do that to me." Harry's smirk faded at that. "When I came home and saw both of you together... it broke my heart; all my fears coming to pass... I decided to break it off with you immediately before you broke my heart any further."

They were silent once again as the new information sunk in.

"You should have let me explain." Harry said lowly.

"I thought you would explain why you might not want me anymore." Lucius said with a tired sigh. "It does not excuse what I have done, I know that... but I can never express how deeply and truly sorry I am, Harry."

Silence again.

Lucius' head hung low as Harry spoke. "At first when you told me to leave, I hated you; if you had allowed me to explain, none of this shit would have happened... I wouldn't have left, I wouldn't have gotten attacked... I could have been holding Lily in my arms now... but most especially I hated myself." The blonde whipped up his head. "I broke your heart and trust... after everything you did for me; you took me in and loved me... you had every right to throw me away... I would have understood." A tear escaped his eye. "I'm sorry, Luc... for everything."

Lucius got up and walked towards Harry. "I did not want to throw you away." He kneeled before Harry and wiped his tear away. "I know I hurt you... I broke my promise... if you are willing to give me another chance, I am yours." He took both of Harry's hands and kissed them.

Harry could only stare at him; he would not mind fixing things with Lucius... but things would not be the same as it was and to top it off, his heart did not belong to Lucius.

"Or are you in love with Draco?" Lucius asked when Harry was silent for a long time; deep down, he wished for Harry to say yes, that would allow him to be with Severus without any guilt.

Harry bit his lips, unsure of what to say; he may have told Draco he had feelings for him but now, he has no idea... Draco did as he promised, he opened his eyes and showed him that he was making a mistake with Lucius but at the end, he may have lost Harry as well. Harry then remembered the ring; he brought it out of his pocket. "Did you mean this?" he asked as he showed the ring to Lucius.

Lucius blinked at the ring, he had forgotten about that; when he had proposed to Harry, he meant it then but now, he was unsure. "Yes, I did." He said carefully.

Harry noticed the use of past tense and sighed. "I'm sorry, Luc." He said, he opened one of Lucius' large palms and placed the ring in it. "I can't marry you." He finished lowly.

"I understand." Lucius said as he closed his hand around the ring and looked down, ashamed that he could stir such hatred in a person... that, and he was also ashamed that he was relieved that Harry turned him down.

Harry raised Lucius' face to look into his eyes. "I don't hate you, Luc... You did nothing wrong." He said. "It's just that this whole event has opened my eyes... it would never work; there's too much pain and guilt for it to be healthy."

Lucius nodded. "If you're sure, then I agree with you."

Harry smiled a little. "Thank you for wanting to marry me even though you loved someone else."

Lucius stared in horror at Harry. "How?"

Harry shrugged. "It's obvious Severus has feeling for you; he hides it well but if you look closely, you can see that bitter mask of his crumble around you... you bring out the best in him... and he, you."

"Harry, I-"

"It's okay, Lucius." Harry said warmly. "The first time you expressed your wish to court me, you told me that you have lost so much and gained so little... I will not sit back and watch your life turn to shit because you feel it's your duty to marry me... even though it was very chivalrous of you."

Lucius watched with reverence and awe at how Harry was so quick to forgive and understand. "Thank you, Harry... I am forever in you debt."

Harry laughed. "Now you sound like you were disgusted with the idea of marrying me."

Lucius sat beside Harry and smiled a little. "Disgust is not the word I was use."

Harry laughed louder and then turned serious again. "Either way, I'm sorry I did not realise sooner that I was not for you."

Lucius pulled Harry towards his chest and held him. "So am I." He said. "I just hope we can at the very least stay friends."

Harry snuggled deeper into Lucius' chest. "You will always hold a place in my heart, Lucius... it may be a small corner but no one else will be able to fill it."

Lucius' heart warmed at that, he kissed Harry on the head and temple. "Thank you."

**000**

**The Next Day...**

**Draco POV**

It has been about two days since I got my letter from Sirius saying Harry was well; I expected Harry to come yesterday to probably kick my arse for what I did to him, instead he had gone to see father. I took a sip from my tumbler of firewhiskey and sighed- I really need to stop drinking.

I laid on the couch in my study; father and I have not spoken to each other for a while now... that might be due to old wounds being opened- this whole amnesia thing has pushed both of us to our breaking points.

"Malfoy!" a voice rang out, making me jump which in turn made the glass in my hand slip and pour all its contents on my newshirt... _again_- I had worn that shirt to impress Harry.

"Bloody hell!" I cursed and jumped off the couch ready to bite off a few heads. My tirade stopped when I spotted an enraged Harry by the door.

Harry marched towards me and before I could say another word, a punch landed on my jaw, followed by another to my abdomen and a kick to my knee. "That was for kissing me." Harry growled; he then pulled me towards him and kissed me so harshly, our teeth knocked against each other... was that supposed to happen? "That was making me see the truth." He said when he pulled back.

I smiled; that means Harry and father were no longer- OW! Harry punched me again. "What was that for!" I cried and rubbed bruised jaw.

"For actually smiling!" Harry retorted. Okay, I deserved that. Harry stomped towards the sofa and sighed as he sat on it.

"I'm sorry." I only realised the words left my mouth when Harry looked up.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"For causing you pain." I said solemnly.

Harry shook his head and rubbed the bridge if his nose. "Shut up, you arse." I obeyed; I have no idea what state of mine Harry is in. "I saw her grave... never in a million years did I think I would lose someone so early after the war."

I sighed and started for the cushion beside Harry but a glare made me detour to the armchair instead. "It was my fault." I said.

"Yes, it was." Harry growled. "But I'm the biggest culprit... Lily suffered because of me and my selfishness."

"Harry, I didn't know you were with her when I kissed you." I said in a gush of air. "If I did, I-"

"You wouldn't have kissed me." Harry finished. "You may be a prick but I know you aren't that heartless... that's why I say I'm the one to blame; I knew I was with her... what did I expect was going to happen: I leave Luc and then you raise her?

"It's all me... no matter how many people say I wasn't to blame, I know better." Harry completed with a sigh. "But I must thank you." I blinked: huh? "You showed me that I was making a mistake- there were alternative ways to show me but at the end, you stopped me from doing something I may have regretted."

Great, now I feel guilty. "I may have wanted to woo you but Harry, I didn't mean to-"

"I know, Draco." Harry said. "I'm not angry anymore... well, I am but not as angry as you expect me to be."

We stayed in silence.

"That means this could never work." He said.

I shook my head. "I'm not giving up that easy on you." I said, standing up. "I've worked my ass off for you and now, I'm not backing off."

"But think of it, Draco." Harry reasoned. "How will this ever work? If I do stay with you and perhaps we marry, you'll be the stepfather of your dead half-sister!"

I rolled my eyes; trust Harry to say the unthinkable. "I can live with that." I said.

Harry scoffed. "Perhaps you can but I cannot." He said. "We can't be together... just accept it, Draco... please, instead of drawing it out." He looked down at his trembling hands.

I sigh and went to sit by him; I turned his face up to meet mine and our eyes met. The sorrow in those beautiful emerald eyes turned my heart to mush, to think I caused that. My hand slowly left his chin to cup his face- just like I did the first time he came to the manor after he woke up- and I leaned in slowly, he wasn't complaining so I continued, stopping only when I was a hair's breath away- this time, it was Harry's decision if I kiss him or not.

Harry seemed confused; I understood he was torn between his duty to his daughter and his feelings but I know somewhere down there he loves me. After moments, Harry reached up suddenly and our lips met in a sweet kiss; I could not pick a happier moment that is, until Harry pulled away.

"I-I can't." He said, shaking his head.

"I'm not saying you should." I said as gently as possible. "But I want you to think about this, Harry... I'll wait; I can wait for you."

When Harry looked at me again, those sad eyes were now welling up with tears. "Why are you doing this?" he asked in a small voice.

I leaned forward so our foreheads were touching. "Because I love you." I said with a smile. "Keep up, will you."

Harry smiled at that as well but then it faded. "You can wait if you want, Draco but what if I realise that I really don't love you, like it's just attraction or lust?"

I gave the infamous Malfoy smirk. "Then come and say it to my face." I said. "I can't stay celibate forever."

That did not make Harry smile like I wanted, however, he reached up and placed the smallest of kisses on my cheek. "Thank you, Draco." He said and stood up. "I'll get back to you soon."

"You better." I said. Why did this feel like a goodbye? "Take care, okay?"

Harry nodded and started for my door; I didn't stop him like I wanted to, I don't need to, he'll come back- for better or worse, he'll come back.

**000**

**Later that night...**

All Severus had to do was let Remus' potion simmer for an hour; he had made sure to throw himself into his work, if it would mean not thinking about Lucius. Yesterday, his curiosity got the best of him and unfortunately, he had seen Lucius thank Potter for something and then kiss him. He felt like a fool; _why would a Malfoy want to associate himself with someone of the likes of me? I'm the worthless friend who does all the work and never gets rewarded at the end... I'm one of those characters in a book that stands back and watches as everyone gets their happy ending._

Severus felt a hand on his shoulder and he whipped out his wand with a speed that would have Harry sputtering.

"Calm down, Sev." The intruder said, putting up his hands. "It's me."

"Don't do that, Lucius." Severus growled and lowered his wand. "I could have killed you."

"Well, I have been calling your name for the past ten minutes." Lucius said matter-of-factly. "You could fall off the edge and not notice until you hit the ground."

The potions master had been alone in the astronomy tower at Hogwarts; he and Lucius had spent most of their time here- it was in the astronomy tower that Severus' crush on the blonde turned into love and was also where his world shattered as Lucius declared he was betrothed to Narcissa.

Severus blinked at the blonde and gracefully turned back to the landscape below. "I was thinking."

Lucius made a sound to show he acknowledged the answer and came to stand beside Severus. "We came up here a lot, didn't we; it seems like yesterday we were plotting to stuff slugs into Lestrang's pudding on Valentine's day."

"Merlin, that was genius." Severus chuckled. "He was like, 'Mommy!'." Both men laughed loudly at the memory and clutched their sides. "He never got a date for the dance... We couldn't stop laughing!"

Lucius scoffed. "You mean _you_ couldn't stop laughing." He amended. "We would have gotten away with it if your laughter were a tad lower that the rest of the hall."

Severus smirked. "Well, excuse me for appreciating such a comedic performance by our fellow Slytherin."

Lucius shook his head and they both continued to look out silently until the blonde spoke again. "I want to tell you somethi-"

"I don't want to hear it." Severus interrupted, his happy countenance, gone.

Lucius blinked. "But-"

"I know already." Severus said. "The bond showed me."

"What?"

Severus rolled his eyes and thrust his hand into his pocket. "We have a bond." He explained. The potions master produced a greenish potion and gave it to Lucius. "Just a sip." He instructed.

Lucius looked at the potion suspiciously but obeyed; the effect of the potion was immediate, he could see a thin golden thread streaming out of Severus' chest and flowing into his. The blonde took a step back and the thread lengthened.

"What is that?" Lucius asked.

"That is the Brothir Bondi or the Brother Bond." Severus explained. "It's Old Norse; I don't know when it appeared but I suspect it was when you declared me your brother, the day you announced your engagement to Narcissa.

"That's why sometimes you can feel if I'm in trouble and I can see what you are doing and thinking from a great distance away- it's a powerful bond." Severus finished.

Lucius was silent for a moment as he allowed the new information to sink in. "Is it supposed to be so thin?" he asked finally.

"No," was Severus' reply. "It got thinner fairly quickly after the day we..." he trailed off. "We no longer see ourselves as brothers anymore... well, not as strongly as we did before... the bond is weakening."

"Oh." Lucius said. They were silent so the only sound was the whistle of the night breeze as it zipped by and flapped their robes. "Would you be opposed if I said I don't want us to be brothers anymore."

Severus stiffened at that and then he grew angry. "I see, your little _fiancé_ could not stand me being around, could he?"

Lucius shook his head. "No, it's not-"

"Does he now recognise me as a potential threat?" Severus continued without pause. "Or is it you?"

"Severus please-"

But the potions master continued. "You'd rather have the saviour of the Wizarding world warming your bed than to be seen with a bitter, old humph-" Severus' eyes almost grew twice its size when Lucius abruptly kissed him, silencing him.

Lucius pulled away for a moment to say two words, "Shut up." before he dove back in for another kiss; this time Severus wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck and deepened the kiss. He growled when Lucius pushed him harshly against the wall and proceeded to kiss every inch of the pallid neck while his hand massaged the potions master through his clothes.

Severus' eyes widened and he pushed Lucius away from him. "I...am not... your... whore!" he growled between breathes, his face flush. "You can't marry Potter and then fuck me on the side... I'm not your concubine."

Lucius sighed. "Severus listen-"

"Go fuck yourself, you... you... _prat_!" Severus righted his robes and started for the door but Lucius grabbed his arm and held him. "Let me go."

"No."

Soon both men were wrestling for the door; however, Lucius managed to pin Severus to the floor. The potions master punched the aristocrat above him, which only resulted in both of his arms pinned above his head and the blonde straddling his hips.

"Why can't you just leave me alone!" Severus yelled. "Go away! You have him now so leave me be!"

Lucius ignored the thin trail of blood that ran from the corner of his lips and sighed. "Severus listen..." The potions master continued to struggle. "You're wrong." Still struggling. "Harry and I are done." That caught Severus' attention. "I want to be with you forever."

"But I saw you make up with Potter." Severus said as he stared. "You... you said you don't want us to be brothers-"

"Because I want us to be more than that." Lucius said matter-of-factly. "Harry and I have reconciled our differences and moved on... I love you." Severus continued to stare. "I know I caused you a lot of pain and I'm sorry... if you wish, I want us to court each other." The potions master stared. "Well, what do you say?" Severus stared. "Severus?" Lucius shook the man's shoulder a bit but he continued to stare. "Sev? Can you hear-" Lucius did not predict Severus kissing him but he happily returned it.

With a loud pop, Lucius suddenly found himself in a dark room with Severus pinned under him on a bed. "Eager, are we?" he asked.

Severus smirked and kissed the blonde above him again, slowly this time; his hands rested on Lucius' firm chest while the blonde ran his hand down his abdomen and unto his thigh, deliberately missing the bulge.

"Tease." Severus growled and suddenly, Lucius found himself on his back with a smirking potions master on his hips. Severus kissed Lucius more urgently now and unbuttoned his shirt after he had discarded on the offending robes; the brunet kissed the now exposed neck, worshipping it with nips and licks.

"Hm Severus." Lucius moaned when a warm tongue licked the shell of his ear; he thrusted upwards and his clothed erection grinded against the potions master's causing him to groan.

Lucius took that moment to roll Severus unto his back again. "Bastard." Severus growled and glared at Lucius but the blonde gave the Malfoy smirk and proceeded to divest Severus of his clothing, kissing him breathless at regular intervals to distract the potions master.

When Severus was fully naked, he smile at the hard member and then up at its owner. "Very eager indeed." He mused.

Severus glared. "Stop being an arse and- oh Merlin!" The potions master's eyes rolled to the back of his head as Lucius took him into his mouth; he tried not to gag when Severus started to buck into his warm cavern and moaned when Severus pulled on his hair. "So close." With a few more thrusts, Severus spilt his seed into Lucius mouth and the blonde did not have any qualms swallowing the come and milking the potions master.

The limp member fell out of Lucius' mouth with a small pop and Lucius pulled Severus up by his hair and kissed him fiercely, sharing the taste of his lover. He put his fingers up to Severus' lips. "Suck." He instructed thickly and the potions master obeyed. Lucius used that time to slowly stroke Severus back to his former hardness before he removed his fingers from the mouth and slowly pushed one into Severus.

"Nhnn." Severus growled and hissed in pain.

"Shssh." Lucius cooed and placed a small kiss on his temple. When Severus was comfortable, he added another finger and another, and soon there were four fingers thrusting in and out of the potions master's taunt body. The fingers were searching for that small bundle of nerves when suddenly Severus arched off the bed and yelled in pleasure. Lucius watched with a small smile- the usually calm potions master losing control and making those noises, it was the most erotic thing Lucius had seen.

Lucius pulled his fingers out and chuckled lowly at Severus' whine, he removed his trousers and lined himself up at the entrance before he slowing sunk himself into the tight heat. Severus sighed at the fullness while Lucius sighed at the warmth.

When Severus gave the okay, Lucius pulled out and pushed back in again slowly; it had taken them almost three decades to finally be this intimate with each other, he was not going to rush their first time. Severus wrapped his legs around Lucius' waist and they looked into each other's eyes as they made love; the potions master, however, broke eye contact and yelled in pleasure when Lucius started to stroke him in time with his thrusts. "Luc!"

"Severus." The thrusts then got faster, deeper, more urgent as Lucius neared his climax. The blonde came inside the potions master just as Severus member spat his seed all over their belly. Lucius collapsed on Severus and held him close as they both came down from their high. "I love you, Sev."

"Love you too, Luc." They gave each other a sweet kiss and a cleaning spell later, they were both faster asleep, oblivious to Remus' potion burning in its cauldron.

_**A/N:**__ yeah I figured that with all Severus and Lucius went through, they deserved a lemon... yes, I repeated most of what happened in ending one but give me a break, I've been through hell this month... yes, there will be an epilogue for this chapter which I will post next time... it will be a while before I update next, I have an exam coming up on the first so I gotta study... see ya when I see ya... don't forget to review on which ever website you are on!_


	27. Chapter 28

_Hiya... the last chapter!...OMG after this, the story is finito... I want to cry and shout for joy at the same time... my exams went great but my stupid literature lecturer gave me a horrible mark for my final project... so now I'm not sure if I'm gonna get the high mark I have been working towards all year... none the less, I thank all those who wished me luck with my exams... _

_I would like to thank __**dan8**__**, **__**MarquasNoir97**__**,**__** Annabeth Volturi, **__**asiacheetah**__**, **__**Jules and**____**HeratsGlow**__... you all keep me going..._

_**NOTICE:**__ I know most of you are going to skip the above note and will probably skip the note below as well but __**please read the note below**__... important news of upcoming fanfics will be talked about there... I have also posted a challenge for you on my profile… for the last time, enjoy!_

**Warning: **this chapter contains mirrors, ties, closets, wine and sturdy desks.

EPILOGUE 3

_Thoughts_

_**Conscience**_

**Two years later...**

As much as Draco was happy Severus and his father were finally getting married, he felt hollow; it has been two years, seven months, three weeks and twelve days since Harry walked out of his study, promising to return. He had heard that Harry went to the states, probably to think without any distractions.

Draco sighed and adjusted his tie; the wedding was in three hours, he had to make sure everything was in order and then help his father not make a mess of himself- even though he is a Malfoy, he was just as susceptible to wedding jitters like any other witch or wizard.

Gemmy popped into the study with a scroll. "Master Draco the flower be coming for wedding." She squealed happily.

Draco smiled and took the list from her. "Thank you, Gem. Make sure its arranged the way I told you."

The house elf bowed. "Yes sir." And with a pop, she was gone.

Draco's smile faded and he sighed again; he looked down at the scroll but did not read it because he was thinking.

_This is my father's wedding; he is finally marrying his soul mate, why can't I be happy. _

_**If you miss Harry so much then go look for him.**_

_I can't do that._

_**Then stop whining, he promised to come back... give him time.**_

Draco sighed again; as much as he hated that annoying voice in his head, it was right; he should be smiling with his head held high like a proud father. He looked into the mirror and adjusted his tie once again before he plastered his face with the brightest smile he could conjure.

"Pfft please you're not fooling anyone with that smile." A voice rang smugly behind him.

Draco's heart stopped beating for a second and he froze; he can't be dreaming of that voice again today of all days.

"Draco?"

Said man clenched his hands, trying to will the voice to go away; he cannot keep thinking of Harry, he will come back when he feels like it.

A hand took his gently. "Draco."

The blonde opened his eyes and turned to the person beside him which resulted in his eyes widening; Harry Potter stood in his formal attire, his hair was slightly longer and his frame was better than the skinny body he left with but other than that, he had not changed much.

Green eyes held concern. "Draco, it's me."

"Harry." Draco whispered and stepped closer to him. "You came back." He reached out to touch the brunet but thought twice and withdrew his hand.

Those emerald eyes seemed to sparkle with mirth as Harry chuckled. "Of course I came back." He said. "I always keep my promises, besides I wouldn't miss Luc's wedding for the world."

Draco smiled, genuinely this time. "How are you, Harry?" He asked. "You look... better."

Harry smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah, last time you saw me I was a wreck." He chuckled. "I travelled to the US; it was amazing with great people and the food was fantastic!" His smile then faded. "Luna and Neville helped me a lot to get better... so did my fathers and The Weasleys... I didn't realise how much of a mess I was until I started getting better." He paused, bit his lower lip and then continued again. "I remember what you told me before I left... how you love me and would wait for me..." he trailed off.

"And?" Draco prompted, nervously clenching his hands.

Harry turned serious again. "I thought about it... what you said... I even dated a few men to see if I change my mind... I wanted to see if it was just physical attraction between us... but nothing changed..." He paused again. "I thought about all that happened... with you, Luc and I... it almost stopped me from coming back... almost... I hated you for a while... then I stopped... I cried for a while too... but I know it will do me no good..." Another long pause. "You were right all along... I have... _feelings_ for you but... I can't say I love you, Draco... not yet... but I am willing to court you... but slowly... I'm still recovering in a sense... if you'll have me I... I want to be with you." He turned his head down with a small blush.

Draco blinked for a moment, speechless and then smiled; he gently raised the brunet's head up. "We will go as slow as you want, love." He leaned his forehead on Harry's and breathe in the intoxicating scent he had missed; he promised himself to make up for all he did to Harry and more. "God, I missed you."

Harry nodded a little. "Me too." He whispered and leaned up to kiss his lips chastely, their hands still linked.

**000**

**Seven years Later...**

He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him; he had to get away from them or they will torture him, just like they did to his brother. The five-year-old boy quickly ran into a room on the left and hid in the closet.

Heavy footsteps down the corridor made him whimper a bit but he clasped his hand over his mouth before it could build into a yell. The footsteps got closer and closer and he could now see the shadowy outline of his foe from a tiny crack in the closet door.

"August." The man said in a singsong voice. "I have a surprise for you... and if you come out, I promise you would get it."

The boy, August, almost believed him but he had learnt not to listen to anything the man said, especially when it was seven in the evening.

Another set of heavy footsteps thundered into the room. "Have you found him y-"

"Shush." The first one whispered urgently. "I can tell he's here somewhere..." he practically hummed the last word. The first one fell to his knees and looked under the bed. "Not here." He stood up and tiptoed to the large toy box. "Aha!" he yelled as he opened it but then he frowned and said. "Not here either."

The second one smirked. "How about the closet?"

August's heart skipped a beat.

"Hm." The first one said rubbing his chin. He walked slowly towards the closet. "He _may_ be in there..."

August used both his hands to cover his mouth and nose so they would not hear him breathe.

The first man got closer and closer, he reached for the handle, wrapped his fingers around it and... "You know what." He said. "I don't think he's here." He drew his hand away from the handle and stared at the second man.

"Yeah, you're right." The second one sneered. "Like he would be smart enough to hide in here." The first one nodded in agreement as the second man said. "Let's go check the pantry... you know how children love candy!"

"Good idea." They both left the room and closed the door.

August waited for the footsteps to fade before he smiled and slowly crept out of his hiding place. With a smug smile, he dusted himself off and opened the door to seek a better hiding place. "Who's the smart one now?" he hummed.

"That would be us." The moment he stepped out of the room, a pair of hands lifted him up by his shoulder and another pair took his legs.

"NO!" August yelled. "Let me go... I don't wanna..."

The men turned, with the boy struggling in their arms. August could see his brother sitting calmly in a blue porcelain tub, reading one of the books the men had water proofed for him.

"I don't wanna!" August yelled and kicked as the man at his feet took off his trousers. "I don't wanna take a bath!"

"August, you smell and you have mud in your face." The man holding his arms said. He then looked up and scowled at the other man. "I blame you."

The man at August's feet looked scandalised; his grey eyes were glazed over with mirth and shock, his platinum blonde hair was a mess from chasing August around the house. "ME?" he cried. "I only gave him a _sip_." He wrinkled his nose at the lie.

"A sip? It was a whole cup! He's five, Draco!" The man at August's arm was an angry green-eyed brunet. "Giving him that much cola at this age was not the best thing to do... he's already hyper as it is."

They managed to divest August of his clothes and when he tried to run again, they carried him by his hands and feet and positioned him poised over the tub. "Wait!" August yelled; the men and August's brother all turned to the boy. "You know I love you right, Daddy?" he said with huge grey eyes.

August's brother shook his head with a sigh and turned back to his book while both men smirked. "We love you too." They both answered and dropped him into the tub but not before placing a cushioning charm on the tub.

August spurted as he sat up, his jet-black hair clinging to his scalp. "Shut up, Arthur." He hissed at his laughing brother.

His identical twin continued to laugh though. "You could have just gotten into the tub by yourself- ahh!" Arthur yelled when August splashed water in his face. "Dad!"

"August!" The brunet called out. "How many times do I have to tell you not to splash in the tub."

"They are just being boys, Harry." Draco said which resulted in a damp towel in his face.

"Don't you say a word!" Harry scolded. "This is still your fault." He bent down to pick up August's clothes from the floor and yelp when something smacked his buttocks. The boys in the tub tried not to giggle while Draco looked down at his nails, the wet towel hanging loosely in hand. "Draco, did you just smack me with that towel?"

Draco shrugged. "Maybe I did, maybe I... hey!" he narrowly missed having a face full of August's trousers.

"Is that how you want to play?" Harry said with a sly smile, wringing another damp towel in his hand.

"No!" Draco ran out of the bathroom with Harry not far behind, twirling his towel in the air.

"Run papa!" August called. "Run dad!" Arthur yelled before both boys broke into a laughing fit.

**000**

**Later that evening...**

Harry placed a kiss on each of his sleeping sons' head and smiled; six years ago, Harry and Draco had applied and gotten a surrogate witch who had given them their twins. Arthur James and August Homer Potter-Malfoy; Arthur was the oldest, calm, fastidious and loves to read while August was the complete opposite, rash, rough and outspoken, nevertheless, both were very brave.

They were his boys; Harry always sighed at that, _'His boys' _no one else's. He finally has the family he had always dreamed of; he would learn from and teach them but not without missing his daughter along the way. However, he knew she was with them.

Harry and Draco had moved to Australia to start their family after they married; Arthur and James attended an elementary school nearby. Although they have magic and have been to the Malfoy Manor to visit their grandfathers, Harry wanted them to learn about the muggle world first before they are thrusted fully into the world of magic.

Harry lingered at the door as he took one last look at his boys in their beds before he shut the door quietly and tiptoed across the corridor, down the stairs and into Draco's study. The blonde sat with a glass of wine on his left and tons of paper work scattered across his desk; Draco worked as a diplomat in the Ministry of Magic and sometimes, he had to travel for official business.

"Hello, handsome." Harry said leaning against the door with a smug smile as Draco jumped.

"Don't do that, Harry." Draco said breathlessly with a glare.

Harry raised up his hands in submission. "Just playing." He said.

Draco only grunted, shook his head and continued to look at the documents on the desk.

"What ya doing?" Harry asked in a cloying voice.

Draco smirked, he knew what it meant when Harry used that voice. "Not now, Harry."

The brunet pouted and walked with determination towards Draco. "Why not?" He whined.

Draco sighed. "Because one, I have work to do." He stated. "And two, you whipped me with a damn towel... that hurt like hell by the way."

Harry chuckled. "You started it." He sat on the desk.

Draco sneered. "Well, now I'm going to think about what I have done..." He said smugly. "_Alone_."

"Aww darling, don't be like that." Harry said as he forced his way onto Draco's lap, ignoring his protests. "Besides, I forgive you..." He nuzzled the blonde's neck. "...and I want to make it up to you." He leaned in and kissed his husband, forcing his mouth open and thrusting his tongue in.

Draco, at first protested but soon gave in and deepened the kiss, which earned him a groan from Harry. He wrapped his arms around his husband's rear and lifted; Harry instinctively twined his legs around Draco's waist as he was raised and settled on the desk, still joined at the lips.

Harry pulled away and smirked. "Not feeling so lonesome are we now?" He asked dryly.

Draco growled and pulled Harry into a hard kiss; he started to quickly unbutton Harry's shirt with his long fingers while Harry slowly unbuckled his belt and thrust his hand into the trouser, palming the erection that tented the material.

"Hm Harry." Draco moaned and attacked Harry's ear, making the brunet falter in his ministrations and moan loudly. "Any louder Harry and you'll wake them." Draco whispered.

Harry smirked. "It's not my... Merlin... damn fault." Harry tried to say harshly but Draco had returned to his ear, turning him into mush.

Draco had finally finished with the endless buttons and divested Harry of his shirt, he had no troubles removing the belt and unbuttoning his pants before he gently stroked the brunet's erection.

"Draco." Harry said, breathless.

Said man was trailing kisses slowly down the pale body until he finally got to his goal... then he diverted.

"Arse!" Harry growled and Draco chuckled.

"Patience, love." The blonde said. He kissed his way back up from Harry's calve to the insides of his thighs, getting closer to the throbbing organ... before he moved to the hipbone instead.

"Draco, if you don't take care of me now, I'll do it myself." Harry hissed.

Draco smirked and threw his husband an air kiss before he abruptly took the organ into his mouth. Harry bit down a squeak as his husband bobbed his head up and down on his sensitive appendage and then dug his tongue into the silt as if looking for buried treasure.

"Hm sooo clooose." Harry whine and bucked frantically into the warm heat seeking completion.

Draco moaned around the flesh in his mouth and soon his throat was full of the salty viscous seed he was now used to. He milked Harry of the remaining seed and pulled away after one last vicious suck.

Harry pulled Draco up for another deep kiss; he moaned and instantly hardened again at the taste of himself on his husband. "That was amazing." Harry droned as he pulled away and nuzzled Draco's chest.

Draco chuckled and held him close. "You know, I've always had this fantasy of taking you as you're bent over my desk."

Harry's head shot up, his eyes wide and his brows in his hair but then his shocked expression slowly turned into a smile. "Well, there's a nice sturdy desk here..." He hit his heel against one of the table's leg for emphasis. "The kids are asleep... and you and I are as horny as hell." He spread his legs wide, displaying himself for Draco. "So what are you going to do about it, Mr Malfoy?"

Draco smirked and licked his lips; he had a few ideas about what he wanted to do to the brunet now and for many, many years to come.

_~Fin~_

_**AN**__: *sniff*... it's actually finally over... sorry if it feels rushed... I have grown since I started this story and I'm sure most of you have as well... I would like to thank you all for all the reviews, favourite author alerts, favourite story alerts, community alerts and author alerts; they have motivated me to write for you guys and I have actually become a much better writer than I originally was... thank you so much... _

_I now have an LJ account under the same name... I will be posting unedited versions of my non HP fanfics there and also a few original short stories... next I will be writing a YYH fanfic from the list I posted on my profile... the first chapter will be posted between this week and the first week of December... I will or have already posted a link to the LJ account so feel free to pop in... _

_... don't forget to review; even if you're reading this for the first or third time, please review... opinions change and I want you to tell me if this story was worth writing... show me my faults and mistakes... advice me on how I should improve... don't be afraid to be mean... it would help me in the long run... if you have never reviewed or you haven't reviewed in a while now is the time to redeem yourself... take care all of you... oh and REVIEW!_


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